break through it all

Okay but. Stiles doesn’t touch anyone else in the series the way he touches Lydia.

It’s actually insane, the way he touches her. His hands are always on her, it’s like they’re just drawn to her. He has this constant, natural, knee-jerk instinct to let her know with his hands that he’s there for her, that he’s not going anywhere, that he cares.

And, above all, that’s soft. Think about all the times that Jackson touched her and if it didn’t bruise her skin, it bruised pieces of her mind. And then there’s Stiles Stilinski, who touches her face like she’s so beautiful he’s afraid to break her. Who touches her back to guide her through doorways because after all those years of making out with Jackson in public places with absolutely zero decency, he still perceives her to be a goddamn lady. Who holds her hand when she needs comfort or to run because touching her feels like it matters.

He doesn’t make conscious decisions to be there for her like that. He doesn’t think to himself “Okay, now I’m gonna touch Lydia’s elbow.” He just does it, and he never second guesses. And how weird is that? Because Lydia has never indicated to him that it’s okay, and yet it is. They both know it is.

Stiles doesn’t place his hand on anybody else’s back when he walks through doorways with them. He doesn’t make eye contact in the same way. He doesn’t give people huge, enormous chunks of himself without expecting something back.

This is for Lydia. Lydia, who has never been treated delicately, who has never been loved as fully as this, who has gone through her life thinking that the best thing for her to do is draw a veil between herself and who she projects to the world.

Stiles lifts the veil without ever asking for it to be removed. He teaches her what genuine affection and love feels like. He fucking pays attention to her in ways that are deeper than even STILES grasps.

And sometimes I just think that Stiles said he was in love with her, he shouted it from the rooftops, but even then, he didn’t understand how in love with her he was. He didn’t understand how incredibly unique it was to be magnetized towards someone like this. When they touch each other, it feels like the millionth time and the first time simultaneously.

I don’t think he realizes just how much he loves her until suddenly it builds up and makes him physically weak.

He watches her bleeding out on that floor and he can’t move because the love he feels for her is thumping through his veins and he’s fucking shocked by it. He’s literally taken aback by how much he loves her.

He knew. He knew. But… maybe a part of him didn’t.

Maybe he touched her like that, all these years, because his hands knew what his head hadn’t caught up to, no matter how many times he fixated on Lydia Martin and fell asleep thinking about her and watched her in class.

Because as valuable as Stiles Stilinsk’s head is, maybe his body knew way before he did that Lydia Martin was the person whose skin would become home to his hands.

Can we take a moment to talk about Jace this episode? He finds out that he is the “morning star” that is able to touch the mortal sword, deactivating it, but in the result killing himself because he too has demon blood. He was willing to kill himself to prevent Valentine from killing the downworld, he was ready to die, then and there. He was willing to leave his parabatai, his family, and his new found family (Clary). But what happens is what breaks my heart. It was all a lie, he went through Aldertree, his other shadowhunter comrades, and the Clave looking down at him for what he had no control of. For something that Valentine did. And to find out that Valentine not only lied about the demon blood, but lied that Clary is his sister, and then the last blow, that this whole time, Valentine was never even his father. And to think he was willing to die, but that willingness killed the downworlders in the vacinity. Then when his parabatai, his brother comes in to find all the downworlders dead? The look on Jace’s face when he speaks up and tells Alec that is wasn’t Clary that activated the sword, but it was him that caused it, the amount of heartbreak on his face. The sadness of possibly causing the death of someone that Alec cares about. The person that has made Alec happier than Jace has ever seen him. I just really love Jace, he isn’t perfect, but he tries…he really tries.

Jake English is the most intelligent character in Homestuck. And he hides it deliberately.

For a given value of “intelligence”, anyway. I don’t hold that much truck with the concept in general–there are different kinds of intelligence that run the gamut of human skills, and reducing that to a single concept is reductive, to say the least.

However, it’s hard to deny that there are real cultural forces in our society that do treat intelligence as a monolithic descriptor of skill and worth, and it’s a cultural idea as pervasive in reality as it is in Jake’s character arc.

For that reason alone, I’ll be using “intelligence” as a term referring to Jake’s awareness of and competence at identifying and solving problems throughout this sequence. The term as I am using it here is only relevant in the context of the themes and language Homestuck sets up. 

Intelligence, competence, and awareness are key parts of Jake’s relationship with the people around him, and particularly with the way he is dehumanized, taken for granted, and abused. 

In fact, almost every character Jake is close to in canon questions his intelligence at some point:

And this dynamic isn’t just present in the characters. It’s in the fandom as well. 
Fandom perception of Jake English often considers him comically unaware of his surroundings and reality, dense and slow or even straight up unable to pick up on ideas that come naturally to many of the other characters.

This is true across the board of opinions of his character: Some consider Jake a self-absorbed, thoughtless asshole, others still consider him a helpless victim who isn’t quite quick enough on the uptake to keep up with how he’s manipulated by others.

It’s hard for us–the fandom, I mean–to be sure of just how much Jake understood about how badly Lil Hal treated him (and by association, Dirk, in much of the fandom’s eyes). Or that Jane liked him. Among other things. It’s part of the general air of helplessness and incompetence that surrounds Pages, I guess, and air set up around Jake for quite a lot of his narrative:

(Note: This is Brain Ghost Dirk specifically questioning Jake’s intelligence.  
I hope you’ve got some good note taking pens, because this is going to be important later.)


