breaking bad cat's in the bag

Even More Unusual Asks

😬- If you bit someone, would it hurt?
🏨- Name a time you were badly injured. What happened and what caused it?
🏆- Do you consider yourself competitive at all? What will you do to win a game/fight?
🥘- Are you good at cooking? What is the best dish you have made. Alternatively, how bad are you at cooking? What’s the worst dish you’ve made?
🌴- Do you like going on vacation? Or does your boss force you to take a break?
🐚- When treasure hunting, what do you look for? Stuff that sparkles and shines or dusty ancient relics?
👓- How good is your eyesight? Do you ever need glasses for anything?
👛- What are the contents of your purse/bag/pockets?
👘- Describe your formal attire. What would you wear to a wedding, fancy dance/date/dinner, funeral, or similar formal events?
🐩- What dog breed bests suits you?
🐆- What cat breed best suits you?
🐻- What wild animal best suits you?
🎀- Do you like cute things at all? What is the cutest thing you have or have met?
🎉- What is a typical birthday celebration like for you? How do you go about celebrating other people’s birthdays?
🗝- What is looped around your key ring?
🛁- What do you do to treat yourself?
💉- Do you dislike shots and injections?
🌅- Are there any scenic locations you would like to live out your retirement in?
🍸- Do you need to relax right now? What do you do when you take the day off?
🏰- If you owned a castle, what would you make it look like?
🚏- How good are you with directions? Do you get lost easily?
⚽️- What games did you play with other kids when you were younger?
🍱- Are you hungry right now? Are you craving anything to eat?

handy (tom holland x reader)

requested: @mc-universe I’M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BB IT PROBABLY SUCKS BUT ILY DON’T HATE ME

word count: 930

pairing: tom holland x reader

tagged: @supernovares @spider-hlland @peterwithextrapickles@cmonspiderling@barely-emily@clubparker@comehomespiderman

summary: tom finds out about a weird fetish of yours and teases you about it  warnings: just fluff and terrible writing skills                                           –

Normally when someone says what they like about their significant other, it’s usually their eyes, or their smile. Not you, not even close. You know what you liked about Tom? Not his smile, his eyes, or his laugh - his HANDS. They were soft, strong, you lived for when he’d put his hand on your thigh, simply held your hand, or caress your face - anything really. When he would lace his fingers with yours and bring it to his chest, it’d melt your heart instantly. You always felt so warm and safe in his hands.

But you’d never wanted Tom to find out about this fetish. You thought it was just SO weird and could possibly make him feel uncomfortable, which would lead to a break up - which isn’t what you wanted at all. So you decided to not make anything too obvious and just keep it to yourself. You were completely okay with him not finding out ever. Saving the utter embarrassment was super important, but saving your relationship was more. Unfortunately, it did get to him.

“Honestly, Tom’s hands are the softest, warmest, most beautiful things I’ve ever seen or held , in my entire life. I don’t know what he does to make them so soft, but whatever he does, he needs to keep doing it.” You gush to your friend via phone one afternoon, thinking you were safe - and of course you weren’t, for Tom had been listening while leaning against the doorway for the past 10 minutes. He wasn’t uncomfortable at all, he just thought it was funny that of all of his features you liked his hands the most. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to tease you.

“My what now, babe?” He finally asked, making you jump in response.  He had the biggest smirk on his face when you turned around. This CANNOT be happening. You quickly end the conversation with your friend hanging up. “Hey, um, I have to go - cats out of the bag..”

You immediately started to ramble, not even letting him speak , “dude yoU wEreN’t suPpoSED to hEar thaT,” and, “oh my god, no, now you’re gonna break up with me I’m so sorry.”

Tom explained how he wasn’t going to break up with you, and how he didn’t think it was weird to have a hand fetish. He did think it was absolutely didn’t want you to feel bad, but the entire day he would still find ways to tease you. There was no way, no way he’d let you get away with that easily, absolutely no way. For the next couple of hours, he’d kind of brush it off, making it seem like he forgot about it. Then after a while, he started to mess with you slowly. Tom would be typing something on his phone or wrong something, and say something dumb like ‘my eyes are up HERE, not my hands.’

“Tom, STOP.” You’d warn him, slight annoyance in your voice. He’d just giggle, thinking it was the funniest shit ever. It wasn’t. It really made you feel worse.

The day was filled with moments like that: him doing something that involved with his hands, and being like, ‘did that turn you on, darling?’.

“Tom, i mean it, stop.”

He would purposely lace his fingers with yours and rub your hand with his thumb, just to fuck with your heart, and it surely did. This made you love his hands and him even more.

Sometimes he’d just be like, ‘hey, babe, hIGH FIVE’, and you’d do so, and he’d say “did that turn you on??” And for fuck sakes, the time he literally caressed your face with his hand, saying “The things my hands can do, huh babe?” while winking.

You were now red with anger, completely done with him. After that, you’d had it with the teasing and gave him the silent treatment - because it was already embarrassing that he knew, but the teasing really got to you. Of course he didn’t realize how bad it made you feel.

For hours Tom would try and get you to talk to him, but nothing helped.

You’d just give him blank stares or say snarky things like, “I feel like something is in here, but I don’t see anything? Maybe I’m just losing it.” And he would literally die inside because the boy is SO clingy and in love with you, he was starting to feel so bad because he realized that he hurt your feelings for teasing you. He never wanted to make you feel bad about anything.

You suddenly feel a pair of arms wrapped around you, and to be honest, you felt very safe in them like always. Tom kissed your cheek multiple times, then rested his head on your shoulder, “Hey.” He spoke, voice muffled.

“Hey, love.” You sigh, finally breaking through. Even though Tom was being a jerk, you still loved him and it made you feel better that he knew what he was doing was wrong.

“I’m sorry for making you feel bad about having a hand fetish. And no, I am not breaking up with you. I love you so much, darling.” Tom loved and adored you so much, even your weird fetish.

