Types Of Friends When A Boy Fucks You Over (PT.3: The Finale)
The Blac Chyna- Funds the money for the make-up line you have been wanting to get started so, you can focus on something positive and productive. The two of you settle on the name ‘FuqBoí’ for the brand. For being a form of inspiration she sends your ex a check. The check is made out for ‘$00.01″
The Vivica A. Fox- Verbally annihilates him using nothing but SAT words at his new girls pool party. Takes a bottle of Patrón and CÎroc from the bar and makes her exit. Comes to your house and gets you turnt with the bottles and gives you a play by play of everything that happened
The Ciara- Tells you to block his number and block him from all social media. Has her hair stylist make you a wig like hers and has you working out with her in the gym five days a week. A few weeks go by and she photographs you in a boudoir shoot and posts them to social media. Ends up getting you noticed and you get booked for a music video
The Patti LaBelle- Comes over to your place and bakes you a cake and two pies. Prepares enough food for you that could feed the whole family at the reunion. Has your ex come to your place so you can have closure, plus she has a few words for him. He gives you an apology and explains his actions. When he’s done, she catches him eyeing the food and says to him “I know your behind not thinking about fixing a plate. Ya bettah think about fixing that attitude of yours before you get bust upside the head”
The Solange- Some random person sees her beating up your ex and starts to record it. It is posted to vine and goes viral
The Keke Palmer- She never liked your ex in the first place. Lowkey wants to flatten his tires and break his arms but, focuses on you instead. Enrolls the two of you in hip-hop dance lessons
The Diana Ross- Tells you that you are far too fabulous to concern yourself with an uncultured buffoon like him. Books the two of you a trip to New York City. Has you shopping for eye catching ensembles from thrift/costume shops. Takes you to hit up the underground club scene and everyone there loves your outfits and wants to take pictures with you.Ya’ll end up trending online
The Gabrielle Union- Infiltrates your ex’s family and ends up dating his brother. Sabotages any potential relationships your ex could have. His brother goes along with it because she got him sprung
The Missy Elliott- Is a popular youtuber. Makes a dope music video about how weak your ex’s dick game was based off of what you’ve told her. Innuendos are all over the place. Choreography is fire. The song gains mainstream popularity and his mama now has it as her ringtone whenever your ex calls her
The Trina- Spams all his instagram pics with the comment “fuckboy”
The Amber Rose- Instafamous. Tells all her instagram followers not to fuck him cause he’s a bitchass. Your ex goes through a sexual drought
The Lynn Whitfield- Runs his car off the road at 9 and casually drives to her brunch meeting at 10
The Octavia Spencer- Knocks on his front door. He let’s her in, they walk into the kitchen. She tells him there are no hard feelings and gives him her “special” pie
The Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes- Will burn his house down
The Aaliyah- She runs into your ex at the Foot Locker. Tells him how she is so incredibly disappointed in his actions and that he needs to take a look at what kind of path he is taking in life because, he can’t go around hurting people that love him unconditionally. He feels so bad he starts going to church every Sunday to build a relationship with Jesus
The Lupita Nyong’o- Takes you on a trip to Spain so you can clear your mind. She’s not even worried about your ex
The Joseline Hernandez- Uses permanent spray paint to write “PENE PEQUEÑO” on the windshield of his car
The Brandy- Sends you a text telling you to stop “sittin up in your room”. Picks you up and ya’ll have a beach day. She catches the owner of the bar two of you are at on the water eyeing you and encourages him to talk to you. Takes a picture of the two of you talking and sends it to your ex from your phone
The Zendaya- Your ex contacts her first because he knows she will send him a 3000 word essay in MLA Format with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, with direct quotes and a bibliography page to go with it. She doesn’t care what he has to say and goes with her usual formula anyway
The Tamar Braxton- Bumps into him in the produce section at the grocery store. Makes the loudest cackle because she has been ready to run into your ex. Goes the hell off and he tries to tell her to calm down cause people are staring. Responds with “Whatchu mean calm down? What you worried about them for? You don’t know them! What you needed to be worried about was your relationship!” Wraps up the whole encounter with “You lucky I am a child of God”
The Pam Grier- Shoots your ex then, takes you dancing later
The Jackée Harry- Roasts your ex. I’m talking FATALITY level roasting. He ends up deleting all his social media accounts and moves out of state. Even at his funeral she’s still dogging him and even the pastor slips out a chuckle
Hey! I really liked that little lesson on goldens. I have a question though, are field goldens still taken to dog shows? Do they have their own category? I personally prefer a dog that looks more like a field golden than a show golden. Do field goldens still have a pedigree? Do breeders breed field and show golden retrievers together sometimes to get the best of both worlds out of them? If you know of a tumblr that could have a lot more information on the topic I’d really appreciate it!
Hi! It depends on the breeder, but there is usually a distinct difference in look between a field and show Golden.
This is my field line. He’s darker and trim with lots of feathers, but not a lot of fluff. Field lines do have a pedigree–hunting people are all about that pedigree, same as show people! These dogs are usually smaller and more compact, not just because they are more inclined to be athletic based on their use, but also because they need to be more portable! It’s easier to fit a 50lb-ish Golden into a canoe than it is a 100lb-ish Golden! They have more drive, but not necessarily more energy. See pawsitivelypowerful’s post on drive for more info on this distinction.
What a lovely stack, right? Well, maybe not lol, but you can still see how itty-bitty he is compared to your stereotypical Golden.
Meanwhile, here is a show line I trained. He’s lighter in color, thicker, and very fluffy! The show lines are stout and less “intense,” aka more likely to be couch potatoes. That’s not to say that they can’t be athletic–they totally can! But AKC likes a stout dog that’s yellow-gold, so that’s what a lot show lines are.
Above is the AKC standard drawing of the preferred Golden. See how much it looks like the dogs after it? Fluffy, big ol head, thick body? Pretty different from my dark, slim and feathery boy.
AKC judges prefer the show line, but fields can do well in UKC! Some breeders (and ideally all breeders, eventually) will have a Golden that “has it all” for working and conformation, but–like most breeds–that is not always the case.