It’s pretty much accepted that the degree and reach of Jake’s intelligence is, at the very least, a matter of debate. I am here to say that it is not. At all. And I can prove it. By allowing ourselves to doubt Jake’s intelligence, we–the fandom– have performed the equivalent of deciding Dave’s cool guy act is the real deal. 

We have fallen for Jake’s bluff. I’ll explain. 

Plenty of people are aware that Knights, as a class, tend to act out personas that reflect ideas about how they think they should act. 
For Dave, that’s the stoic Cool Guy archetype, which he eventually grows out of:

For Karkat, it’s his ideas of being a Ruthless Big Shot Leader, which he also outgrows by the end: 

And Latula has the thing about being a R4D SK4T3R G4M3G1RL!!! I don’t really think we need a quote to establish that–Dave and Karkat prove my point well enough, and this is pretty much common fandom knowledge. 

What I don’t think is common fandom knowledge is that Pages do the same thing, but for a different purpose. Pages and Knights both set up Personas that they project into the outside world. And both of them do it to control how other people perceive them. But for different reasons.

Knights do it because they want to be perceived as capable, in control, and unflappable, basically. Karkat wants everyone to rely on his executive ability as a Leader. Dave wants to be admired and validated by his friends, or. Well. Anyone. In essence, Knights want to be relied on by others. 

Pages, on the other hand, develop this fabricated identity for themselves. At this point, I should mention I’ve come to agree with Tex Talk’s view that Knights are a passive class and Pages are an active one. 

Knights use their aspect to benefit others. Pages use it to benefit themselves.

Horrus develops a strangely blank persona, so conspicuously fake it is hard to tell if he even reacts to input–so it’s easy for him to just pretend he didn’t hear it when Rufioh tells him he wants to break up–again, I don’t really feel like going through all of Openbound to get all the screencaps and I don’t think they warrant that much space on this post. 

Tavros does the same thing, enveloping himself in his games and fantasy so much that he veers away from almost any responsibility in the session, and does only what he wants to…unless Vriska is stealing that ability from him. However, even through her abuse,  Tavros manages through sheer presentation of his person to encourage the other trolls to help take care of him. 

Specifically, by giving him increased mobility–mobility and freedom of movement being concepts closely related to Breath. It’s worth mentioning Tavros is able to inspire this care not just in Kanaya, but in Equius, who looks down upon lowbloods and whose culture would have encouraged him to KILL Tavros for his weakness rather than help him. 

But because of Vriska’s exploitative and cruel influence on him, I’m not sure to what extent he really lives up to his full potential. That said, he DOES manage to completely live out his own personal fantasy, coming to embody both his childhood image of Peter Pan…

BUT ALSO being the only one of the Alternian trolls to accomplish his original childhood goal: Becoming a Cavalreaper.

Get it? He’s literally cavalry. Ha ha. Is this kind of a fucked up victory? Maybe, yeah. But it’s fitting that the character obsessed with the Peter Pan fantasy of leading a troupe of “Lost Boys” never really grows up with the goals he sets for himself. Maybe it says something about Tavros, or about the nature of Ghosts–either way, it definitely seems intentional. 

Anyway, the Ghosts are another essay for another time. Time to talk about the kid I actually want to talk about:

Jake English has a fabricated persona, too. For Horuss, it’s nothingness. For Tavros, it’s endless childhood and Peter Pan. But Jake’s persona is a contrast to Dirk’s (and Dave’s) Cool Guy persona. Personas that, for each of them, sit at the dead opposite end of the spectrum from who all three characters actually are. 

And for Jake’s constructed persona is that of the Hot-Headed Hero.

And like Horrus and Tavros, Jake indulges this fantasy version of himself even when he actively knows it makes no sense to do so, simply because it’s the fantasy about his life he wants to live out. 


But like Dave and Dirk’s presentation of themselves as cool guys unphased by anything, this persona is a complete lie.

Jake is demonstrably extremely nerdy…

He collects pointless minutiae about his favorite movies and comic books. He looks up to comic book heroines so much he wants to dress up like them. 

And also intelligent, curious, and good at evaluating the potential consequences of his actions–traits he literally willfuly holds himself back from. 


His Modus is by far the most complex of all the kids. He uses a Puzzle Modus that allows him to fit any amount of items he wants in it’s storage space…so long as he can successfully spatially fit every single object within a finite space. 

And Jake captchalogues a LOT of shit. Meaning he has to keep all of this inventory and know how to spatially navigate it to fit everything he wants at all times. And he does this casually, as a part of his daily interactions with the world around him. 

But perhaps more telling than that is how Brain Ghost Dirk describes his own creation: 

Brain Ghost Dirk implies that he is a Dirk splinter, but specifically a Dirk splinter that exists entirely through the ideas Jake has about Dirk. 

In other words, Jake knows and understands Dirk so well that he can pretty much perfectly remember his body, movements and mannerisms on command. Again, not even actively, it’s just kind of how Jake English rolls-thinking about Dirk all the time is the status quo. 

And Brain Ghost Dirk claims to be Jake’s literal brain, talking back to him.

Which means when Brain Ghost Dirk calls Jake out on something, he is forcibly communicating important information to Jake that Jake is actively choosing to ignore. It’s Jake talking to himself, not Dirk giving Jake information he doesn’t have by talking to him through Brain Ghost Dirk.

We have reason to believe the Ghost about this, since Dirk never expresses having any awareness of Brain Ghost Dirk’s existence. 

So what important information does Jake willingly ignore? Well, earlier we saw him justify beating up a random alien girl even though a part of his brain knew she wasn’t actually Sea Hitler, and he kind of just wanted to play the part. But surely we can do better than that. How about everything about his friends’ feelings about him that makes him uncomfortable?

