breakups and healings

I think the moment you acknowledge that you actually miss someone is the same moment that you can begin to move on. You have got to quit acting like you’re fine and just give yourself a chance to heal. You owe it to yourself
—  Quit trying to make him miss you back though
I am starting to forget the things I used to know by heart. Like the sound of your voice, the feel of your hand in mine, every detail of your face. I don’t remember what it felt to be held by you or to sleep in your arms. I don’t remember details that used to mean the world to me and I’m not even sad about it. They were right when they told me that time would heal and that one day it wouldn’t matter anymore. I didn’t realize that day would be so soon though.
—  How I chose to love myself instead of you #7 -Jess Amelia
My Break Up Playlist

Hi everyone!

Sorry for being a little absent.

    I’ve been getting a few questions about how I’ve dealt with break ups. Some are a lot easier than others. A big part of how I deal with them is music. I think I will make a masterpost later about how to deal with breakups (and heal/celebrate quicker) if you all want it(:

    These are songs straight from the playlist off of my iPhone. Not all of the songs deal with relationships, but I find them helpful. Some might make you more emotional, while others might make you feel more powerful/cold/confident in the breakup. I will label them with “E” or “P”. I want all of you to keep in mind that crying after a breakup does not make you weak. Its just you getting your emotions out and thats perfectly fine and healthy. I’m the type of person to cry all day over someone, and feel nearly nothing after that. 

No matter how you deal with it, the goal is to recover quickly.


1) The Wire - Haim  (P)

2) My Song 5 - Haim (P)

3) Next One - Bahja Rodriguez (P)

4) Damn You - Lana Del Rey (E)

5) The Birds Part 1 - The Weeknd (P or E)

6) The Birds Part 2 - The Weeknd (E)

7) Gone - The Weeknd (P or E)

8) Echos of Silence - The Weeknd (E)

9) Infinity Guitars - Sleigh Bells (P)

10) Get Outta My Way - Kylie Minogue (P)

11) Twenty Eight - The Weeknd (E)

12) Break My Fall - Lana Del Rey (P)

13)  Shake it Out (The Weeknd Remix) - Florence And The Machine (E)

14) FADE - CRIM3S (P)

15) Love Song -1-2  - The Internet (E)

16) The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez(E)

17) Trouble - Taylor Swift (P)

18) Best Mistake - Ariana Grande (E)

19) The Worst - Jhene Aiko (E)

20) Same Old Love - Selena Gomez (P)

21) Never Gonna Change - BROODS (P or E)

22) Lies (Acoustic) - Marina and the Diamonds (E)

23) Power & Control - Marina and the Diamonds (P)

24) Not About Love - Fionna Apple (P)

25) Web of Me - The Internet (P)

26) Marvin’s Room (Can’t Do Better) - Jojo (E)

27) Smile - Lily Allen (P)

28) Bad Day - Justine Bieber (E)

29) Goodbye - Who is Fancy (E or P)

30) Cake - Melanie Martinez (P)

31) Numbers - FKA Twigs (P)

32) Can’t treat me that way - Kate Earl (P)

33) Niggas - Kehlani (P)

Hope some of you find this useful!!<3

-xoxo,ROAHB<3

Love can heal

This drabble was requested by jyebrewkswifey and it was number 4 “I want you back.”, 6 “Do you trust me?” and 20 “Don’t say that.” of my prompt with Stiles ❤

Well, thank you for the request, angel! ❤ Sorry for taking so long. Hope you like it. :) 

Note: English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistake. And I took the current plot of S5 so it might have some spoiler (? dunno)

You woke up with ten calls from Stiles blinking in your phone and the rain hitting the window. An awful weather to match your mood. Three days had passed since your breakup and you were getting used to ignore him, even though your heart shattered a bit every time. 

The reason of your fight was the way he ommited Donavan’s death to you and how Theo had to tell you that. Of course you didn’t went for the Quimera’s version of the story, and you knew your boyfrien wouldn’t do that out of spite, but what pissed you off was knowing the fact from other person. 

You were up changing your clothes when you heard someone knocking downstairs. “Dad?” You sneaked your head into the corridor but no one answered. “I’ll see who it is then.” You murmured. 

As soon as you opened the door, you regretted it. You wouldn’t be able to resist that. In fact, you were already forgetting why you were angry. Stiles was standing in your hall, soaked, with dark bags under his eyes and a devasted look. You felt so sorry you wanted to hug him until he got better. 

“I want you back.” Stiles said when he saw you. His voice was almost fading. “Please, [Y/N].” 

You didn’t know what to do. Your mind was yelling you to kiss him, but you knew you couldn’t. Not yet. “Come in. I’ll get you a towel.” 

“I don’t want any towel. I want to talk to you.” He said, stepping inside your house. 

“Stiles,” You took a deep breath. “You’ll freeze. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” You left him without expecting an answer and when you came back he was in the same exact spot, with the same fragile face that smashed what remained of your heart. 

