brian todd

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For once, there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes; a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream; a land where all things are perfect and poisonous.

Good Comics That Had Bad Consequences

The Punisher Volume 1 (1986) & 2 (1987)

What they should have learned: Writers Mary Joe Duffy and later Mike Baron melded elements of men’s adventure novels and VHS-era crime films to superhero comics elevating Frank Castle from a fairly one-note Spider-Man foil to a compelling anti-hero whose popularity continues today.

What they actually learned:  Marvel and DC Comics churned out scores of deadly gun carrying anti-heroes trying to recreate Frank’s success over and over again.

Watchmen (1986)

What they should have learned: Alan Moore’s magnum opus is a one-of-a kind blend of world building, non-linear narrative, and alternative history to create a true mind-spinning work of unparalleled depth.

What they actually learned: Swearing and death scenes makes you “mature.”

Batman: The Killing Joke (1988)

What they should have learned: With it’s sickening violence, lurid nightmarish colors, and elaborate backgrounds Moore’s most controversial DC book is a masterpiece of tension that takes Batman & the Joker’s conflict to it’s furthest logical conclusion and intends to sicken the reader.

What they actually learned: Rather than being the apex of grimdark “The Killing Joke” inspires a generation of readers and writers to decide that Batman should ONLY be grimdark to the point that characters like Harley Quinn and The Mad Hatter have quadruple digit body-counts.  Also Barbara Gordon remains crippled for years despite Moore regretting making that part of the story.

Todd McFarlane’s Spider-Man (1988)

What they should have learned:  A young artist takes some visual risks and becomes popular by eschewing Marvel’s house style of the time creating a unique and striking visual. The time experimenting with Spider-Man gives McFarlane the tools to create his wildly popular original series Spawn.

What they actually learned: Rather than inspire companies to take risks with their artists the popularity of McFarelane, Jim Lee, and Rob Liefeld inspire Marvel & DC to make their house style an amalgam of “The Image Style” resulting in eyesores like “Extreme Justice” and “Force Works.”

Bone (1991)

What they should have learned: By mixing cartoon antics and high fantasy Jeff Smith proved that child friendly comics can reach a wide audience and that cartoonish books don’t have to be simple or boring.

What they actually learned: Once the value of a mint condition copy of Bone #1 shot to $100 in Wizard’s Price Guide speculators started looking at black and white indy comics like they were lottery tickets.

Alias (2001)

What they should have learned: Another genre mash-up this neo-noir mix of violence, sex, super-heroics and gritty story-telling FINALLY gave Marvel a critically acclaimed Mature Readers title that could compete with DC’s Vertigo line.

What they actually learned: Writers see Bendis’s take on The Purple Man and conclude that sex crimes are an easy way to show how bad your villain is. Thus paving the way for sleaze-fests like “Identity Crisis” and “Kick-Ass II.” 

Ultimate Spider-Man #1 (2002)

What they should have learned: By taking a thoughtful slow build a young Brian Michael Bendis proved that with clever dialog and solid pacing that character building can be just as exciting as superhero action.

What they actually learned: You can pad-out a one-issue story to six issues then sell it as a trade.

Musicians as desserts
  • Mike Rutherford: Doughnut holes
  • Phil Collins: Angel food cake
  • Peter Gabriel: Key lime pie
  • Tony Banks: Tiramisu
  • Steve Hackett: Chocolate cake
  • Jon Anderson: Milkshake
  • Bill Bruford: Lemon bars
  • Chris Squire: Jell-o
  • Steve Howe: Strawberry shortcake
  • Alan White: Pineapple upside down cake
  • Rick Wakeman: Banana pudding
  • Todd Rundgren: Fruit cake
  • Robert Fripp: Blueberry crumble
  • Brian Eno: Cheesecake
  • Keith Emerson: Chilli chocolate
  • Greg Lake: Bundt cake
  • Carl Palmer: Ice cream cone
  • Roger Daltrey: Sorbet
  • Keith Moon: Moon pie!
  • Pete Townshend: Gingerbread
  • John Entwistle: Fudge
  • Steve Winwood: Apple pie
  • Geddy Lee: Nanaimo
  • Alex Lifeson: Raspberry tart
  • Neil Peart: Ayn Rand
  • David Gilmour: Red velvet cake
  • Rick Wright: Cupcake
  • Nick Mason: Apple pie and cream (WITH NO CRUSTS)
  • Syd Barrett: Bag of Halloween candy
  • Roger Waters: Baked Alaska
  • John Bonham: Bear claw
  • Robert Plant: Cotton candy
  • Jimmy Page: Liquorice
  • John Paul Jones: Cream puff
  • Paul McCartney: Cherry pie
  • George Harrison: Baklava
  • Ringo Starr: Jelly roll
  • John Lennon: Chocolate chip cookies
  • David Bowie: Banana split
  • Kate Bush: Mixed berry parfait