breaking-up-is-hard-to-do

Hey Singles!

Happy Monday!!

Breaking up is always hard to do…. but what you don’t want to do Singles is make the other person a villain.

When a relationship ends you’re filled with so many emotions. I’m right in the middle of this predicament currently. I’m sad, angry, spiteful, selfish, happy and a mixture of other emotions. In the midst of that its natural to want to take it out on the other person. Make them feel the way you feel.

Don’t go there Singles! I haven’t and I won’t. What’s important for me is regardless of how things ended the love is still there. Besides you can’t claim to have loved someone then make them out to be this evil person. If you have the capacity to do that, then you weren’t in love. During this breakup I feel all these emotions but I won’t make him anything less than the king he is in my eyes and the eyes of others.

After every relationship I’m always asking myself ‘what did I learn from this?’ ‘How will I walk away being a better woman?’ Instead of trying to make the other person the villain, how can you be a better person from this relationship?

Everyday I have to remind myself that I learned something important from this relationship that will be with me forever. And it’s ok to no be ok sometimes. Just don’t project those feelings onto the other person. Learn, heal and grow.

Peace

I miss you,

And not in a “it’s one in the morning, I’m so lonely, looking through old pictures” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “my friends are all laughing, and so am I, but somehow you still haven’t left my mind” kind of way.

I miss you,

And not in a “someone asked me how you were today and I realized I didn’t know the answer” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “nobody has brought you up in months, but I still tell stories about you” kind of way.

I miss you,

And not in a “it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m alone” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “you did well on a test and I want to be the first person you tell” kind of way.

I miss you. I don’t just miss the idea of you. I miss you.

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #59 // “breaking up is hard to do”
Leaving is Hard to Do - Jim Kirk

Summary: drinkin’ while you’re in love with jim but are too scared to tell him lest it destroy your friendship. 

Word count: 2,361

Warnings: language, alcohol

A/N: isn’t the title funny? it’s a play on “breaking up is hard to do” fjgkdjfhg i love myself. this is slightly sad but i love it for some reason. i think i just love jim so i keep writing him and literally no one else. ENJOY IT AND LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!


You didn’t understand Jim’s flirting technique at all but, on the contrary, you greatly understood how he managed the success rate he did. You attributed it to the “love is blind” cliche— only edited.

“Lust is deaf,” you called it.

He would put his foot in his mouth repeatedly as he spoke to anyone he was attracted to— he would rattle off ridiculous inquiries you could recall being the audience to during your years at the Academy.

Of course, those questions came from eighteen year-old boys with inexplicably high confidence levels that verged on total narcissism and inexplicably low sensitivity levels that verged on sociopathy.

In Jim’s case, however, the questions would be asked with such little interest it was as if he was reading the same tired script printed onto the walls of his scotch glass.

It didn’t matter what Jim said, though. After all, who could resist his unbelievably electric blue eyes and unnecessarily bright smile that appeared to be illuminated by starlight?

He stood with his side leant against the edge of the bar counter, his elbow resting atop the presumably sticky surface— it made you feel bad for his worn grey leather jacket that was probably bearing the brunt of the stickiness. His eyes were narrowed by the magnitude of his close-lipped smile. He brought the rim of his glass to his lips and glanced at you from the corner of his eye.

You just snorted and sat back against the booth you occupied.

Your fingertip swirled patterns against the table as you heard the leather bench across from you squeak with newly added weight. Without looking up, you shook your head. “Not interested.”

“Neither am I, darlin’.”

Keep reading

I’ve been trying to quit smoking and I do really great until someone says your name and then I go out and smoke a whole pack in three hours.
Last time we spoke, two weeks ago, I told you whatever we were, it wasn’t working, and you told me you were blocking my number because we always end and you were sick of being the one fucked up about it.
I laughed about that later when I finished crying. To imply that you were the only upset one feels like an insult to all the days I wasted trying to forget your face.
My mom told me she thought I did the right thing, but she still understood my sadness and consoled me while I cried and we watched the golden girls.
We’ve done that before, when you left me five years ago. I didn’t eat for a week until she told me that if I didn’t eat that day she was putting me in the hospital.
I choked down toast and wanted to vomit every single time I thought of you and the way you looked at me and lied to me about the reason you were leaving.
Even though we’ve loved each other since then, I still want to throw up now, half a decade later, when I think about that summer without you.
I attempted to drown your memory in cheap vodka and I tried to burn you away with cigarettes and weed but your name was already etched into my veins.
I saw a psychiatrist that summer. He asked what I wanted and I said I wanted to eat again. I wanted my hands to stop trembling and I wanted to feel something other than sad.
I’ve heard that if you really love someone, you never truly stop.
I don’t know if that’s true, but I know that with every beat of my heart, a part of me aches for you even now.
I wanted this to say something that I don’t know how to say directly to you, but the things I think translate best when left in my head.
I’m sorry I can’t find the words.
I leave before I am left now
And I don’t think my heart could handle being left by you again.
I’m taking the easy way out and I hope that years from now you’ll think of me and smile instead of grimace over the bitter taste I left in your mouth.
—  Texts I’ll never send, no. 1
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Story by: hoffkk