You finally managed to smile and pull him into a real hug. “I love you too, Tom.” You say, “Always will.”

anonymous asked:

☾,♥, and ♦ for jason

☾ sleep headcanon

  • he can’t sleep with thick blankets.. sleeping with them usually end up giving him really bad nightmares so he prefers to invest money on a good heat system
  • the first thing he did when the cat was out of the bag and everything calmed down a bit, was break into the manor and steal his old pillow. He’s really picky about pillows for some reason, and he hadnt been able to find one that was as comfortable as the one he had at the manor. The first thing he does when he’s in good terms with Bruce is ask where the hell he got that pillow.
  • (the next day he finds twenty two pillows on his bed, with a little note from Bruce. He didn’t bother reading it, but he kept the pillows once he moved away from that safe house)

♥ family headcanons

  • jason prides himself in not having favorite siblings, ( *edgy Jason voice* i hate you all the same amount) but the cold truth is that he favors damian and cass the most.
  • he tries to have lunch with alfred at least twice a week, and they fight to pay the check every single time. (They both want to pay, and the idea of paying half and half never crosses their mind)

♦ quirks/hobbies headcanons

  • the first and last thing he does each day is hack into arkhams security system and check the jokers cell. He cant go to sleep or carry on with his day if he doesn’t do that.
  • (barbara is the only one who knows. She gets it.)
  • he still collects books, but not first edition or anything like that. He gets the books on its original language, and always bought on the country where it was printed.
  • (the others caught up on that, and if they visit another country they usually bring him back a book. Kori has even got him books from another planets, and Jason is determined to learn those languages so he can properly enjoy them instead of having kori read them to him, even if he does enjoy when she does it.)
Magic AU:

There’s Something In Your Eyes by CrypticCravings (Sekaiinokoi), General Audience,10k

Chapters: 3/3, Finished

SUMMARY:

-This year, the Triwizard Tournament is being held at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, where Marinette Dupain-Cheng has been selected as Champion. She is not afraid of most of the challenges that await her. Except one. Fantastic beasts? No problem. Tests of wit? She’s got them in the bag. Asking her crush to the Yule Ball? That’s a different story entirely…


Cursed by vegabondjumper, Not rated,22k

Chapters: 8/?

SUMMARY:

-Witch Marinette AU because halloween!!!! Ahhhh! Basically Marinette has terrible luck and to counteract it she decides to get a black cat which turns out to be Chat/Adrien who is cursed. So these two are going to have lots of fluff as they try to break the curse on Chat and as Marinette tries to get rid of her bad luck. Lots of Marichat wonderfulness and some occasional Adrienette because how could I not.


Even More Unusual Asks

😬- If you bit someone, would it hurt?
🏨- Name a time you were badly injured. What happened and what caused it?
🏆- Do you consider yourself competitive at all? What will you do to win a game/fight?
🥘- Are you good at cooking? What is the best dish you have made. Alternatively, how bad are you at cooking? What’s the worst dish you’ve made?
🌴- Do you like going on vacation? Or does your boss force you to take a break?
🐚- When treasure hunting, what do you look for? Stuff that sparkles and shines or dusty ancient relics?
👓- How good is your eyesight? Do you ever need glasses for anything?
👛- What are the contents of your purse/bag/pockets?
👘- Describe your formal attire. What would you wear to a wedding, fancy dance/date/dinner, funeral, or similar formal events?
🐩- What dog breed bests suits you?
🐆- What cat breed best suits you?
🐻- What wild animal best suits you?
🎀- Do you like cute things at all? What is the cutest thing you have or have met?
🎉- What is a typical birthday celebration like for you? How do you go about celebrating other people’s birthdays?
🗝- What is looped around your key ring?
🛁- What do you do to treat yourself?
💉- Do you dislike shots and injections?
🌅- Are there any scenic locations you would like to live out your retirement in?
🍸- Do you need to relax right now? What do you do when you take the day off?
🏰- If you owned a castle, what would you make it look like?
🚏- How good are you with directions? Do you get lost easily?
⚽️- What games did you play with other kids when you were younger?
🍱- Are you hungry right now? Are you craving anything to eat?

2

Matsuno Osomatsu

  • Leader of the group
  • Best/skilled fighter 
  • Weapon is a metal pipe
  • Trying his best to look after his brothers
  • Hides his emotions to protect his brothers

Matsuno Karamatsu 

  • Second strongest and most skilled fighter
  • One eye was blinded from an accident
  • Helps Choromatsu investigate 
  • Normally prefers not to fight unless himself of his brothers are in danger
  • Strong mental and physical ability


Matsuno Choromatsu

  • Collects useful information about zombies and the cities’ geography and writes them on a journal he kept
  • Carries important items in his bag (etc, Food, water, small weapons and hand grenades.)
  • Organised roles for each brother to do
  • Weak physical ability yet very intelligent 
  • He’s the medic of the group and obsesses over his brother’s health

Matsuno Ichimatsu

  • Good sense of hearing and smell ( keeps alert most of the time)
  • Carries his knife most of the time
  • His depression gets really bad at certain times
  • Moves freely like a cat
  • Can collect information from cats

Matsuno Jyushimatsu

  • The strongest matsu but can’t control his power properly
  • Often gets into trouble
  • Mental breaks down when there’s too much to handle
  • Gets injured easily 
  • Carries a bat with him when he fights zombies 

….

…..

Wonder why Todomatsu’s not here? e w e

You’ll find out soon….

Line art done by me (Mod Llama)

Colour done by Mod J

Halloween Fic.

based off this post.

I FORGOT IT WAS HALLOWEEN! CAUSE I DON’T CELEBRATE IT WHERE I LIVE! SO THIS IS KINDA RUSHED! BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! BE SAFE!


“Please?” Cat Noir asked again. Ladybug sighed “Why do you want to go so badly?” she asked “I’ve never been trick or treating! I wanna try it at least once! And like this, people may just think I’m someone dressing up as me!” he said.

Ladybug sighed softly “Fine…we can go after our patrol” she said. Cat smiled, his tail wagging behind him “Are you a cat or a dog?!” Ladybug said, pointing at Cat’s tail. “I am a Cat with dog like tendencies my lady” he said before the two went off of their patrol.

In the end, there wasn’t anything to report “I guess even bad guys take a break on Halloween…come on!” Cat said, jumping into an alley below, dragging Ladybug with him. “alright…and what about treat-” Ladybug looked at Cat Noir as he pulled out a pair of treat bags from behind a box. “You were planning on this, weren’t you?” Ladybug asked.

Keep reading

La Seine

Summary: After a quiet night of patrol, Ladybug and Chat Noir decide to take a stroll down Pont Neuf across the river Seine. So how did they end up dancing together? (Based on a Monster of Paris and Miraculous Ladybug crossover I wanted to do but what beaten to it. Curse you college schoolwork and midterms! So I did a fanfic of it instead.)

