brianna wiest

Thursday, 22 June — 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest | Book Review, 5/5⭐️

As the title said this book contains 101 essays that will literally change the way you think and I sincerely think that everyone should read it and use it on a daily basis. At first I must admit that was a little bit worried, as a non-english native speaker I thought that essays would be very hard for me to understand but it wasn’t a problem at all! This book helped me in so many different ways, it helped me being a better version of myself, and helped me seeing things differently but mostly changed my perception of life.
What I liked the most about this book was the author’s honest and deep writing style, and that’s maybe the reason why I was feeling very connected with a lot of her essays. Speaking about the essays, some of them were extremely short and I found that very cool, because in my mind, essays were always some boring and long texts dealing with boring content but this book literally changed the way I think about that. All of her essays were very interesting to read and it was quite hard for me to put the book down!
I’ve read this book during my finals and it was perfect to take a little break and read 3 to 5 essays between subjects!
So as you may now know, this book is now one of my ultimate favorite, and I’ll for sure re-read some essays! I highly recommend you to grab a copy of it, because I’m sure that everyone can connect with it!

While writing this review I challenged myself to pick my top 3 essays of this book so here are the titles: “If We Saw Souls Instead Of Bodies”, “20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are”, “You Are A Book Of Stories, Not A Novel”

Here is a summary: Over the past few years, Brianna Wiest has gained renown for her deeply moving, philosophical writing. This new compilation of her published work features pieces on why you should pursue purpose over passion, embrace negative thinking, see the wisdom in daily routine, and become aware of the cognitive biases that are creating the way you see your life. Some of these pieces have never been seen; others have been read by millions of people around the world. Regardless, each will leave you thinking: this idea changed my life.

Learn what it means to have radical empathy. Realize that underneath it all we are the same. We have all suffered. We have all known loss, heartbreak, grief, sadness, tragedy and misfortune, all in the uniqueness of our own experiences. You may not know what someone’s story is but you do know what it feels like to have a knife going through you when you lose someone you love. What it’s like to be completely alone and thwarted from society. You always have the ability to understand people at that very raw, human level. It’s only a matter of how much you’re willing to see yourself in them.
—  Brianna Wiest
Things didn’t work out because, well, greater things were in the works. It’s so difficult while we’re blind and hurting and don’t know which way is up. But, if you have faith in anything, have faith in the fact that the universe has a beautiful way of straightening things out far better than we ever could. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful– or where you always wanted to be. You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to.
—  Brianna Wiest
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Friday, April 21, 2017
— Exams are coming

I am using the book “101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think” by Brianna Wiest for study breaks! It is such a great book, I highly recommend you to buy it!

Have a nice sunny day (from an anxious student!)

It might be the hardest thing we ever have to do: find the grace to accept that which isn’t meant for us and the actions of those who aren’t meant for us. But some paths run parallel and some simply don’t. Some do for a while and then they diverge. Sometimes abruptly. Sometimes forever. This does not lessen their importance or their impact. It only means they were there for a time, and now they’re not. And not one bit of it has anything to do with whether or not you’re worthy or deserving or going to find love again.
—  Brianna Wiest
You have to stop believing that you need other people’s permission to be okay with yourself. That however you do or don’t align with what other people value determines your worth. That however the world does or doesn’t show you kindness is a direct reflection of how much you deserve it. You have to be kind to yourself. Even, and probably most especially, when it seems least deserved.
—  Brianna Wiest, You Have To Be Kindest To Yourself When It Seems Least Deserved

Nothing is going to make you any more of a person than you can be on your own, and that you need to be on your own.

Because there are too many people running around feeling abandoned by friends and loved ones that they’ve assigned some ultimate responsibility to rather than themselves, and they’re suffering the consequences. Because there is nothing that is certain and stable but you as an abstract but present being; your ability to embrace your consciousness and ability to choose to define yourself on your own terms, and whether or not you’re going to take stock in that and let it be your foundational understanding of your life or not.

Because nobody can love you like you can. And nobody is responsible to either.

—  Why You Need to Be Your Own Heroine, Brianna Wiest
Accept These Things

10 Difficult Realities You’ll Continually Face Until You Learn How To Accept Them

1. You are not excluded from the human condition. You feel hopeless? You feel like you’re on the brink of tears every other hour? You hate who you were and you are afraid of who you won’t become? You’re experiencing a very real, very difficult part of what it means to be human. But thinking such suffering is abnormal and unavoidable is what will be most painful– resisting it, running from it. You can’t seamlessly execute your life with grace and charisma at all times, if ever really, and it’s in comparing whatever you are to that infallible ideal that you’ll hurt yourself the most.

