break em down

Caretaker Chara and their love for monsters

butterflygon submitted: Heya! So… after seeing people questioning Chara’s care for monsterkind, I wanted to try and make an analysis of my own.

Okay, for starters, let’s look at all the interactions Chara has had with the rest of the cast. So far, Chara has interacted with, in order of story appearance: Frisk, Asriel, the Riverperson, Dogamy and Dogaressa, one unnamed background monster on the way to the castle, Asgore and Toriel, Gaster, Thess and Sessi, and Officer Fien. Keep in mind that all these are characters that Chara has interacted with directly, so let’s break ‘em down:

Frisk- It’s very darn obvious by now that Chara and Frisk don’t like each other in the slightest because the former wants the latter dead, and it certainly doesn’t help that Frisk is a human and Chara absolutely hates humans. However, it’s interesting to note that when Frisk and Chara first met, Chara was very polite, almost kindly, towards Frisk, and didn’t immediately act with hostility as soon as they saw the kid, even though as far as Chara knew, it would have probably been perfectly safe to attack Frisk right then and there; there were no monsters nearby to witness the prince going stab crazy on a helpless child, and yet, Chara chose to act as a kindly guide and have the puzzles of the Ruins do the dirty work for them. It wasn’t until Frisk and Chara reached the end of the Ruins that Chara decided to finally drop the act and go for the direct approach, and even then Chara still offered Frisk some pie as a reward and talked a little with them before the stabbing occurred. I think this is important to consider because it indicates that Chara is perfectly capable of acting nice and friendly even towards people that they despise, although Chara will still reveal their true feelings eventually.

Asriel- Chara’s interactions with Asriel are probably the most enigmatic and ambiguous in the story: there’s plenty of evidence that Chara does love for Asriel, and Asriel loves Chara back. I mean, the two have known each other since they were young teens, and they have been married for a little over a decade. And it should be noted that Chara has shown genuine concern for Asriel’s wellbeing, such as when they warned Asriel to not get too close to Frisk (monsters are physically weaker than humans, and Frisk had already proven that they aren’t shy of defending themselves with physical force if it is needed, so Chara had a very good reason to be worried). Chara also seemed to be sad at having to kill Frisk in front of their husband, whom Chara knows is very sensitive, even telling him not to look. Heck, Asriel is even able to convince Chara not to kill Frisk for the time being, so in a way he could be considered Chara’s moral compass. Granted, it is made clear that Frisk’s execution was merely postponed, not cancelled, which is probably what facilitated Chara agreeing to imprison Frisk. But on the other hand, several people have already noticed several subtle but concerning red flags in the way Chara behaves towards Asriel: Chara seems to be somewhat controlling of Asriel, giving the latter little to no say in most things, and sometimes the way Chara talks to Asriel seems less like they’re addressing a friend/spouse and equal and more like they’re talking to a subordinate, and there have been a couple of times where Chara seemingly threatened Asriel. The first time was at the prison, when Asriel hit his head on the doorframe and Chara used this as an excuse for him to stay outside, but when Asriel tried to refuse Chara glared at him with a very forced smile that clearly startled Asriel into complying. The second time is at Asgore and Toriel’s home, where Chara accidentally reveals too much about their plan; Asriel tries to prevent Chara from storming out of the house and wants them to explain themself, but Chara just screams at him to get out of the way, which Asriel promptly does. Finally, we have the interaction in Memory: Bonds, where two monsters refer to Chara and Asriel’s bond as a bond of siblings, something that Chara seems to take a lot of offense to, leading them to accidentally hurt Asriel’s feelings, causing him to cry and try to leave. What’s interesting is that Chara’s reaction to seeing Asriel in this state is not one of concern, but of frustration: Chara doesn’t see how their words could have possibly hurt their best friend. Chara does reassure and comfort Asriel, but doesn’t apologize for hurting his feelings, and instead makes an appeal to their status as Asriel’s best friend. I mean, yes, Chara didn’t intend to make Asriel feel bad, but they could have said something like “Sorry Asriel, that’s not what I meant when I said you are nothing like my brother, I should have been clearer”. This is all very subtle, but it shows signs of possible emotional abuse and manipulation from Chara to Asriel, as the way Chara behaves is very reminiscent of how emotionally abusive partners behave in real life. Now, this doesn’t mean that Chara’s love for Asriel isn’t genuine; after all, it’s not uncommon for abusive romantic partners to justify their own behavior towards their loved ones and even themselves (i.e. saying things like “it’s not that big a deal” or “I only do this because I care about you”). And we should also keep in mind that Chara’s past on the surface, which obviously played a huge role in shaping Chara’s current persona, is still largely a mystery, so for all we know the reason Chara behaves the way they do is because they genuinely don’t realize that the way they treat Asriel is wrong.