Rating: K+

A/N: I can’t write fluff or romance for the life of me, sorry. I wrote this in the span of three days, in between classes. I’m in Ladybug hell right now.


“I swear, Kitty,” hissed Ladybug, “If another cat pun or flirty remark passes thoses lips, you’ll be taking a bath in the Seine.”

“So harsh, my Lady,” whimpered Chat Noir, giving his partner the sad puppy…er…kitty cat eyes.

The bells of Notre Dame echoed throughout the city, signaling midnight and the end of Sunday. Class started in a couple of hours and Marinette still had to finish the last five question of her algebra homework and squeeze in some hour of sleep. The dark circles under her eyes were getting worse, so much that both Alya and her parents were concern about how well she was sleeping. Heck, Ms. Bustier pulled her aside after class and asked if she needed to visit the nurse’s office, which she refuse and stated that she was fine. Marinette ended up downing four cups of coffees to stay away that day.

She blamed Hawk Moth and his increasing akuma attacks on the Parisian citizens. Seven in the last month, a record. Five students from their schools and two adults, all of them deadly and persistent with their attacks. It had gotten so bad that she had to exchange her elbow length jacket and capris for long jeans and full sleeve shirt to cover the bruises and cuts from the battles. Thankfully, it was autumn so no one questioned her change in outfit when the weather started to get a bit chilly.

You’d think that my cleansing power would heal these injuries,’ thought Ladybug, rubbing her wrist. It was still sore after fighting that evil acrobatic performer two days ago. That villain could kick, hard!

She was incredible grateful for quiet, non-eventful patrols at night. Not only was the air crisp and refreshing in the dark of the night, but the lights of Paris were always breathtakingly beautiful. Marinette sometimes wished she could bring her sketchbook with her on patrol and just draw the cityscape and get inspiration for new designs. It was a wonderful night.

Now if only Chat Noir could shut his mouth for a minute.

The only downside to this night was his non-stop flirty remarks and annoying cat puns. Don’t get her wrong, Marinette trusts Chat Noir with her life, he’s her partner, her other half, she cares for him and often enjoys his company. But his coy attitude and teasing remarks were driving her up the wall, more so than usual. Chat Noir must have had a good day to be acting like this.

And indeed, Adrien had a great day! He manage to ace two test he previously thought he flunked, his father, still on his business trip in Italy, permitted him to stay overnight at Nino’s home next weekend and Plagg had slept through majority of the day, giving Adrien a break from his bad luck and, for once, didn’t have his bag stinking of camembert cheese all day. Topping off the fact that there was no akuma attacks and could spend a quiet night with his beloved Ladybug, Chat Noir was on cloud nine.

The two decide to end their patrol on Pont Neuf, taking in the sight of Paris’ famed river. Ladybug felt at peace watching the water flow underneath the bridge, taking in the slight breeze blowing from the north. Chat Noir took this opportunity to stretch his cramping limbs in a cat-like manner. Marinette had to slap her hand over her mouth to keep herself from giggling, she’d never admit it but Chat looked cute when his cat-like instincts too over. Like the incidents with the ball of yarn and laser pointer. Poor Chat couldn’t look at her in the eye without turn red from embarrassment. The duo was then startled when they heard a loud foghorn-like noise mixed with a stream of music and chattering.

Gliding slowly over the river and anchoring under the bridge was a small yacht, a rather luxurious one at that. Onboard were multiple people all dressed impeccably, mingling about the upper deck while a group of musician played songs. Marinette watch the festivity in envy, wishing she could partake in such gatherings. Dancing among the high class, in a gown design and made by her, being admired as Marinette instead of Ladybug. She often dreamed of having a Cinderella-like moment at these events, her being Cinderella and Adrien being her handsome prince. Oh, who was she kidding? These people were clearly above her social standing. Chloe and Adrien were more fit to be among these people than the clumsy, baker’s daughter.

Adrien, however, silently groan at the boat upon closer inspection. He could recognize it as one of Chloe’s father’s friends, a couple whom enjoy throwing lavish parties until the early morning hours. Chloe ‘persuaded’ him to attend a few of his parties, each more boring than the last. Hours of people merely showering the two teens with complements on how influential he and his father were in the fashion world and how Chloe looked so nice and the wonderful improvements her father made as the mayor of Paris. No dancing, no games, it was merely people standing around in fancy outfits, brownnosing it with other wealthy socialites and listening to music.

“Oh, I love this song,” cooed Ladybug, leaning over the edge of the bridge. The music wafted up from the boat into the air, the upbeat tone lightening the mood around them.

Chat Noir followed her example and lean over too, he recognized the tune as well, “La Seine, right? That’s the name of the song?”

“Yeah, my mom used to play it over and over when I was a kid,” Ladybug could see the trio of musicians playing in a little booth at the front of the boat. Looking closer, the guests were all decked out in designer cocktail dresses and three-piece suits, drinking champagne and munching on hors d’oeuvres. Mon Dieu, she was hungry. Dinner was hours ago and all that running around on patrol left her stomach growling.

“No singing,” stated Chat, looking over the party in boredom, “Guess it’s just instrumental.”

“What a shame, I’ve always like singing along to the song,” Ladybug tapped her fingers against the stone, matching the beat of the song.

Chat raised a masked eyebrow, “You sing, My Lady?”

“Yeah, a bit,” said Ladybug, “Though it’s nothing to brag about. It’s just normal singing like you do with your favorite songs or in the shower.”

The song ended with the crowd of partiers clapping and raising their glasses in approval. Some called out for an encore, which the musicians seem happy to comply. The song started off again, the uplifting beat echoing through the canal and up to the bridge with towards the two heroes. Ladybug started rapping her fingers against the stone in harmony with the melody, the lyrics appearing in her head.

She’s resplendent, so confident, la Seine, la Seine, la Seine,” sang Ladybug, swaying a bit to the music, “I realize, I’m hypnotized, la Seine, la Seine, la Seine. I hear the moon singing a tune, la Seine, la Seine, la Seine. Is she divine? Is it the wine? La Seine, la Seine, la Seine.”