2. The best people, the most beautiful people, the people who are best able to love completely, are the ones who have been wounded and scarred and have experienced the most. There is a certain understanding they bring to you, a certain fondness in identifying with what you’re experiencing and an appreciation for all the ways you’re unsure and unsettled with yourself. They have the kind of capacity to care that only comes from firsthand understanding. They will love you when you are together and they will love you when you are in pieces. Choosing not to love someone for their past experiences is a sad way to overlook someone who is already carved with more depth than others.

3. The most painfully effective way to know that you truly care about someone is to watch them walk out of your life, time and time again. And it’s important that this happens. What you take away from a relationship is often far more important than having had it. There is no better way to really dig into people and uproot what needs to go. And there are few times that you’ll be more desperately exacerbated for someone’s attention than right after that break up, and the way you respond to that often says a lot about the state of your being. Learning to see that objectively is difficult. But when you’re far enough away from it, it always seems to make sense.

4. There are many things that will torture you in your life. Continually allowing yourself be one of them is a truly unfortunate waste and a misuse of the time you do have to heal yourself and enjoy what’s left.

5. Love is not an incomprehensible mystery. It is universal and freeing and comes to us in a million different ways. It comes when we least expect it and when we most expect it. It comes from family and from ourselves and from friends and from doing things we love and from strangers and yes, from romantic partners. Not having one does not mean you don’t have any of the rest. You’ll spend a significant portion of your life in search of love in many different forms, and it’s only one day that you’ll realize you’re thirsty and swimming in the middle of an ocean. You either drink or keep suffering. You either start seeing the love that’s around you or it will never be enough.

6. Saying something is “hard” is ultimately a justification of just doing what’s easiest. Excuses rarely mean anything. Nothing worthwhile is easy. Saying you can’t because you’ve been through x, y and z is just another way to excuse yourself from the grind that is life. Nobody respects that. Nobody says “aw, poor thing, they didn’t pursue something because they suffered from their experiences.” No. People who are legendary that are the ones who kept going in the face of adversity. That’s what makes a story incredible. That’s the plot line of a daily life that means something. That’s what makes someone extraordinary. That element of suffering is crucial. You have to grow from it, not be defeated by it.

7. The best things often come disguised as the worst things. You have to let yourself be gutted by them. They’re making way for something far greater.

8. Ignoring your feelings will not make them go away. Suppressing your issues only amplifies them while you’re unconscious of it and silently rips away at your life.

9. The idea that any one person knows it all is false… yes, myself included. We can only ever speak to our own experiences, and from those, we can offer what we’ve learned to other people. But that doesn’t encompass all of the intricacies of that other person’s life. If you’re searching for answers you have to read a lot of different people’s work, understand what they’ve learned from their experiences, read theories and ideas and fiction and whatever else somehow calms a little part of you– and see how it applies to you. You cannot follow anybody else’s guidebook but you can, and should, take ideas from them whenever you can.

10. You cannot dilute the significance of your ability to choose by ideas of fate and universal guidance. You choose happiness. You choose love. You choose to settle and you choose to not. Not taking responsibility for your life leaves it in the hands of a reckless and seemingly uncertain universe. There are times to be complacent and then there are times to stand up and be a complete bad ass. There are times you have to demand respect and pursue your goals, no matter how small they are, with complete irreverence for the fact that you could fail. There are times you can be complacent and there are times you have to be accepting even if it nearly breaks your heart. Half the battle of life is figuring out when it’s time to do so. 

By Brianna Wiest via Thought Catalog

The tides of life won’t always bring you back ashore — sometimes, you have to row yourself over. Often, nothing changes until you change it. Nothing is better until you make it that way. There’s nothing you’re not responsible for. Just waiting around for something to happen, lamenting that it isn’t, wishing, hoping, praying for it to change, doesn’t always ensure that it will. Go, move, act, speak. Your days are slipping by you, and every day you spend in the mediocre is another you miss in the extraordinary.

