brendon willing

Stall me analysis

Stall Me

“Fall to your knees and kiss the ring”

This is Brendon saying how he was ready to give up -to fall- and at the same time he’s willing to do anything to get Ryan back, hence the ring kissing, because usually that’s seen as a submissive thing to do, to a person you see as higher standing.

“The crowd’s rejoicing all of my dreams”

The word rejoicing could’ve been used ironically, in a mocking way, when talking about strange characteristics, in this case Brendons feelings for Ryan, and he feels that other people don’t understand what he feels or felt and are ridiculing him for it.

“Wake up to despise the world I once loved”

This sound almost as if Brendons blaming Ryan for making him hate the memories he has from the time when everyone was still in the band, he hates the feeling of nostalgia.

“Why would you bring me in if you know what you’d become?”

This line seemed really interesting,because the way it’s written , suggests that Brendon knew from the very beginning that the thing he had with Ryan was bound to fall apart, but he was in denial about it.  And I got this from the use of ‘knew’ and ‘become’, because there is a strong sense of certainty in using past tense in this sentence.

“So curse everyone and everything, even the sun.”

This is either Brendon saying that even though he partially blames Ryan for everything,he still is mad at himself, hence the use of Sun , or this could be Brendon trying to interpret, what he thinks are, Ryan’s feelings. The fact that he used the word ‘curse’ shows his strong, negative emotions.  

“Stall me, stall me I’m all in”

Brendon is saying, he’s willing to leave everything,if only Ryan asked, it’s almost like he’s unsure of some steps he’s going to take and is asking Ryan to come back and stop him from doing so.

“Stall me, Call me up or break me in”

This is saying that if Ryan doesn’t make a move, he’s going to ‘break him in’ -he’s going to damage the relationship they had and Brendon in the process.

“A dark room in the wallflower garden at the party”

The Wallflower party is the Pretty.Odd. era and the dark room is the break up, it’s the only bad thing that happened in the period of time, when everyone was high and happy.

“She’s got four on the floor, she’s waiting to kick-start me, so just stall me”

This is where Sarah comes in , ready to take Brendon and help him get back to his old self ,but he still has the small piece of  hope that Ryan will come back.

“I had a rosy dream”

Let’s look into psychology and representations,shall we. Rose is a shade of pink and it represents unconditional love and sight of hope. But it also has a negative connotation - lack of self worth , which ties in with the next two lines.

“You gave up on you and I gave up on me”

This is as simple as it sounds, Ryan gave up by leaving him and he band and that made him give up on himself - lose self worth.

“Well, love came along and said ‘leave them be’”

Brendon now has Sarah,and the logical part of him is saying that he should forget Ryan and just leave him be.

“We were wrecked on every rock you tasted, light a cork my pretty little angel”

To me this seems like a metaphor for drugs and how, even though it was fun and all, they’re slowly ruining everyone as a person and their relationships.

“I’m singing to empty bottles everywhere,everywhere.”

Now this is a thing I might get stabbed for, but after the split Brendon started to drink a lot more, even on stage and this could be the whole singing to empty bottles, because performing without Ryan just isn’t the same and he needs a coping mechanism, and alcohol is always a go to for everyone and everything. And I’m in no way saying that he had a serious problem with it or anything, I’m just saying it became noticeable.

“She counts on stars, astrology”

This line is almost like looking at everything from Sarah’s perspective,because she’s counting on Ryan not to come back ( later on Brendon is referring to parts of Ryan as stars),she’s watching him, hence the astrology part.

“My moods are mercurial”

He’s saying that ever since Ryan left, he has become unstable in a way,because that’s what ‘mercurial’ means - unstable mood changes.

“But I know Mercury, don’t hold your breath.”

Mercury is the ruler of Gemini and Virgo, and Ryan’s Virgo, so this is a metaphor for Ryan . He’s saying that Ryan doesn’t care in a way that he does, Ryan doesn’t feel like he has to hold his breath, waiting for the other one to do something.

“Baptized in the river of you”

The feeling of pure bliss and love whenever they were together,but the use of word ‘river’ takes away that feeling and goings in an image of drowning in Ryan, because the next line isn’t as sweet as this one.

“Hold on death, the moon”

This in combination with baptizing gives off the impression of Brendon feeling like he’s drowning in his love for Ryan. And again with the metaphor for Ryan - the moon.

“The stars are a sliver of you”

It doesn’t matter if Ryan is there or not, there’s always something that’s going to remind him of the boy - even the stars.

