break-ups

It always amazes me how much I can care about a person. I can take a lot of shit and always see the good inside of them. I will stick with that person until the end, I will go out of my way to improve their mindset, thoughts and lifestyle. I’m loyal beyond measure and I love until my hearts content, but as soon as my intuition speaks and I get an epiphany and finally realise that it’s not mutual or reciprocated, I immediately switch off. I carry on with life as if they never existed, and it rarely hurts because I love myself enough to know when to stop. People prey on those with low self esteem and sometimes your kindness can be mistaken for that, but let me tell you.. that is certainly not me. I always think to myself, there are so many ways people can hurt you, but they should morally draw the line at love, because it’s not a game. Once I realised that this person I’ve gone out of my way to care about, can continually disrespect me with no hesitation, they are no longer alive to me and I refuse to entertain anything that has no life in it.
—  Meggan Roxanne
how to get over someone

1. delete everything to do with them from your phone. EVERYTHING.

2. burn anything given to you.
(drawings, letters, clothes,etc.)

3. do NOT at all costs listen to those songs until you are completely over him. you know which ones im talking about.

4.work on yourself, get your nails done, workout, read books, take baths, treat yourself and better yourself as a person

5. flirt with others, be free you ARE single, dont take it for granted. rebounds are allowed/expected/necessary

6. If you do end up getting a boyfriend/girlfriend take things slow. don’t rush and don’t get attached too fast. its okay to take precaution but dont let it ruin your life.

7. LIVE YO LIFE LIKE THE HOT INTELLIGENT KIND SPUNKY PIECE OF ASS YOU ARE.

I hate you [I love you]

Finally deleted the pictures of you
That had been living in my phone so long
Does that make me the stronger man?
Or the weaker one, because I couldn’t handle
Another day still clutching at the memories of you

And it breaks my heart to say so
But maybe we were made to let go.

To be really honest with myself
I can’t fucking believe
I let you ruin my favorite places
And make me turn around to see
You in everyone’s faces

I still look for you in every crowd
Even when I know for a fact you will not be around

Sweetheart,
You broke me in ways
I didn’t think were possible
Humanity itself had never seen
So many broken bones,
Or such a massacred heart

Because I didn’t just fall for you
I rolled and stumbled -
Kicked and screamed for you.
Like the mad woman I am
I fought for you
I cried and bled from my lungs for you
All the way down
And you stood at the top,
Watching me go

Losing him was hard,
It was like the feeling you get
When you turn off the music
And are left in the silence of a room

The saddest part was that
Once the music was off
I had to suffer in silence
Unable to turn it back on

Sweetheart,
Nothing lingered. Not even you

It’s strange that I could even believe
Even if just for a moment
That you couldve loved me too
I guess you were kissing a fool

And yet, I still think of you so much.
I wonder if you think of me
As often as I think of you

And now,
The sun will rise again
And so will I
Maybe not brighter than before
But definitely stronger
Because I will mend the cracks you left on me
And someday light will shine through them
Just you wait and see

If life takes us in different directions, please remember me as someone who always smiled and laughed loud. Someone who was always happy. Please remember all the times I made you laugh and all the times that I annoyed you with my love but you loved me anyway. Please remember all the good times that we had and the laughs that we shared and love that was between us. Remember our first kiss and the first time you told me that you were in love with me and how I smiled because I was so indescribably happy. Remember when you let me into your life, and how you let me see you cry and how I stroked your hair and you fell asleep in my lap.

Don’t remember the fights we had or the terrible times we went through. Don’t think of all the times I threw things at you and all the times we almost broke up. Don’t think of how we ended.

Think of me happy. Because that’s what I’ll do with you.

—  D.N. // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #26
He said to say “When”
as he poured me a glass of
his
favorite wine,
as we sat on the ugly couch
he bought for our anniversary,
preparing to watch a movie
of the loathsome Sci-fi genre that
he’d been wanting to see.
I let him fill my cup to the brim, and he said,
Wow, Honey, are you in a mood tonight? with
that stupid grin on his face.
I smiled back at that scrumptious idiot look 
and snarled mischievously, seductively, that I always was,
probably always will be.
And as he leaned in for a dirty kiss I stood up,
slowly tipped the glass of wine to the freshly cleaned cream
carpet, picked up the keys to my already-packed car
off of the kitchen table, looked him in those
horrified eyes, and said
When.
—  Kayla Kathawa // Saying My Mother’s Goodbyes

In the end, after it was all over, after he broke my heart and left me and betrayed my trust, I knew that maybe he did love me.

Maybe he did at one point and maybe at one point I was everything to him.

But in the end, I needed him more than he needed me. I needed him way more than he needed me.

And that’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.

—  D.N. // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #54

When I went through my first major breakup, I let myself go to a very dark, heartbroken place. Consolations like, “You’ll get over it eventually” or “At least now you know what you want from a relationship,” meant nothing to me. I just wanted to sit at home, lean into the pain and listen to the most depressing music I could find.

The thing is, all of those miserable songs actually made me feel better. It was as if Karen Carpenter, Elliott Smith and Otis Redding were giving me permission to just feel sad. I didn’t have to make intentionally distracting social plans or download Tinder or do anything resembling “moving on.” I could just lie upside-down in my bed and let myself wallow in pure, musical catharsis.

My playlist may not work for everyone, but hopefully the songs will give a few heartbroken people something to cling to until they reach the empowered, Gloria Gaynor phase of newfound singledom – sort of like musical morphine for the pain.

Go here for a Spotify playlist of the songs.

vine

Musicians aren’t the best to be around during a break-up

You don’t understand,“ she said, her voice breaking slightly.

His eyebrows crinkled and his gaze shifted from looking at the floor to her eyes.

“Look. I know that you love me. And you know that I love you back,” and then she swallowed hard, because what she would say next would be the biggest decision of her life. “But I can’t just sit here while I’m waiting for you to come back.”

The tears began to spill from her eyes. She walked up to where the love of her life was standing, and reached a hand up to touch his cheek lightly.

And then she closed her eyes. “This is how it has to be.. You can’t call me. You can’t text me. You can’t email me, or ask about me, or have anything to do with me. Listen to me, okay? This is what you’re going to do.”

He reached up his thumbs to brush away her tears.

“You’re going to pack the rest of your things. You’re going to get on that plane. You’re going to live your life without me. And you won’t look back. You’re going to be happy.

—  D.N. // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #21