Oboe: obi won
Flute: metal recorder
Piccolo: ear knife
Saxaphone: fuck phone
Barri sax: BIG low fuck phone
Bass clarinet: big squidward
French horn: bendy straw horn
Trombone: one loud motherfucker
Tuba: band dad
Baritone: smol tuba
Bassoon: needy and wants to be included??
Percussion: miles teller
IF YOU PLAY THE 2nd, 3rd, OR 4th PART OF THE MUSIC IN YOUR BAND, YOU ARE IMPORTANT. I’M COMPOSING A PIECE AND THE HARMONIES PROVIDED BY THESE PARTS LITERALLY ALMOST MADE ME CRY. DO NOT DOUBT YOUR IMPORTANCE.
Practising all day and then waking up with a split lip
Being the only girl in the section
Rowdy 12 year old boys trying to take over the trumpet section
Being totally undermined by the rest of the orchestra while knowing that you’re secretly the best you just don’t want everyone else to get jealous
Anything above a top C
Forgetting your mute
Being the only one to remember a mute
Being section leader/principal and trying (and failing) to control your section
Counting anything over 4 bars of rests and drifting off because you have a terrible attention span
People calling your baritone a tuba
People calling your instrument a different brass instrument
Not being able to use vaseline. Ever.
Having that one responsible prick in the section and not having any fun
Being that one responsible prick in the section and controlling the fun
People laughing when you say your instrument is called a cornet and asking where the ice cream is
Practising for over two hours before a rehearsal and not having enough lip left
Deciding whether or not it’s worth buying a practise mute
Wasting money on a practise mute because they don’t fucking work.