“She said she’s got more where that came from to spark me”

This is Sarah saying that she’s willing to give him everything and even more and he wants Ryan to know this, he wants him to understand what he’s willing to give away for him.

“So just stall me”

By ending the song with this phrase , Brendon is putting out the offer one last time , just to make sure Ryan got the message. After everything he’s had offered he still is waiting for Ryan and at the time it seemed like nothing’s going to change.

But, hey , look at him now. Everyone’s happy.

Please don’t kill me for this piece of shit.

5

Imagine: Being Brendon’s stylist since the start, and he always phones you for style advice…

Word Count: 574

Y/N POV

It was one of your rare days off, whenever you tried to explain to people that you were a stylist they always assumed it was an easy job. However when you mentioned that you styled Brendon Urie from Panic! at the Disco they looked at you as if to say ‘who the hell is he? Is he famous?’

You knew the guys from high school and Brendon persuaded you to skip college like your parents wanted and to join the guys as the group stylist. You were always into fashion where as your parents wanted you to become a lawyer like your older sister and brother, Brendon became your rock during that time and the two of you grew close.

You remembered styling the guys for their first video I Write Sins Not Tragedies and having so much fun that you knew this is what you wanted to do for the rest of your life. It also helped that the band were like a family to you.

Now nearly ten years down the line you’re still doing what you love, you’re still going on tour with your best friend while styling him for award shows, music videos and interviews. Brendon was always willing to experiment with his look and you were more than happy to comply.

Today you planned a peaceful day of watching Netflix because Brendon had assured you he could dress himself for one award show. However halfway through an episode of House your mobile rings and Brendon’s number pops up on screen so you answer.

Brendon: ‘Thank god you picked up Y/N. I have less than three hours before I need to leave and I don’t have anything to wear.’

You can’t help but roll your eyes as your best friend whines at you down the phone, you kind of expected this phone call which is why you were prepared.

Y/N: ‘Deep breathes Brendon. Now I knew something like this would happen so I went out and got you a whole outfit, it should be in a black bag hung in the wardrobe near your shirts.’

You had bought Brendon a plain black shirt, black trousers and a metallic gold jacket with matching shoes because you knew he was going through a stage where he liked to ‘sparkle’ as he put it.

Over the phone you could hear him moving stuff around in his wardrobe, you swore the guy had a bigger closet than you and you loved to buy clothes. The moving stopped and you could hear the unzipping of a bag and then silence.

Brendon: ‘I don’t know what to say Y/N. Damn I’m really going to sparkle tonight.’

You can’t help but laugh, you’re glad he liked it. Then again he rarely hated anything you put him in.

Y/N: ‘You could start with a thank you and make sure you send me a selfie so I can see how well you pull it off. Now shoo I’m watching House.’

Brendon: ‘Thank you darling, I’m going to be the king of the ball tonight. I’ll call you later bye.’

Y/N: ‘Bye.’

Brendon hung up and you resumed the episode of House he’d interrupted. You couldn’t believe that this was your life now, you were actually paid to give people advice on clothes and makeup. Yes you’re family still didn’t approve of the lifestyle but you were doing something you loved and no one could bring you down.

Brendon freezes slightly, eyes widening. “What are you doing?”

“Pitying you,” I shrug with a smirk, amused by the thought of all the action he thought he’d be getting on this tour, leaning in the rest of the way until my lips find his. It doesn’t gross me out either, a kiss one way or another has never meant anything. Just skin on skin. That’s what I expect, and I have already visualized his snappy comeback and me laughing at him some more after this. But then the joke is gone. Our lips touch, and it’s not funny anymore.

The touch is barely there, but I feel his warmth, the smell of cigarettes in his breath. And maybe, maybe if his lips weren’t slightly parted like they are, I wouldn’t notice the slight moistness of his lower lip. But I notice it, and I recoil in suprise, but only an inch, if even that. It shoots straight through me. My eyes are focused on his cheek as our breaths mix together.

Brendon swallows. My stomach twists.

And that. That was. That-

I move towards him as he moves towards me, his head tilting slightly, our lips hovering, trying to find something, and then it fits - it must fit, because our lips press together again. I feel the kiss in all of my body. His hand curls around my hip, and I fist his hair and pull his head closer, our lips bruising together. Jolts of excitement fly up and down my spine, all from the hungry movements of our mouths, and his lips, god, they are so soft. His stubble scratches my chin, and his hand comes up to caress my neck, all calloused fingertips.

