break some eggs

Our party—a bard, a fighter, and a ranger—were on a one-off side quest to deliver a letter to somebody. He wasn’t at his house (learned after breaking in, to the DM’s dismay), so we found out the general area he was in and went there, confusion in our wake and a spring in our steps. I, the bard, had decided that I would funnel every ounce of skill I possessed into charisma, and at level 5 had a +6 modifier. I had been using that power at every opportunity that arose. We wander through the foothills full of caves, looking for this guy, when our fighter rolls a nat 20 perception trying to look for any signs of life.

DM: You—okay, so. Yeah. With that, you actually notice about fifty feet away that a particular cluster of bushes is rustling just slightly, but not with the breeze.

Fighter: Oh. Cool. “Hey guys, I think there are some folks in those bushes over there.”

Me: “Cool beans! HELLOOOOOOO, MY DUDES!”

DM: There’s a few seconds of silence before four guys come slowly forward from the bushes. They look pretty rough and tough, and uh—

Ranger: Can I roll perception? Uh… that’s a 15.

DM: You deduce that they’re probably bandits or something. They’re walking forward and one of the guys says, “Who are you little pests, and what’re ya doing in these here foothills of ours?”

Me: “We’re just hanging out, traveling, and actually it seems like a good time to break for breakfast if you lovely gents would like to join us! I can brew us up some chamomile, I have like a thousand mushrooms I got earlier—”

Fighter: “I got that chicken, too, and jerky.”

Me: “Oh hell yeah, we’re gonna chow down if y'all want in on that action.”

DM: That’s, uh… that’s persuasion, advantage because you’re offering them food and seem too dumb to be dangerous.

Me: Thanks man. Uh… 14 total.

DM: *head in his hands* I just—okay, they join you for breakfast I guess. And yet again you avoid a fight I planned for you. One of the dudes breaks out some eggs from somewhere.

Ranger: What’re their names?

DM: Uh, uh, they—it’s got. There’s Bablo, Sanchez, Kent, and uh. Eskabar.

Me: Cool. I roll to flirt with them.

DM: ………<i>all of them???</i> I mean… sure?? I guess??

Me: Hells yeah. Rolling.

Proceeds to roll: 16, 19, and <i>two natural 20s</i>.

DM: *head on the table* Like. You—you make your fellow party members super uncomfortable. You are piled under boys, it’s kinda gross but super chill for you. Kent wasn’t super into the whole group thing before, but now he would straight up die for you. He’s learning a lot about himself today.

Me: I’m gonna write those names down for later. Can I put “a boys harem” in my items list?

From the Other Side of the Signing Table

“I don’t know what to say to you,” the girl said. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Thanks is good,” I replied.

Silence stretched, punctuated only by the scuffle of a Sharpie on a page.

We were in the same boat, the girl and I — both at a book festival, both at the end of a long day full of people, both in a signing line that had been going on for an hour already. There was only one big difference between us: she was on one side of the table, and I was on the other. Sometimes that difference seems to matter more than others.

Before I was published, I read a lot of accounts of what it was like to have your work out there, but I never read anything about what it was like to have yourself out there. I suppose I never really thought about it, to tell you the truth. I thought you wrote a book and hopefully people liked it and if I thought about book tours at all, I figured they involved standing on a stage for a bit before disappearing into a rental car. The truth, however, is that now — ten years and fifteen novels in to my career — most of my hours in front of people are spent in a signing line. Forty minutes on a stage or behind a table for a panel, and then two or three hours meeting a few hundred strangers. I had no idea what it would be like.

This is what it’s like.


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anonymous asked:

The Empire did nothing wrong, the rebels are terrorists. Palpatine was a democratically elected leader! The rebels killed millions on the Death Star.

Originally posted by starwars

Okay so I LOVE my Empire. I really do, I’m OBSESSED WITH IT.

But oh no, we’re EVIL. Is everyone in the Empire evil? 

Of course not, but the wrinkled up sentient testicle in the black bath robe that can shoot fuckin’ lightning out of his fuckin’ fingers is and he runs the whole show so.. 

Originally posted by starwars

Let’s test our bigass space tit by blowing up towns, bases, and oh, y’kno, an ENTIRE NEUTRAL SYSTEM. So, y’kno. BILLIONS OF PEOPLE.

The Empire has labor camps! A large portion of its policies are anti-alien! 

Say the wrong thing and you’re taken in by stormtroopers in a room where there are nice men with guns. A lot of people go in, but few seem to come out.

Pappy was “elected” emperor because of a dumb ass rabbit duck racist stereotype granting him all of his power, due to manipulation and deceit! 

Originally posted by theweekmagazine

Oh, and of course, Pappy manipulates space Christ with the ol’ 

“My master knocked up this broad in the Outer Rim with Midichlorians and here you are, the Dark Side is rad, maybe I can save your wife even though I know nothing about this practice, let’s go, Ani. Let’s kill some baby space wizards.”

Originally posted by effyeahstarwars

NOT TO MENTION they cloned Moana’s dad MILLIONS OF TIMES OVER so they can be cannon fodder for Pappy’s rise to power and annihilation of the space wizards

Are the Rebels clean? Of course not, they’re fuckin’ REBELS. But hey you can’t save the Galaxy without breaking some space eggs. (and exploit a design flaw secretly planted by Hannibal Lecter because even space Hannibal acknowledges the Empire is super evil) 

Originally posted by klennnik

So naturally, 30 years later, after their SECOND big ass space tit blows up, they build an EVEN BIGGER space tit, suck up a few suns and blow up literally PLANETS WORTH OF GOVERNMENTS.

Originally posted by megamorgenstern

AGAIN. I LOVE THE EMPIRE.

But they’re a bunch of evil bastards. 

“Well, Peaches! How can you love the Galactic Empire if they’re so evil?”

Well because it’s not real, and they’re cool so kick rocks. 