Request by: anonymous

Prompt: Hello! I am obsessed about Snowbarry nowadays. I imagined a nice scene i hope you write something about it. Here is the thing; Caitlin amd Ronnie are still engaged. Caitlin decides to make an break up conversation and Barry listens them.

Characters: Caitlin Snow, Ronnie Raymond, Barry Allen

Pairings: Snowstorm, Snowbarry

Notes: I do not own these characters or anything DC related.  Sorry for any errors, grammatical or otherwise.  Feedback is always welcome, preferably in my inbox.  Thanks! ;)

*********

It had been four weeks. Four weeks since Ronnie came back into Caitlin’s life, yet again, to help Barry defeat the Reverse Flash. This time it was different.  This time he stayed.

Ronnie had come over Caitlin’s that night, and they had had a long talk.  At the end of it, the two of them decided to give things another shot. However, they had also decided to take things slow.  They were a couple again, but not an engaged couple.  Though Caitlin had agreed to wear her engagement ring again, but this time on a chain around her neck.

So, for the past four weeks, Caitlin and Ronnie had been dating again and having the occasional make-out session.  Nothing more than that.  Joe and Barry had been gracious enough to let him stay in Iris’ old room.  Iris wasn’t living with Eddie anymore, not since their break-up, but insisting that she needed space away from all of the men in her life, Iris got a place of her own and seemed to be doing okay.  Caitlin was glad Ronnie had somewhere to stay.  She loved Ronnie, but there were two things that she swore she would never do before marriage: live with a guy and have sex. Maybe she was being old fashioned, but there was just something pure and romantic about it, about having a guy who was willing to wait for her.

At first, it was literally a dream come true.  There were so many times when Caitlin had wished and dreamed that Ronnie would come back to her, and now she finally had him.  However, as the days passed, and they attempted to get back into their normal rhythm, a nagging feeling pulled at her.  Things were the same, yet so different between them. Caitlin couldn’t help but question her feelings.  She knew that she loved Ronnie, but was she still in love with him?  If you asked before Ronnie reappeared she would have said yes, but now…after everything she has been through with Team Flash and Barry

Working at a computer in the lab, Caitlin shook her head.  If her feelings have changed for Ronnie that doesn’t mean Barry is the reason.  After all, they have been through a lot since the explosion, with his coming and going, and dealing with his new powers.  It’s not like Caitlin thought things would be exactly the same between them; that they could just pick up where they left off.  She expected things to be different, but… how do you know if things are too different?  How does she know if her feelings really have changed?

Caitlin was lost in thought as she sat and waited for a trace analysis to finish on the monitor in front of her.  Biting her nails, she thought back to a conversation she had with Felicity not too long ago about her break-up with Ray.  Felicity had told her “I thought I wanted to be with Ray, but the truth was my heart chose Oliver long before I even realized it.  It’s kind of funny really, we think we don’t know what we want, but in reality the decision has already been made.  You know, I think all of our decisions are made instantly…what takes time is realizing what the decision is and letting ourselves have it.  To do that, we have to be honest with ourselves.  I had to be honest with myself…”

Those words really resonated with Caitlin.  She bit her lip as she mulled them over, when suddenly a deep yet boyish voice broke her from her thoughts.  "Hey, Cait, you okay?“

Caitlin jumped in her chair. "Other than you giving me a heart attack, I’m fine.” She claimed with a hand over her heart.

“Sorry about that,” Barry gave a sheepish smile before continuing on, “Seriously though, you were doing that lip biting thing you do when you get nervous…you sure everything’s alright?”

Caitlin waved him off. “It’s nothing…this trace analysis is just taking too long.”

“Okay…” Barry said uncertainly.  "So, no news then on the latest meta?“

"Not on my end, but Cisco may have something.  He is running some sort of test in the experiment lab down the hall.”

“I’ll go check in with him then.  Wanna come?”  Barry offered.

“Thanks, but I wanna be here when the results come in.  The sooner we know what we’re dealing with the better.”

“Right,” Barry nodded. “I’ll let you know what Cisco finds before I leave.”