His tongue swipes over my lower lip before going in deeper, and I don’t object. Maybe I should. I don’t. This isn’t pity anymore. No, pity, definitely not.

His hair is short as it swipes beneath my fingers, our bodies pressing together. A shuddery breath from my throat gets lost as our tongues move together, so dirty and willing. Brendon moans, a short, aroused sound, and my crotch is pressed to his, our stomachs together, our chests. His body mirrors mine in a way that fascinates me. I keep kissing him, pulse picking up, my thumb brushing his jaw line as he opens up for me.

What am I doing? What the fucking fuck do I think I’m doing?

His hand moves to the small of my back, to the top of my jeans where his nails dig into my skin. A sudden wave of heat washes over me from the touch.

Then I hear high heels against the ground, a distinctive click-click-click sound from somewhere close by. I pull back from the kiss, or kisses, kissing, the battle of our mouths, a strand of saliva stretching from my lower lip to his before breaking off.

I step back, horrified. Brendon looks as shocked as me.

—  The Heart Rate of a Mouse: Volume 1, Chapter 7.
A short for my lovely

Here you go @sarahthefabulouskilljoy I Hope you like It ❤❤❤❤

My parents walked me into church, I always felt so awkward here, my faith was shifting away from all this but I still got dragged here several times a week. I wore my cross on church days, behaving perfectly, keeping my head down and listening intently to the sermons, today was the same as every other day, except this time I sat at the back of church, my parents sitting closer to the front. I twiddled the cross between my fingers as I listened, noticing Y/N sitting near me, she was wearing her pretty red dress today, I had to admit she was one of the only reasons I ever sat at the back. Getting to sit next to her was fun, plus I hated to admit it but she always looked super hot, her dresses always fit perfectly to her body, sexy but never inappropriate, her hair perfectly styled, makeup lightly gracing her face. She shuffled closer to me on the bench, we went to school together anyway and we’re lab partners in chemistry so we talked a lot. She was super flirty at school and always flirted at parties and school events and had even called me hot a few times, I always wondered what she was up to when she shuffled up to me like this. She nudged me gently, smiling as she pressed her leg against mine.
“Hey…” She whispered, nudging into me again, her hand resting on my leg, I wriggled in my seat slightly.
“What?” I asked, tilting my head to the side to meet her eyes, she had that mischievous look on her face, biting her lip at me slightly.
“I’m bored.” She giggled playfully, biting her lip again, she looked so good like this, they way she was looking at me making me squirm in my seat, she was most definitely more experienced than me.
“You’re always bored at service.” I teased slightly, earning another playful giggle, she slid her hand into mine tugging my arm slightly.
“Hey… can I talk to you a second?” She asked, smiling sweetly at me.
“Right now?”
“Yes right now, come on we’re right at the back no one will even notice.”
“Fine.” I sighed quietly, feeling her tug me up, we slowly snuck out into the corridor of the church. “What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked innocently, my eyes widened as she gripped my collar, yanking me into a storage room and slamming the door behind us. “Jesus Y/N, what’s the deal?” I gasped, she giggled, pushing me up against the wall and kissing me, her hands on my collar still, lips attacking me own, an involuntary moan escaped my lips.
“I can’t deal with all the flirting anymore.” She moaned, planting another rough kiss on my lips, gripping onto me, her hot body pressing up against mine.
“Y/N… we’re sinning as it is and you want to do this in a church?” I panted, holding her back at arms length, I was worked up I had to admit but I hadn’t done all this before, it was all new to me unlike her, she bit her lip, fingers winding behind my neck and into my hair, pressing her lips to my softly this time.
“Look you know I’m in you, I’m sick of all the teasing.” Gripping my shirt collar again she hastily pushed me down onto a spare chair in the storage room.
“But… it’s wrong…” I tried to argue as she that across my lap, playing with my hair as her lips found mine, I couldn’t resist kissing her back, she was so gorgeous and I did like her a lot, the way her hands moved on my hair and neck it made me shudder.
“Besides…” Her lips moved down to my neck, placing slow soft kisses along my jawline, her hands moving down to the zipper on my jeans, playing with it slowly, I moaned out involuntarily, my head lulling back to her touch. “I can show you how good sinning can feel.” Her soft whispers made my hair stand on end, she began palming me through my jeans, applying the slightest bit of pressure, rewarded by me groaning. I allowed my hand to rest on her lower back, the other resting on her thigh as the pressed harder, my head lulled back in pleasure, fingertips curling slightly against her body, without warning she hopped down off of my lap, crouching in front of me.