Also I’m totally not drunk rn

wow i cant believe Kinder Eggs made wreckerhusbands,, ,

im calling it it’s destiny everyone

♡ oct 11th fix it fast day 1 ♡

goal : fast (33hrs)

intake : i had some green tea(0) , iced starbucks cold brew w/ splenda (0) , then i had some coconut water (20) bc i was literally fainting and vomiting and some diet coke (0)

notes : i did get super sick but im pretty sure its bc i caught something not bc of fasting and i feel totally fine now☁️planning on breaking w some egg whites & spinach later

5

This is a variation on the traditional Shakshouka, with added mixed beans, spinach, roasted potatoes 🥔 and sweet potatoes 🍠 You can simply leave out the eggs if you prefer to veganise this. On the other hand, if you wanted to add some spicy chorizo sausage in with the potatoes at the beginning, that would also work very well.

1) Chop some potatoes and sweet potatoes, place in a large baking tray with fairly high sides and drizzle with olive oil and shake over some cumin seeds, salt and pepper. Place in the oven at 190 Celsius until about 80% cooked through. At this stage, add some colourful bell peppers until they and the potatoes are nicely browned.

2) Whilst the potatoes are cooking, make your spicy tomato sauce. Sauté diced onion in a little olive oil with crushed garlic, dried oregano and chilli flakes and when softened, add some tinned tomatoes, a splash of balsamic vinegar and a pinch of sugar. Allow to simmer until thickened slightly and the flavours have combined. Add a tin of drained mixed beans, some chopped green beans and a bag of spinach near the end of the cooking.

3) Add the tomato sauce to the tray of potatoes and mixed together, then make small dents in the sauce and break some eggs into them. Put the tray back in the oven to allow the eggs to cook to your desired softness.

Enjoy!

anonymous asked:

I'm not saying that it's pretty, but sometimes you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette, right? War isn't pretty, and there isn't a lot of time to philosophize about whether a necessary tactic is right and wrong.

War is always going to be messy (only another reason to avoid it), of course, but that’s not an excuse. It is possible to effectively fight a war- yes, even an asymmetric one- without the commission of flagrant war crimes and excessively cruel tactics and the use of extremely loose rules of engagement. This is especially true in conflicts like Korea, where many of our actions were both clearly beyond moral acceptability and lacking in much significant strategic value. Additionally, that sort of cruelty can in some cases even impede military success due to blowback from civilian populations or foreign governments.

Here’s To.

Dear Self,

Your life is so vast and intricate. You are important. You are loved.

But sometimes you don’t feel that way about to yourself. And that’s not okay by me or for me. No, you don’t have to feel bad for not being good to yourself. The important thing is, every moment of your life matters. From the good, the bad, and the ugly. Please don’t try to change anything that happened or lie about it, because that is who you are. Don’t stop anything else from happening in your life by any mean of accomplishing that.

There are dozens, if not hundreds of people who care about you. They might even love you. You are a part of consistency in their lives, THEY won’t be the same without YOU here.

Life is full of mistakes, but mistakes lead to learning. You’re becoming smarter every day. Look at you go!

“Epilogue” - Keaton Henson

Your life is a beautiful mosaic. As the analogy goes, mosaics can only be made with the shattering of beautiful glass. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, you can’t make a mosaic without broken glass, and you can’t make a beautiful human life without mistakes and experiences.

This song is for you, Self. It will remind you what you’ve done and show you who that makes you today. You can be the best Self and love your Self. You can do this.

Love, -?-

Bisexual Dean Winchester for allovelyart who asked for
Artist Ask#13: Draw a headcanon. And well, if you ask me, he is.

The next FNAF game probably
  • Michael Afton: So everyone was calling me Eggs Benedict and next thing I know I'm dead.
  • William Afton: Well you know what they say son...
  • Michael Afton: Dad no.
  • William Afton: :)
  • Michael Afton: DAD I SWEAR TO GOD.
  • William Afton: You can't make an omlette without breaking some eggs.
  • Michael Afton: DAD I'M FREAKING DEAD.

kashif79  asked:

Plz do virgo moon likes and dislikes. Thanks in advance.

In response to this, here’s a short list of things Virgo Moons appreciate/despise.

Likes:

Well-behaved people, animals, children
You might ask “well doesn’t everyone like good behavior?” But what you might not understand is that Virgo moon won’t even deal with anyone who doesn’t practice self-restraint when it comes to social behavior. Seriously. They’d rather not even have kids, pets, or friends if it means dealing with brattiness or rudeness. In their eyes, civilized (defining “civilized” varies from Virgoan to Virgoan, of course) interactions are the only interactions worth having. So if you want to impress a Virgo moon, telling fart jokes at a nice dinner party is not the way to go, nor is letting your toddler or puppy run amuck. They will never, ever invite you over their own home, much less go out of their way to socialize with you if you violate basic rules of conduct.

Manners and politeness, particularly consideration and humility
Virgo moon people appreciate thoughtfulness, especially since they try so hard to be that way. Don’t get me wrong. Virgo moon can be pretty blunt when it comes to pointing out the flaws of others, but to them, they’re simply “correcting” the errors of others. They are the social etiquette police, and you gotta break some eggs if you want to make an omelette. Therefore, they have no qualms with rudely telling you that you are being rude. And if you have an ego that you like to put on display, well, get ready to be cut down in size by the Virgo moon who is unimpressed with your self-centeredness.

Helping others
Oddly, us Virgo moons love fixer-upper people if we think they can be salvaged. Unlike a Pisces moon (opposite), they don’t fool themselves with thinking they can help everyone nor do they think everyone is worth the attempt. But if they see you as a diamond in the rough, a misunderstood genius, they will go out of their way to help you in anyway possible—that is until you prove yourself to be a hopeless cause. In that case, they will coldly withdraw their assistance and not pick up when you call. Sorry, we just don’t have the patience or energy to help those who don’t/won’t help themselves. Virgo moons want and need to be of service to others in some capacity, but that doesn’t mean we will waste our time.

Having a purpose and a goal to work towards
Virgo moon can be busybodies, but it doesn’t mean we like busy work. Whatever their career choice or lifestyle, work has to have meaning and contribute to some greater good in order for the Virgo moon to feel fulfilled. You may have read that Virgos like tasks that require attention to detail. This is true. But this shouldn’t be equated with a love of pettiness, rather an understanding of how the little things add up and make up a bigger picture.