The Riverperson- Chara only talked to the Riverperson to get a ride to the New Home Prison, and giving rides to people is literally Riverperson’s job. There’s really nothing of significance here.

Dogamy and Dogaressa- These two are the guards that Asriel called to prepare Frisk’s prison cell. And Interlude: Patience also shows that Chara called them to pick up a sleepy Asriel and escort him home. On both occasions, Chara was reasonably polite towards them, and seems to find them reliable.

Unnamed Background Monster- It’s very brief, but in page 63, when Chara and Asriel are on the way to the castle, the first panel shows Chara waving to a black, octopuslike one-eyed monster, who is also waving. Presumably, the monster is the one who waved first and Chara simply returned the greeting. There’s not much else to say here, really, but I wanted to cover all the bases. It does show that the monsters do hold Chara in high esteem.

Asgore and Toriel- the first time we see Chara interact with the king and queen of the Underground is during Interlude: Patience, at the Old Home Hospital. Toriel and Asgore are concerned for Ribbon Kid’s safety and hope to save the child’s life, Toriel asks Chara for help, but of course Chara knows nothing about medicine, so it’s not like they could do much even if they wanted to. But then Chara asks about Ribbon Kid’s soul, which visibly makes everyone in the room uncomfortable, and Chara has a small argument with Toriel due to both having different priorities; Toriel is more concerned about saving Ribbon Kid’s life, while Chara only cares about their soul. Asgore tries to put Chara’s mind at ease by telling them that a plan has already been made, but Chara continues trying to press the discussion further, which leads to a harsh reprimand from Toriel. At this point the interaction between Chara and the monarchs seems very much like that of a child with their guardians, with the scenario here being that of parents trying to deal with a stubborn and somewhat insensitive child. Flash forward 21-ish years later and we see that Chara is nervous about having to tell Asgore and Toriel about Frisk, fearing that “their emotions will dominate their senses”, immediately followed by Chara offhandedly calling Toriel “stubborn”. When the princes finally arrive to the castle it is Chara who tells the news of the captive human, though the way they reveal this is what is interesting: it seemed that Asriel was going to deliver this news first, but Chara stops him and asks for ice and a first aid kit, and then reveals the wound Frisk inflicted on them. Next Chara recounts how they met Frisk, but they twist or leave out numerous details to make it seem like Frisk was a deliberately malicious intruder who attacked Chara unprovoked instead of a confused and scared kid who only attacked Chara in an act of self-defense. This is another example of Chara being manipulative, and in addition an example of Chara being insincere. Chara probably does care about Toriel and Asgore, but the events of chapter 3 prove that Chara isn’t above lying to them.

Gaster- The first and last time we saw Gaster was in Interlude: Patience. It was from him that Chara learned what Asgore and Toriel’s plan for Ribbon Kid’s soul was. Gaster also offered Chara to assist him, to which Chara agreed to after brief hesitation. But what is more interesting is what happened after Gaster’s accident: the lab is destroyed, Gaster is missing, and the one human soul the monsters had is also gone forever. Chara is notably less concerned about Gaster’s wellbeing than they are about the fact that Ribbon Kid’s soul is gone, heck, Chara even calls Gaster a failure for losing the soul. And later, Chara saves right before talking to Asriel, and many have noted that that save looked very deliberate, and an indication that by this point in time, Chara is aware of their determination and what it can do. It’s not confirmed yet, but if that is indeed the case, then it’s extremely worrying that Chara would chose not to save Gaster (even if only for the sake of also saving the human soul) despite having the power to do so.

Thess and Sessi (god I hope I’m spelling these correctly…)- These two did a pretty good job of ticking Chara off; their innocent comment about Chara and Asriel being like siblings accidentally offended Chara, which earned them an angry spiel, leading the two to quietly leave. Chara was rude to these gals, but that’s most likely just because they accidentally pushed the wrong button, so to speak.

Officer Fien- A very quick interaction, occurring at the start of Interlude: Power. The good officer tries to stop Chara and Asriel from entering a quarantined area, but Chara simply shows her their badge and carries on, even though she still warned them that it wasn’t safe.

