taigia  asked:

Hey Season! Rayfe with the silly prompt we discussed. "Is this hell?”Nathaniel is the responsible one in "The Miraculous Barcrawl" ™ starring Drunkinette, Drunkdrien, Alyacohol, In-Nino-briated, Cham-chloe, Nath the sober.

These names are amazing and so is the prompt. Thanks, friend! :)

“Is this hell?” Nathaniel groaned, running his hand down his face. “It feels like hell.”

“How’s your ginger ale, Nath?” Adrien’s eyes lit up with glee. “Ginger ale! Get it! Nath, do you get it?!”

“Because I have red hair?”

Adrien slapped a hand on his shoulder. “He gets it!”

Chloe hiccuped.

“Hell…ginger ale,” Nino murmured. “There’s some connection there.”

“Poems,” Marinette giggled, head dropping to Alya’s shoulder. “Rhymey wimey poems, Ninny!”

Alya snorted. “Name’s not Ninny. You’re wasted, girl.” She took a deeper drink of her dark stout. “Mmmm.”

Chloe hiccuped again, eyes wide.

“Ninny binny swinny winny,” Marinette sang, reaching for her glass and frowning. “Blue drink gone.”

“I’ll save you, my Lady!” Adrien leapt up from his chair, foot snagging the leg of Marinette’s and he went down hard.

Nathaniel squeezed his eyes shut. “Someone tell me if he’s bleeding.”

“Am I going to explode?” Chloe whispered, slapping a hand over her mouth as another hiccup escaped.

“I’ll check on him,” Alya annouced, forcing her chair back into Adrien’s prone form. He groaned from the sticky bar floor. “My chair seems to be broken and upset,” Alya sighed, settling back in it.

Nino looked around. “Where’s Adrien?”

“All right, well, as much fun as this has been, I think it’s time we all go home.” Nathaniel stood and helped Chloe out of her chair. “Don’t worry, you’re not going to explode,” he said when she opened her mouth to speak.

He moved over to Nino next, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, man, up you go.” Nino stood on wobbly legs.

Marinette popped up out of her chair and hugged Nathaniel around the neck. “Happy birthday!”

He chuckled. “It’s your birthday, Mari.”

Her eyes widened. “Happy birthday to me!”

Nathaniel kicked the bottom of Adrien’s shoe gently. “Are you alive?”

“I think I fell.”

“You don’t say.”

“I’ll help him!” Alya tried to push her chair out again and Adrien curled up in the fetal position. 

Nathaniel sighed. “You two stay here. Alya, just sit. Don’t try to get up. I’m going to get everyone else out to the car and come back.”

“I can’t walk,” Chloe whispered. “Everything is spinning.”

Marinette kissed her cheek. “Silly Chloe Bowie Zoe.”

Nathaniel moved in front of Chloe and cupped her face between his hands. Her eyes darted wildly back and forth. “You are not a drinker,” he murmured. “Do you think you can ride on my back to the car?”

She swallowed and nodded, gingerly climbing on his back and then forming a death grip around his neck. Nathaniel gasped for air and started to move forward, herding Marinette and Nino towards the door. Marinette grabbed Nino’s hand and pulled him out into the cool night air. 

Nathaniel trudged forward as best he could with Chloe’s added weight and attempt to strangle him. He locked the three of them in his car, prayed a quick prayer no one got sick, and surged back towards the bar for his last two teammates. He found Alya lying on the floor by Adrien and playing with his hair.

“Come on, you two. Time to go home.” He pulled them both to their feet and led them out to the car to pile into the backseat with Nino and Marinette. He circled around and climbed in, Chloe immediately grabbing for his hand as soon as he was inside. He glanced at her with exasperated fondness and looked at the big group in the back. “Is everybody ready?”

“Natha-niellll,” Marinette sang, “thank you for your birthday!”

“Your birthday, Mari.”

“My birthday!”

He shook his head. “I must really like you guys.”

“We love you, Nath,” Alya said sleepily, head falling to Nino’s shoulder. “You’re our favorite.”

“Yay for Nathaniel,” Marinette yawned.

“Fun guy,” Nino agreed.

Adrien let out a snore.

“Bunch of lightweights,” he grinned, turning to check on Chloe. She was halfway turned in her seat, hand still gripping his but her face relaxed in sleep. He reached over with his free hand to brush some hair away from her face and sighed. “Beautiful lightweights. Let’s go home.”

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