Pure, clean diets
This comes in different degrees depending on how obsessive the Virgo moon is. Some Virgo moons simply refuse to eat processed crap with transfats and high sugar. Others might deem meat as murder (and cruelty is never OK unless morally justified—more on that another day). Still others might forego anything that is cooked at all. But all Virgo moons are pretty sensitive to how their diet can affect their overall health and they can literally feel their bodies being cleansed and purified through restrictive food intake. Or at least they think so.

Independence, solitary
Like all Mercury-ruled people, Virgo moons need to take a step back from others in order to process, digest, and understand all of the information that the world throws at them. Whereas a Pisces moon might allow others to mentally, physically, spiritually drain them of everything they’ve got, Virgo moon needs distance since they can be so highly strung. Other people literally burn them out. Without enough alone time, they will become frazzled, confused, depressed, and sick. This solitary time could be one day or one month, depending on how badly they need to recharge. Because Virgo moons don’t like to rely on others, they are unlikely to ask others for help, even if they need it. And it’s because we know that the only thing we can really count on is ourselves.

Being right
All the time.

So all that said, here’s a short list of things that Virgo hates. Let me know if you can think of more…and I’m sure there are many, many more Virgo moon dislikes.

Dislikes:

Injustice
Cruelty
Greedy, selfish people
Eating food that is unhealthy
Dealing with people who are needy and high maintenance
Emotionally unpredictable people
Taking big risks

Quick ficlet for @sciderman for their birthday! I wanted to do something a little longer, but I’m juggling projects and two of them actually have deadlines, yikes. Sci, you said you liked domesticity, so I hope kitchen makeouts count. Happy birthday!


Johnny woke to no warm body in the bed and someone crashing around in the kitchen. He rolled his eyes, stretching and yawning, and then gathered the sheet around him in a makeshift toga – he’d learned the hard way that Peter’s aunt had a key – and dragged himself out of bed and towards the sound of cursing.

What he found made him burst out laughing.

“Not funny,” Peter said, scowling, the mask shoved way up and his costume sticky down one side. “I’m serious, Johnny.”

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tragicallytired  asked:

Could you possibly update the jock!derek tag?

yup

Like James Dean, Only Sadder by 42hrb (1/1 | 3,809 | PG13)

The star of the Beacon Hills High School baseball team and Beacon Hills resident bad boy probably have nothing in common, right?

Baby, It’s Magic by Moosey (1/1 | 12,786 | PG13)

“You’re working with Derek on the baby thing right?” Erica says.

“I was trying to forget about it actually, so thanks for the reminder,” Stiles replies, slumping back in his seat.

“Oh like it’ll be such a chore,” Erica scoffs. “Woe is me I have to have a fake baby with a ridiculously hot guy, who, incidentally, is amazing with children. Seriously, my ovaries want to explode every time I see him with his nieces.”

“Well I don’t have ovaries, so I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Stiles says.

——

Stiles and Derek are tasked with co-parenting a robot baby simulator as part of a Lacrosse team high school project. Of course, supernatural hi-jinx ensue…

You’ve got to break some eggs… by Stilienski (1/1 | 3,851 | G)

Derek really shouldn’t have taken the dare to egg the sheriff’s house. How did he let Jackson talk him into this again? Now the sheriff got home way earlier than expected and Derek was going to get arrested and fuck his life, really. Honestly, Derek never meant to put the blame on Stiles, but what was he supposed to do?

Or the one where a fake break up fight leads to a real first kiss.

Sound Check by Snowjob (1/1 | 1,227 | PG13)

Prompt - You’re in the musical, I’m on tech, but I really effing hate the show because if I have to hear whoever’s playing the princess sing one more time I will rip my ears off you are literally the only saving grace.

“Five Days in Detention” (A Future Song by Stiles Stilinski) by alisvolatpropiis (1/1 | 3,408 | PG13)

It’s still preseason, sure, but he needs to be practicing. He led the team to the State semifinals last year, and he’s determined to not only make it to the finals this year, but to win the title. He should be on the field right now, practicing his play calls and prepping for next week’s season opener against Saint Pius.

And he can’t do that if he’s wasting his time in detention with these losers. There are a couple of burnouts lazing over some seats by the window, one kid with his face on a desk, hood over his head, and a few Goth kids are sitting in the back corner, looking surly and morose. Maybe you wouldn’t be so miserable if you didn’t listen to such shitty music, he thinks, turning towards his usual seat in the back of the room.

He pauses for the briefest of moments when he sees who’s already sitting there, in the second-to-last row, black-clad limbs spread out, acoustic guitar in his lap, long fingers casually plucking at the strings.

Stiles Stilinski.

Here is the whole summary to Captain America Civil War

The movie’s pre-credits scene opens in Siberia in 1991, where a bunch of Russian scientists in an underground, cold-as-****-looking facility are electro-shocking and brainwashing Bucky, much like the scene in Winter Soldier. A general comes up to Bucky and repeats a series of trigger words that complete his brainwashing, and then he asks if he is ready to comply. Bucky responds that he is, and he is given a mission to retrieve a biological weapon of some kind. The scene cuts to a dark forest road, where Bucky, on a motorcycle, chases an old-fashioned looking car, runs it into a tree where it catches fire, opens the trunk, and finds a suitcase containing five blue packets of something.