And that just about covers it. These are all the interactions Chara has had as of this writing. So, what can we gather from all these? Well, as you can see, most of Chara’s interactions with other characters have some degree of negativity to them. Frisk’s case is self-evident, but even Chara’s behavior towards monsters is kinda worrying: they manipulate towards Asriel and his parents, they get outraged at Thess and Sessi’s comments, and they didn’t even attempt to save Gaster despite having the ability to do so. Now, what is interesting about the negative interactions with the monsters is that almost all of them involve humans to some degree: Chara tries to manipulate Asgore and Toriel, but it’s for the purpose of getting Frisk executed; they get outraged at Thess and Sessi’s comments, but it’s implied that it’s because Chara doesn’t see sibling relationships as positive, which could be a hint of what happened to them on the surface that lead them to become a misanthrope; and finally we have poor Doctor Gaster, who was done in by his own experiments and took a soul with him, and whom Chara does not even seem to contemplate saving, presumably because they don’t want to risk Gaster being a “failure” again. 

Based on this, my conclusion is that Chara probably does care about monsters and has an unhealthy way of showing it. But beyond that, it seems that Chara could very well care less about monsters than they do about hurting humans. Chara has some really messed up priorities if that’s the case.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this analysis, and sorry for the wall of text!

I was at Coachella
Leaning on your shoulder
Watching your husband swing in time
I guess I was in it
Cause baby for a minute
It was Woodstock in my mind
In the next morning
They put out the warning
Tensions were rising over country lines
I turned off the music
Tried to sit and use it
All of the love that I saw that night

‘Cause what about all these children
And what about all their parents
And what about about all their crowns they wear
In hair so long like mine
And what about all their wishes
Wrapped up like garland roses
Round their little heads
I said a prayer for a third time

I’d trade it all for a stairway to heaven (a stairway, stairway)
I’d take my time for the climb up to the top of it (stairway)
I’d trade the fame and the fortune and the legend (stairway)
I’d give it all away if you give me just one day to ask him one question
I’d give it all away if you give me just one day to ask him one question

I was at Coachella
Leaning on your shoulder
Watching your husband swing and shine
I’d say he was hella, cool to win them over
Critics can be so mean sometimes
He was on his knees and I thought he was breaking 'em down with his words and his words divine
Doesn’t take a genius to know what you’ve got going
To not want music 'cause they lost their minds

'Cause what about all these children
And all their children’s children
And why am I even wondering that today
Maybe my contribution
Could be as small as hoping
That words could turn to birds and birds would send my thoughts your way

I’d trade it all for a stairway to heaven (a stairway, stairway)
I’d take my time for the climb up to the top of it (a stairway)
I’d trade the fame and the fortune and the legend (a stairway)
I’d give it all away if you give me just one day to ask him one question
I’d give it all away if you give me just one day to ask him one question

A stairway, stairway to heaven
A stairway
Got a million things I wanna say
Like what is it all for? Will it be okay?
Million things I wanna say
Like what is it all for?
Stairway, stairway to heaven
Stairway, stairway to heaven

//Coachella-Woodstock In My Mind- Lana Del Rey Lyrics//

I was at Coachella
Leaning on your shoulder
Watching your husband swing in time
I guess I was in it
‘Cause baby, for a minute
It was Woodstock in my mind

In the next morning
They put out the warning
Tensions were rising over country lines

I turned off the music
Tried to sit and use it
All of the love that I saw that night

‘Cause what about all these children
And what about all their parents
And what about about all their crowns they wear
In hair so long like mine

And what about all their wishes
Wrapped up like garland roses
Round their little heads
I said a prayer for a third time

I’d trade it all for a stairway to heaven (a stairway, stairway)
I’d take my time for the climb up to the top of it (stairway)
I’d trade the fame and the fortune and the legend (stairway)

I’d give it all away if you give me just one day to ask him one question
I’d give it all away if you give me just one day to ask him one question

I was at Coachella
Leaning on your shoulder
Watching your husband swing and shine
I’d say he was hella, cool to win them over
Critics can be so mean sometimes

He was on his knees and I thought he was breaking ‘em down with his words and his words divine
Doesn’t take a genius to know what you’ve got going
And to not wanna lose it  'cause they lost their minds

What about all these children
And all their children’s children
And why am I even wondering that today

Maybe my contribution
Could be as small as hoping
That words could turn to birds and birds would send my thoughts your way

A stairway, stairway to heaven
A stairway
Got a million things I wanna say
Like what is it all for? Will it be okay?
Million things I wanna say
Like what is it all for?