The musicians from the boat started to pick up the beat and with it, Ladybug couldn’t help but start dancing. Years in ballet taught her balance and fluidity as well as a sense of gracefulness. Too bad Marinette, shy and clumsy in a crowd, couldn’t transfer that same grace without tripping on her feet. But as Ladybug, it was second nature to her.

I don’t know, don’t know, so don’t ask me why, that’s how we are, La Seine and I,” Ladybug swayed her hips, her feet gliding back and forth with the beat, twirling back and forth, “I don’t know, don’t know, so don’t ask me why, that’s how we are, La Seine and I.”

As Marinette spun around, she felt an arm wrapped around waist and pulled her towards a warm body. Chat Noir, who watch his Lady elegantly dance about herself, grew reckless and bored of watching her dancing alone and decided to join in. Adrien remember how she teased him for a while for that ridiculous Gangnam style dance he did and how silly he looked to her. He wanted to show Ladybug what an expert dancer he really was, plus it was a valid excuse just to be close to her.

I feel alive when I’m beside, la Seine, la Seine, la Seine,” sung Chat Noir, holding his lady in a closed position, his hand resting on the curve of her back while his clasp her right hand together with his, gliding his partner into a waltz, “From this angle like an angel, la Seine, la Seine, la Seine.”

Marinette let out a small laugh before placing her other hand on Chat’s leather-clad shoulder and followed in step with his waltz, “I don’t know, don’t know, so don’t ask me why, that’s how we are, La Seine and I. I don’t know, don’t know, so don’t ask me why, that’s how we are, La Seine and I.”

When Chat has spun her around, Ladybug saw her chance and let go of his hand and jumped onto the stone parapet. She beckoned her partner onto the edge to continue their dance. Chat accepted the challenge and jumped onto the edge, dancing next to his Lady. “Upon the bridge…” sang Ladybug, “My heart does beat,” finished Cat Noir.

Between the waves,” Ladybug jeté across a foot in front of her, before twisting her body towards Chat Noir, “We will be saved,” Chat Noir held his arms opening, like he was expecting Ladybug to jump into his arms. Ladybug giggled and spun her body towards him, “The air we breathe,” wrapping one arm around her waist and locking his other hand with hers, Chat Noir held his Lady as she did an arabesque pose, “Can you believe?” Chat Noir spun Ladybug to face him, back to their waltz position, “Learn to forgive upon the bridge.”

The two jumped down and continued their waltz upon the streets, the music still going on strong, “That’s how we are, the Seine and I,” they fell into rhythm, each steps perfectly alined with one another, “That’s how we are, the Seine and I,” their movements became faster, their dance fluctuating from a waltz to a tango to paso doble then back to a waltz, “That’s how we are the Seine and I. That’s how we are the Seine and I.”

The song ended just as Chat Noir elegantly dipped his lady. Applause could be heard coming from the boat though the two didn’t seem to notice, too exhausted from the improve dance and song they just broke out in. Ladybug’s chest rose up and down rapidly as Chat Noir gently pulled her back upright, both staring into each other’s eyes.

They didn’t register the yacht moving further away, taking the music with it. Nor did they notice when they were plunged into utter silence, with only the sound of their hasty breathing. All they could do was staring at each other. Marinette never notice how beautiful Chat’s eyes were, a shade of green that reminded her of the leaves and plants in the spring. Alive, encompassing, with a hint of mischief nestled inside. Likewise, Chat gazed into Ladybug’s piercing blue eyes that, to him, shone brighter than the Earth’s sky. Adrien knew she was half Chinese and thought of how lucky she was to have such a rare and beautiful shade of blue for eyes. Eyes that radiated confidence, strength and warmth, he wished he could drown himself in those eyes.

Suddenly, the two were snapped out of their daze by the beeping of their Miraculous, signaling their time limit running out. Ladybug jumped out of Chat’s arms and placed some distance between the two of them. She placed a gloved hand over her heart, trying to calm herself and catch her breath. Why was her face so hot?

“That was fun,” smiled Ladybug, trying to contain the butterflies in her chest. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest; she couldn’t believe she had done that! And with Chat Noir of all people!

Chat Noir grinned, his cheeks slightly red, though she didn’t know if it was from the dancing or how close they were moments ago, “Indeed, my Lady. We must do it again sometime.”

“In your dreams, Kitty,” she panted, trying to regain her breath. Great, now she was tired, sweaty and sleep-deprived. Marinette made a mental note to shower before climbing into bed.

“You know what they say about dreams,” purred Chat, “You have to dream before your dreams can come true. And I’ll be sure to dream sweetly of you.”

Ladybug groaned, back to the flirting. She bid her partner a good bye and a goodnight as she strung her yoyo to the nearest building ledge and swung upward. Chat Noir remained in that spot for a while, watching his beloved companion swing from building to building until she was out of sight. Only then did he start jogging towards the opposite direction, praying that Natalie isn’t having another all-nighter for his father. The women had the ears of a hawk!

Five minutes after the two superheroes left the scene of the dance, Alya came out from hiding behind one of the bridge’s curved stone bench, her body covered by one of the pillars. She had followed Ladybug and her partner Chat Noir for hours during their patrols, hoping to get any action by Paris’s heroes or juicy hint on their identity. Sure school was in a few hours and Marinette would fret about her being out so late but who cares! After what she just witness, the punishment would be well worth it.

Who knew Ladybug could sing so well or that she and Chat Noir could make such beautiful music together? Alya replayed the video on her camera zooming in on the faces of Ladybug and Chat Noir as the dance and sang; look directly into each other’s eyes. If she weren’t so tired, she would have busted out squealing at the obvious attraction happening. Mon Dieu, they were so cute together!

I don’t get why Marinette keeps saying they aren’t a couple,’ thought Alya, scoffing at the idea of Ladybug and Chat Noir NOT being romantically together, ‘I think it’s pretty obvious that they have some relationship going on. How can they not?!’

Alya yawned loudly and panic when she saw it was 1:38am. She stashed the camera into her bag and started jogging back to her house. Thankfully, her parents are heavy sleepers so she’ll have time to sneak in, upload the video to her blog and get into bed without anyone being the wiser. While Alya could have just wait until morning, but with a video as juicy as this, she risk falling asleep in class.