Callmearcturus wrote this brilliant thesis outlining why she thinks Jake deliberately manipulated Jane into failing to confess to him
, but I’m gonna run over it real quick to ground it in this context and sell you on the idea that this is, in fact, not a theory and explicit canon.

Because we don’t need to guess at this by reverse-engineering Jake’s well-established feelings for Dirk. Roxy literally tells him Jane has these feelings before Jane herself does:

Jake recognizes what Roxy is saying, and guesses what she was alluding to on her own. Roxy doesn’t deny it by any measure, and when she asks Jake to drop the issue, Jake says he understands the dilemma this puts her in with Jane. 

To stress: He received this information in confidence and knows it for a fact. And he trusts the information he receives so much that he then ACTS on it. After talking to Roxy, Jake messages Jane himself, OPENING by mentioning Roxy told him Jane was going to be contacting him.

And then he himself broaches the subject of their romantic feelings for each other:

But when Jane outright asks him if he has something he wants to say to her, Jake expertly dodges the question, keeping his options open while putting the onus of taking the first step and revealing her feelings on Jane again. 

And then, once he’s got her trying to answer…

He KEEPS asking her, interrupting her several times while she starts to try sorting out her thoughts. He puts Jane under a LOT of pressure here, which…considering Jake literally KNOWS the answer, is a pretty shitty thing to do! Even if Roxy hadn’t LITERALLY TOLD HIM mere minutes ago, Jane’s reactions here would have confirmed Jake’s suspicions beyond a reasonable shadow of a doubt. 

Unless, of course, one has a reputation for not thinking things through or being aware of their surroundings. 

Once Jake has his answer, he doubles back, making sure to ask her AGAIN while she’s off balance….

And he then shuts her down when she tries to take the initiative on taking it back and being honest, quickly following up by IMMEDIATELY letting her know he’s relieved about this–signaling his disinterest BEFORE she has a chance to reveal she actually does have a stake in the matter.

He then uses his goofy, unaware, trusting persona to set up a status quo where Jane continually helps him by acting as a sounding board for all his thoughts about Dirk–essentially, putting Jane inside a gender-flipped version of the laughable stereotype of The Friend Zone.

But wait a minute. Jane is one thing. But if Jake is actually this smart, aware, and capable–then it kind of has ramifications across all of his character interactions. What else changes if we read Jake this way? I know I said my next post would be on Roxy, but, uh…yeah. This one kind of got away from me. 

In our next entry, we’re going to talk about Why Jake does what he does, and Why he seems so genuinely confused about it later into his narrative. We’re also going to look at some of the other consequences his Jake’s approach to his friendships has for his friends. 

We’ll also make a case for Why exactly Jake ultimately falls in love with Dirk Strider, how and when Jake demonstrates and acts on that love, and if I can manage to squeeze it in–maybe even uncover the way the Heart aspects’ two different themes of  Souls and Romance/Shipping are conceptually connected.

And on that note, it’s worth pointing out that there’s one notable exception to the list of people fooled by Jake’s presented persona. One character who not only never talks Jake’s intelligence down…

But instead talks Jake’s intelligence UP when he talks badly about himself. 

Dirk Strider.

See you again soon, everyone. 

Until then, Keep Rising. 

anonymous asked:

“I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.” for Moriel (I don't know if I'm ready for this)

(…….I apologise in advance for what’s to follow…Sad. Very sad. Seriously. Avert ur eyes now if this is maybe not ur cup of tea. EXTREME SADNESS (ie death) WARNING.) 


The cool, crisp fresh air of the Illyrian mountains is a welcome balm upon her feverish, sweaty skin. Mor pauses, drawing out this moment just a little longer, when she winnows onto the base of the high, sharply sloping hill. He waits for her at the top but she indulges, savouring the sweet, rich taste of the air. She’s been trapped inside too long, a cage of her own making, for her own penance but…For him she had let herself loose this day, this one day. 

Her calves burn as she sets to climbing, higher, higher, higher, panting for breath halfway up. She should just turn around, go back, try again another day, she isn’t ready for this, she isn’t strong enough, she’s never been strong enough for this but- But she has to do it today. She has to. 

The soft fingers of wind that had murmured at her in Velaris are replaced by a different monster out here. This gale tugs sharply at her hair, tossing it, unbound as it is, into great clouds of gold, curling around her head, a halo gilded by the sun overhead, one she doesn’t deserve. It tears at her dress, loose and uncharacteristically plain, pure white and simply cut. Her feet are bare, the harsh grass of these lands grazes against her skin but she barely notices. 

Her heart is in her throat as she reaches the crest of the hill, her chest is tight, her body shaking. She clenches her firsts. She can do this. She can do this. She’s survived everything else this world has thrown at her in the past. She can survive this too….If she does…She’ll know she can survive anything. 

With small, slow, tremulous steps, she approaches him, sitting down beside him she bows her head, tugging at her pendent, squeezing the smooth stone tight in her palm, rubbing her thumb absently over it again and again, letting that help steady her pounding heart. 

Staring straight ahead of her, the wind falling silent, as though the world holds its breath and waits for her to speak, to say the words she’s kept inside her heart for five hundred years at long last. “I’m sorry,” she begins tremulously, “I should have come to see you sooner than this I…I know that.” She swallows tightly, still staring at the landscape around her. Beautiful. Wild and untamed and utterly raw. She understands why he’d wanted it to be here. It’s perfect. 

