brendan oh

@ Hollywood, hire me. I fixed the new Mummy movie without even watching a trailer

Tom Cruise and Young Hot Blonde™ enter the crypt, Tom in the lead because he is the manly protector. Their flashlight beams eventually illuminate a sarcophagus carved in the likeness of a beautiful Princess. 

Tom Cruise approaches the sarcophagus, moves to open it. 

Young Hot Blonde™: Don’t do the thing.

Tom Cruise: I’m going to do the thing. *Shoves sarcophagus open*

They cough as dust fills the air. Just as it begins to clear, Brendan Frasier shoots upright, drawing his gun and immediately shooting Tom Cruise in the head.

“I thought I told Evy not to put me down for mummification,” he mutters as he looks at his surroundings. He is inexplicably not decomposed or mummified, just vaguely wrapped in Charmin. Glances at a now very dead Tom Cruise. “Oops.”

Young Hot Blonde™: How… how did this happen?

Brendan Frasier: Well, it’s a long story, I’ll have to start at the beginning.

Then they just replay the entirety of ‘The Mummy’ (1999).

After credits scene:

Young Hot Blonde™: That still doesn’t explain how you ended up alive in a sarcophagus in the year 2017.

Brendan Frasier: Oh, yeah, no fucking clue. 

I’d be lying if i said this wasn’t inspired by @theoanetflix

also I haven’t used any sort of  editing software in, like, four years so this wasn’t as good as it could have been

Remember when Ste found out brendan killed someone to protect him and he was upset Brendan lied about having a boyfriend XD  

B: “I killed someone. I bashed his head in”
S: “Yea, yea you killed someone but go back to that serious point you said”
B: “Vinny was my boyfriend???”
S: “ THE LIES! HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! YOU SAID I WAS YOUR FIRST!! ”

Too Young (Brendan Gallagher)

justapieceofsimstrash asked:

How about a Brendan Gallagher imagine? Maybe reader is his GF and she’s shorter than him & younger than him and he loves it? Thanks!!!

Word count: 1504

Warnings: There are a few mentions of alcohol and consumption of alcoholic beverages in this imagine. 

Author’s note: Honestly the gif just fits a certain part of this story perfectly omg

Originally posted by burakovsbae


The Montreal Canadiens liked to have fun.

Throughout the first three months of your relationship with Brendan Gallagher, you had found out all too well that hockey players and their wives/girlfriends were some of the craziest people you had ever met. It seemed like every night Brendan was invited out by Carey or P.K., even if it was just the boys hanging out at someone’s apartment. Somehow, much to your chagrin, the WAGs had found out your phone number, which meant that you were constantly getting texts asking you to go shopping or get coffee. Brendan swears that he didn’t give your number to any of the wives or girlfriends, but you always saw him smirk whenever your phone chimed and you groaned.

The leisure activity that the Canadiens liked to do the most, though, was go out for drinks. Every single weekend the team would either go out to a bar for drinks or they would gather at a teammate’s house for a BYOB (Bring your own booze) night. When the team went out, they almost always brought their wives and kids. They were fun nights, but there was only one problem.

You couldn’t drink.

Keep reading

Carey Price: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Brendan Gallagher: Yes

Carey Price: I was hula-hooping. Angela and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Brendan Gallagher: Oh my god.

Carey Price: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Brendan Gallagher: Why are you telling me all this?

Carey Price: Because no one will ever believe you.

Brendan Gallagher: You are a sick man.

  • Brendan: wait wait I thought your name was Sasha??
  • Alex: no let's not get into this right now...
  • Brendan: doesn't Alex mean Sasha??
  • Alex: In Russian yeah- but that's a different conversation
  • Brendan: Sasha Alexandrovich Galchenyuk?
  • Alex: ye-no no Alexander Alexandrovich Galchenyuk
  • Brendan: oh okay okay
  • Alex: Brendavich would sound cool
  • Brendan: Brendavich would yeah
  • Alex: Brendan Galchenyuk...yeah I mean maybe we'll become better friends in a couple years and I would consider that.
  • Brendan: cool.