You Too Sunshine...

This story takes place when Tracer (Lena) is off duty, as well as Emily.

It was the weekend, Lena and Emily were the only ones in out of their friends. Usually when they’re off and at home, they relax since Lena has such a stressful job. Occasionally she comes home with bumps, cuts, and bruises that Emily tends to, but it’s very rare considering Lena is friends with Angela (Mercy). A few nights a week they go out for drinks or just for dinner despite the lack of energy, Lena loves Emily and wants to make her happy in every way possible.

Lena: Hey Em?

Emily: Hm..?

Lena: I know you and I rarely spend time together, besides the nights, but I feel bad… I want you to be happy and us to be happy.

Emily: Babe… I’m happy with you. Anytime I get to see you, hear you, hug you, or kiss you, I’m happy. How about you and I go out next weekend?

Lena: Woah… Really?! You mean it?!

Emily: Duh!!


Emily: Ok, ok, calm dow-


Emily: *laughing* Calm down, you little ball of energy!!

Lena: I’M SORRY I’M JUST SO DAMN EXCITED!! *jumping around*

Emily: *puts hand on Lena’s face* Calm down… *kisses her forehead*

Lena: *hugs Em* Love you…

Emily: You too sunshine… *her mind: cute…*

The night goes on, Emily and Lena enjoy their time together with dinner, a movie, and a king sized bed awaiting it’s Queens slumber.
Time passes
Evening has passed, Lena and Emily, now relaxing in their bed looking in each other’s eyes…

Emily: Without freaking out, where do you wanna go?

Lena: I don’t really know… we never go out, so it’s hard to chose.

Emily: How about…

*Lena’s phone rings*

Lena: Ugh!! Now?!

*picks up*

Lena: Who this be?

Emily: *laying flat on her back* *her mind: why does she have to be so busy? I just want to spend time with my baby… Is that too much to ask?!*

*call ends*

Emily: *sits up* Who was that?

Lena: Commander Morrison.

Emily: Oh? What did he need?

Lena: He said next week I have 2 options, take off or come in for overtime…

Emily: *her mind: OHMYGODWHATEVENISMYLIFE?!* *says quietly outloud* YES!!

Lena: ‘Didja say somethin ‘ere?

Emily: Nope~ *leans and kisses Lena*

Emily placed her hand on Lena’s leg as the kiss passed on, Lena cupped her face on one side and laid her down slowly… Lena’s arms straddled Emily’s upper body, she leaned down and kissed Emily slowly and softly, the kiss lasted for a good while until she pulled away slowly. Lena rolled over on her back, head propped against the headboard of their bed, she took her accelerator off to charge by their bedside table, then she relaxed with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. Emily rolled over and rested her head on Lena’s chest with a smile on her face as well, she turned her head to look up at Lena’s sparkling hazel eyes while Lena opened hers to look at Emily’s glistening green eyes. As their eyes met they both laughed slightly.

Lena: *giggles* You’re so cute…

Emily: *blushes* Aw, baby…

Lena: I know where we should go…

Emily: Hm…?

Lena: The aquarium!! You love fish!!

Emily: That’s perfect!!

Lena: Then it’s a date.

Emily: *lays head back on Lena’s chest* You know… I miss this… everyday I watch the clock hoping time goes faster and faster just so I can see you. I miss you.

Lena: *pulls Emily closer* I miss you too… but you know I have stuff to do…

Emily: *nuzzles her shoulder* I know… but it’s hard. You’re out there, risking your life, any second you could be killed and then this bed wouldn’t be warm at night… on either side… *tears*

Lena: *tears* Baby…

Emily: *sits up crying* And I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t because I never want to see you go and your accelerator could be broken and you’d be gone.

Lena: *sits up and covers mouth while crying* *looks at Emily*

Emily: *screaming and crying* DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WOULD DO TO ME LENA?! *looks at her*

Lena: *paused with tears running down her face* Em-

Emily: *breaks down on hands and knees on bed sobbing* *cracking voice* I don’t want to see you go… not again…

Lena: *hugs Emily tightly with tears running down her face* *whispers* I’m not going anywhere baby…

Emily: *wraps arms around Lena tightly* *sobs*

Lena: shhhh… it’s gonna be ok, love…

Emily: *tears in eyes, she looks up at Lena* Promise me?