“I hope you can forgive me,” she breathes, fingers absently tugging up long strands of grass, weaving them together, needing to keep her hands busy as she says this, give herself something else to look at. “I know you understand why- It was…It hard. It hurt. I hurt and I needed some time I…I hope you can forgive me,” she says again. She knows in her heart that he will but…The words are spilling from her and she’s barely in control of the torrent that escapes her. They’ve been kept inside for too long. They know themselves what she needs to tell him, better than she knows herself. 

“But I’m here now,” she says, voice a little stronger with that admission. She’s doing it. She’s surviving it. This isn’t breaking her, it can’t, it won’t, she won’t allow it to. “There’s something I have to tell you, Azriel…Something I should have told you..So long ago but…We weren’t ready. I’m still not ready but…I have to say it. I have to.” 

He won’t interrupt her now, not now that she’s finally begun. She has all the time in the world to say this to him. The only small blessing from everything that’s come crashing down around them all recently. 

Swallowing, Mor forces herself to suck in a deep breath, her lungs protest, seeming to be made of stone, burning as she tries to keep herself going, as though even her body wants to give up. No. No she can do this. For him. She can do this. 

“I’m not angry at you,” she begins slowly, “Because I know how you like to take the blame for everything, Az, but that’s not happening here. I was. I was furious with you for doing this to me but now…I’m not angry at you….Just at myself…” It shouldn’t be this hard, not after all this time, not after everything that’s happened. It shouldn’t be this hard. “Because-” She falters. Gulps down another desperate breath. Tries again. “Because I knew this would happen,” maybe not this precisely but…She had known. She had known that this path led only to destruction for her, that she would end up with her heart shattered and her soul in ashes and she had…She had. 

“But I let myself fall in love with you anyway,” she finishes, closing her eyes and letting the weight of those words, finally loosed into the world, crash over her at last. 

“It was worth it,” she says, nodding firmly. “I’m angry right now because it hurts, because I hate that I didn’t try harder to let go of you, because that would have made this so much easier but…Deep down…I know it was worth it. I know that I wouldn’t change anything. I did the right thing.” Even though she’s not sure she’ll ever be the same again, even though she feels as though a part of her has died, she still knows that she’s made the right choice all these years, that now was the moment to tell him, and not before. He hadn’t been ready. She hadn’t been ready. And Cauldron…if she’d tried to push him…What might have happened? What might she have become? This is better. No matter how much she aches…This is better. 

The wind howls mournfully around them, sweeping over the rolling hills that surround them and she closes her eyes, letting it carry her away, for just a moment, just a moment on its back. 

“I love, Az,” she whispers, as the sky darkens above them and that familiar hush falls over the world. “I’ve loved you every day for more than five hundred years. And now it’s over. Now it’s done. And I-” she breaks off, blinking away tears. “I’ll get through this. I know you’d want me to. And you damn well better appreciate it because I have no idea how I’m going to do that but…but I will.” 

She opens her eyes again, turns at last to face him, “I will,” she breathes, stretching out a hand, “Because I love you. Because I will always love you.” Her hand presses flat against the rough stone, the carvings etched into it fresh and raw, not yet smoothed and weathered by time. She lets her fingertip trace every letter, his name, and the runes that follow.

 Azriel. Brother. Friend. Partner. ‘The noblest act in this world is also the saddest; that of burning yourself to the ground to ensure those you protect will never feel the cold.’ 

She had chosen the words to go on the headstone, words from one of his favourite poems. Rhys and Cassian had both agreed with her decision at once. She had carved them here herself using her magic. A trained stonemason could have done it better but…It had been right that she had done it. He had deserved that. One last gift from her to him, the least she could do after what he gave for them all. 

It’s been weeks since his death. She should have been here with him every damn day, should never have left his side. But the last time she managed to rise from bed was the day of his funeral. Since then she’s remained there, shut away, refusing to talk to anyone, barely eating, sleeping too much because she dreams of him and doesn’t want to wake for too long to endure the pain of living in this world without him. 

But tonight…Tonight is their night. Starfall. She’s spent every single one with him since they met. An accident for perhaps the first fifty years, then a tradition the two of them had strictly enforced. Missions and wars and kings and high lords alike had waited upon them for this one day, this one day. She couldn’t let him down. She had forced herself out of bed, not answering Cassian and Rhys’ surprised exclamations at breakfast, and had made her way out here to be with him. 

The sky darkens overhead and the first spirits begin to crest above her. She wonders if he might be among them. She hopes he is. She hopes that he’s still able to fly, at least this once, wherever he is now. 

“You’d best be waiting for me,” she finds herself whispering, her hand still pressed against the stone, resting over his name. “When I see you on the other side you better be there, Azriel, you better be ready and you better kiss me so damn hard I feel like I’m dying all over again, do you hear me?” Her voice catches, tears clogging her throat, choking off the rest of her words and she forces them all down, sitting there, tears streaming from her eyes, one hand still clutching onto him the entire time. 

She lets the rest of the night pass in total silence, watching the spirits drift down lazily from the heavens. She sees one star, burning a brighter blue than the others, lingering longer, seeming to drag itself back across the sky, forcing itself to remain longer for her so that she finds him, knows that he’s keeping up this tradition too, that he’s here with her tonight just as he’s here with her.

She remains on that hill all night, longer after the world has faded back into darkness, huddled against his grave. She doesn’t cry. All her tears are spent. She just sits beside him, holding onto him, letting the silence stretch. 

