So some quick info about this chapter is that you may be a bit confused, but just know if you go back and read the previous chapters you’ll see the time difference and amount of time I
Skip so this isn’t all just out of nowhere for Amira and Cameron and that this has been building up slowly over time.
I study myself in the mirror, trying to see if my diet is showing any results, but I see that my efforts to lose weight have gone to waste. I turn around and check myself out from the back. I got myself some red lingerie to surprise Cameron with, when and if he decides to show up. It’s silky and smooth, and so tiny you can practically see everything, which was exactly my intention when I bought it. I strike a pose and take a picture. I also was preparing to get a cute bathing suit soon. I was going to go shopping for one with Kiera and some new girl she’s bringing to tag along with us. Plus university was finally over and this was the last gathering I had to attend – Kiera was celebrating her birthday at a downtown club and the two hours we spent there was already too much. It was almost impossible to breathe in there so she decided try it again, but this time throw a beach party to kick off our spring break.
I didn’t tell Kiera about what happened last week with me and Cameron’s little pregnancy scare.
~1 week ago~
It was hard to put into words how I had felt for the past few weeks. Extreme fatigue and nausea had been keeping me sidelined. I felt off, almost as if there was something that was completely changed within me and I was just hoping it wasn’t what I’ve been thinking it is.
After I threw up I could feel Cameron rubbing my back and asking if I was okay. For a moment there was silence before Cameron left the room hastily once he returned he had his coat on while stretching out his arm hinting for me to put the one in his hand on. I was going in and out on our way to the car, but I figured where he was taking me.
When we arrived to the hospital he carried me in and sat me down in the waiting room and signed me in. They called me in and ran a few scans asked me a million questions, but my eyes grew big when the doctor asked if I was pregnant.
“No I don’t think so. I’ve been taking my pills faithfully so I don’t think that could be it.” I saw Cameron from the corner of my eye stare me down which I don’t know why.
“Well sometimes that does not always work and they aren’t one hundred percent accurate to prevent pregnancies.” I began to grow worried and there was silence in the room for a moment before Cameron’s voice filled the room.
“It’s not that bad if she is.” I bugged my eyes and looked at him like he lost his mind.
“Yes it is. I’m not ready for a child you’re not ready for a child.”
“How you gonna tell me I’m not ready? We have more than enough money to support them so why not?”
“Are you kidding me right now?! You know why.” The doctor interrupted before we continued our bickering.
“Well we don’t even know if she is pregnant we still have to give her a pregnancy test it was just a suggestion. So let’s go ahead and give you the test.” I nodded my head and I could tell Cameron was still heated about what just happened.
“Okay so I have good or bad news depending on how you two see the situation at hand, but you are not pregnant. The problem was that you may have encountered some type of food poisoning we aren’t sure what, but we can tell you it was around 1-2 weeks ago.”
“Poison! How? When? Where was you at?” Cameron started firing off questions, but I just ignored him trying to figure out my damn self where that could have happened.
“We are going to prescribe you some medicine to flush the rest out of your system because luckily it wasn’t severe enough to cause serious damage.”
On our way home Cameron was dead silent. I tried lightning the mood by turning the radio on, but he turned it right back off.
“What is your problem? Why are you mad?” He stayed silent. This nigga is starting to piss me off. He acts more immature than me even though he’s way older.
“Okay fine be that way then.”
“So you don’t wanna have my seed?” I could tell he was nervous to hear my response because I could see the grip he had on the wheel tighten and his jaw clench.
I giggled a little because I cannot believe he is so serious right now.
“Why you laughin’ I’m being serious and you over there cackling like shit is funny.”
“I’m laughing because you’re being ridiculous right now. Of course I want to have you big headed future babies, but baby I’m just so young and I want to enjoy some of my life too.” I pouted while reaching my hand out to rub his sculpted face. I guess after I said that it made him stop worrying because he became less tensed, but I could tell he was still upset about the situation.
I laid in bed and sent a text to Cameron asking when he was going to be home because I had plans to go shopping. I then opened up the twitter app and before I knew it my eyes were growing heavy the more I scrolled. Next thing I know I’m asleep. I wake up to the sound of Cameron pacing in front of the bed while on the phone. He notices that I’m up he looks at me while he’s talking on the phone making me wonder if he’s even paying any attention to what the other person is saying. I can see the look in his brown eyes and the little smirk forming on his face, as he tries to keep his voice deep and calm. I sat up in the bed, pulling the blanket over my half naked body.
He’s standing tall in front of the bed – he’s got one hand in the pocket of his expensive pants, his dress shirt tightening around his broad chest as he breathes in and out, buttons threatening to show his many tattoos splashed across his chest. His other hand is holding the phone – his index finger pressed into the back, as his deep voice fills out the room.
“Where are you going now?” I finally ask when he ended the call.