“Let me explain everything to you.” He asked you, covering himself with that piece of cloth that you wished it was you. 

“Okay.” You said and he looked a little more relieved. “I’ll hear whatever you have to say.” 

“Do you trust me?” He rubbed his hands, looking to the floor. 

“I don’t know yet.” He looked at you again like you’d just slapped his face and then he closed his eyes. 

“I’m not sure of what Theo told you, but what I did, I-” He put his weight to his other leg and opened his eyes again. You knew he was nervous. “I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t know what I was doing and when I saw… When I saw him, I-” 

“Stiles,” You interrupted him. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose, okay? I didn’t believe in that monster even for a second.” You told him softly. 

“What?” He frowned. “But you don’t get it. I’m still as monster as he is.” 

“Don’t say that.” You took a step toward him. “I’m certain you were defending yourself. It’s not the same as murder, Stiles. I believe in you.” He took your hand. “What I couldn’t- What I can’t  get is why you thought I wouldn’t understand it. I would love you even if you were a serial killer.” You tried to make a joke to break the tension, but you weren’t good at it. “You just had to tell me where the bodies were and I would hide them with you.”

He gave you a little smile that disappeared as soon as it came. “I was so stressed, so done with everything, so scared…” His eyes were filled with tears. “I’m really sorry for not telling you. Every time thought about doing that, Donavan’s face appeared in my mind and I was scared again. The feeling wouldn’t go away.”

You hugged him tight, wishing you had the werewolf’s healing power to take all the pain from his heart and then you felt a tear running through your face. “I’m really sorry for not being by your side all these days. It must had been so hard for you, my love. I’m so sorry.”

“Do you love me still?” He separated you so he could see your face. His eyes were begging for an answer and you noticed he was almost falling apart, not able to handle anything anymore.

“I’ll always love you, Stiles.” 

He smiled genuinely glad, his eyes sparked and he seemed more lighter. You couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him passionately, involving his neck with your arms. Suddenly you noticed that you didn’t need to be werewolf to take his pain away, you just needed love.

I’m way better than i was at the beginning of the year. I still think about Sean, but only occasionally… when i see something that reminds me of things we did or went to etc.

I’m getting better and i’m almost there,just need a little more time to finally move on!!! but I’m happy again, and loving myself!

Finding Me

I used to believe that he broke up with me because something was wrong with me. Because I was unloveable, unbearable, a terrible girlfriend. BUT NOW, I believe it’s because he doesn’t know my value. He can’t comprehend how much I would’ve offered him if he’d given me the chance. I’m too good for him. He broke up with me because he couldn’t see my worth. That’s OK honey. Someone else will (:

I think I’m doing better in terms of you and me, or rather the lack thereof. Seeing you enjoy life doesn’t hurt anymore. You deserve it. I don’t think about you as often. My head feels clearer most days. I’m not bitter or sad or anything really. I’m just a cleaner slate.

Even so though, I still have these little moments that catch me off guard. Like when your mom told me that you were adopting two dogs that she found who desperately needed new homes, even though we both know that you already have 6 cats and 2 dogs and you can’t even feed yourself some days. I guess somewhere in there you’re still softhearted. It’s those moments that are hard, watching you be kindhearted and sweet. Watching you move on is easy. Seeing you be the person you used to be with me is hard.

First Step in Healing

A few days ago a relationship of mine ended. This relationship was created from the funeral pyre of another, and it was a horrible mistake. There was not an outright cheating event, only an emotional affair, but that doesn’t change that I left a man I truly loved for a liar who made false promises.


My advice if this happens is to look at the positives: I never slept with him. We were together less than a year. I am not evil for believing in promises and trusting someone. I have learned. My previous relationship needed to be changed to work, and my most recent ex was very bad for me and did not give me the things I needed.


Remind yourself you are not evil. Remind yourself you can cope. Remind yourself you are fine as you are.

Unfinished poem

it’s hard to change my perspective of what is real after 3 long years
I wanted to believe that once we talked everything would be fixed
I try to remind myself that this is normal
I’m not the only one going through this
but I see you and my roots begin to tumble
after most thunder storm
I found myself more light & water to grow
but once you hit me like a hurricane
it wasn’t that simple
now I have to give myself time
just like my garden takes time to reopen
my roots will be reborn & I will bloom
But in this time I have to allow myself to soak in the leftover rain

Fuck

How could you be so harsh
To just rip out a heart
And tear it all apart
How can you just wake up
And throw it all away
I bent over backwards for you
Every single day
I know I don’t love you
I know that I’ve moved on
But damn what the fuck man
That hole has never healed
I try to let people in
But nothing is ever real
I hate that you still have a place
Even if it’s hell
I wish you’d be completely gone
Everything else would be so swell
I’ll take it like atlas tho
My shoulders are pretty broad
It all leads back to me I suppose
I’ll take it on the chin
I know I’ve made my mistakes
The biggest was letting you in

-Jacker Limen