A/N: I’m thinking about doing a part 2 for this fic, purely for the reactions.

so i was thinking (while cutting my nails)… superstitions are so weird. because even though I try to avoid them and be like ‘yeah that doesn’t work’ I managed to come up with some reaaaaly weird stuff I regularly do (or avoid doing). for example in my family it is known that:

  • after cutting your nails you should never throw them out through the window. not sure if or what’s gonna happen but it won’t be anything good.
  • spilling or God forbid breaking a bottle of oil - bad luck, no going back something horrible is going to happen, you’re fucked pal, sorry
  • your nose is itchy? you’re gonna be angry (??)
  • that weird pimple on tongue or in your mouth - someone’s talking shit about you. wanna get rid of it? spit in the fire.
  • going to bed with wet hair? you’re practically dead already.
  • opening an umbrella while inside is a big no-no.
  • leaving your bag on a floor - you won’t have money (I guess that’s why I’m broke all the time….)
  • young moon? show it some money!
  • black cat? spit three times and it’s fine.
  • if you step over a child lying on the floor they will stop growing. you can reverse this if you step back over them. 
  • if you see a chimney sweep grab a button it’s good luck!  
  • if you go under a bridge while a train is passing make a wish and it will come true.
  • if you eyelash falls out you take in and put in on a tip of your finger, press your finger with someone else’s and you both make a wish. whoever gets the eyelash he, gets the wish! (ohmyGod!)
  • ladybugs are good luck. set them free!

….and so on and on and on I don’t even know where all of these came from… they’re just here my whole life and I don’t even think about it. and if I do I end up with ‘ ok but what if…. it’s the rules. you don’t make the rules. better safe than sorry’ (??)

The Sass is Back (The Sword of Summer Chapter Title Masterpost)

1. Good Morning! You’re Going to Die
2. The Man with the Metal Bra
3. Don’t Accept Rides from Strange Relatives
4. Seriously, the Dude Cannot Drive
5. I’ve Always Wanted to Destroy a Bridge
6. Make Way for Ducklings, or They Will Smack You Upside the Head
7. You Look Great Without a Nose, Really
8. Mind the Gap, and Also the Hairy Guy with the Ax
9. You Totally Want the Minibar Key
10. My Room Does Not Suck
11. Pleased to Meet You. I Will Now Crush Your Windpipe
12. At Least I’m Not on Goat-Chasing Duty
13. Phil the Potato Meets His Doom
14. Four Million Channels and There’s Still Nothing On Except Valkyrie Vision
15. My Blooper Video Goes Viral
16. Norns. Why Did It Have to Be Norns?
17. I Did Not Ask for Biceps
18. I Do Mighty Combat with Eggs
19. Do Not Call Me Beantown. Like, Ever
20. Come to the Dark Side. We Have Pop-Tarts
21. Gunilla Gets Blowtorched and It’s Not Funny. Okay, It’s a Little Bit Funny
22. My Friends Fall Out of a Tree
23. I Recycle Myself
24. You Had One Job
25. My Funeral Director Dresses Me Funny
26. Hey, I Know You’re Dead, But Call Me Maybe
27. Let’s Play Frisbee with Bladed Weapons!
28. Talk to the Face, ’Cause That’s Pretty Much All He’s Got
29. We Are Falafel-Jacked by an Eagle
30. An Apple a Day Will Get You Killed
31. Go Smelly or Go Home
32. My Years of Playing Bassmasters 2000 Really Pay Off
33. Sam’s Brother Wakes Up Kinda Cranky
34. My Sword Almost Ends Up on eBay
35. Thou Shalt Not Poop on the Head of Art
36. Duck!
37. I Am Trash-Talked by a Squirrel
38. I Break Down in a Volkswagen
39. Freya Is Pretty! She Has Cats!
40. My Friend Evolved from a—Nope. I Can’t Say It
41. Blitz Makes a Bad Deal
42. We Have a Pre-decapitation Party, with Egg Rolls
43. Let the Crafting of Decorative Metal Waterfowl Begin
44. Junior Wins a Bag of Tears
45. I Get to Know Jack
46. Aboard the Good Ship Toenail
47. I Psychoanalyze a Goat
48. Hearthstone Passes Out Even More than Jason Grace (Though I Have No Idea Who That Is)
49. Well, There’s Your Problem. You’ve Got a Sword Up Your Nose
50. No Spoilers. Thor Is Way Behind on His Shows
51. We Have the Talk-About-Turning-Into-Horseflies Chat
52. I Got the Horse Right Here. His Name Is Stanley
53. How to Kill Giants Politely
54. Why You Should Not Use a Steak Knife as a Diving Board
55. I’m Carried into Battle by the First Dwarven Airborne Division
56. Never Ask a Dwarf to “Go Long”
57. Sam Hits the EJECT Button
58. What the Hel?
59. The Terror That Is Middle School
60. A Lovely Homicidal Sunset Cruise
61. Heather Is My New Least Favorite Flower
62. The Small Bad Wolf
63. I Hate Signing My Own Death Warrant
64. Whose Idea Was It to Make This Wolf Un-killable?
65. I Hate This Part
66. Sacrifices
67. One More, for a Friend
68. Don’t Be a No-bro, Bro
69. Oh…So That’s Who Fenris Smelled in Chapter Sixty-Three
70. We Are Subjected to the PowerPoint of Doom
71. We Burn a Swan Boat, Which I’m Pretty Sure Is Illegal
72. I Lose a Bet

Valentine’s Day Written by: Kelley M. (ghostgirlninja1122) Prompt by: ursopanda

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Author’s Note: As promised, here is “Valentine’s Day”! This is my first short story fic for “Miraculous Ladybug”, let me know if you guys like it and want to see more short stories!

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Today was the day. Valentine’s Day! At last, the day Marinette was looking forward to for so long. She had spent weeks trying to figure out what she would give to Adrien. And it had taken her even longer to build up the courage to even think about giving her crush a gift. So many questions ran through her head, Was this the right gift for him, Would he even like it, What if he hates it and never talks to me again?! Now she was in full panic mode. Just as she was about to throw herself onto her bed in defeat, her phone rang. It was Alya. Reluctantly, she pushed the “answer” button.

“Marinette?” Alya’s voice rang through the phone, “are you ready for Valentine’s Day?”

“I can’t do it, Alya! I can’t give him my present! He’s gonna hate it, I know it! I should just cut my losses.” Marinette laid down on her bed and put her arm over her eyes, wishing she didn’t have to go to school today.