Roll the Marvel logo.
Lagos, present day. Wanda and Widow are sitting at crowded cafe where Widow is trying to teach Wanda how to spy on people without drawing attention to themselves. They’re on an open channel with Steve, who’s watching from a nearby hotel room, and Sam, who’s standing on a roof with a little red drone called Redwing. The New Avengers have been tracking Crossbones, who has been blowing up and stealing from local police departments. They catch sight of a suspicious van, which they follow into a CDC facility, where it blows up, causing a distraction, and two more vans spill onto the curb carrying mercenaries armed to the teeth, including Crossbones. They rampage into the facility with nerve gas, and Crossbones steals a vial of a bioweapon.
Outside, the New Avengers attack them (there was a short clip of this a few days ago). Wanda, Steve, and Sam take out all the armed guys outside, then Wanda propels Steve inside, where he takes out everyone except for Crossbones, who has a cool spring-loaded metal fist that punches Cap straight through a concrete wall and down thirty feet or so. Crossbones and his mercenaries make their escape into a crowded marketplace, where Crossbones gives the vial to one of his henchmen and tells them to take it to the buyer. He and Steve then fight, while Widow takes on two henchmen and Sam takes on two. Widow defeats her two, only to have one of the mercenaries threaten to break the vial. Fortunately, Redwing shoots the merc and Widow catches it before it falls. Meanwhile Crossbones attaches a sticky bomb to Cap’s shield, which he throws into the air a moment before it explodes, then Steve finally defeats him, takes off his mask, and reveals his true face, which is badly burned and very Jonah Hex-like. Crossbones taunts Steve that Bucky was his buyer, and that he has fully reverted back to his Winter Soldier persona. The moment Steve is distracted, Crossbones lights up a bomb, which Wanda catches at the moment it explodes, trapping Crossbones in a fiery ball where he burns to death. Unfortunately, Wanda can’t control the energy sphere, and she tosses it into the sky, right into— guess what?— a hospital, where there are at least 11 casualties and many more injuries. The New Avengers look horrified at what just happened, and Wanda breaks down.
Meanwhile, we cut back to Christmas morning, 1991, where a de-aged, teenage Tony Stark is lying on the sofa listening to his mother Maria play the piano. They share a tender moment where she urges Tony to tell his father he loves him (or something; it sounds like they were fighting before), before Howard Stark walks in the door, announces that he and Maria are going away for the holidays for a week, but that they have to drop by the Pentagon first. Tony makes a sarcastic comment and finally gives Howard a hug and tells him he loves him. Right at this moment, an older Tony, standing in the doorframe, reveals that the entire scene is an augment reality mental simulation for memory therapy, and he says, “That’s how I wish that scene had played out. But it didn’t.” Tony is revealed to be speaking to an auditorium full of people at MIT, where he announces that he’s funding all of the students’s thesis projects; all their projects are approved and fully funded as of five minutes ago. His teleprompter has a line in there about thanking Pepper; he pauses, ignores it, and wraps up his speech by telling them to break a few eggs. The dean of MIT thanks him (it’s a cameo from that weird bald guy from Community in a nice throwback to the Russo’s roots).
While looking for the men’s room after, Tony runs into Alfre Woodard’s character, who asks him what he meant by telling the students to break some eggs. She tells him about her son, who was volunteering in Sokovia after college and got a building dropped on him by Ultron. She tells him that she holds Tony directly responsible and leaves, and Tony is visibly shaken.
In the aftermath of the Lagos disaster, Steve comes to comfort Wanda in her room, where she is watching T’Chaka make a UN address condemning the Avenger’s violence in Lagos, where it turns out some of the casualties were Wakandan citizens, who were on a Peace Corps mission trying to do outreach. Vision phases through the walls, and Wanda snaps at him to use the door like a normal person, and he gets offended and says he only phased because he saw the door was open anyway, and tells Steve that Tony has arrived at the Avengers compound, with a guest.
We cut to Thaddeus Ross addressing the New Avengers (Steve, Widow, Wanda, Vision, Sam, and Rhodey) in the conference room, with Tony sitting in the back looking morose. Ross tells the Avengers that 117 member nations of the UN have drafted a treaty that all the Avengers will be forced to sign, stating that they will become a special UN task force, to be deployed only when deemed necessary by committee. Ross is surprisingly sympathetic to the Avengers, and acknowledges that it is not an ideal solution, but one that has become necessary after Sokovia and Lagos. He tells them to think it over and leaves, and the Avengers begin arguing about whether to sign it or not. Tony throws up a picture of Alfre Woodard’s son on the screen, and tells the Avengers that he was a kid who, after college, didn’t go to Vegas like Tony would have, but wanted to do good with his life. He reveals that the kid died in Sokovia after Ultron dropped a building on his block, and says that he feels directly responsible. He says that when he realized 8 years ago that Stark Industries was making WMDs for terrorists, he shut down the whole thing, and now he’s going to do the same with the Avengers unless they sign the treaty. Rhodes and Sam get into a fight about who has more credibility based on how many tours of Afghanistan they’ve each done, while Vision comes up with a formula that basically says that Tony’s route will lead to fewer casualties in the long run. As they’re fighting, Steve gets a text from someone that says that Peggy has died in her sleep.
Note: throughout the movie we cut to various scenes of a man named Zemo doing sketchy **** and basically trying to track down Bucky, but I forget where Zemo’s scenes are placed. He doesn’t become important until near the end anyway, but in our introduction to him, we meet an older version of the general from the opening scene who gave Bucky his mission, now living in a dilapidated motel room. Zemo hits his car, knocks on the door, and asks if they can work it out without the police. The general tepidly opens the door, and Zemo barges in, knocks him out, and that scene ends. In the next scene with Zemo, he has the general tied up upside down, with his head in a sink and the faucet running. Zemo asks about a mission from 1991, and the general tells him to go to hell. Zemo tells him that Hydra is dead and that if he keeps his secret, he will only be dying for his pride. The general still refuses to talk, and Zemo turns the faucet all the way on, drowning the general.