“I had a meeting with Ty, but he can’t make it.” He says, placing the phone on the table and walking towards the bed. He layed down next to me, pulling me in for a kiss – as his tongue starts playing with mine, his hand tries to pull the blanket off of my body, but I pulled it back, breaking the kiss.
“No,” I whined, “I’m not dressed.”
He smiled, mumbling a ‘so what’ as he pulled me in for another open-mouthed kiss – his kisses becoming more aggressive.
“You take off your clothes first,” I said, pouting, as he tears the blanket out of my grip and pulls me into his lap, making me straddle him.
I shove my face into his chest, hitting it lightly with my right hand, “asshole!”
“Well listen I need you to pack up some of your things and have it ready by tomorrow night.” He stated with a serious face
“Cause I planed a trip for us.” I was shocked this would be our first actual trip together as a couple.
“Oh my goodness babe thank you! Well what am I suppose to do about Kiera’s party it’s also tomorrow at the beach. That reminds me I need to get ready so I can go shopping for a new bathing suit.”
“Who you going with? Just you and Ki?” He asked
“Yup just us and some new girl she’s bringing along named Kayla or something.”
“I’m not completely sure I just know it might be Kayla Bernard.” After I said the last name he tensed up but quickly recovered when he saw that I noticed. I decided not to start assuming and cause an argument so I kept my mouth shut…for now.
“Alright babe well I’ll see you in a bit I’m going to get ready and head out.”
“Okay I’m leaving soon too Ty just texted me and let me know he’s free right now so I’ll see you later.” He says before rushing up and pecking my lips multiple times before slapping my thighs and leaving.
*1 hour later*
“Know something about wine?” I heard and when I looked up it was Jaire; I hadn’t seen this guy in what seems like forever. After purchasing my bathing suit and hanging out a bit with Kiera and Kayla I got annoyed after awhile feeling like the 3rd wheel so I made up an excuse and left and now I’m in Stater bros getting some groceries and I happened to end up in the wine section. Plus Cameron hasn’t been answering my calls. At the moment my mind is all puzzled and
I’m trying to put the pieces together because when I was out with Kiera and Kayla I happened to mention Cameron and that’s when thing went downhill.
It’s like that Kayla girl got all bitchy and started ignore me and I grew tired of it.
“Not much, but I can help,” I reply and come closer, trying to see what his dilemma was about.
“I saw you pick out that bottle in a second, so it’s safe to say you know more than me,” he looks at me, and I’m still smiling at him, so he quickly looks down at the bottles again. “I’m going to a dinner with my boss and I want to impress him, so I don’t know which one would be better.”
“I’d go for Chardonnay, you can’t go wrong with it,” I say without giving it much thought. Who doesn’t like Chardonnay?
He nods and puts the other bottle back on the shelf.
“Thanks a lot, I would’ve spent the next hour trying to decide.”
I nod and smile at him again. He’s very good looking, so it’s hard not to smile at him, but he don’t look better than my man.
“Since I’ve spared that hour, how about we get some coffee? And catch up.” he offers
“I want to thank you for helping me choose.” He adds on
I stand still for a second and fight my thoughts. Would it be wrong to go have a cup of coffee with Him? I know how Cameron can get, but he knows who he is and this is harmless. After all, he was someone who wanted to thank me for my help.
“Why not? I have some time to spare.”
At the cafe, I realize Jaire isn’t exactly as shy as I thought. He just doesn’t talk much. But when he talks, he has interesting things to say and he’s confident about them. We talk about our hometowns and the things we miss about them, and time goes by quickly as I sit there and talk to him then my mind start to wonder about Cameron and that girl and what if they know each other or worst. But the conversation suddenly stops and I find Jaire staring at me, half smirking, and I take a sip of my coffee, not knowing what else to do to stop him from staring.
“So, you came to the city a year and a half ago?”
I nod and I’m about to ask him about when he moved here, but he goes on.
“And what do you do when you’re not working?”
“Well, nothing much,” I find myself at a loss for words when I realize that I really don’t do anything except sit at home waiting for Cameron to grace me with his damned presence or occasionally work at the hair salon.
I take another big sip of my coffee as I try to come up with something to tell him.
“Well it’s getting late so I should probably head back now.” He nods and we say out goodbyes and I get in my car and head back to Cameron’s place. My mind still racing. I hate this I feel like all women suffer from overthinking it’s like a disease or some shit.
I get back to his place a few minutes later and I feel a sting of guilt and worry as soon as I walk through the door. What is wrong with me? This anxiety is killing me. I open the bottle of Rose as soon as I get into the kitchen and pour myself a large glass to get me through this guilt trip I sent myself on.