Lena: *Looks at Emily with tears in her eyes* ‘Ave I ever broken one?

Emily: *tilts head down* *smiles and blushes*

Lena: Hey look at me… *puts finger under Em’s chin* *tilts her head back up to her face*

Lena: I love you…

Emily: You too sunshine…

Emily rests her head back on Lena’s chest and falls asleep knowing how safe she is in her embrace.
Time passes
Night passes and it’s now morning… Emily is the early riser in this relationship lol. Emily wakes up to her on Lena’s chest and her beautiful girlfriend sleeping soundly.

Emily: You’re so cute when you’re asleep… *kisses her forehead*

Emily gets out of bed, hair a wreck, dried tears on her face…

Emily: Ugh… how did she fall in love with this mess?

She did what she normally did in the morning, brushed her hair, brushed her teeth, made tea for Lena and coffee for her, opened the blinds in the room and living room, and waited for Lena to wake up.

Lena: *Wakes up* *mumbled* Ugh… Why do mornings exiiiiist….

Lena managed to crawl out of bed looking like a depressed porcupine and did what she did in the morning, brushed her hair, gelled it up, brushed her teeth, put her glasses on, and yet still remained pants-less… with her British flag boyshortts out for show, Emily snuck into the bathroom behind her and hugged her waist.

Emily: *kisses Lena’s cheek* Good morning beautiful!!

Lena: *blushes* Morning love… Sleep alright?

Emily: As long as you’re there with me…

Emily gave Lena her the tea she always makes for her and they both walked out to their kitchen. Lena sat down still no pants and half asleep, awaiting Emily and breakfast. Emily always makes them the best English breakfasts in the world, she sat the plate in front of Lena and they both dug into it like it was their last meals.

Lena: *pulls out phone*

Emily: Anything new?

Lena: No, but Brooke keeps talking about her one night stands.. *laughs*

Emily: *laughs* Jeez, what a whore… How many has she had?

Lena: Pfft, too many to count… I wouldn’t be surprised if she got AIDS…

Emily: Ugh, I pitty her…

Time passes

Lena did the dished after breakfast. She always does.

Emily: BABE!!!

Lena: YEA?!







Lena knows where everything is in their apartment and hates it when Emily “doesn’t have shit to wear”, but considering she only wears jeans, t-shirts, and converse or crocs it’s easy for her… this is always a struggle… but she always finds what her girl wants.

Lena: *walks into their room* Whatcha lookin for…

Emily: My leggings, the black ones!!

Lena: *looking Emily dead in the eyes with a blank resting bitch face points at the leggings*

Emily: Oh…

Lena: Get dressed, I have to change as well…

They both get dressed, Lena is wearing a white tee with blue jeans, her pilot jacket, and white converse and Emily is wearing a sweater with black leggings and brown boots. It’s a relatively chilly day in London, so they wear what’s comfy for them.

Lena: Smashing outfit babe!! You look beautiful as always. *winks*

Emily: *laughs* You’re a dork…

Lena: But I’m your dork!!

Emily: Yeah, all mine… *smiles*

Emily and Lena head out for the day doing basic errands… grocery shopping, clothes shopping, paying bills, other stuff… just boring adulting.

Lena: *has hella groceries in her hands* UGH!! BLOODY HELL!!

Emily: Something wrong baby?

Lena: Babe can you get the keys? I left ‘em in the car… and my hands are full.

Emily: Yeah hold up… *gets keys and unlocks house*

Lena: *laughs* DAMN FOOD!!

Emily: *laughs* I’ll put it all away, you go relax.

Lena: Why can’t I help?

Emily: Because I said so.

Tracer: Oh, ok? Love you…

Emily: You too…

Lena felt uneasy, Emily always says sunshine after “you too”.

Lena: *talking to herself* That’s weird, Em always calls me sunshine after I tell ‘er I love 'er… Maybe she’s just tired..? What if she’s mad…? Did I do something wrong…?

Lena started to worry but the reason Emily didn’t say sunshine was because she felt something come over her… she finally noticed that she never tells Lena she loves her, she always says “you too” not “I love you too” or “not as much as I love you” or anything like that… it’s always “You too sunshine…” She didn’t know that Lena didn’t care that she didn’t say I love you back, she just loved hearing the word sunshine.

A few days pass

Lena was concerned for Emily and the aquarium is in two days, was she gonna be in a good enough mood for the date still?