ondon, present day. Steve, Sam, and Widow attend Peggy Carter’s funeral, and Steve is surprised to see none other than Sharon Carter get up to deliver the eulogy. Sharon relays a story about how she once asked Peggy how she could balance being a woman in espionage at a time when there were very few roles for women in wartime, and Peggy (by way of Sharon) responds with a line-for-line rendition of Cap’s famous “plant yourself like a tree by the river of truth” speech from the Civil War comics. Steve is obviously affected by this, and after the funeral, Widow comes up and asks if he’s ready to go to Vienna to sign the treaty, and he says no.
In Vienna, everyone has gathered to sign the treaty. Widow introduces herself to King T’Chaka, who thanks her for her willingness to sign the treaty and right the Avengers’ wrongs. She is also introduced to T’Challa, who after a brief introduction speaks privately with his father, and T’Chaka tells his son he is proud of how diplomatic he has become recently, and that he will be a good king someday. During T’Chaka’s speech though, T’Challa and Widow notice a K-9 unit outside going crazy outside of a news van, and suddenly the room explodes. T'Challa dives for his father but is cast backwards by the blast. In the rubble, T’Chaka is dead and T’Challa grieves for him, taking a black ring from his finger. Security footage immediately places Bucky at the scene of the crime, and news around the world suddenly has Bucky’s face plastered all over. Widow comforts T’Challa outside, but he threatens to find Bucky and kill him in revenge, leaving in a rage. Steve calls Widow, who warns him not to get involved because of compounding damage from Sokovia, Lagos, and now Vienna. There’s a small scene in here somewhere, in which Vision is at home making some food with paprika to cheer up Wanda, and she’s enamored by his efforts until she realizes that Tony has instructed Vision to hold her prisoner inside the facility and not let her leave.
Bucharest. Bucky is buying plums from an outdoor market when he notices people staring at him. He goes to a newsstand and sees his face on a paper, so he rushes back to his apartment. Steve is already in his apartment, reading his diary, and does not notice Bucky entering. Steve asks which Bucky he’s speaking with, and then warns him the police are outside the building, about to break in with shoot-to-kill orders. Bucky claims that he wasn’t responsible for Vienna, and all of a sudden the police barge in, and Steve suddenly finds himself beating up cops. Bucky tries to run, and Steve follows, injuring cops but not killing them. Bucky flees across a rooftop when suddenly he’s accosted by the Black Panther, who slashes, cuts, and leaps like a cat. Steve makes the jump to the roof as well, and they both stave off Panther long enough for Bucky to jump down onto the highway, steal a bike from a motorist, and run. At this point there are literally dozens of cops following them, and Falcon is trying to keep track of what’s going on from above. During the chase scene, Panther leaps onto Falcon, disables his wings, then launches off a car to slash Bucky’s tires out, and suddenly they all find themselves surrounded. Cap, Bucky, Panther, and Falcon are arrested and brought to Berlin.
In the van in the ride to Berlin, T’Challa asks Steve why, if he couldn’t protect New York, DC, or Sokovia, does he think he can protect Bucky, and threatens to kill Bucky the moment he’s free. They are taken to the German Bundestag in Berlin, where they meet Martin Freeman’s character, called Everett Ross (no way that’s going to be confusing later on), who is flanked by Sharon, who takes their suits and gives them receipts for it. Tony arrives, furious, and asks what the hell is going on. He’s on the phone with Ross (the other one) and promises that there will be consequences. Tony and Steve fight about whether it was right for Steve to intervene, then the conversation takes a lull and Steve asks about Pepper. Tony replies that she broke up with him, and admits he can be a lot to handle at time, and wonders how his parents made it work with Howard being like he was. Tony and Steve share a memory of Howard, and Tony offers Steve the pen from WWII that Howard used to sign some peace treaty or other, so that he can sign the accords and Tony can wipe the whole incident behind them. Steve refuses and Tony sits down, exhausted.
Meanwhile, Bucky is being interrogated on tape by none other than Zemo himself, who says the same buzzwords that re-activates Bucky’s Winter Soldier persona. The Winter Soldier, enraged, rips his shackles and cage off and then says he is ready to comply. Zemo asks about a mission from 1991 and the scene cuts. Meanwhile, everyone else is freaking out about losing audio and video of the interrogation. When Steve gets down there, he finds a trail of bodies, including Zemo, who is feigning injury, and Steve leaves Zemo and runs after Bucky. In the lobby, Bucky is attacked by Tony, Widow, and T’Challa, who kicks his ass but still somehow escapes. He commandeers a helicopter, which Steve successfully pulls back to the building and subsequently crashes. Steve rescues Bucky from the river and takes him to an abandoned warehouse, where Sam meets up with him (this was the Ant-Man post-credits scene). Steve has Bucky’s arm in a vice, and he asks again which Bucky he’s talking to. Bucky says something only Steve would know, and says he didn’t do Vienna but that he was framed. Steve asks what Zemo asked him, and Bucky says that he was asking about a mission from 1991, where it’s revealed that the bioweapon Bucky stole back then was used to create more super-soldiers. There is a flashback, where Bucky narrates how they used the serum to create six new Winter Soldiers, all of whom are top assassins who speak thirty languages and can destabilize an entire government in a single night. He reveals that they are alive and are being kept in cryostasis in Siberia, and that he thinks Zemo is planning to unleash the six Winter Soldiers on the world. Cap asks Falcon if they can ask Tony for help, but Steve doesn’t think Tony will believe that Bucky is innocent. Sam says he knows a guy.
Tony, meanwhile, pleads with Everett Ross to let him be the one to bring in Steve and Bucky, and promises he can have them both in custody in 72 hours. Ross gives him 36 hours and tells him this is his last chance. Tony is hoping to avoid anyone getting hurt, and is frustrated that Steve is making his life so difficult by not understanding the hard place he’s in. Widow, who by this point is on Tony’s side, asks who they can ask for help in bringing in Steve. Tony says he knows a guy. Cut to Queens, NY, where we follow a teenager up a flight of stairs into his apartment, where he finds Tony sitting on the couch with his Aunt May. Peter Parker is stunned and basically asks what the hell Tony is doing here, and they improvise a spiel about Peter somehow winning Tony’s MIT grant and forgetting to tell Aunt May about it. Tony and Peter talk in Peter’s room, where Tony shows Peter proof that he knows he’s Spider-Man. Peter denies being Spider-Man until Tony pulls down on the attic string and Peter’s costume falls out. Tony asks Peter why he does what he does, and Peter says that he’s doing it to stand up for the little guy. He says that because he couldn’t be a football player before he got his powers, he shouldn’t be a football player now. He says it’s about being fair and using your powers equivalently. Tony asks if Peter’s ever been to Berlin before and Peter complains that he has an algebra test in the morning. Meanwhile, at the Avengers facility, Vision is housesitting still when he sees an explosion outside. He phases out to investigate, and suddenly Hawkeye shows up and breaks Wanda out. They’re almost clear when Vision phases back in and he and Hawkeye fight, with Hawkeye losing badly. Vision tells him he can’t win, and Hawkeye responds with, “No, but she can,” and Wanda suddenly manipulates the Soul Gem on Vision’s forehead and sends him crashing through the floor and down hundreds of feet into the earth. Hawkeye and Wanda escape.
Steve, Sam, and Bucky meet up with Sharon under a bridge, where she returns their gear and kisses Cap, to the approving nods from Bucky and Sam in the car. They then travel to a parking garage, where Cap, Falcon, Wanda, and Bucky meet up with Hawkeye, who has Scott Lang in the back of his van (this was another previously-released clip). With Captain America, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, Ant-Man, and the Winter Soldier on one side, Steve details the plan. They need to get to Siberia to stop Zemo from unleashing the other Winter Soldiers on the world, but to do that they need to access a Quinjet that Tony has stashed at Leipzig Airport. They arrive at the airport and walk out onto the landing strip.