By the time Cassian comes for her in the morning she can no longer feel the cold. The boom of wings overhead has her thinking, for just a moment, that it might be him. But the tread of footsteps is off, Cassian always so much heavier and more decisive than Az, who might have hovered everywhere for all the noise he made. 

When he reaches her he brushes the tips of his fingers over the gravestone, his tribute to his fallen brother. Without a word he gently scoops her up into his arms. She doesn’t resist him, just lies limply against him as he flares his wings and takes off. As he flies them home she asks him quietly, through tears she hadn’t realised had begun to fall again, if he saw him last night as well. Cass nods, thickly murmuring that he did. 

Mor can’t help herself looking up as they fly home. She wonders if he’s still watching over them, then assures himself that he must be. Not even death could stop him from protecting those he loves; his family. She prays, though, that he manages to find some peace, some time for himself. And that she sees him again soon. This world is colder, harsher, without him in it. Strange, how the loss of a shadowsinger could leave her world so devoid of light and full of darkness. But she will see him again. And in the meantime…In the meantime she’ll live, as she would have wanted…She’ll live and find ways to show him she loves him every day so that when they find each other again…They’ll be ready. 

Lee Taeyong is such a strong and endearing individual, and he deserves all the love and respect in the world for not breaking down despite all the horrible things he went through. Being accused of something you didn’t do and having to apologize for it is one of the hardest things a person can go through. I have a lot of respect for him. 

Date a girl who is very bad at hiding the fact she is a harpy. Her large and beautiful wings breaking through all her hoodies as she hopes you don’t notice. Date a girl who you know is a harpy, but holds you tight in her wings at night when she thinks you have fallen asleep that gives you a comforting feeling that nothing can hurt you

Anan translation - Endo Aya’s strategies for going after the sextuplets.

Totoko’s voice actress’s comments about what the brothers might be like to go out with and her tips on how to win them from the recent Anan special magazine. 

Endo Aya’s strategies for going after the sextuplets.

Totoko-chan, the super cute only girl in the group. She’s very popular with the sextuplets, and we’re as jealous as could be. Together with Endo Aya who performed her, we’re going to examine their manly charms in a somewhat serious way!

She’s Totoko-chan so she understands?! The sextuplets “manly charms.”

The beloved heroine Totoko, whom the sextuplets never stop admiring. Since she is approached by them constantly on a daily basis, she’s bound to know about their attitudes towards love, and (we’re not sure whether or not they actually have any) their manly charms. Therefore, we threw Endo Aya, who played Totoko the closest observer of the sextuplets for half a year, the silly question, “What are they like as men?”

(Endo) To start with, whatever they may say, I think that they are kind boys. No matter how selfish Totoko gets, they face her head on and take the blow. This time, I tried thinking about each of them carefully, but even though they are jobless virgin NEETs who sponge off their family, there are moments when I suddenly felt like they were “good men” and I got flustered, lol. Despite telling myself that “If I went out with them they’d definitely be a burden,” I had a hard time keeping my cool. (Lol)

So she has analysed each of their manly charms, from Osomatsu to Todomatsu, and has proposed her strategies for going after them.

With this you can be just like Totoko… perhaps?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! Thank you for your recs! May I ask, when you have time, could you maybe suggest me some angst/hurt-comfort fics with good/hopeful endings? Mostly in the canon universe if possible. I am a sucker for comfort stories. Thank you so much! Have a great day!

GIVE ME ALL THE COMFORT FICS! But seriously, thank you for this request! I am also a sucker for some good hurt/comfort fics… there’s many more but hopefully these hit the spot! 

Originally posted by cookiebab


Victuuri Hurt/Comfort


The Fundamentals of Caring by braveten, Explicit, 20k
One of my favourite hurt/comfort fics! Yuuri comes down with a nasty cold and Victor tries to take care of him the best that he can. Full of hilariously delusional Yuuri, caring Victor, and ALL THE FLUFF! So cute, definitely recommend!

Quadruple Flip by haganenoheichou (bondageluvr), Mature, 17k
After he injures his knee, Victor has no other option but to quit skating. Yuuri can’t know his coach is injured, though, so Victor tries to keep it a secret. A little angsty, the epitome of hurt/comfort, and a happy ending.

Of Glass and Gold by smudgesofink, Teen, 4.4k
One shot of Yuuri doubting himself and Victor’s love for him. Takes place at the end of episode 11. Victor comforts Yuuri through a panic attack, and they make it through together.

Praise Please by surveycorpsjean Explicit, 5.3k
Yuuri gets distracted by Victor’s praise on the rink and hurts his ankle. Victor knows a few ways to make him feel better. Fluff and smut. Love!

Tomorrow Morning by apollosoyuz, Gen, 1.5k
Victor is extremely hungover the day after a wild night of partying and Yuuri takes care of him. It’s fluff. Just pure, sweet, fluff and Yuuri is a tease. What more could you want?

Worthwhile by surveycorpsjean, Explicit, 6.2k
The constant cameras, sounds, comments, and people starts to affect Victor, and eventually he breaks. Yuuri helps him piece back together. Through all the heartbreak, though, there’s a happy ending. The first time I read this fic I cried… it will break your heart. Very well written.

Fall hard (on your head) by I_hate_usernames, Gen, 10k
Takes place in episode five. Instead of getting a bloody nose after attempting the triple flip, Yuuri hits his head and gets a concussion. Love confessions, delusional Yuuri, and mutual comfort. Thumbs up!