I keep drinking through the rest of the day as I do my little chores around the place and I don’t know if it’s the wine or something else that is causing me to become mad and guilty about this whole situation, but I feel more like a traitor the more I drink. I feel guilty about this so much that I almost call Cameron and tell him about the coffee but also ask and question him about this Kayla girl. I knew I shouldn’t have began drinking cause once that liquor is in my system I become emotional and bold as hell.
Wine helps my guilt turn into anger as time passes with no word from Cameron, again.
He calls a little after midnight, as if he sensed something was wrong, and I just so happen to be tipsy, sipping on the fifth glass of Rose that afternoon.
“Yes?” I answer coldly, not sure if I’m mad at myself or at him or at the both of us.
“Hey… What are you up to?” his voice sounds groggy and I realize he’s probably exhausted, which means he’s still out working his drug cartel,again.
“Drinking and going to bed. You?”
“Alone?” His voice sounds menacing and I get annoyed instantly. Where has he been lately and why has he been ignoring me? And why does it seem like him and that Kayla girl know each other? How dare he get angry at me? Even if I were cheating, he had it coming. Leaving me alone all the time…I feel guilty, though. It’s as though he knows I’ve done something I shouldn’t have. He can’t possibly know, but it’s like he does. Maybe he knows me better than I think he does.
“Yes, alone,” I reply, not wanting to start a fight.
“Why are you calling?”
“I haven’t called in a while so I wanted to check up on you.”
I don’t say anything, because I have nothing to say to his fake concern. He was just checking to see if I was fucking somebody else since he wasn’t fucking me. I hear him gulp, and I realize he’s nervous again. What’s he nervous about? Is he the one seeing someone else? That hoe Kayla. Is that’s why he’s nervous to talk to me.
“Check up on me? Or make sure I’m not fucking around?”
“Both, to be honest.”
“Well, I’m alone and I’m about to finish this glass of wine and go to bed. Did you need something else?”
“Why are you being like this?”
“You know, bitchy.“ At this point I just snapped. He hasn’t been here as often anymore and this was his place. Plus this wine I ain’t helping the situation either.
"Why don’t you come over and stop wasting my time with all this phone call bullshit? I’m sick and tired of being in this place by myself all the time. Get your shit together and show the fuck up, I don’t need you checking up on me, I’m not fucking anyone but I sure wish I was,” I spit all this out in anger and I feel that I’ve made a mistake as soon as I do that, but there’s no going back.
Why was I this angry at him? He didn’t do anything wrong, and maybe that was the problem. He didn’t do anything at all. He wasn’t there, he rarely called when he was on his business meetings for new product. He was always tired and grumpy and God I just wish he’d quit this drug shit already.
"Why do you feel that way?” he finally asks.
“I went out for coffee today with Jaire and it had me thinking that we never do small stuff like that anymore.” I could hear him breathing really heavy over the phone after I said his name. This liquor is really making me tell on myself.
“I’m busy, I told you,” he mutters.
“That doesn’t mean you can start fucking around. I thought you were better than that.”
“I didn’t fuck anyone, but I sure as hell wish I did sometimes. Maybe someone who actually payed me attention, and not just when they decide to show up at home.” I mutter right back at him and hang up. The fight could go on and on and I’m so tired of the fight I was having with myself the entire day. I don’t want to fight with him, too. I feel guilty about what I said to him. He had my attention the first time I saw him, whether I’d like to admit that or not. I would have dated him anyway. But he didn’t have to know that. I know he planned for us to go on this trip tomorrow but I knew it was cause he could feel that I was starting to grow irritated with him not being around as much.
I spill the rest of my drink down the sink and wash the glass, deciding I shouldn’t drink and be on my phone ever again. I’d just get myself into trouble with Cameron, and he was the one paying for everything I had and right now, he was one of my only friends my best friend at that. I wash my face with cold water, hoping it would sober me up a little so that I can go to sleep right away and stop myself from overthinking things again. I get into bed and pull the covers up, hoping to fall asleep right away, but a loud bang stirs me up.
There’s a loud bang again and I run over to the door. I know it’s him and I know he’s mad. I can’t believe he drove all the way here in the middle of the night just to yell at me. He must be pissed. I did hang up on him, though. And I admitted to going out for a drink with someone else.
I take a deep breath before opening the door, scared to face his anger.
Once again, he’s not wearing a suit. He usually looks so groomed and polished, but not tonight. He looks upset and I mentally prepare myself for getting a lecture on being a bitch.
“What’s your problem?” he mutters and walks right past me into the hallway, brushing against my shoulder. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I close the door behind him and follow him inside. He stops in the middle of the living room and he turns around to face me, looking mad as hell and I know I’m about to get what’s coming to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he kicked me out of the house.
“I don’t know.”
“Did something happen?” he asks in a low voice and he manages to sound concerned.
“No, no,” I shake my head and take a step closer, content after hearing him talking calmly. Maybe I didn’t fuck everything up.