They are intercepted by Iron Man, War Machine, Black Widow, Black Panther, Vision, and Spider-Man. Tony tells Steve he has less than 11 hours left to bring him in before Ross sends in an army, and he begs Steve to put his pride aside and just come with them so nobody else has to die. Widow also urges Steve to not let this turn into a fight, but he refuses, and the battle begins. Panther goes straight for Bucky’s throat, Cap and Iron Man clash, Falcon and War Machine go at it, Spider-Man and Ant-Man fight, Widow and Hawkeye fight, and Witch and Vision fight, although this changes frequently. Spider-Man in particular is amazing to watch, as he goes toe-to-toe with Winter Soldier effortlessly, grabbing his metal arm and asking him what it’s made out of. He webs both Winter Soldier and Falcon before Redwing blasts him out of the sky and Falcon cuts them loose. Bucky asks why he didn’t do that sooner and Sam says, “I hate you.” Spider-Man also goes one-on-one with Cap, who, after telling him he has a good heart but his faith is in the wrong person, throws an airplane on top of him, then asks where he’s from. Spider-Man says “Queens,” and Cap smiles and says, “Brooklyn.” After a few minutes of fighting, Cap tells his team that they need to get to the Quinjet, and Hawkeye suggests that maybe in order for Steve and Bucky to win, the rest of their side has to lose, and although Steve is uncomfortable with sacrificing his team, he agrees, and he and Bucky take off running. Scott tells Steve to make a run for it when he gives the signal, and then turns into Giant-Man, where he knocks War Machine and Spider-Man out of the sky. Spider-Man asks if anyone has seen “that old movie” The Empire Strikes Back, and Rhodey asks how old Spider-Man is, and Tony snipes back that he didn’t carbon-date him when he recruited him but that he veered on the younger side. Turns out Peter had a point, and he starts wrapping web around Giant-Man’s legs in order to trip him up, which reverts Scott back to normal size. Cap is almost to the hangar when the Vision intercepts them, slicing an air control tower off and dropping it in front of their path. They are able to slide through the rubble right as the door closes, only to find Widow waiting on the other side. She has a gun aimed at Steve then finally drops it and tells him to go, while she holds off Panther, who is also climbing through the rubble. She shoots a shock at him again and again, only momentarily tripping him up, but Cap and Bucky get away.

As they fly off, Rhodey attempts to catch the Quinjet, and Falcon tries to catch Rhodey, and Vision, from the ground, shoots a massive energy beam at Falcon to try to shake him off, only for Falcon to barrel roll out of the way and Vision’s beam hits Rhodey instead, knocking out all of his power systems. Rhodes is helpless and terrified as he falls hundreds of feet, with both Falcon and Iron Man diving to save him, only to miss by a few seconds. Tony finds Rhodey barely alive but unconscious, and as Falcon walks over to try to help Tony blasts him away in a rage. Rhodes is rushed to the ER, where it’s revealed that he’s paralyzed from the waist down. Vision apologizes for his part in this, and Tony tells him to go home and that he’s done letting other people pay the price for his mistakes. Cap’s team of rogue Avengers is locked up in a secret Interpol supermax prison, formerly SHIELD’s, called The Raft, which is a big floating dome that pops up out of the ocean. Scott, Wanda, Clint, and Sam are imprisoned here, with Wanda in particular looking terrible. Widow comes to Tony, and he confronts her about her betrayal, and he makes a biting personal attack that she couldn’t resist being a double agent, and she tells him that he has no shame. He says that now that Panther told Interpol that she betrayed Tony’s team, they’ll be coming for her next, and she tells him to watch his back. Spider-Man got to go home, as during the airport fight he broke several ribs and Tony managed to evacuate him.
Tony goes to the Raft, and on the way, Friday tells him that the psychologist that was supposed to interrogate Bucky back in Berlin was found dead in Zemo’s hotel bathtub, with a lifelike Bucky mask next to him, thus proving that Bucky was set up. Tony asks Sam where Steve and Bucky went, saying that he only wants to speak as a friend, but the other Avengers treat Tony like a traitor and call him names like backstabber, and Hawkeye says “Watch out, this guy will shoot you out of the sky.” After Tony reveals that he is muting the conversation with Ross, he says that he believes Bucky is innocent and only wants to help Steve, and Sam reveals their destination: Siberia.
Tony flies out to Siberia, where Steve and Bucky have already started poking around the abandoned compound. The three of them call a truce, and Tony reveals that he knows Bucky is innocent and that they’re all being set up, and together Cap, Iron Man, and Bucky poke around the facility, only to discover the six Winter Soldiers, still in their cryogenic chambers, each one shot through the head. The doors lock and Zemo reveals himself, saying that he never wanted more people like Bucky loose in the wild, and that it was only a ploy to get the Avengers to fight amongst themselves. He turns on a videotape, the result of his investigation into Bucky’s 1991 mission, and as the three of them watch it, Tony says, “Wait, I know that road. What is this?” He realizes that he is watching the security camera footage of his parents’ death. It flashes back to the opening scene of the film, where we see an extended version of the scene. After crashing the Starks’ car, Bucky pulls Howard out of the car, punches him in the face with his metal arm until he dies, then places him back in his car so it looks like an accident, then walks around to the other side, to Maria, who is crying out of fear, and strangles her to death. He then walks over to the security camera, so you can clearly see it’s Bucky, then shoots it, ending the video. Tony is stricken with rage and grief, and he asks Steve if he knew. Steve dances around the question, and finally reveals that he knew, but didn’t want Tony to get hurt.
Tony dons the full Iron Man armor and begins pummeling the **** out of Bucky. Steve intervenes and tries to distract Tony, telling Bucky to escape, but Iron Man bombs the exits and seals everything for they’re all trapped inside. Bucky and Steve double-team Tony, brutally beating each other to within an inch of their lives. Meanwhile outside, Baron Zemo has escaped the complex. He is sitting in the snow, listening to the same voicemail he’d been listening to throughout the movie. Suddenly Black Panther sneaks up behind him, and he listens to the voicemail too. It is Zemo’s wife. Zemo had been a Sokovian special forces soldier, and during Ultron’s attack, he evacuated his wife and son to his father’s house in the countryside. He thought they would be safe there, but then the Avengers dropped Sokovia on them. When they cleared the rubble weeks later, they found the bodies of his wife and son, protected by the body of his father. Zemo says that in a single day the Avengers took everything from him, and so he wanted to destroy not only the Avengers, but the governments that supported the Avengers. When he realized that stronger villains than he had failed to take down the Avengers, he decided to make them fight each other, which is why he was hunting the videotape of Bucky killing the Starks, which would turn the Avengers’ leader against it’s financier. He was never interested in the other Winter Soldiers. T’Challa listens quietly, then says that there is so much violence and retribution in the world, and he sees how it is consuming everyone else, and he refuses to let it consume him any longer. Zemo pulls out a gun and tries to shoot himself in the head, but Panther’s vibranium glove stops the bullet, and Panther takes him back to face justice.
Meanwhile, Steve, Tony, and Bucky are all nearly-dead. Bucky tries to rip out Tony’s Arc Reactor and it blows his arm off, knocking him out of the fight. Friday analyzes Steve’s fighting pattern and adapts, but Steve is still determined to protect Bucky to the end, and he beats Tony to within an inch of his life and then stabs his shield into Tony’s chest, killing the arc reactor. Steve takes Bucky and leaves. Tony shouts that that shield doesn’t belong to Cap, that it belonged to Howard, and Steve contemptuously tosses it away back at Tony.
In the aftermath, Tony is helping Rhodey learn how to walk again with an Iron Man-ish exoskeleton, when Stan Lee the Fedex driver comes to deliver a letter. It’s from Steve, and it’s basically an apology for hiding the truth from Tony, and Steve says he did it to protect himself, not Tony, and that he was sorry everything turned out the way it did. As Steve is voice-overing the letter, we see Steve breaking into the Raft and breaking out Wanda, Scott, Sam, and Clint, as he promises to always be there when he’s needed. Tony sets down the letter and looks off into the distance, upset.
In the one post-credits scene we saw, Steve and Bucky are recuperating at a highly advanced medical facility. Steve asks Bucky if he’s sure he wants to do this, and Bucky (still missing an arm), says that until he wipe away his brainwashing, he’s too dangerous to live. He then steps into a cryogenic chamber and allows himself to be re-frozen. Steve walks out and sees T’Challa, who is watching. They talk, and T’Challa says that he failed both his father and Bucky, but that if he can get help one of them find peace, he will be happy. The camera pans out and shows that Steve and Bucky are hiding in Wakanda, in a secret high-tech facility in the middle of the rainforest, guarded by a massive statue of a black panther.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I was wondering if you knew any fics where Stiles and Derek are in different relationships with different people but they go to high school together and are having like a tutoring session, and they kiss and then break up with the people they were with. I'm very sorry if this is too specific, but thanks! (Even if you don't find any, thanks!) love the blog!