“Woah, what’re you doing?!” I gasped out as I felt her unzip my jeans, pulling them down along with my boxers, drawing in a sharp intake of breath as her hand wrapped around me, moving slowly. I mumbled a little incoherently, even I wasn’t sure what I was trying to say, I moaned out louder, her tongue flicking out against the tip, hot against me. “Fuck! We need to stop!” I gasped realising I was getting head in a church, she giggled, nudging me back gently, it didn’t take much to make me sit back down.
“If you can honestly tell me again that you want me to stop… I will.” She teased, slowly wrapping her lips around the head of my cock, lips moving slowly down me, her hands teasing under my shirt, stroking my stomach.
“I… um, we should… shit…” I whimpered slightly, feeling myself slip lower into the chair, it felt too good, her tongue swirling as she moved her mouth up, I watched her head bob up and down in front of me, small moans leaving her lips, vibrating her mouth around me. I felt a little embarrassed that my first time doing this was in a church storeroom but I guess it would be a pretty cool story, I tried to play it off like this wasn’t all new to me, resting a hand gently in her hair, stroking it as she kept moving. It didn’t take her long at all to get me close, I felt myself twitching a little, wriggling in the chair.
“I… um I’m kinda close.” I stuttered out, squirming in my seat, she pulled her mouth off of me, biting her lip as she looked up at me. She climbed up, into my lap, straddling my hips, reaching her hand in between us without saying a word, I froze up, gripping her hips to stop her.
“What?” She asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
“Umm, well, it's… umm… my first time…” My voice crackled slightly as she looked down at me, smiling sweetly now.
“Well… if you still want to… I can take it real slow…” Her lips met mine, holding my shoulders, I was so turned on by this point, of course I wanted to. “Your choice.” She whispered sweetly, placing a kiss just below my ear as she whispered, I nodded, trying not to look like an overexcited puppy, moving my hands to her hips, holding them gently, moving them up her back slowly then back down again. Her hand slid between us again, gripping me gently, I felt myself rub against her entrance as she nudged her panties aside, she felt so wet, warm, jesus, focus Brendon. I willed myself to hold it together as her hips slowly sank down, her head lulling back, eyes closed, mouth hanging open. I let out a groan as she began to move, her hips rocking slightly as she pulled herself up then down again, biting her lips.
“Brendon…” She whimpered, holding my shoulders as I felt her speed picking up, I was giving almost focus to not blowing my load right that second, I was so damn turned on the way she moved, the way she looked, the way it felt. I moved one hand into her hair, pulling her down to kiss me, my hips bucking a little to meet her movements, come on Brendon… I was determined to make her feel good before I let go.
“Y/N…” I moaned out, gripping onto her to speed her up, I needed more, nothing was enough for me, I used my hands to increase her speed, hearing myself almost growling as she whimpered in pleasure.
“I… I’m close.” She gasped out, shuddering a little, I needed more, so much more, my mind flitted to things I’d seen before, the guy taking control, being sexy, I could do that right? I looked around the small room, spotting a spare table to our right, I tried to give myself a pep talk to man up.
“Fuck this!” I growled, gripping her and standing, carrying her to the table and gripping behind her knees, embarrassing as it was I was using porn as a reference here but it was working. She giggled and moaned louder as I gripped her knees, pulling her closer to me and pushing back into her, taking control of the pace this time, the way her legs were angled caused her dress to ride up, she looked so hot like this. I began pumping my hips fast, the rhythm was pretty easy to get into, hearing our flesh hitting, I was so horny, of she was gonna cum it needed to be soon or I’d beat her to it. Her hands found my shoulders as I gripped at her thighs, pounding my hips as fast as I could.
“I’m so close!” She almost yelled, throwing her head right back, I felt myself twitching and pumping, her walls tightening around me, I moved faster, throwing my head back as I focused hard on not cumming, her whimpering turning louder. “Fuck Brendon!” She yelled, I don’t know what possessed me to do it but thankfully she liked it, I cupped my hand over her mouth, gripping her lower back with my free hand. She tightened right up around me, practically squealing under my hand, it pushed me over the edge, I felt myself twitch one last time, releasing at last, my movements sloppy.
“Y/N!” I groaned low, slowing as I let go of her mouth, she was whimpering softly as I moved. I held her against me, gently holding her frame, both of us panting, suddenly she started giggling.
“Oh it’s my first time… I don’t know what to do… bullshit!” She teased, I smirked a little, I did good then right?
“It was!” We both giggled, her hands holding my shoulders, her face nuzzled to my neck.
“Sooooo… us… that’s a thing right?” She asked seemingly shy now, giggling a little.
“Why of course, I’m pretty sure we’ve only scratched the surface on sinning.” We broke out into giggles, kissing softly, her hands stroking my hair, this was gonna he awesome.

