breakups and healings

I can feel it coming,
like a wind storm at full speed.
I was worthlessly running,
as it caught up to me.
It soaked me with its rain,
and caused me to shiver.
Now all I feel is pain,
and vodka in my liver.
I’m left with a sadness;
a never ending depression.
My life is now a mess,
and it hasn’t taught me a lesson.
—  A tornado is the visual equivalent of a relapse. (c.g.)
My father used to tell me
“Young love will never last.”
And now that I’m lying here
Trying to mend my heart
And fix the cracks in my bones
That he left me with,
I can finally say
I hope he is right.
I cannot go another day
With this void that you left me.
—  my heart doesn’t heal, still
Is it me? Am I crazy?

He wants you to feel crazy and out of control because it gives him control - and that makes him psychotic. If his friends have been told a different story and they believe it, fuck em. They’ll see the light sooner or later because manipulative people manipulate. And once people are burned, they realize.

There is this cycle of being made to feel like the most amazing person in the entire world, followed by being utterly destroyed by them, and then them treating you like you are out of your mind for reacting like any normal person would. You are left with your emotional outbursts, feelings of heartache and betrayal, and absolutely confusion over how this could even happen. And they behave like the person that has been broken.

See it for what it is. If you are asking yourself whether you are the manipulator, chances are that you’re not - manipulative people do not question themselves.

Yes!! Which are you?

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Your feelings deserve respect

You do not need to cheapen your feelings by explaining them repeatedly to someone who refuses to understand you. There is no winning with someone who is determined to play obtuse with you, until you either give in or say something that they can hold against you. If you find yourself in this situation over and over again, and you feel like you are running around in circles to the point where you are so confused about what the point was in the first place, exit from the dialogue. Leave. Do not participate in this circus they have created.

You’re not giving up on someone who cannot engage with you at a respectful level. Anyone who denies your experience and your reality by refusing to accept or acknowledge your feelings and thoughts is not worth your time.