If you’re seeking the miraculous, keep seeking. Life is unimaginably short and passes even faster than that; there will be enough average things in your life. Don’t let love be one of them. Because if it’s unconditional, life-changing, mind-altering, madly-passionate-sometimes-extraordinarily-difficult-but-none-the-less-just-plain-extraordinary love that you find yourself inherently invested in with every bit of your heart, if it’s the person who is there beneath the layers of your heart that you’ve calloused over through the years—you need to go be with that person. Be with who uproots you and makes you realize you didn’t know how deeply your soul could stretch. Be with who loves you. Who really, actually, genuinely, truly, madly, deeply, passionately loves you. And to whom you reciprocate the feelings to as well.

This does not mean be with the person that you most easily get along with. Sometimes, extraordinary love isn’t easy (it usually never is) but in one way or another, it is always worth it. So don’t mistake the extraordinary for what you’re settling for. I know this is an extremely difficult thing to do most times, because when there’s nothing really wrong with your relationship there’s no reason to wreak havoc and go… except, there is. And that’s because the extraordinary is waiting for you somewhere else. In the words of Cheryl Strayed, have the courage to break your own heart. That’s awesome if you really like each other, and even if everything is swell but yet, somewhere you know, this person doesn’t absolutely rock your world, you need to go.

Because you need (and deserve) love that is something of an other-worldly connection, that you can’t really make sense of in your mind. Mind-blowing-life-changing-heart-stopping-blood-rushing-miraculous love. Don’t settle until you have it, if that’s what you want.

There is no time for love that isn’t miraculous. Get up and leave. Move. Go. Don’t hold on because you think you’ll never find someone else. If you’re even a little bit unsure, leave. Your uncertainty should tell you that at the very least, you need to explore other avenues. And if those roads lead you back, great. If they don’t, great. Wanting to leave is enough reason to go. And believe me, one way or another, you will eventually wind up where you’re supposed to. Whether it’s with some cool new person or back into the arms of the person you left, you won’t ever have to question whether or not you should be with them.

—  You Want Extraordinary Love, You Need To Fight For It, Brianna Wiest

You are my home because you are the place I choose to return to over and over again. The place that, even when painful, means the most. You are my home because you have made me who I am, whether or not you realized what you were doing. You are my home because you showed me the best kind of love there is.

You showed me real, genuine, love-you-so-much-it-hurts-and-changes-me-at-my-core love. It was a blissful combination of finally feeling alive mixed with the most painfully difficult challenge I never thought I’d have to deal with. I didn’t know I could ever feel so strongly that I’d end up there.

—  Brianna Wiest
But you know what is devastating? Living a life you don’t really want because you never had the guts to live your truth. What I mean by “your truth” is what you know to be what you most want to do. The person or people you most want to love. The things that cut you open and ignite your nerves and can send you over the edge but you keep going back because you know, despite everything, that this is what’s meant for you. If nothing else, the reason to do it is this: the truth inside you will win out eventually. Or it will drive you mad. Your truth isn’t a passing thought or feeling that will just dissipate one day. You won’t get over what’s really meant for you. You will only ever become more and more aware that you’re denying yourself the greatest joy in fear of the possibly greatest disappointment. “the brave may not live forever, but the cautious don’t live at all.”
—  Brianna Wiest
24 Things You Shouldn’t Have To Make Excuses For

1. Momentary discrepancies in your calm and cool demeanor. We all lose it a little now and again. Actually, many of us lose it more than just a little. You don’t need to make excuses for going through a rough patch. You are entitled to your feelings, and you are allowed to be honest about them. You need not defend yourself with reasons you could be disinterested or struggling if they aren’t the truth. Unless, of course, you aren’t comfortable with exposing something personal, in which case saying so would be appropriate.

12. The fact that you made mistakes in the past, or that you may not have been the greatest person at one point. I know I wasn’t. Sometimes I’m still not. You don’t have to be sorry about these things, because you never have to be sorry for what you innately are, in this case: human. You show me someone who thinks they are flawless and I’ll show you a deluded individual.

24. Having a broken heart, in more ways than just being romantically jaded. It’s as though the idea of being broken over someone somehow makes you pathetic and sad. Really, it means you cared about someone very much, and that you are just going through one of the many phases of human life. Heartbreak, in every terrible form it comes in, is a universal experience, and some people will find themselves irritated that you can’t just simply move on because they are recalling the time they couldn’t do so themselves. Don’t let that make you feel as though your feelings are invalid– because fighting them is like trying to put out fire with gasoline

 

10 Things I Wish I Could Have Told Myself 5 Years Ago

1. You spend too much time worried about the vapid opinions of jealous, little people. What you have to know is that nothing will define you unless you let it. You are only whoever you decide you are. You are not a democracy. There is nothing that anybody can say that will change who you are, unless you take it to heart and you let it.