“Okay,” she smiled. “And Barry?  Make sure Cisco isn’t doing anything unnecessary.”

“You mean stupid?”

“I mean unsafe.”

He chuckled, but nodded. “Duly noted.” Turning to leave, he walked back across the room and made it to the door before calling over his shoulder “You really gotta let that boomerang thing go, Cait!”

“Not a chance.” She answered with eyes focused on a second computer as she started messing with Felicity’s facial recognition program, but Barry had already made his exit and someone else had entered.

“I didn’t even say anything, yet…” Ronnie said, humoring his girlfriend.  Ugh, girlfriend. he inwardly groaned.  He desperately wanted to call her what she should be: his fiancée and eventually wife. He hated what happened to them, but he respected her need to take things slowly now that he is here to stay.  It has been a little over a month so far, and he was hoping to reevaluate their relationship.

‘Sorry, that was meant for Barry.“ She smiled at Ronnie, taking in his familiar smile and sexy eyes that used to make her melt.  Now?  Not so much. I mean he was still gorgeous, but his looks just didn’t seem to have the same effect on her as they used to. Weird.  "So, what brings you to STAR Labs?”

“You.”  He affirmed, smiling brighter before leaning in for a kiss.

Caitlin expected a quick peck, but got much more as his tongue glided into her mouth, deepening the kiss.

As she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of his lips on hers, she couldn’t help but mentally picture her kiss with “Fake Barry” and wonder if Barry actually kissed that well. When Caitlin realized where her mind went, she immediately pulled out of the kiss.

Ronnie’s hand dropped from her hair and his eyes popped open as he felt her hand push against his chest. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just…I think we better not get carried away.  This isn’t the place for that.”

“Right. Sorry.  Sometimes I just can’t help myself around you.”  He gave another one of his award-winning smiles.

Caitlin just smiled at him, pushing away the guilt.

“So, do you have a minute?  I was hoping we could talk…about us.”  Ronnie asked seriously.

“Uh,” Caitlin glanced quickly at the computer still running her trace analysis. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”

“It’s been a month now…and don’t get me wrong, I love dating you, Cait, but I want more.  It’s kind of why I proposed the first time.  I know things have happened since then, and we had to wait to get married, but I don’t wanna wait anymore…not when we don’t have to.  Life is too short for that.  We know that better than ever now.”  Ronnie grabbed Caitlin’s hand, pulling her around the desk as he spoke.  Now, standing face-to-face and grabbing both of her hands in his, he looked into her eyes deeply.  "Caitlin Snow please agree to marry me again?“

Caitlin was shocked. Her eyes grew three times their normal size and she was speechless.

*****

After several failed attempts, Cisco got what he needed from the experiment…a lead.  Cisco began cleaning up his supplies as Barry headed back down the hall towards the room Caitlin was in.  He needed to fill her in like he promised he would.  Excited, he ran (at a normal pace) until he somehow stumbled over his own two feet.  Barry stopped in front of the half open door as he righted himself, then bent to tie the laces that had come undone on his navy blue converse shoe, when suddenly, he paused, eyes bulging, as he overheard Ronnie talking to Caitlin. 

 ” I don’t wanna wait anymore…not when we don’t have to.  Life is too short for that.  We know that better than ever now…Caitlin Snow please agree to marry me again?“ 

 He figured this would happen eventually. Sharing his home with Ronnie, Barry could tell he wasn’t happy about the downgrade in their relationship, that he wanted more.  Therefore, Barry knew it was only a matter of time before Ronnie went there again, taking matters into his own hands.  So why did his heart tighten at Ronnie’s words?  And why was he frozen in place outside the door, waiting for her answer as intently as Ronnie was?

*****

"Ronnie, I…” Caitlin looked to the floor, then back to the man in front of her.  "I don’t know if I am ready for that…“

"Look, I just want to be engaged again.  We don’t have to get married right away…not if you don’t want to.  I just wanna be closer to you, Cait.”

Caitlin bit her lip. She wasn’t ready for this conversation. She didn’t know what to say, then suddenly Felicity’s words entered her mind: we have to be honest with ourselves.  She took a deep breath.  Felicity was right.  Caitlin had to be honest with herself.  It wasn’t really a question anymore.  It hadn’t been for a while.  She was not in love with Ronnie, not anymore.

“You’re right. Things have happened since you first proposed, and if there is anything I have learned from those things it is that life is too short to waste.”  Ronnie smiled not sensing where Caitlin was headed with her thought, making tears pool in the corner of her eyes.  "That’s why I don’t want you to waste any more time on me.“

She gave his hands a squeeze as his smile fell.  "I don’t understand…”

“Things are different now.  What we’ve been through has changed us, and I ’m not just talking about you and your powers. I have changed too.  I’m not just a scientist anymore. I’m a crime fighter. I use science to put away bad guys, and…I like it.”  She couldn’t help but laugh at herself.  She never would have thought that her life would be what it was now.  "My point is… I’m not the same girl you fell in love with.“

"And I’m not the same guy that you fell in love with.”  Ronnie added.

Caitlin looked away as tears ran down her cheeks.  "I don’t wanna hurt you, Ronnie.  I still love you, it’s just…I don’t think that that’s enough anymore.  I mean, I can handle change, but… things have just changed too much between us.  You know I’m right…“

Ronnie was holding back tears himself.  He laughed half-heartedly as he willed them away.  "You always are.  It’s one of the many things that I love about you.”  He answered as he moved to wipe her tears away with his thumbs.

“I’m so sorry, Ronnie.”  She said, throwing her arms around his neck, giving him what they both knew was a goodbye hug.  They held each other tight as a single tear slid down his cheek.

“Don’t be.  It’s for the best.”  He whispered before pulling back.  "I just want you to be happy, Cait.  I love you.  I always will.“ he stated as he gripped her upper arms with his hands, pulling her back to look into her eyes.

One of her hands grabbed his arm, while the other palmed the side of his face.  "Me too.  You never forget your first.” She smiled sadly and kissed his cheek.

“Well, I think it’s best that I get out of town for a while…”  Ronnie declared, catching Caitlin off guard as he moved to grasp both her hands with his once more.

“What? You don’t have to…”

“Yes.  I do.  You were the only real thing keeping me in Central City anyway, and now… I think I just need to explore this new me and make a fresh start for myself.”

“Your right,” Caitlin acquiesced, “You should go…and you should take this with you.” She told him as she unclasped the chain from around her neck, placing it and the ring inside the palm of his hand.

“No, Cait, I bought it for you.”

“No, you bought it for the woman you love, and someday you’ll love again, and that girl will deserve this ring.”

He doubted he would find love again.  Even if he did, he wouldn’t give her the same ring, but he relented, giving Cait what she wanted.  How could he not?

"I should get going.  Tell Joe I said thanks for his hospitality.”

“Of course.”

“And good luck with Barry.”

“What do you mean?” Caitlin asked, utterly confused.

“I’ve seen the way you are together…they way you look at him, the way he looks at you…”

“It’s not like that…really.  He likes Iris.”

“He only thinks he likes Iris.  Trust me, after living with someone for a few weeks, you pick up on a few things.”

Caitlin looked at him skeptically, denial flowing through her veins.  "Barry and I are just friends.“

"For now…” He added. “But it’s okay if that changes.  I wouldn’t blame either of you.  Like I said, I just want you to be happy.”

*****

Barry felt bad for listening in on such an intimate moment, but he just couldn’t make himself leave. At least not until he was sure Caitlin was okay.  Finally, he started to move back slowly when he heard Ronnie say those five little words: And good luck with Barry.

It was like he was struck with lightning all over again.  He was unable to move and entirely confused.  He had to hear the rest of the conversation.

I’ve seen the way you are together…they way you look at him, the way he looks at you…

Did they look at each other a certain way?  Did the lingering glances and touches mean something more than he thought?

“It’s not like that…really.  He likes Iris.”

“He only thinks he likes Iris.  Trust me, after living with someone for a few weeks, you pick up on a few things.”

Iris.  She was his soul mate.  Right?  The futuristic newspaper said so.  Though the future is always subject to change… and what things is he supposedly picking up on?  Sure he has talked about Caitlin a few times with Joe and Ronnie, but that didn’t mean anything.  Did it?

“Barry and I are just friends.”

“For now… But it’s okay if that changes.”

Seriously?  What, is he shipping them now?  They literally just broke up.  It was weird, but at the same time Barry couldn’t help but smile at Ronnie’s words.  He was a pretty cool guy, but Cait was right.  The two of them are just friends.  So why was Barry feeling relief over their break up?  Did he want things to change between them?

Barry had many questions swirling around his brain and very few answers.  However, before he could think too much, he heard footsteps heading for the door.  Oh Crap! Barry put his super speed to good use and zoomed around the corner.

Just then Ronnie entered the hall.  Pausing a moment, he noted a slight breeze and rustled papers in the corridor.  He shook his head a laughed as he wondered just how much Barry overheard.  Judging by how fast he sped away, he heard more than enough.  Ronnie sighed and made his way down the hall opposite the way Barry had gone.  They’ll figure out their feelings eventually. He thought to himself.  He just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.  Like he said before, life is too short to spend it waiting around.  You have to make things happen.