brainbent

AC: :33 < what do you mean its creepy i practiced for like an hour

TG: no

AC: :33 < it means im normal now! just like you

TG: stop

AC: :33 < youre just jealous of my normalness

TG: yeah

AC: :33 < look at me strider look at my quiet hands

AC: :33 < so normal and lovable dave

TG: leijon plz

TG: i didnt invent applied behavior analysis

TG: why must you punish me

TG: your practically best friend ever

AC: :33 < im cured dave

TG: nepeta

AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33

TG: nepeta

AC: :33 < meow?

TG: i have candy

anonymous asked:

Does Gamzee have any new recipes to share? What are some of his old favorites?

TC: Yo aNoN! sO It tUrNs oUt iF YoUr cUpBoArD ZoNe iS LoOkIn’ AlL BaRrEn aNd sHiT, yOu cAn sTiLl bE RoCkInG ThAt bItChTiTs cOoKiNg mOjO. yOu jUsT GoTtA Be gEtTiNg aLl cReAtIvE WiTh yOuR FiNe sElF.

TC: LiKe, SaY It’S BeInG SoMeThInG LiKe 3:00 AM aNd yOu gOt a wIcKeD JoNeS FoR SoMe fUcKiN’ cOoKiEs, BuT YoU DoN’t gOt nO EgGs aNd tHe mIlK GoT ItS CuRdLe oN. yOu tHiNk ‘FuCk, I’M FuCkEd!’ rIgHt? NoPe.

TC: LeMmE WhIsPeR At yOu mY BeSt fUcKiN’ sEcReT, aNoN: yOu dOnT NeEd nOnE Of tHaT ShIt. YoU GoT BaNaNaS? yOu gOt pLaIn oAtMeAl wItH ThAt qUaKeR GuY AlL lIvInG oN tHe FrOnT? yOu GoT a PaRtY mOtHeRfUcKeR!

AT:  tHAT, iS DEFINITELY NOT THE QUAKER MAN, i KNOW AND LOVE,

TC: LiKe I sAiD, mY bEsT wHeElBrOtHeR, iT’s AlL aBoUt BeInG CrEaTiVe! :oD

AT: aND TERRIFYING,

TC: HeHeHeh NaAaAw He’S jUsT aLl bEiNg LiKe, ‘’WeLcOmE tO tHe SnAcK CaRnIvAl, My BrOs” ;o)

TC: BuT aNyWaYs: AlLs YoU GoTtA Up aNd dO Is uNdReSs tHeM LiTtLe mIrAcLe fRuItS AnD MaSh'eM Up, AdD OaTmEaL, AnD StIr tHe SHIT OuT Of tHaT ShIt. If yOu gOt iT, yOu cAn eVeN Be aDdInG MoRe mIrAcLe iNgReDiEnTs tO It: ChOcOlAtE ChIpS, cInNaMoN, nUtS, dRiEd fRuItS, wHaTeVeRtHeFuCk.

TC: aFtEr tHaT JuSt bE PuTtInG SpOoNfUlS Of tHaT HeAvEnLy gLoP In lIl rOwS On a pAn aNd bAkE’eM Up aT 350. fIfTeEn mInUtEs lAtEr yOu gOt yOu sOmE CaRbLiCiOuS PoTaSsIuM-HaViNg hEaLtHy-aSs cOoKiEs tHaT AiNt TASTING hEaLtHy hEhEhEhEh. ;o)

TC: ThErE’s oThEr bAsE StUfF YoU CaN Be sWiTcHiNg uP WiTh tOo, If y'AlL GeT SiCk oF BaNaNaS. lIkE, oNcE I HaD ThIs dUsTy lIl’ cAn oF PuMpKiN PiE FiLlInG AnD I WaS ThInKiNg ‘WhY ThE FuCk nOt?’ sO I StIrReD Up sOmE Of tHaT WiTh sOmE OaTmEaL AnD SoMe cHoCoLaTe cHiPs aNd FUUUUCK tHaT sHiT wAs MoThErFuCkIn’ PhEnOmEnAl. 8oD

TC: ApPlEsAuCe wOrKs tOo. HeLl, EvEn pEaNuT BuTtEr iF ThAt’S WhErE YoUr cRaViNgS At.

TC: AlL’s I kNoW iS tHiS tRiCk SaVeD mY aSs So MaNy GoDdAmN tImEs, YoU dOn’T eVeN kNoW.

EB: that is the most horrifying thing i’ve ever seen!

TC: wHaT, mY wInDyBrO? tHe CoOkIeS oR mY qUaKeRbRo ArTiStRy?

EB: yes!

GC: S1L3NC3, 3GB3RT. >:] 1T’S B34UT1FUL.

TC: SeE nOw, ShE’s KnOwInG wHeRe It’S aT ;o)

anonymous asked:

Has any of you ever thought about becoming a parent? More importantly, is any of you a parent?

 TG: im having a baby anon

TG: and the baby is you

CG: WHAT THE FUCK, STRIDER.

TG: you didnt follow

TG:  just think it over bro

TG: let it allll

TG: sink

TG: in

CG: YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE ME A STROKE, AREN’T YOU? ORDERLY! MALE NURSE PERSON! LADY DELIVERING MAIL! YOU ARE ALL WITNESSES THAT THIS FRENCH VANILLA DWEEB IS TRYING TO MAKE ME HAVE A STROKE.

CG: ALSO, I THINK I WOULD MAKE AN EXCELLENT PARENT, AND FUCK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR MAKING FUN OF ME FOR SAYING SO.

TG: nah actually

TG: youd be a great dad

CG: …

CG: REALLY?

GG: as for me… hmm! i like kids, but id rather take them to the park and stuff them with soda and candy and them give them back to their parents XD

TG: so you’d rather be somebodys cool aunt

GG: yeah!! or maybe a babysitter or an au pair or something!

