This was one of our first attempts with this song as a full band. Most of the people in this video aren’t even in our band. (Ysa wasn’t around then). This didn’t even have a title when this was shot. ShIT
Bear with me, this is a slow burn but it’s worth it, I promise.
So this happened a while back (god, 6 years ago…ew) , and honestly I still find it funny to this day. Though at the time it’s was kinda revolationary for me.
So I was 18, working at a beachside DoubleTree in Florida. I was a Jack of all trades at this fucking place. Officially I was hired for breakfast buffet and food runner. It entailed making sure the buffet is full, breaking it down after breakfast ended, and then running food to the pool that had been ordered. What I actually did? Both of those jobs, room service, banquets (like weddings and other catering events) and bartending training.
I lived about 45 minutes away and had to be at work by 5:30am to prep breakfast so… That’s already fun. So I get through breakfast and go to the poolside bar so, I’ll call her Leslie, so Leslie can continue training be inbetween running food orders out. I like Leslie. She’s in her late 30s and kinda just tired with life in general and her dry sense of humour really showed it.
So this day, I’m running food, when the catering manager (a 45+ y/o man BTW) decided to follow me around while I work, just gossiping. I don’t mind so much, I don’t participate but if nothing else it can be entertaining. So he’s rambling and I’m nodding, and then something he says catches my attention.
He starts going off about how I should be careful cause Leslie is a lesbian and so she does all day is hit on girls and get drunk.
So, drinking on the job is like… Super against the rules and I know she doesn’t so, of course, I immediately go to her and tell her what he’s been saying since it can LITERALLY get her fired. And, like a reasonable adult, she goes to HR.
A few hours later here comes the catering manager and he looks PISSED,
Asks “did you go tell her what I said?”
to which I respond, “Um yes? She’s my trainer and also my work friend and what you said could get her fired.”
And his next words blew my fucking mind. He says to me “Did you seriously tattle on me?”
Like, no? This isn’t 3rd grade. Its just called reporting misconduct now. Like? I just remember thinking, where the fuck are all the adults I was promised, I’m surrounded by large children.
It was that day that I realized adults are totally faking it.
After that frustrating conversation he decides to drop on me that I’ll need to work late that night at a banquet, a wedding to be specific. (mind you, I got there at 5:30am and the wedding starts at 6pm… Yaaaay…) but I can’t refuse so when the time comes I go get changed and find him again to get the details for this banquet and, with just the most despicable grin, he informs me that he was short because people “called outĺ abs that I would be catering an entire 80 guest wedding BY MYSELF. I am rendered LITERALLY speechless as he walks away.
I’m terrified, I’d worked a few banquets before but never alone. I wasn’t even just worried about doing poorly, I also didn’t want to ruin a wedding just because I pissed off my fucking boss. With nerves up to my ears, I go out to greet the wedding party to be immensely surprised.
So here’s the satisfying part.
They were awesome. It was a really sweet black family, half of which (the grooms side) had literally flown from Jamaica to attend. They all were so kind and excited. It was really contagious. They even made me dance with them at one point. I had a blast.
The wedding lasted about 3 hours and when it was all said and done, both sets of parents tipped me under the table on top of my automatic gratuity. One gave me $200 and the other gave me $300 and a bunch of the guests gave me smaller tips anywhere from $5-$50.
Once everyone left and I’m done cleaning up my catering manager comes back, all smug, and asks me how everything went. My response?
I pull out my wad of cash and start counting it in my head and with a grin and say, “I think it went well. If you’re ever short again I’d be glad to cover.” The look on his face was worth every extra minute of work that day.
He may have made me work a 15hr work day, but after adding up the pay from my hours worked, tips at the bar, the bonus for working a banquet, the automatic gratuity, under the table tips, AND OVERTIME… I made over 1.5 thousand dollars that night.
So tell me again...why in the middle of the night have I been called down here?
Well you see as her husband you are the next of kin and...
We can't get her out, when we try she just "shhhs" us.
You mean to tell me, that 1. she broke in 2. got past all of your magical security and 3. is still in there completely undisturbed?
Okay, another thing, why are they here? *gestures over shoulder*
We are Aurors, and her best friends.
Plus if it were anyone else she would be arrested, and you wouldn't know until after they detained her.
Here we are....Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Vault.
Good luck mate.
We will be out here if you need backup.
*Glares and mumbles 'chickens' under his breath, and walks into the vault. Looks around and finds Hermione sitting in a chair with an ancient looking copy of Hogwarts a History open in her hands.* Ahem...Hermione sweetheart?
Hermione sweetie what are you doing in here?
*turns page* I was reading one of my copies of H.O.H. and it said that the very first and only copy of H.O.H. was in the Hogwarts vault at Gringotts.
And you thought to come down here and read it yourself, without getting permission?
Oh I know if I owled McGonagall she would have said yes, but then I would have had to wait for her reply, and then set up a time to come down here. This was faster.
So you mean to tell me, that you woke up in the middle of the night with the urge so strong to read this book that you; snuck out of the Mansion, snuck into Gringotts, bypassed their over the top security measures that they even improved upon because of the last time you broke in and out of here, snuck down to the Hogwarts vault, and broke into it...all because you couldn't wait to read this book?
*smiles and looks up* Yes.
*kisses her forehead* Alright sweetie, just make sure to put everything back where you found it. *Exits vault*
So how did it go?
Is she going to leave?
Ha...good luck with that she won't be leaving till she's done.
Well that's good enough for me, shall we go for an early breakfast?
When oats are actually life. Breakfast is oats, topped with ½ a banana, fresh strawberries, Blueberries and @mayversfood peanut butter! So good! If you haven’t tried adding PB or Almond Butter to your oats - do ehtttt!!
“Just tell me what you want.” He says, running his hands through his hair, frustrated.
I glance at the boy who in just a few months of knowing him has become more than my best friend.
“I want you.” I whisper.
“I want you to hug me and protect me and keep me safe.
I want you to laugh with me and at me. I want you to flirt with me and tease me. I want you to annoy the shit out of me.
I want you to make me smile. I want you to be reason for my tears and smiles. I want your voice to be the last before I fall asleep and the first when I wake up.
I want to yell at you and scream at you for being a jerk. I want you to forget my birthday just so I can make you suffer to make it up to me, because I know once you remember it, I’ll never forget the way surprise me. I want you to ignore my messages. I want you to break my heart. I want you to make up with me and promise never to hurt me again.
I want to care for you and look after you. I want make breakfast for you in the morning. I want to cuddle with you and kiss your face. I want to fall asleep in your arms and I want to steal the covers away from you. I want you to tickle me and call me cute names.
I want you to tell me everything is going to be okay.
But, most of all, I want you to love me.”
I want it all. The good, the bad, the ugly, the happily ever after. // things I wish I could say to you. (teeexxh)