It won’t hit you until the morning after, when you wake up without them next to you.
It won’t hit you until you’re out with your friends and their name won’t be mentioned even once.
It won’t hit you until it’s three a.m. and you’ve checked your phone’s messages multiple times but nothing is there.
It won’t hit you until you’re at the supermarket and you’ll have nobody to double check what you need with.
It won’t hit you until you’ve got the greatest news and you can’t tell the person you’d always tell first.
It won’t hit you until you’re watching a movie that you’d usually watch with them, and when that scene where the both of you died of laughter plays, you find yourself sitting in silence.
It won’t hit you until you see a couple across the street gazing into each other’s eyes when you’ll miss the familiarity.
It won’t hit you until you’re drunk and lonely, when you’ll miss being held.
It won’t hit you until you’re finally at your best, but they’re not there.
It will hit you then, that you’re doing okay.
That your heart is still beating,
that you can survive without the help of anybody.
That you can be happy on your own,
that when you thought you’d be sad over it forever, you were wrong.
When that happens,
I want you to know
that without you,
their life wouldn’t have been the same
and sometimes they feel lost without you too.
It’s just a mess in my head right now because I want to keep talking to him in case I light an old spark and everything falls back into place but then it could backfire and just happen to me and i’ll get hurt trying for something that could never happen.
When there are more tears than smiles, leave. When there are more fights than jokes, leave. When it hurts more than it feels good, leave. They don’t have the right to destroy you just because you love them. And loving them doesn’t mean you have to stay.
I’m giving up, it’s taken me so long to realise that you aren’t the love of my life, and maybe this was all for the best. All I know is that I am good enough for anyone, and I hate that you ever made me feel otherwise.
I’m sorry about everything that happened between us. I’m sorry that this is the best we could do. I’m sorry that this was all the time we were allowed. I’m sorry I can’t get over it. I’m sorry I still think about you.
I’m sorry it took me so long to say this.