Nerve Endings by Phyona, Explicit, 33k
When Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg, they have to work through Yuuri’s anxiety and Victor’s secretiveness to find their balance. Lots of hurt/comfort and anxiety-ridden Yuuri.

Pluto Through the Houses of Astrology

Pluto is a generational planet, it takes a long time for it to transition into a different sign, it takes somewhere from 14-30 years, so it doesn’t take part in our daily life. Although, where it’s placed in the houses is far more important than the sign, because that changes by the hour. I will start off by explaining what exactly is Pluto? Well, Pluto is the co-ruler of the sign Scorpio. Now, we all know something about Scorpio ;) (hehehe) There are 5 main themes of Pluto. One is transformation, two is destruction, three is intensity, four is rebirth, and five is obsession. Pluto is also known to be the ruler of the underworld which can be very intimidating and powerful. He’s mentioned in many books, and my favorite mention of Pluto is Inferno by Dante Alighieri, where Plutus is the lord of the 4th Circle for those who are the Miserly or Prodigal, which means people who sinned by trying to control money and fortune were to be in the 4th Circle. As many of you may know, the 8th house rules other people’s money, due to Pluto being the ruler of that house along with Mars. Now that we’ve learned a few things about Pluto, I will explain what it means when it goes through each house!

Pluto in the 1st house: The 1st house is the house of your identity, public persona, first impression, personality, and physical appearance. So when Pluto is placed here, you can be a bit of an intense person because you come off as different from society, you don’t mind hanging in the shadows. Being in the public eye and having everyone know about you can annoy you a little. You change a lot, whether it’s weight, height, style, personality, so on. Each person thinks of you differently because of that. You can have a bit of a dark atmosphere hanging around you, and your eyes are hypnotic, demanding, and very powerful. You can seem a bit power hungry yourself, always trying to be in control. 1st house also represents the story of your birth, and early childhood. Your birth could’ve been painful, intense, and transformative for your mother. In your early childhood, there could’ve been a war in your birthplace, or some sort of deep conflict that later brought enlightenment.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you ever just feel like your art will never be liked or that it's trash?? I've tried everything I could to try to be the best artist I can be yet I can't say that I'm even close to liking my art..

anon, if you’re completely satisfied with your art right now you wouldn’t feel the need to improve, right? with the internet, we’re exposed to artists with all sorts of art styles and feel the pressure to reach to their level but remember.

it’s okay to feel unsatisfied and dislike your art, you’re not alone. artists are seldom content because our eyes are always on higher goals. you may not know it, but inside your subconscious might just KNOW that you can do better.

that day may not be today, or in a month, or in a year? but so what? you WILL do better without a doubt. and that day will come as long as you don’t give up on this long tough journey.

The Arrangement: Part 2

Title:  The Arrangement: Part 2

Summary:  He’s a mechanic. She’s a lonely woman with more money than she knows what to do with. Fate brings them together and sparks fly. But only for six weeks. That’s the arrangement.

Author: Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters:  Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: 2421

Warnings: Language, drinking, angst

Author’s Notes:  This is part two of a multi-part series. Read Part 1 here. Shifts between multiple points of view.

Originally posted by im-bigbrother-dean

Keep reading

You Only Live Once

You know, if you think about it, it’s actually Victor who falls in love with Yuri FIRST and it’s Victor who loves harder than Yuri. True, Yuri has always admired Victor since he was 12 when he saw a 16-year-old Victor skating on television, but his love for Victor was essentially that of a fan adoring his idol, a love that lacks what you may call a deep, personal connection. Yuri has always seen Victor as a god, not as a man and definitely not as a lover. To Yuri, Victor was more like an unattainable legend.

Originally posted by antimatteruniverse

Victor on the other hand, pretty much falls in love with Yuri after their first ever personal encounter at the Grand Prix banquet a year before. Yuri goes from being incredibly anxious and shy to the charismatic playboy who comes to town (a.k.a the Grand Prix) and seduces everyone with his super Eros drunk dance moves (if you watch carefully, the choreography in Eros somewhat resembles Yuri’s dance moves from the banquet. Victor never forgot them and probably doesn’t want to) and enchants everyone in the room.

Originally posted by just-alittlelady

Intoxicated and ready to enjoy life, Yuri battles Yurio first and beats him effortlessly. Yuri then pole dances with Chris before challenging Victor, and Yuri carries out his challenge with full Eros as they pretty much strip in front of the entire ballroom. Victor is the last to battle Yuri and Yuri not only challenges Victor to a dance off, but also asks Victor to be his coach should he lose the battle. Yuri also invites Victor to come to his family’s hot spring resort in Hasetsu, which probably hit Victor hard in the kokoro as we later find out that Victor yearns for a life and love despite his successful career.

Originally posted by 97pikapi

Yuri throws himself drunk, vulnerable, and with complete honesty at Victor, inviting Victor wholeheartedly into his life in a way no other person had done before. And it was in that innocent yet incredibly Eros moment that Victor fell for the hot drunk mess who was grinding up against him in front of EVERYONE. Yuri doesn’t hide the fact that he wants Victor in his life, and Victor is all for it.

Originally posted by the-fandom-demon-princess

Victor takes part in the dance off anyway even though he’s never really had a conversation with Yuri before save for their meeting after the Grand Prix finals. He totally accepts his fate to be Yuri’s coach should he lose, and from the pictures, it’s seemingly obvious that he fell in love with Yuri’s drunken YOLO-ness even more. In essence, Victor falls hard for Yuri’s inner ability to live life to the fullest–a quality Victor realizes has been missing from his own life.