“Stop that now,” Alya commanded. “You have to be more confident. I know you can do it. I know Adrien will love it. And make sure he knows this is from you, unlike the scarf incident. I believe in you, Marinette. It’s about time you should, too.”

Marinette took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before exhaling. “Ok, I’ll do it! I’ll give him my present.”

“That’s the spirit! I’ll see you soon,” Alya hung up, leaving Marinette alone with her thoughts again. Oh, why can’t I be as confident as I am as Ladybug? She’s not afraid of anything, and here I am afraid of talking to a boy! Pathetic!

Just then, Tikki appeared from Marinette’s purse. “She’s right, you know. You need to believe in yourself. If you can take on super villains, how hard can it be to talk to Adrien?”

Marinette sighed. “I know, I know. I just…I just don’t want to be rejected.”

“Are you kidding?” Tikki crossed her arms. “You’re Marinette, who could reject you. You’re amazing!”

Marinette cackled, “HA! You’re hilarious. Now c’mon, let’s get to school…Ladybug style.” After Marinette transformed into her alter ego, she grabbed the present, shoved it her book bag and was out the window in a flash.

****************************************************************************************************

Alya was waiting for Marinette in front of the school. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her friend racing towards her. When she finally reached her, she was short of breath and she placed her hands on her knees.

“Did I make it? Am I too late?” Marinette asked her friend.

Alya shook her head. “Nope, here comes his car now.” As if on cue, Adrien’s limo pulled up to the school. The back door opened, and out stepped Adrien, the man of Marinette’s dreams. A huge smile crept across her face as her crush closed the door and started walking in her direction, not meeting her gaze. Her smile quickly turned to a frown as he got closer and closer. Abort mission! Abort mission! she thought to herself. But then she collected herself. “You’re okay,” she whispered to herself, “you got this. You can do this, just believe in yourself.”

Without thinking, she yells to him. “Adrien!” she shouts as she waves her hand vigorously, gesturing him to come closer. He looks over, curious to who called his name. He sees Marinette, that one girl in his grade. Adrien waves back and smiles. He decides to walk over, wondering what she has to say.

Oh no, he’s walking over! He’s getting closer! “Alya, what do I say?!” Marinette nearly shouted.

“Don’t over think it! Just be you.” Alya says, reassuringly.

“Really, that’s all you got?!” Marinette responds in a high pitched voice.

Before she could say anything else, Adrien was right in front of her. He smiled at her, gazing at her with his bright green eyes. Marinette was speechless, she completely forgot what she was going to say…not that she knew what she was going to say in the first place.

“I’ll just, uh, leave you two here then,” Alya said casually as she walked up the stairs to go to her first class.

“Uh, hi,” Adrien said, breaking the silence. “Um, it’s Marinette, right?”

He remembered my name? HE REMEMBERED MY NAME?! She wanted to scream from the rooftops, but then she remembered she was in public, so she tried to reply as coolly and calmly as she possibly could.

“Uh…yeah, it is…it’s Marinette,” she giggled. “I just wanted to uh…well, I uh…since it’s Valentine’s Day and all, I…wanted to give you this.” She took her book bag off her back and opened the top zipper. She pulled out a small black box with a pink ribbon tied around it. On the ribbon was a heart-shaped tag that read “Adrien”, written in cursive. She handed the box to Adrien and started to speak again.

“I just thought…you might like it,” she said softly, now looking down at the ground. “It’s not much…” she trailed off.

Adrien held the box delicately in his hand, still not sure what to say. Here is this girl, whom he’d barely knew, giving him a Valentine’s Day present. But now he felt horrible, not having anything to give her. “I…uh…that is…” he began, but he couldn’t find the words.

While Adrien stuttered, Marinette looked up from the ground to see the confused, yet thoughtful face of Adrien. Now she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. I knew it! Now he thinks I’m a total creep, she thought to herself.

“I’m sorry,” she said so quietly he could barely here her. Marinette ran towards the school before the waterworks could start.

“Hey, wait!” Adrien called after her, but she was already out of ear rang. Now he felt even worse. Good going, Adrien, he scolded himself in his mind. Now she probably thinks you hate her. You’re a superhero, but you can’t even say thank you to Marinette. Idiot! He sighed and looked down at the Valentine’s Day gift. His class didn’t start for another half an hour, so he’d figured he would open up the gift now. He unwrapped the pink bow and shoved it in his pocket, then took the cover off of the box itself. There was some tissue paper in the way, so he gently removed it. When it was all gone, all that was left was a wrist-sized silver band in the box.

It was a charm bracelet.

He took it out of the box and stared at it in amazement. There were a total of 5 charms on the bracelet. There was a fancy letter “A”. Must stand for Adrien, he thought. There was a musical note. That’s probably for my piano-playing. He also saw a camera, oh…probably because I model sometimes. Then he saw a sword-shaped charm, but it wasn’t an actual sword. Wow, a foil! She remembered that I fence! And the last charm on the bracelet was 2 Chinese symbols melded together. Hmm, he pondered in his head, I know this is a Chinese symbol for a letter, but I can’t remember which one. Then it hit him…it was the letter “M”.

It stood for Marinette.

Adrien let his head drop as he sighed. “This is amazing,” he whispered to himself. “And I couldn’t even say thank you?”  He took the bracelet and wrapped it around his wrist, clicking the two parts together. “I’ll make this up to her, I promise.”

Adrien pulled out his cell phone and proceeded to call someone. Someone on the other end picked up. “Natalie,” he started, “it’s Adrien. Do you think you can do me a favor?”

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Marinette was resting her head in her arms. She was able to hold back her tears…for the time being. Alya sat next to her as she patted her friend on the back.

“Now what exactly did he say?” Alya questioned her friend.

Marinette lifted her head. “That’s the problem,” she responded, “he didn’t say anything. He just stood there and stuttered! I knew this was a bad idea.” She put her head back on the desk.

“Oh c’mon, now! If he didn’t know what to say, that probably means you surprised him. That doesn’t mean he didn’t like it.” Alya always did her best to comfort a friend. She was pretty good at making Marinette smile in a bad situation.

“Yeah…,” Marinette turned her head towards her friend without lifting it from the desk. “But he looked confused and…” she stopped there. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. She just wanted to go home.

The first bell rang, alerting the students that they had 5 minutes before classes started. At the same time, Adrien walked into class. Marinette didn’t notice because her head was still on the table, but Alya saw him. She started grinning from ear to ear, shaking Marinette.