I found high school au with tutoring. Not necessarily with other relationships. I did my best. - Anastasia

Originally posted by princetonarchives

You’ve got to break some eggs… by Stilienski

(1/1 I 3,851 I General)

Derek really shouldn’t have taken the dare to egg the sheriff’s house. How did he let Jackson talk him into this again? Now the sheriff got home way earlier than expected and Derek was going to get arrested and fuck his life, really. Honestly, Derek never meant to put the blame on Stiles, but what was he supposed to do?

Or the one where a fake break up fight leads to a real first kiss.

I’ve Got The Past by brokenpromisesandhope

(1/1 I 4,037 I Not Rated)

Stiles runs into Derek at the grocery store seven years after a horrible night.

Don’t Judge a Derek By His Cover by captaintinymite (augopher)

(1/1 I 4,510 I Mature)

Stiles doesn’t care about the rumors surrounding Beacon Hills High School’s resident bad boy, Derek Hale. In fact, he thinks the rumors are total crap. Of course, being secretly in love with someone has a way of clouding one’s judgment.

However, he knew for a fact that Derek liked books. So when the two paired up for a final English project, he was excited (but also a little terrified).

But you know what they say…never judge a book by its cover. The same goes for people.

You Fixed My Life by LoveActually_rps

(1/1 I 10,992 I Teen)

John Stilinski had had to change tutors for his son five times in a single month so far – ranging from professors and experienced private tutors to intelligent college and university students. None of them had survived more than a week. Greenberg had had given up after just four days.

“Beware of the boy,” Greenberg had warned Derek. “And…stay away from Roscoe,” he had muttered, looking weak and terrified, as if he was recollecting some nasty nightmare.

“Roscoe?”

Greenberg had already fled before he could entertain further confused queries from Derek.

(aka - Stiles is a rich, spoiled brat, struggling academically(or is he?). Derek is his new tutor, who just needs a job.
Of course, Stiles owns a grumpy cat – Roscoe - and Derek doesn’t get along with it.)

Love is too Plebeian by Blue_Jaye_Fevre

(12/? I 22,266 I Mature)

Derek Hale is a gangly mess of limbs who begins his sophomore year of High School as a nerdy, socially maladjusted pariah. Stiles “Iceman” Stilinski is the Captain of the Beacon Hills Hockey Team and a gigantic slab of brooding beefcake. Will they recognise their feelings for each other in spite of their flaws and an ensemble of insane friends and family members?

Bad Habits by Fudgebug

(12/12 I 108,296 I Explicit)

“Mmmmh pretty.“ Stiles purrs in a way that makes a wild fire torch the planes of his skin.
He knows Stiles is drunk and that the boy would probably stroke a pineapple and compliment its attractiveness, but Derek can’t help the way his heart starts to be a huge backstabbing dick, thundering uncontrollably against his chest.
It’s painful, because Derek knows it isn’t real.

A story about goody-two-shoes Derek crushing on a Polish Prince Charming with a drinking habit - also the universe keeps on shoving astral poop into his face. It’s utterly spectacular.