2. There is no designated time for anything in your life. You don’t have to have your first kiss at any certain time, you don’t have to get married in your 20′s and you don’t have to do anything just because other people think it’s best. In fact, you will be much better off if you just do what your heart says. The day you stop caring what other people think is the day their opinions don’t mean anything, because you’re not there to give them weight.

3. What’s important is that you have to be kind to people, and you have to do your best. Learn to put other people first. Learn to not freak out over little, petty things. There are much bigger problems in life that you will one day have to worry about, and while I know your 9th grade drama seems like the be-all-end-all trust me, it’s not.

4. I know a big concern is whether or not you’re attractive,whether or not you’re fat or skinny, whether or not the music you listen to is “cool,” but here’s the thing: you’re seeking an answer that doesn’t exist. You are only as much or as little of any of those things as you think you are. But what’s more important is that you have to realize that there are a thousand things that are more important than being “cool” or “beautiful.” Find those things, and take pride in them instead. They won’t fade with time.

5. One of the absolute truths about life is that people will forget what you did, they will forget what you said, but they will not forget how you made them feel. I cannot stress this enough. Listen to Maya Angelou.

6. It’s okay to not be okay. You don’t have to be happy all the time. Life is not supposed to be a joy ride every single day. It’s okay to have a broken heart or hurt feelings or to be anxious or nervous. It’s resisting these things that give them their choke hold on you. Let it be a beautiful and sad part of the story, but only a page or a chapter here and there, not the whole book. One day you will realize how important these dynamics are.

7. You need to work on having a little more blind faith in things– yes, I know, this seems counter-intuitive to all the messages that you’re receiving from society. But there is a difference between taking control of your life by pursuing things that are important to you and learning when to let go and let whatever is supposed to be unfold by itself. It’s a little anxiety-inducing to be blindly led by the universe, but please, please take my word for it: you will be led to far greater places than you could even comprehend to take yourself. Trust it, and go with the flow babe.

8. Stop being afraid of being who you are. At the end of the day, people can hate on you as much as their little cold hearts desire, but what it should all really tell you is that there is some gaping insecurity within them that forces them to be mean to you. You are a bad ass. You are a fantastic person. You are going to do great things, even thought you don’t feel like you’re worth anything right now. Stop trying to hide who you are or cover it up because you think if people attack your armor they won’t affect who you really are. But the truth about that is you are allowing them to control your ego because you’re not in tune with your true self.

9. Learn to sit back and enjoy the ride. Immerse yourself in the joy you find in lazy Sundays. Eat your favorite foods. Do the things you love to do, and don’t feel bad because it’s not “cool” or something. You have to realize that just because your life doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean it’s less than theirs. In fact, embrace the fact that your life isn’t anything like anybody else’s, it’s personally tailored for you. So put on that suit and wear it like the beautiful woman you will one day become.

10. You don’t need love, now or ever. You will have your heart seriously broken a few times, but you know what? You’ll pick yourself right the hell up and become even more fabulous than you were before. Do not settle. If you have your own love, and by that I mean you’re okay with being with yourself and you can find happiness in your life as it is, you’ll realize that you are waiting for someone else to come and make your life worth living. But here’s the truth: people will come and go. Love will fade and reignite and you will be headed for nothing but problems if your love for someone is contingent upon what they can do for you. Embrace your independence now, and keep your head high always. There are far better things ahead than you can even imagine.

You will not be ready when the love of your life comes along. You also probably won’t be ready when you see the listing for your dream job or to buy a house or maybe have a kid…
If you wait on the feeling of ‘readiness’ you’ll be waiting forever and worse, you’ll miss the best of what’s in front of you.
— 

Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

Get it here


(US link)

You have to stop believing that you need other people’s permission to be okay with yourself. That however you do or don’t align with what other people value determines your worth. That however the world does or doesn’t show you kindness is a direct reflection of how much you deserve it. You have to be kind to yourself. Even, and probably most especially, when it seems least deserved.
—  Brianna Wiest