“Now tell me, Marinette. If he didn’t like your present, would he be wearing it right now?”

“WHAT?” she yelled, pulling her head up as fast as humanly possible. She caught sight of Adrien’s left wrist. And just as Alya said, there was her bracelet around his wrist. She would have died from happiness at that moment if her friend hadn’t snapped her fingers in front of her.

“Hey!” Alya snapped. “Earth to Marinette! He’s walking towards you!”

Marinette blinked a few times and shook her head, just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Sure enough, Adrien stood right next to her, smiling his cute smile.

“Hi, again,” Adrien said shyly as he put his one hand behind his head, rubbing his neck. “Listen, about earlier, I’m really sorry. You just took me by surprise. I wanted to thank you, the charm bracelet you gave me is beautiful. I felt bad about not having anything for you, so I had my dad’s assistant bring me something from my house just now. Sorry I didn’t have time to properly wrap it.”

It was then that Marinette saw Adrien held a very tiny red gift bag in his hand. He put it down in front of Marinette’s unmoving body.

“I…I…I…” she stuttered over and over. Alya pinched her friend in the arm, trying to break the cycle. It worked. “Ow!”

Both Adrien and Alya laughed with Marinette as she rubbed her arm. She glared at Alya for a fraction of a second before turning back to Adrien.

“Thank you…so much!” she almost shrieked. “But…you didn’t need to get me anything.”

“Oh, yes I did!” Adrien smoothly responded. “But I didn’t buy you anything…” He gestured her to open the small package. Slowly, Marinette removed the tissue paper from the bag to see what lied beneath.

What she pulled out was one of the most beautiful and original hair clip she had ever seen.

It was gold and silver in color, with glitter of the same colors outlining the clasp itself, and covered in decretive bejeweled patterns. Marinette was speechless, so Adrien began again.

“It was my mother’s. My dad bought it for her on their honeymoon. After she…passed, my father put all of her jewelry in a box in her bedroom. I knew it wasn’t being used, so I want you to have this.”

“Adrien…” Marinette whispered, “this is beautiful. But you know I can’t accept this. It was your mother’s.”

“Please,” he begged, “I want you to have it. My dad and I aren’t going to wear it.” He chuckled a little bit. “And I know you’ll look great in it.” He took her hand and kissed it lightly. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Marinette.”

Adrien walked then walked away to take his seat in front of the two girls. Both Alya’s and Marinette’s mouths were wide open in disbelief and amazement. The two girls looked at each other and smiled at each other for the longest time.

And then the final bell rang, signaling that class has begun. The teacher walked into class.

“Good morning, class. And Happy Valentine’s Day! I brought a little something for all of you to celebrate the holiday.” The teacher pulled out a bag full of chocolate candies. As he walked around giving out the chocolate, Marinette starred at her hand. I am never going to wash this hand ever again, she thought.

****************************************************************************************************

That night, Marinette couldn’t concentrate. She wanted to get her homework done as quickly as possible, but she just couldn’t start it. All she could think about was Adrien and the gift that he gave her. She went over to the small red bag and pulled out the hair clip. She took out her two hair ties, letting her hair fall. She grabbed a scrunchy from her dresser and pulled her hair into a single ponytail. She then took the clamp and placed in carefully in her now tied up hair. Almost running to her mirror, she looked to both the left and the right to see how she looked.

“It’s lovely, Marinette,” Tikki said as she floated to Marinette’s side.

“I know, it’s wonderful,” Marinette responded as she adjusted her clip slightly.

“You seem a wee distracted,” Tikki chimed in. “Would you like to get some fresh air?”

“Yeah,” Marinette sighed. “That does sound nice. But…oh no…”

“What is it?” Tikki questioned.

“I’ll bet I’ll run into Cat Noir tonight.” She shook her head, but with a slight smile on her face. He’s sweet and all, but her heart belongs to Adrien. “And what do you think the chances are of him giving me something for Valentine’s Day?”

“Good point,” Tikki answered. “What should we do?”

Marinette tapped her finger to her chin. “I think I’ll just give him some sweets from the bakery. I hope cats like cookies!” She giggled and she walked down the stairs into her parent’s bakery. Her parents weren’t home tonight, they left to go out on a romantic dinner.

“I’ll just leave some money here for the cookies. Hopefully they won’t be too mad. After all, they aren’t for me.” She grabbed some money from her purse and put it in the cash register. She went to the back room and put the cookies inside of a small carrying case. “There,” she said confidently, “that should be good enough. Ready to go, Tikki?”

She ran back up to her room. “Transform, Ladybug!” Her normal clothes were changed into her skin-tight spotted suit. When she had fully changed into Ladybug, she grabbed her yo-yo and swung from her window onto a nearby rooftop. She began to run.

****************************************************************************************************

Tonight was so peaceful. Usually there would be a Hawk Moth attack, but not that night. There was a clear sky, not a single cloud could be seen. And the Eiffel Tower illuminated the city, creating a warm glow that seemed to surround all of Paris. Marinette stopped on one of the rooftops, just to take in the sights. She had lived in Paris her whole life, but every time she saw it, it felt like the first time. And from the top of a roof, it was an even more incredible sight. The roof she was standing on had a flat surface for part of it, so she decided to take a seat, letting her feet dangle off the side. All was quiet, that is, until she heard a faint but playful laughter from a familiar voice. She laughed softly as she starred into the shadows on the roof directly across from her.

“How did I know I would see you tonight?” she joked as Cat Noir leaped across to the building to where Ladybug was sitting. He was able to land on the roof holding something behind his back with his left hand. “Wow, impressive! I thought cats needed all four limbs to land perfectly,” Ladybug teased.

“Ah”, Cat Noir purred, “I practiced just for you, my lady.”

“What’s behind your back there? You didn’t steal anything again, did you?” she prodded.

“Hey, I never stole anything in the first place!” he complained. “You know that wasn’t me! But before I give you my gift, I see you have something for me, my lady. Have you finally realized your love for me?”

Ladybug rolled her eyes. “You would like that, wouldn’t you? No, I just figured you would have something for me and I didn’t want to come empty handed. I just bought you some cookies from this local bakery in town.” She handed the box to the black cat, still looming above her. “Enjoy.”