Loving the Enemy 1/3

Originally posted by collisionofdcandmarvel


Pairing: Bucky x Stark!Reader
Warnings: Civil War spoilers. Angst. Slight panic attack.
Summary: The youngest Stark was left with her older brother after her parent’s deaths. What happens when years later she falls in love with her parent’s murderer?
A/N: I’ve decided to make it into a mini-series. College is really hectic, which means I won’t be able to post that regularly, but I will try my hardest. Love you all! @aseasyasdeanspie @bovaria
Word Count: 2000+

December 19th 1991

“Mommy? Do you have to go?” The young 6 year old asked her mother. “I’m afraid so darling, we’ll be back in a week. Okay?” The intelligent 6 year old nodded profusely before she turned and ran towards her older brother, pouncing on top of him in her Christmassy dress.

Keep reading

All the (Best) QUOTES from Captain America Civil War

The following are the (best) quotes from the latest MCU Installment, Captain America Civil War. (This is also very LONG.)

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

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Rant, Again: Transformers.

Apparently one reader felt my last rant was misleading. Fair enough, I didn’t talk about the content of Transformers: Age of Extinction and used it as a segue into our greater problem of lowering the achievement bar to a point where even things like picking our nose is considered a grand accomplishment. It’s the reason why I called it a rant, and not a topic. Rants can go anywhere, I just needed a starting point. I apologize for the misdirection, but I won’t apologize for my politics.

But if it’s a rant against the movie that was advertised, then who am I to unfairly not deliver? Transformers: Age of Extinction was the seed for my rant, so let’s find out where it all started. Against my better judgement, I watched the movie.

Emerging from the film I had the urgent need to chug a Bud Light in one of those fancy blue cans, to eat an Oreo cookie, to buy my wife some Victoria’s Secret and pretend in my mind that she’s underage jailbait. My brain feels this because I’d been bombarded these messages for 165 fucking minutes nonstop, a relentless 3D barrage of product placement and pent-up Bay psychosis and misogyny.

Oh fuck. Misogyny! Watch out, here I come with my bullshit politics again. Let me address that thought right after we finish this agonizingly long crane up Nicola Peltz’ legs and hold on her booty shorts, all the while we’re reminded multiple times in the film that she’s underage. Michael Bay wants us to know this. He also creates a giant vagina robot that gets blown away and has his a-hole protogonist-bot quip: “Take that, bitch!”

Ah, such eloquence. Such displays of a gentleman’s entertainment. Gimme that beer (or berrrh). Better yet give me that weird Chinese beverage that is so prominently displayed for no other reason that there’s a demographic to be cashed in upon. Wait - did Stanley Tucci just take the most incredible transmographic compound in the history of the universe and turn it into a ‘Beats by Dr. Dre’ bluetooth sound pill? This just shows us that Michael Bay isn’t stupid, he’s just mocking our own stupidity, which simply makes him an asshole. An asshole we’re freely giving our money to. Over and over again.

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Halfway through this cinematic equivalent of punching myself in the nuts- wait, let me correct that, because I’m being an insensitive liberal asshole here. Comparing this movie to punching myself in the nuts is an insult to the underrepresented minority of people who actually enjoy getting repeatedly punched in the nuts. I’m sorry for being so insensitive and hostile to people having a good time. Go ahead and ignore the ‘do not try this at home’ warning on the last Jackass movie and create papercuts on your scrotum and pour lime juice into it. Have mindless fun. That’s your right, and I’ll pay to see you do it.

Because this is America (or better yet TEXAS, USA as the film reminds us, because there are so many other Texas’ out there) and in America we want our stories to not make sense and show Frasier Crane getting paid to lead an anti-immigrant parable only to have that mildly interesting plot point killed off in favor of even more questionable jailbait humor. Hey look, Nicola’s Red Bull-sponsored racing boyfriend just produced a legal document that says in Texas it’s okay to fondle an underage girl. Well I’m glad Michael Bay cleared that up for us.

Maybe I should follow the lead of the blatantly pan-Asian autobot (thank GOD they got rid of the blatantly ghetto Black autobot from the last movie) and try not to rock the boat. This is just a movie after all, and it’s okay if a movie has denigrating lowest-hanging-fruit messages like not being able to make an omelet without breaking some eggs (an Autobot yelling “just run ‘em over’ in reference to not being able to get those pesky humans out of the way) and Pleistocene revisionism that would make intelligent design proponents desperately look for scientific logic. It’s okay. This is entertainment, where nothing has to work, as long as it gets blown up in the end by a robot riding a giant fucking robot dinosaur.


I miss old curmudgeon Grimlock.

Sure, stupid is a form of entertainment. But lace that stupidity with misogyny, sexism, racism, nihilism, sociopath tendencies to kill innocent bystanders and NOT have any of these aforementioned elements be a part of the narrative or character development is just outright pandering to the worst parts of human civilization. It’s a propaganda snuff film, one that purports to be mindless entertainment and yet fuels and reinforces our most selfish and evil behavior. It’s absolute fucking horse shit, and we gave it our money, and because we gave it our money, we’ll continue to get more and more of it. Like FIFA. Like Hobby Lobby. Like Chick-Fil-A.

By giving shit like Transformers a pass, we’re giving passivity a positive veneer. Transformers doesn’t even try to be good, and we accept it as passable entertainment. We’ve given up even trying to embrace good entertainment, because as Robert Greene wrote “if we don’t try too much in life, if we limit our circle of action, we can give ourselves the illusion of control. The less we attempt, the less chances at failure. If we can make it look like we are not really responsible for our fate, for what happens to us in life, then our apparent powerlessness is more palatable.”

So continue to justify the inane and empower it in the name of mindless entertainment, of good chicken, of our God-given right to have a good time at anyone’s expense, because those people are far away and have nothing to do with our lives. That’s our right, let the next generation worry about the consequences of our insouciance, our fear of losing creature comforts, our desire to not fight for our right to party responsibly. The right to party has to be earned, it is not an entitlement.

THAT’S what I got from Transformers: The Age of Extinction. Sorry I misdirected on the last post, I hope this clears it up. Let’s go enjoy Tammy this weekend, I hear it’s insanely stupid entertainment.