brandon is short

I was listening to old podcasts, when it was brought up that in the original office tour short, Brandon (the guy in the orange shirt) and the rest of the guys having a nerf war had no idea Burnie was filming the short, and thought his rage was real. They were laughing at Brandon’s hilarious, genuine reaction.

I went back to see because it sounded funny, and just…

Oh. My. God.

Boston Bruins memes
  • “Patrice Bergeron is the most perfect human being, like today he [thing that normal people do all the time].”
  • Acting like Brandon Carlo is very short. Offer to get things off of high shelves for him. 
  • Saying your practicing the shootout when you’re doing literally anything else. 
  • “What Happened to [traded player]?” “Oh Chara ate him when his time came, soon our time will come too.”
  • The TD Garden is haunted by Mike Milbury’s shoe. Any weird noise someone looks alarmed and said “the shoe’s here.” bonus points if it’s around an away player unaware of the meme.
  • Every time something inconvenient happens they say “thanks, kessel,” a la the “thanks, Obama” meme.
  • Their “pranks” are purposefully super lame, think the “you asked for two ice cubes but i only gave you one” line from spongebob. Act like it was an amazing prank and the prankee just got owned.
  • Call montreal canadiens players their boyfriends. 
  • “Backes look at this cute picture of your son” [shows backes a picture of a dog/cat].
  • The Torey Krug/Brad Marchand height war. Everybody has to pick a side.
  • “My best friend, sidney crosby…” 

Everything Before Us (2015), dir. Wesley Chan & Philip Wang

You’re trying to make love easier but you’re missing the whole point. It’s not supposed to be. It’s supposed to test you, break you down, and hurt like hell. And who you chose to go through that with, that’s what’s really important.❞


Dear white people, the minimum requirement of black friends needed to not seem racist has just been raised to two. Sorry, but your weed man Tyrone does not count.

Movies (8/???) | Dear White People (2014)