How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
How to Win Friends & Influence People ranks right up there with Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill as one of the nestselling books of all time. I recently re-read it after having read it over 20 years ago.
When I initially read the book in my mid 20’s, I used some of the points in the book to meet the then Prime Minister of Canada, Brian Mulroney for a personal meeting.
As I was reading I noticed that I use many of the things that Carnegie wrote about and wondered how many of them I had first started using because of the book.
Enjoy my summary of the book. I can just cover the points covered and not all the great stories that prove the points. That is a shame because the stories are the heart of the book as well as the suggestions and tips.
The book was originally published in 1937 by Simon and Schuster and only 5000 copies were printed. Today it is one of the all-time international best-sellers.
Part One - Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Principle 1 - Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
Principle 2 - Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Principle 3 - Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways To Make People Like You
Principle 1 - Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2 - Smile
Principle 3 - Remember that a Person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle 4 - Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5 - Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Principle 6 - Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Principle 1 - The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 2 - Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
Principle 3 - If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
Principle 4 - Begin in a friendly way.
Principle 5 - Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Principle 6 - Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Principle 7 - Let the othe person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Principle 8 - Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Principle 9 - Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Principle 10 - Appeal to the nobler motives
Principle 11 - Dramatize your ideas.
Principle 12 - Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Principle 1 - Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Principle 2 - Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Principle 3 - Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Principle 4 - Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Principle 5 - Let the other person save face.
Principle 6 - Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish with your praise.”
Principle 7 - Give the other person a fine repuation to live up to.
Principle 8 - Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 9 - Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Make sure to purchase How To Win Friends and Influence People and read it for yourself. You will see why it still is a worldwide best-seller after all these years.
In February 1993, Prime Minister Brian Mulroney announced his retirement from politics and a new PM needed to be chosen. Eventually, the party chose Kim Campbell to become the first female Prime Minister of Canada.
Later in the fall of 1993, an election was called. The Liberal opponent running against Kim Campbell in her riding of Vancouver Centre was Hedy Fry. Hedy Fry only agreed to run if the Liberal party leader (Jean Chretien) agreed to include sexual orientation as a human right. He agreed and she ran for the Liberals. Fry defeated Kim Campbell in the election. Fry was only the fifth person to unseat a sitting prime minister, and the first to do so on his or her first try for office.
And this is why her office staff is 99% gays and she marches in Vancouver’s pride parade in drag.