It’s morning

The girls did their thing but today was different, they didn’t wake up on each other, Emily didn’t bring her tea, and they both ate plain buttered toast for breakfast.

Lena: *her mind: somethings wrong…*

Lena looked at her girlfriend, she had no smile, no emotion on her face, Emily felt like a complete dick. She has never told Lena she loved her, it crushed her. Emily had her hand sitting out on the table tapping her nails in a wave motion, Lena moved her own hand on hers, looked at her and smiled. Emily didn’t look up. She didn’t move. And the nail tapping stopped. She stood up and walked into the living room and flopped on their couch.

Lena: *tears in her eyes*

Lena wanted to cry, but instead she stood, she went into their room and laid back in their bed. Covered in blankets, Lena rolled over to see Emily standing in the door way staring at her. Emily saw the tears in Lena’s eyes, she went over to her and crouched to her head.

Emily: Baby… are you ok?

Lena: *mumbles* I could ask you the same thing…

Emily tried to stroke her head but she missed the opportunity as Lena turned to her other side to only stare at the empty space she so badly wanted Em to fill. Emily went to the other side of the bed and laid down beside her.

Lena: Do you still wanna go to the aquarium tomorrow love?

Emily: Only if you do…

Lena didn’t know what she wanted to do, but finally came to the decision to go.

Lena: Yeah, a little social interaction won’t kill us…

As the day carried on they both laid in bed all day, no errands, no TV, nothing was done…

Time passes

It’s an early morning this morning, Emily woke at five when her usual was seven, the reason she woke up was the bed was cold where Lena usually was. Emily was barely awake but as soon as she felt the cold spot and saw no dim blue light beside Lena’s table she got worried.

Emily: Lena…

Emily progressively worried more as the seconds went by.

Emily: Lena, baby this isn’t funny!! Come out, it’s not a joke!!

Emily screamed for Lena as loud as she could.


Emily got out of bed and tore the house apart, yelling for her girlfriend.

Emily: BABY?! LENA!!

Emily went out to their balcony and nearly froze as soon as the cold air hit her, she fell to her knees from the cold. She sat out there for an hour waiting for Lena to come back.

Emily: *whispers with chattering teeth and crying eyes* c-come b-b-back… I-I’m s-sorry…

Lena then soon arrived from a morning jog that she went on to find her girlfriend freezing outside with only a t-shirt and Lena’s British flag shorts on. Lena immediately threw her brown jacket on Emily whom was passed out on the balcony on her knees. Lena picked up Emily and took her inside, she turned on their TV in their room and sat with Emily cradled in her arms with blankets covering them, Emily awoke to the smell of Lena’s perfume from her jacket on her shoulders, she looked up to see Lena and felt the warmth of her arms surrounding her. Lena was talking to herself thinking Emily couldn’t hear her.

Lena: Man, sure is a shame we can’t go to the aquarium… awful cold outside today, and with Em’s condition I don’t think she’ll want to either. *lightly chuckles*

Emily shifted her body on top on Lena’s resting her legs beside Lena’s and her head on her shoulder. Lena didn’t know that she was awake, she kisses the top of her cold head. Emily wrapped her arms around Lena tightly. She looked up at her again while she was distracted watching TV, she put her hand on Lena’s face.

Lena: *softly speaking* Hey frosty… you alright?

Emily: I’m *sniff* ok…

Lena: *still speaking softly* You’re in no condition to go to the aquarium today love… Maybe another day, alright?

Emily: *nods* Where did you go? I got scared…

Lena: *lightly laughs* I just went on a jog… I wasn’t gone for long.

Emily: It felt like forever… I was terrified, I looked everywhere for you but I couldn’t find you…

Lena: Why so scared love?

Emily: You’re always here to protect me, you’re strong, brave, pretty, nice, funny, and you make me happy… I don’t like it when you go away…

Lena: Em… I’m not going anywhere… ever.

Emily: Baby…

Lena: Hm…?

Emily perked up to Lena’s head and kissed her.

Emily: *pulls away* I love you…

Lena puts their foreheads together and looks in her eyes…

Lena: You too sunshine…

Emily laughs and they both snuggle the day away… END

anonymous asked:

Hey m8 how many gigs is ur mods folder? I have 12 I wanna know there's someone with more than me bc it's an issue :/


ok to be honest with u i cheat a little bit. i have 3 separate mods folders that i change out depending on what i’m going into the sims to do, so i’ll break em down for u!

