brannocks

Hey guys, here’s some shoe fitting advice from your friendly neighborhood shoe salesman, because I’m getting really tired of getting shoes for people who are going to bring them back two days later because they got them home and they didn’t fit right.

  • Sizing your foot is a starting point, not an ending point. Always, if at all possible, try on both shoes before buying them. This isn’t limited to sitting down and seeing if you can get your feet in them, it means getting up and walking around.
  • Shoe size is a measurement of your foot’s dimensions. Fit must also take comfort into account, and what feels best to you when you wear a shoe. I like shoes with a loose fit- so even though I measure as a nine-medium, I usually wear a ten wide.
  • Shoes rarely run true to size anyway. Some don’t even run consistently among the brand itself. Nike’s run small, go up a size. Converse run big, go down a size, but they also run narrow, so you may need to go up a size. Sketchers are all over the place. And so on.
  • Most people’s feet have some difference in size between them, unless you have a whole size difference you aren’t special and you aren’t weird.
  • (If you do have a whole size difference, ask the employees if they have any mismates with your sizes. It’s a long shot, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.)
  • Wash your feet before you come to the store. Wear or bring fresh socks. Wear sandals or flip flops if it’s not cold, because your salespeople don’t want to pick up a shoe that is hot and smelly after being on your feet for a minute and a half.
  • Shoes that fit right aren’t going to “stretch out” that much. If you’re depending on it “stretching out” to fit, it’s too small. Go up a size.
  • When getting shoes for kids: actually talk to the kid about how the shoe feels. Don’t just feel where their toe is and say “well that’s fine, get them and let’s go”. It’s your kid’s feet the shoe is going to be going on, if they say it’s not comfortable, ask them why. Is it snug on the sides? Find a wide, or go up a half-size. Is it rubbing against their ankle? Their heel? The top of their feet? There’s more ways a shoe doesn’t fit than just the length; stop forcing your kids to wear shoes that aren’t comfortable just because you think they’re trying to get out of shoe shopping or make your life difficult or being a brat or whatever excuse you tell yourself for being too lazy to see to your kids’ needs.
  • For that matter, let the kid talk directly with the fitting specialist instead of middle-manning. You have no idea how frustrating it is when I’m trying to instruct a kid on how to use the brannock and their parent is repeating everything I say and confusing the kid and making it harder on everyone. Use it as a chance to teach your kid how to interact with salespeople who are there to help them in stores.
  • Don’t argue with the fitting specialist about whether the brannock is correct about your size. “Well I wear a-” I don’t care, I’m going by what this little number next to your longest toe says. If you know your size, why are you even asking? Find what fits most comfortably and go with that.
  • And finally… they’re YOUR feet. YOU’RE the one who’s going to be wearing the shoes. We’re happy to help you find the right fit for you, but don’t ask US if they fit right. What do YOU think, having worn them and walked around in them?
58 Everyday Things You Never Knew Had Names
  • Petrichor: the way it smells outside after rain.
  • Purlicue: the space between the thumb and forefingers.
  • Wamble: stomach rumbling.
  • Aglet: the plastic coating on a shoelace.
  • Vagitus: the cry of a newborn baby.
  • Glabella: the space between your eyebrows.
  • Chanking: spat-out food.
  • Lunule: the white, crescent shaped part of the nail.
  • Peen: the side opposite the hammer’s striking side.
  • Tines: the prongs on a fork.
  • Souffle cup: a ketchup/condiment cup.
  • Natiform: something that resembles a butt.
  • Phosphenes: the lights you see when you close your eyes and press your hands to them.
  • Nurdle: a tiny dab of toothpaste.
  • Box tent: the table in the middle of a pizza box.
  • Cornicione: the outer part of the crust on a pizza.
  • Barm: the foam on a beer.
  • Rasceta: the lines on the inside of your wrist.
  • Overmorrow: the day after tomorrow.
  • Ferrule: the metal part at the end of a pencil.
  • Punt: the bottom of a wine bottle.
  • Keeper: the loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
  • Minimus: your little toe or finger.
  • Zarf: the cardboard sleeve on a coffee cup.
  • Rectal Tenesmus: the feeling of incomplete defecation.
  • Agraffe: the wired cage that holds the cork in a bottle of champagne.
  • Columella nasi: the space between your nostrils.
  • Lemniscate: the infinity symbol.
  • Desire path: a path created by natural means, simply because it is the “shortest or most easily navigated” way.
  • Armscye: the armhole in most clothing.
  • Dysania: the state of finding it hard to get out of the bed in the morning.
  • Collywobbles: butterflies in your stomach.
  • Nibling: the non-gender-specific term for a niece or nephew — like sibling.
  • Griffonage: unreadable handwriting.
  • Paresthesia: that “pins and needles” feeling.
  • Defenestrate: to throw out a window.
  • Muntin: the strip separating window panes.
  • Philtrum: the groove located just below the nose and above the middle of the lips.
  • Snood: the fleshy thing around the neck of a turkey.
  • Vocable: the na na nas and la la las in song lyrics that don’t have any meaning.
  • Tittle: the dot over an “i” or a “j.”
  • Morton’s toe: when your second toe is bigger than your big toe.
  • Crepuscular rays: rays of sunlight coming from a certain point in the sky. AKA what your aunt might have called “God’s rays.”
  • Snellen chart: the chart you look at when you take an eye exam.
  • Crapulence: that sick feeling you get after eating or drinking too much.
  • Obelus: the division sign (÷).
  • Ideolocator: a “you are here” sign.
  • Brannock device: the thing they use to measure your feet at the shoe store.
  • Interrobang: what it’s called when you combine a question mark with an exclamation point like this: ?!
  • Mamihlapinatapai: the look shared by two people who both hope the other will offer to do something that they both want but aren’t willing to do.
  • Phloem bundles: those long stringy things you see when peeling a banana.
  • Semantic satiation: what happens when you say a word so long it loses meaning.
  • Octothorpe: the pound (#) button on a telephone.
  • Gynecomastia: man-boobs.
  • Mondegreen: misheard song lyrics.
  • Scurryfunge: the time you run around cleaning frantically right before company comes over.
  • Aphthongs: silent letters.
  • Tmesis: when you separate a word into two for effect. Example: “I AM GOING TO ASBO-FREAKIN’-LUTELY BE THE BEST SCRABBLE PLAYER ON THE PLANET NOW!”
Cosplay: Things to Know About SHOES