NO offense, but

we talk about casual affair being a Throam Song™ but what about collar full???
like okay…. “show me your love, show me your love / before the world catches up” as in: “brendon i wanna have sex a lot before people find out we’re having this affair”
“cause there’s always time for second guesses i don’t wanna know” as in “i could second guess the fact that i’m having really gay feelings for you but i let’s not think about that”
“if you’re gonna be the death of me that’s how i wanna go” is kinda self-explanitory
also “gimme your love, but it’s not enough” as in “brendon is willing to have an affair with me but isn’t willing to leave shane & i’m pissed”
and ESPECIALLY: “memories that I’d blackout if you were mine / you’ve got a pocket full of reasons why you’re here tonight” is super vol. 2… as in “if you left shane for me, i’d forget any of this bad shit ever happened” and a pocket full of reasons why you’re here tonight..,,, ok
anyways start putting this song on ur throam playlists

anonymous asked:

don't you ever think that "girls girls boys" can be some kind of ryden song? i know that brendon says its about bisexuality but come ooon "never did i think that i would be caugth in the way you got me, push another girl aside and just give in" you've gotta save your reputation, they're close to finding out about your girlfriend but if you change your mind you know where i am you know where to find me cause i dont wanna save your reputation" "love is not a choice"

I 100% believe it could be Ryden while also ebing about bisexuality too. “Caught in the way you got me” this is SO talking about Ryan. It is after all speculated that Ryan fell for Brendon first. “Push another girl aside” I think this could be about Brendon telling Ryan he would leave whoever he was with at the time to be with him. Which is the same reason he says “you’ve gotta save your reputation” because Ryan did not want to go public in a homosexual reputation, but Brendon wasn’t willing to keep it private hence “ I don’t wanna save your reputation”

anonymous asked:

What are people saying about Ryan now?

I don’t want to start anything with anyone. There was a post going around that said Ryan (and Jon) basically stifled all of Brendon’s ideas, as a justification as to why he’s allowed to not include Dallon in anything, and that they basically treated him like a singing animal - that’s what was led to the split. Again, it is all Ryan’s fault.

They seem to have delightfully forgotten a lot of details though…

  • It was originally Ryan and Spencer’s band - Brendon just auditioned, therefore I don’t actually see what right he had to control a band that wasn’t technically his.
  • Ryan wrote most of the music because that was his ‘role’ in the same way that singing was Brendon’s ‘role’ - however on Pretty. Odd. they all decided to share their responsibilities and Brendon played multiple instruments on that album with Ryan’s encouragement. Brendon also wrote some of the songs on that album with Ryan’s blind faith in his ability. However, when Ryan decided that he wanted to sing HIS OWN SONGS; Brendon was not willing to compromise on that - he chose management’s side over Ryan’s and wanted to be the only voice on that record which caused conflict. This can be seen here (if you skip to about 21:19).
  • Ryan was the one that walked away and maybe he did leave Brendon in the lurch but from the evidence provided I would say that Brendon had every opportunity to tell Ryan if he felt that he was being pushed in a negative fashion. Thus, in my opinion it was actually Ryan being creatively oppressed by Brendon and how management wanted the dynamics of the band to remain the same which is why Ryan left. This is confirmed in ‘Where I Belong’ where Ryan states: ‘I know that I should have never left but I was tired of being buried. I rested my head on broken stones; in the cave that was my home.’

I’m not hating on Brendon here. He is a sweet guy at heart and he is extremely talented but Brendon made as many mistakes in this as Ryan did and I hate it when everybody unfairly decides that Ryan is a complete asshole whilst Brendon is innocent and blameless. Brendon is a human being; that means he has flaws and is capable of acting like an asshole.

There is more that I could say about this but I’m going to leave it there, darling anon. I hope that you’re having a magical [insert time of day here]. Xx