They both laughed as Cat Noir joined Ladybug by sitting right beside her, opening the box and eating the first cookie. He had to admit, it was nice to just chill with Ladybug, not fighting supervillains or anything. Now, they were just two heroes, spending time together under a Paris moon. He was about to say something else, until he noticed her hair was different than what it usually is.

“And I must say, your hair looks quite adorable in a ponytail,” he said sweetly.

“Well, thank you, kind sir. I thought I would try something different.” She reached behind her and pulled out the clip. “This clip was given to me as a Valentine’s Day gift.”

Silence. That was all there was after she spoke. Cat Noir’s eyes widened, mouth hung open with disbelief. Nothing could be heard but the whistle of the wind. It was a good 15 second before anything was said.

“Hey, Cat,” Ladybug snapped. “Hey, what’s wrong? Is it something I said?”

Another 20 seconds passed, more silence. Finally Cat Noir spoke. “Who…who did you say…gave you that,” he stammered, his hand slightly shaking as he pointed to the clip.

Ladybug was extremely confused at this point. Why would a hair clip leave Cat Noir speechless, the guy she couldn’t get to shut up for anything? “Um, a guy that I go to school with…he gave this to me.” She started to blush. “He told me it was his mother’s and he wanted me to have it. You wouldn’t know him.”

Cat Noir sighed, closed his eyes and let his head drop.

“Actually, I know exactly who you’re talking about.” He reached behind him and presented Ladybug with a single black rose. As he stuck out his arm, something dangled on his wrist. Something silver. Something that sparkled.

It was the charm bracelet.

He handed her the rose. “I’m sorry…Marinette. No wonder I was so mesmerized by Ladybug. It was because you were the one behind the mask.” He then looked up, and proceeded to remove his mask.

Ladybug, awestruck, was now the one who was speechless. She set the rose down and removed her mask as well.

They were no longer the superheroes Cat Noir and Ladybug, they were just Adrien and Marinette, sitting together on a cool Paris night.

“Well, this might be the most awkward night of my life,” Adrien said quietly, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. He starred at her, hoping she would respond. She said nothing. She was still looking down at her now removed mask she held in her hands.

But then, there was laughter. A lot of laughter.

Marinette started laughing like she never laughed in her life. It was a cheerful, yet relieved kind of laughter. It was so infectious, that Adrien joined in her laughter. They laughed for a good minute before they finally calmed down and were able to collect their thoughts again.

“Wow,” Marinette finally spoke after what seemed like a lifetime. “Cat Noir is Adrien Agreste. This makes things so much easier.”

“Huh?” Adrien asked. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, I’ve had a major crush on you, Adrien, for the longest time. And you, Cat Noir, fancied me, Ladybug, for a while now too. Don’t you see? We always liked each other, just in different ways.” She smiled at him and looked back to the sky. Adrien did the same thing.

“Heh, I guess things won’t be the same from now on.” Adrien spoke softly.

“So…what do we do now?” Marinette questioned, looking back at Adrien.

A big grin swept across his face as he picked up the black rose. “Well, my lady, it is Valentine’s Day. There is one thing I can think of.” He moved his eye brows up and down and put the rose between his teeth.

Marinette giggled. “You know,” Marinette spoke softly as she crept closer and closer to Adrien’s face, “I was thinking the same thing.”

Adrien removed the rose from his mouth, cut the stem with his claw, and put the rose behind Marinette’s ear. He grabbed her face, closed his eyes, and proceeded to kiss her slowly, gently, intimately. Savoring the moment. They released their lips, starring into each other’s eyes. Marinette leaned towards his ear, and whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day” before locking lips once more.

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WELL, THERE YOU GO! MY FIRST SHORT STORY FOR MIRACULOUS LADYBUG! IT TURNED OUT A LOT LONGER THAN ORIGINALLY INTENDED, BUT I THINK IT STILL TURNED UT GOOD. I HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING THIS, AND THANK YOU TO USER ursopanda FOR THE PROMPT! IF YOU GUYS LIKED THIS ONE, LET ME KNEW AND I’LL WRITE SOME MORE! THANK YOU GUYS!!

awkwardpariah said: What prompted this new addition?

(In re: Jiji’s introductory post, because I am that slow about answering these things.)

We’ve been kicking around the idea of adopting a third cat for some time now, mostly for the benefit of Konstantin and Peter. Konstantin is a very attention-centric cat who likes to roughhouse, but since we work all of the time and Peter doesn’t enjoy rough play, he’s been getting a little neurotic. And I mean, trying to eat plastic bags and lick everything to death neurotic. Peter, on the other hand, seemed in need of anything to divert Konstantin’s attention away from him – he was getting smothered and stand-offish because of it.

So! The solution seemed simple enough: get a new guy to break up bad habits. We wanted our new cat to be one that was in genuine need, such as an older cat (not the best option, since its main job was to be a playmate) or a young cat with a non-limiting disability of some kind. Unfortunately, those sorts of cats hardly ever get adopted, so we kept our search strictly to that criteria.

We found one cat, had our heart set on him, but the application fell through. We went to the shelter again, not expecting to actually find one, mostly to just enjoy visiting some cats, but there (soon-to-be-)Jiji was, mewing and reaching out from his cage. Everyone else in the shelter was ignoring him, except for a couple who, no joke, said “ew” when they saw him. So, we popped open his door and he immediately crawled onto K’s shoulder and fell asleep purring his head off. K got misty-eyed and just stood there, stroking him in silence while I had a laugh about it. The shelter volunteer who checked on us didn’t even ask if we wanted him, she just said, “I’ll go get a box for him.”

Since then, he’s been a perfect fit for our little creature-based family. Konstantin hasn’t been acting neurotic thanks to long play-sessions and Peter, weirdly enough, has been more social towards us than ever. I don’t believe much in fate, especially when it comes to life’s minutiae, but this is pretty damned close.

And sorry that your innocent question got a torrent of new-pet-parent gushing. It had to come out.

anonymous asked:

what's your theory on some wholesale websites having irregular service? because ive kind of had nice and normal experiences with some of the 'scam' websites like BH and sammydress, but other people say at the same time they've had really bad experiences? are they just a bit erratic?

ooooooooooooh i have a lot of thoughts about this, actually. so i’m going to put this under a cut, because it’s something i think about a lot and i’m afraid it will get long, lmao!

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