“Are you okay?”
“Then why the fuck are you acting out? I told you I was tired! I’m busy, I’m fucking working, Jesus Christ, woman! You don’t get to call me and fuck my night up because you’re drunk and bored! I’m tired and I’m busy, I can’t get any fucking sleep and the last thing I need is for you to be getting on my nerves right now. Stop with the bullshit, I mean it.”
I nod silently, not knowing what to say. He was somewhat right.
I’m sorry,” I say, in lack of an excuse.
Will he say it’s okay? Or will he shout? He just keeps staring at me, his chest moving up and down as he calms himself down and I know he’s probably cursing me out on the inside, but he’s not saying a word to me. Will he say anything?
“Who’s the guy?”
I look at his face as he asks that and I see his jaw clenching. He’s really mad about this. His eyes stare right through me and if looks could kill, I’d be dead right now.
“I helped him choose a bottle of wine at the store so he asked me out for a coffee, that’s it,” I look at his mouth as I talk instead of at his eyes, scared to see him look at me with disgust.
“Coffee, huh?” he takes a step towards me and looks at me menacingly. “Was that all it was?”
“Yes, I swear.”
“Are you lying to me?”
“If I were lying, I wouldn’t tell you about him at all,” I look at him without blinking as I hope it shows him I’m being honest. He doesn’t break eye contact and nods at me slowly.
“Why did you accept his offer?” I shrugged my shoulders in response.
"I guess because I knew him and we were just catching up.”
He was never this upset. He would get rude sometimes, but he’d never yell. He’d tell me to fuck off in such a calm and sweet tone that I wouldn’t even know if he was joking or not. Now I’m sure he’s not joking as I see him gritting his teeth, trying to calm himself down, but to no avail.
Do you want to fuck this guy, do you want his attention, what is it with this fucking guy?”
The last question isn’t a rhetorical one, and he expects an answer, but I’m too scared to even look at him, let alone speak. He is right about everything, and I know it, but I have nothing to say for myself. I can’t tell him I’m acting like this because I care about him and I miss him and I want more from him.
“Answer me right now,” he takes another step forward and raises his hand so suddenly that it makes me flinch because, for a second, I think he’s trying to slap me. He stiffens as soon as he sees me do that. “Do you think I’m going to hit you?”
“N-no,” I stutter, not even convincing myself. His face is red with anger, his eyes are bulging out and I’ve never seen him this mad, but his expression changes in a second as he reaches for my face and I close my eyes, preparing myself for getting slapped. Instead, he cups my cheek with his warm hand and pulls my face in closer.
He places a kiss on my temple unexpectedly and I feel his breath on my face, his lips trembling against my skin. He’s mad at me, but he’d never hurt me, I know that. I try to tell him that I know it, but words don’t come out of my mouth. I break down instead. Tears roll down my cheeks and I try to take a deep breath in order to stop them, but as soon as I feel myself crying, I can’t stop it. I sob loudly and cover my mouth with my hands, instantly regretting doing this in front of him. He told me he hated girls who nagged him, and I did that. He hated neediness, and I was needy. He hated when women cried, and here I am, bawling my eyes out. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a hug and we stay like that for a while.
“I’m sorry,” I look into his eyes. “I would never cross that line with anyone, let alone you.”
After hearing that, he leans down and cups my face in his hands, pulling me in closer for a long, warm kiss. “I should have been around more,” he whispers in between two long sloppy kisses and I smile, happy about the attention I’m finally getting. I’m happy that the fighting is over and that he’s here with me, kissing me without playing the daddy role, kissing me like he meant it. “You’ll get your attention tonight, don’t worry about that, baby.”
With that, he places me on the bed and stands up again, looking down at me. I reach to take off his sweatpants, but he swats my hand away gently.
“Tsk,tsk,” he shakes his head at me and runs his thumb over my lower lip, all the while he smiles warmly. “Tonight’s all about you.”
He pushes me onto the bed and I decide to let him do whatever he wants. I’m too happy to complain about anything as my head spins because of the overflow of emotion. He towers over me, kissing me once again and I kiss him back just as eagerly, reaching for his soft hair and his shoulder.
“Daddy-” I start talking dirty, but he stops me by placing a finger over my mouth.
“No daddy tonight, okay? Just for tonight, we’re you and me.”
I feel my heart pounding so hard as he says that. He’s never been like this with and I’m not sure why he’s being like this after our fight, but I happily accept it. He was supposed to be mad at me, but here he is, trying to make me feel better and by the end of the night I sure did feel much better.
Simple days! If anyone has any suggestions or local tips for seeing geological landmarks, urban landscapes or even beautiful village life in Scandinavia or Eastern Europe? I have some projects in mind and would appreciate your recommendations! ✌️✌️