Originally posted by melody-of-ever-blue

Even though he is Yuri’s mancrush, Victor actually endures a considerable amount of rejection from Yuri despite the latter being the initial seducer. When watching the series for the first time, it looks as if Victor is some confident playboy who flirtatiously tries to win Yuri over, but this is far from the truth. Victor is head over heels for Katsuki Yuri and tries desperately to connect with him on a deeper level. For most of the series, Victor himself is unaware that Yuri does not have any memory of their dance off, as he reacts in shock when Yuri remarks that he didn’t have the courage to talk to Victor at the banquet the year before in episode 10 (let’s keep in mind that a half-naked Yuri practically dry humped Victor in a crowded banquet hall while confessing for all to hear that he wants Victor as his coach). It should only be natural that Victor would feel seduced and cast aside (hence the story of Eros) as he had no idea Yuri couldn’t remember what they shared at the banquet, which makes Victor’s feelings for Yuri all the more deep. Despite Yuri’s constant rejection of Victor’s affections, our Vicchan persevered. Why? Because he loves Yuri.

Originally posted by lilium

When Yuri calls himself a dime-a-dozen figure skater, he is both right and wrong. For those of us who are not in the world of figure skating, Yuri is selling himself short: he’s Japan’s representative for the Grand Prix Final, which means that he had to be the best to earn a spot among the top 6 finalists. But for a legend like Victor, Yuri is technically just one of many figure skaters in the world. If Victor merely wanted to train someone to win the gold medal, he could have just picked anyone from the rest of the very talented figure skating gang. In fact, it would have made more sense for him to choose Yurio, who was more driven than Yuri to win at the time, and is also a fellow Russian (more gold medals for Russia, no?). But Victor chooses Yuri instead, not just because he believes Yuri to have insane potential, but also because he needs Yuri’s love, a love that makes him feel alive and inspired. Yuri’s determination to win at the Onsen On Ice against Yurio was Victor’s reassurance that he had made the right decision to pursue his feelings for Yuri and to invest his time and effort into building not only Yuri as a skater but also their relationship as a whole.

Originally posted by pinkujinsama

One thing to note is that even though Yuri is more than willing to gush about Victor to anyone who’s willing to listen (especially the audience), Yuri pretty much avoids Victor’s advances at the start of the series because he feels unworthy. He first avoids taking a picture with Victor because he feels he isn’t good enough to be Victor’s peer despite Victor’s efforts to make friends with him; he feels uncomfortable with Victor’s outward display of bold affection when he first arrives at the onsen. He’s tensed around Victor and shuts down most of Victor’s attempts at intimacy, like sleeping together in the same bed or talking about past relationships and romance. Ultimately, Yuri has difficulty opening up to Victor at the beginning despite Victor’s sincere efforts to get to know him. However, Victor does not give up and continues to break the walls around Yuri’s glass heart. It is Victor who fights to get through, while Yuri struggles to keep Victor at bay. Yuri himself admits that he has issues with being seen as vulnerable and weak, but Victor never relents.

Originally posted by azurrotenshiii

But wait! Didn’t Yuri skate to Victor’s Stay Close to Me as a sort of love letter to Victor? Well, that may seem like the case at first glance since Yuri skates Victor’s program with such passion, but when you look at it closely, it feels more like his performance was a love letter to Yuko instead. While Victor may have seen the video as Yuri’s way of reaching out to him, Yuri definitely had no intention of proving his worth to Victor via his skating of the program. Yuri wasn’t aware that he was being recorded, nor did he know that Yuko wasn’t alone at the time. Yuri had intended for his skate to be a private exhibition for Yuko; Yuri had been wanting to retire and wanted to perform something meaningful for Yuko that they both loved together: Victor Nikiforov’s masterpiece.

Originally posted by daburupurei

After Yuri’s skate ends, it is heavily implied that he was about to confess his feelings for his childhood friend, only to be interrupted by her three daughters, thus rendering the confession inappropriate to say the least (Yuko is revealed to be happily married and is a mother of three). It could even be assumed that Yuri was probably more emotionally invested in Yuko all those years, which explains why he never got a girlfriend in the first place. Due to his lack of confidence and assertiveness, Yuri never tells her how he feels even though the two of them get along very well and share a love for ice skating. Yuri probably suffered from unrequited love and watched in silence as the only girl he ever loved, his Ice Princess married Nishigori and started a family with him. Victor may have had Yuri’s undying adoration, but he didn’t have Yuri’s heart.

Originally posted by gnathonizeart

Unlike Victor, who falls hard for Yuri at first hug during the banquet, Yuri gradually falls in love with Victor as the series progresses and slowly begins to see Victor as a man rather than a legendary god whom he can never compare to. He slowly starts to see Victor’s flaws and allows himself to get angry at Victor and stops being apologetic about feeling different emotions other than admiration for Victor. He begins to accept that Victor is a human who makes mistakes, just as Victor accepts Yuri for who he is. Victor unknowingly shatters the last piece of resistance in Yuri by threatening to quit as his coach should Yuri fail to make the podium at The Cup of China. This successfully draws out Yuri’s true feelings from within his fragile heart and Yuri becomes more honest with Victor. In turn, Yuri’s insecurities break down Victor’s perfect, godlike image as well. Victor isn’t as flawless as the world thinks him to be. Both of them are lacking something, and they found it in each other.

