I am sitting in the sun by the flowers,
and I am holding back tears.
I am telling myself to be brave,
but I am still holding back tears.
I am always the brave one, I think.
Always the strong one.
I live my life swimming in fear,
but I am brave.
I am always the hero, I think,
and grimace at the thought.
A hero isn’t any braver than anyone else,
they are just brave five minutes longer.
I tell myself five more minutes.
Five more minutes.
and another and another and another.
But now I am sitting in the sun by the flowers
and I am crying.
My five minutes are up.