1. my storytelling cc folder

this mod folder is stocked full of maxis match cc and is the one i use in my legacy and for any storytelling-based posts i make!!! it’s 2.25gb in size. can be used for gameplay but i prefer using it to take screenshots since most of the mods are purely cosmetic.

2. my alpha cc folder

this one is recent! it’s still a wip and has lots of broken cc in it, but this is the folder i use for my alpha posts. it’s 3.16gb in size and i use it in my scott & nora posts!! I definitely do not use this folder for gameplay, it’s strictly screenshots. playing with alpha cc is real difficult and while i like the look of it in screencaps, i really dislike playing with it.

3. my gameplay/minimal cc folder

actually this is pretty much just my absolute must-have cc, mostly gameplay mods/defaults and a few other bits n pieces. it’s only 175mb in size and i use it when i actually want to play the game! i use it for my promenade save! this is what i use when i wanna play but not take screencaps, it’s super light and allows my game to run incredibly fast.

so ya that’s what cc i use, plus a few other mods like mcc and wickedwhims etc. my average cc folder size is usually about 3gb and i tend to purge it whenever it gets close to 4gb ;o; i do know people with a shitton of cc, though………i just can’t remember names but dw my dude there are SO MANY simmers who agonise over how much cc they have in their game!! i think the most i’ve ever seen was 13gb, how wild.

but listen … having lots of cc is a real struggle honestly so let old mama tea give u some tips on how to reduce your cc

  • get rid of all of it. wipe it clean. throw that shit out and start from square one (not recommended, will probably result in tears and depression naps and maybe also carpal tunnel)
  • get rid of any broken mods/duplicates. i recommend using s4s/sims 4 tray importer/mod conflict detector for this!!! i use the tray importer and just make a sim with all the broken cc on it and BAM it tells u all the file names. just trash them.
  • go through the jungle of ur cc and pick out items you don’t want/use that much. i do this on a regular basis - and if you find yourself indecisive abt something, bin it. u probably won’t use it like ever
  • be reeeeally picky when it comes to choosing cc. two hairs look similar?? pick one. be real choosy about recolours, too. a lot of maxis match cc are like frankensteins in the sense that they’re bits of different meshes stuck together/cut off so u just have to not swamp urself with a whole bunch of shit that looks the same uk?? idk if that makes any sense but just periodically go thru your mods folder like once a month and PURGE
  • DID I MENTION PURGING??? only keep your faves
  • if you think “i might use this one day” u will not use it. ever. bin it.

i hoped this helps u some chica!!!!! cc is the bane of my life

Top of the World (Rowdy 3 fic)

Read on AO3

Summary: Amanda takes the Rowdy 3 to their first outdoor fair. 

This is at least 95% @setmeatopthepyre‘s fault. Just saying. :P

Top of the World

It was perfect. She knew it would be as soon as she’d seen it. The rides, the treats, the energy that always filled fairgrounds. It had been a good idea right up until the moment that Amanda found out that none of her boys had ever been to a fair before. Then it had become a great idea.

The Rowdy boys loved it. Gripps found the cotton candy, Cross came back with a cup of beer almost the size of his face to join Vogel as he went to town at the wack-a-mole game, moving faster than the game could keep up with. He shouted and cursed at it until Amanda lured him away with funnel cake and the beers Cross had pointed her to. It was just in time, too, because he was ready to go back to the van and get his golf club.

After an hour there - longer than Amanda had seen pretty much anything keep her boys’ undivided attention - they claimed a table, drinking and eating junk food, and from the way they were bouncing she thought this must have been a pretty good place to pick up on excess energy. There was plenty to go around.

“Have you guys checked out the rides?” Amanda asked as Martin set down a new round of beers. “They’ve got one that spins you around nearly until you puke and one that flips you all the way upside down.”

She watched three sets of eyes grow at that one, but Martin pushed a rough breath from somewhere deep in his throat. “That ain’t a good one.”

“Did you hear her, Martin? She said upside down!” Vogel pointed out, giggling as he bent over to imitate being flipped. Amanda grinned and that only egged him on.

“Those ones got cages to lock ya in,” Martin answered as he put a cigarette to his lips and lit it.

The table went quiet and Amanda winced. “I’d forgotten about that one,” she mumbled apologetically. The rides would require them to be locked down, sometimes entirely closed in. Of course none of them would like that. Not after what they’d been through.

“They got this thing,” Vogel said, breaking the silence. He popped his palms on the wooden table to make sure all eyes were in him. “You see it, Cross? They got it. It’s a game!”

He perked a little at that. “What’s it do?”

“You throw the balls. Throw ‘em and break the glass and they give you somethin’!”

“I wanna break glass!” Gripps piped in, his tongue and lips blue from the cotton candy.

“Yeah yeah yeah!”

“We’re good at breakin’ things!”

“We’re great at breakin’ things!”

Three of the five of the Rowdy 3 scrambled up and in the general direction of the games to see how much they could break. Amanda loosed a breath before glancing to Martin who hadn’t budged. “What about you?”

He shrugged, taking his last swig of his drink in one gulp and taking a drag from his cigarette. She pursed her lips together. He was hard to read when he got like this. Quiet. Reflective. Withdrawn.

“Do the ones with just the bars bother you? The ones that don’t fit too tightly?”

Blue eyes narrowed a little. “Whatcha got in mind, drummer girl?”

Okay. That one was safe. “C’mon,” she coaxed, standing and taking his hand so that she could make sure he followed. He did without too much of a fight, and she pulled him behind her, his hand slipping comfortably into hers.

“That one?” Martin asked as they approached the Ferris wheel, and his tone was reluctant. “It barely moves.”

“Have you ever been on one before?” She waited for him to shake his head no before digging in her pocket for the tickets she’d purchased that would cover them both. She offered it to the ticket collector and turned so she could meet Martin’s gaze. “Trust me?”

He paused, that look intense as it always was, and he drew a deep breath. “‘Kay,” he said after a long moment and followed her into the bucket.

Martin tensed a little as they fit the bar loosely down over their laps, but didn’t complain. Amanda watched him carefully as the wheel jerked into motion, sending them up at an easy pace.

“When you get to the top there’s always this amazing view of everything around,” she explained. “It's… relaxing. Like being at the top of the world and things that are bothering me seem smaller.” She risked a glance at him and he was shooting her a skeptical look and she ducked her head a little. “Okay, maybe it was stupid.”

They stopped, halfway to the top and Martin loosed a breath. “You wanting me to talk about it?” he asked after a moment and it took Amanda a beat longer to process the words.

“You don’t have to, but… you know you can, right? You don’t have to keep it all in.”

They jolted again and Martin was silent as they moved. He didn’t say anything, didn’t move, didn’t even seem to breathe until they stopped again, and Amanda blinked in question as she felt his hand over hers. “I know,” he murmured, his blue gaze sweeping the stretch of town that they could see.

“Pretty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he answered and it took a moment for her to realize that his gaze had shifted to her. She was the entire center of his focus, blue gaze holding brown and his hand covering hers. She didn’t realize she’d leaned towards him until she felt him kissing her back, his fingers closing around hers a little tighter.

It was electric, sending a buzz of excitement through her system that melted into warmth, leaving her feeling…. peaceful. Happy.

“‘Manda! Martin! Look!!” Vogel’s voice carried and they broke, Martin leaning over the side if the bucket and Amanda peered after him to see the other Rowdies showing off their prize: a giant, fluffy pink bear that looked soft enough to sleep on.

“You break ‘em good?” Martin shouted down.

“We broke ‘em all!” Gripps answered with a grin, Cross tossing up the ball he had apparently taken from the game as his own prize.

“You like it, ‘Manda?” Vogel asked.

“Hell yeah!” she laughed.

Martin turned back to her, looking more relaxed than she’d seen him since they’d broken free from Blackwing. He leaned back in the bench and Amanda felt his arm wrap around her and she folded comfortably into his embrace like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I like the ride,” he mumbled as they started again.



“Me too.”

anonymous asked:

I wanna know if I'm your type: Here I come, rougher than the rest of them. The best of them, tougher than leather. You can call me Knuckles, unlike Sonic I don't chuckle. I'd rather flex my muscles. I'm hard as nails, it ain't hard to tell. I break 'em down whether they solid or frail. Unlike the rest I'm independent from my first breath, first test. Feel the right then the worst's left.

pick me up at eight

She takes her sweet time when she gets ready
Singin’ to a hairbrush “Free Fallin’” with Petty
Walks out with her hair done, I’m like “Woo, damn!”
Keep takin’ your time lookin’ fine like only a country girl can
Oh, yeah

She gets a little wild on a Saturday night
And those pretty little eyes get wide when she sees the light
After she’s had a few she’s ready to dance
And she can shake it, break it down, get ‘em loud like only a country girl can

—  Chase Rice