Originally posted by the-red-emperor-and-the-shadow

Eventually, Yuri reaches a point where he becomes consciously aware that he wants Victor as more than a coach, but this realization isn’t instant nor is it definite. Even though it is Yuri who places the golden ring on Victor’s finger in front of the cathedral and subsequently breaks the Internet with his proposal, he is also the one who decides to end their partnership because he once again feels inadequate. Victor, despite all his efforts to break through to Yuri is once again rejected and shattered by Yuri’s uncertainty. At that point, we see a different Victor, a dejected and almost broken Victor; a Victor who thought that he had finally found life and love, only to have his happiness ripped away from him by the very person whom he cares for most in this world. 

Originally posted by fabelyn

Victor arguably loves Yuri more than Yuri loves him: Victor puts his career on the line for Yuri, a huge gamble given that he is at the age of retirement; he literally packs up all his things and moves to another country just to be with Yuri; he sticks by Yuri despite all the pressure from others to give up on being a coach and return to skating while he still has time left. Victor never falters in his decision to take Yuri on his journey to gold and even decides to stay on as his coach while returning to the ice; a task that will undoubtedly take up an incredible amount of time, effort, and determination on Victor’s part.

Originally posted by sairenji

While we all can agree that these two are soulmates who were meant for each other, it is most unfair to say that Victor and Yuri have a magical relationship that just happened to work out beautifully. True, they were meant to be together, but they also worked hard at it. They laughed, they fought, they cried, they inspired each other, and they supported each other. Victor helped Yuri to be more confident in himself and salvage his career as a skater, but it is Yuri who is the true savior in this pairing: it is Yuri’s love that ultimately saves Victor as a human being.

Originally posted by mariplisetsky

Victor is now more than just a legendary skater who is expected to shine and dazzle at every event; he is more than just his scores, his rank, and the gold medals that his peers envy; he is more just the one to beat in competition; he is more than just Victor without a personal back story: He is Yuri’s coach, Yuri’s friend, his lover, and his fiancé. And he has not only gained Yuri, Yuri’s family and friends are now his family and friends, and Makkachin has found some new humans to play with as well, people who care about him and Vicchan very much–and they are happy together.

Originally posted by lawlightislife

Through Yuri, Victor has gained not only a love, but also a life of his very own that doesn’t just revolve around ice skating, and is filled with people who love him not only as Victor Nikiforov the legendary skater, but also as just Victor himself, the man he is on the inside. Katsuki Yuri’s love was something that Victor fought very hard for, and it has rewarded him greatly in return; a precious treasure I’m sure he intends to keep forever–a new chapter in his life with a new purpose, new meaning, and new people to share it with; and I have no doubt that Victor plans to live his newfound life with Yuri to the fullest, because after all, You Only Live Once.

Originally posted by orerishu

This is probably very obvious to everyone else, but it just clicked for me, so…

The Angry Identitarian Left is the way it is, in part, because its practices are optimized specifically for college campus activism

Within a university, the world is controlled by a nigh-omnipotent authority.  If you are a student, it is probable that the authority basically likes you and wants you to succeed; even if the administrators find you annoying, they fundamentally regard you as community members who should be receiving a good education, not as vermin or monsters or fifth-columnists.  If you are a leftist or liberal, it is probable that the authority basically shares your fundamental values; the administrators are basically you, thirty years down the pike.  But the authority is lazy and venal and (especially) worried about disruptions and embarrassments.  By default, you will be denied a lot of the political things you want, because that’s the easiest and cheapest thing, because the most convenient way to keep donors happy usually involves sweeping problems under the rug and not shelling out money. 

Under these circumstances, the most flexible strategic plan seems to involve a two-pronged social assault, with the prongs consisting of “moral suasion” and “extortion.”  You speak with as much holiness and self-righteousness as you can muster, in hopes that you can guilt the administrators into acknowledging the merit of your points, which has a good chance of working because deep down the administrators probably do see the merit of your points.  (They really, genuinely don’t want to be racist or sexist either!)  And you make yourself as annoying and obstreperous as you can, with the implicit promise that you’ll stop as soon as you get what you want, in hopes that appeasing you becomes the easy way out. 

There’s not much to be gained by persuading anyone of anything, or by looking to compromise with anyone, because there’s not really any principled opposition with whom to engage.  There’s also no real downside to using nasty rhetoric and dirty tactics.  In the wider world, that shit causes people to hate and fear you, it alienates potential allies and cements the resolve of your enemies…but within the college, you have no genuine enemies and you don’t have much use for allies.  All that matters is whether you can break through the sloth and self-interestedness of the decision-makers. 

My Clueless Valentine

Story Summary: To help Steve feel a little less lonely on Valentine’s Day, you and the guys plan out a day of fun. However, this outing becomes something so much more than a day with friends when feelings are revealed [Part of the Friends Like Ours one shot series]. 

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: I’m really sorry about the wait and I’m sorry if I forgot to tag anyone in this! It’s been a while. Just to let you know, this one shot also refers back to the events of People Will Say

Originally posted by dailyteamcap

“Hey Steve,” Bucky greeted with a smile as the blond entered the kitchen, you and Sam also giving your respective greetings with the hopes that he’d actually say something this time around.

Instead, you all earned another frown in response while he grabbed a bottle of water and a granola bar before heading back to his room, closing the door. You sighed and wondered what’s wrong with your friend. Over the past couple of days, Steve has been acting strange and distanced himself from everyone, limiting his responses with frowns and sighs. You had no working theories as to why he was behaving that way, but Sam and Bucky had an idea.

Keep reading

2

79/100

It may be the easter holiday but unfortunately with exams so close I cannot afford to actually take anymore of a break. Powering through all my tasks today 💪🏻