As a professional working in the costuming world, I have some important things that you should know about shoes. This is aimed mostly at cosplayers, but there’s a lot of stuff about shoes people don’t know.

People’s feet come in all shapes and sizes. Shoes from a designer/company are made to fit generic feet. Your foot is not a generic foot. You may need wide, narrow, etc.

Your foot is more than just a size. Shoe sizes have been developed mostly around the size of your foot on a flat surface. I don’t know about your feet, but my feet are three-dimensional. The arch/instep area is just as, if not MORE important than the area your foot takes up on a Brannock (shoe-measurement device).

Poor-fitting shoes can cause long-term damage to your feet. Even if you only wear them for a few hours, shoes that don’t fit your feet can upset the many bones/joints/nerves/etc. in your feet. For best results, wear shoes that are broken in (meaning: you’ve not only walked in them, but you’ve sweat into them) with the correct insoles for the needs of your feet.

Breaking in shoes does more than just soften them. To really break in a shoe, especially leather ones, you need to get your sweat into the material. Leather shapes to your foot using the moisture from your body. To speed up the process, try products like shoe stretch spray and shoe stretchers. When a shoe is broken in, it is more likely to accommodate your foot correctly when walking or standing.

The right sole/insole makes all the difference. When walking long distances like people do at conventions, it is important to wear shoes that are made to be moved in. Avoid buying shoes that are intended for specific athletics that do not involve walking/running (dance shoes, wrestling boots, etc.) and shoes which put extreme pressure on the balls of your feet and toes (higher heels). Insoles are also available for heel cushion, arch support, and other orthopedic issues.

Last, but not least, consider getting shoes made for moving in. Not all costumes can accommodate a walking shoe, but if you’re going to be moving a lot in them or wearing them for a long time, the best thing you can do for your foot is try to get the best fit.

Love y’all. Stay safe. Keep your feet happy. :D

@directium: Imagine David taking Max to get his feet sized so he can get him some little baby shoes that actually fit (because the shoes he came in he’d either outgrown, or never grown into) but every time they tried to get him to stand on the brannock he screams bloody murder

He is TERRIFIED of that cheerful red-and-yellow piece of plastic and nothing will convince him he needn’t be