GG: getting paid to eat ice cream and watch movies with explosions in them would rock!

TG: where were you when i was six

GG: busy being only eight myself!!

GG: how about you rose? any secret longing to settle down and sprog?

TT: I have no real desire to continue the Lalonde line.

TT: I think instead I will raise triops.

GA: Triops

GA: What Are Those

TT: They’re little aquatic living fossils. Look, here’s one eating a carrot.

GA: Its Eating A Carrot

GA: While Sitting On Another Carrot

GA: Why Is That So Cute

GA: Can We Have Twenty

GA: Twenty Beautiful Alien Fossil Children

TT:  I thought you might find them appealing. Of course we can.

TT: Together we can dominate this puny realm with our vast army of weensy antediluvian horrors.

GA: Doki

GA: And Also Doki

TT: Ooh. Two dokis.

TA: ii’m wiith ll, only ii’ll 2tiick two bee2.

TA: le22 freaky 2hellfii2h 2liitheriing around two haunt my dream2, more free honey and 2pon2ored vloggiing opportwoniitiie2.

TA: but real iinfant2, fuck that noii2e.

TA: have you ever 2een 2omeone giive biirth, iit’2 completely dii2gu2tiing.

TA: you wiill never look at a bajiingo the 2ame way agaiin, oh my god.

TA: one tiime uncle boxcar2 had two 2iit wiith hiis cou2iin, 2he had two have a c-2ectiion

TA: and her hu2band wa2 siick and couldn’t come iin, and HB couldn’t thiink of an excu2e fa2t enough two get out of iit

TA: Dad 2 told me the progeny’2 head popped up out of her belly liike a jack-iin-the-box covered iin blood and whatever el2e they come out covered iin

TA: HB pa22ed out riight there on the floor, lmao.

TA: that guy ii2 the siize of a double wiide traiiler home, he priiz3 fiight2 liike other people play golf.

TA: he ha2 all the2e trophiie2 and everythiing, he ha2 offiiciially made two people pii22 themselve2 ju2t by glariing at them.

TA: and then he goe2 riight the fuck over liike a biig 2ad 2ack of briick2, bu2ted hii2 liip on the bed raiil.

TA: he got beat down by a 2qualliing neonate wiith abnormal neck mu2cle control, lol.

CG: HORRIFYING. I AM HORRIFIED. FUCK YOU FOR PUTTING THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD FOREVER.

TA: you are a2 welcome a2 ever, kk.

CG: IF I COULD DELETE THE PAST ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SECONDS FROM MY OVER-TRAUMATIZED BRAIN…. I WOULDN’T. BECAUSE I MIGHT FORGET HOW GROSS YOU ARE.

TA: <3 <3

CG: CATCH HERPES FOR REAL. ANYWAY, BACK TO SANITY, I WOULDN’T MIND BEING A PARENT EVEN IF THEY ARE GROSS. KIDS ARE SMART AND FUNNY AS HELL.

EB: hehehehe it’s funny you should say that karkat! when we played the game you ended up covered in tiny little versions of y–

CG: EGBERT.

CG:  I COULD HAVE SWORN I TOLD YOU THAT IF YOU MENTIONED YOUR STORY AROUND ME AGAIN, I WOULD PERSONALLY CONFISCATE YOUR SPINE AND FLOSS WITH IT.

TT:  Yes. Yes, you did.

GA: We Could Hear You All The Way From The Greenhouse

CG: WELL GOOD THEN! I HAVE WITNESSES.

EB: do what you must, karkat! the world deserves to know you were adorable and totally parental in an alternate timeline

CG: WELL WELL LOOK AT THE TIME, IT’S FLOSS O CLOCK!

CG:  ARE YOU READY TO SPELUNK THE UNSPEAKABLE CESSPIT BETWEEN MY MOLARS, YOU SMUG LITTLE SHITGIGGLE? I NEVER MADE A SCORE OF GROSS BUG BABIES AND NONE OF THEM EVER TOOK A DUMP IN MY HAIR THE COLOR OF ROTTEN EASTER CANDY

EB: whatever dude. it so happened.

TG: vantas

TG: please continue

CG: ANYWAY, YEAH. SURE, I’D RAISE A KID.

CG: EVEN IF I TURNED OUT TO SUCK ROYALLY AT CHILD REARING, I LITERALLY PHYSICALLY CANNOT DO ANY WORSE A JOB THAN ANY OF OUR OWN PARENTS, RIGHT? AND LOOK AT US, WE CAME OUT FINE.

GA: That Was The Most Rousing Pep Talk Of All Time I Am Genuinely Enthusiastic About My Impending Career As Assistant Aquatic Fossil Monster Motherhood

TT: I have a fresh invert trader catalogue in the greenhouse.

GA: Can I Lick The Stamp

TG: no one say anything

TG: …

TG: thank you please move along

Calliope: Say Hi To The Snarly-Hair Girl While Mum Signs Some Papers

aG: I ain’t in the mood, Amp–

aG:  Oh, it’s Kreug… uh… the kid.

aG: Callie, right?

UU: ^u^

aG: Where’s your mom and dad?  Should you 8e running around outside alone? What if some perv sn8tches you?

UU: …

aG: I have no idea what you’re saying with that gesture, is that “My parents are 8oth 8eing savaged 8y St. Lo8af’s pet tigers,” or…?

aG: Paperwork? Is that… Paperwork? Yes? They’re fillin’ out a 8uttload of forms in there, aren’t they? UGH!!!!!!!! 

UU: *giggle*

aG: So you DO make noises under that thing!

UU: u_u

aG: What are you, like, seven?

UU: ^_^

aG: 8???????? Goddamn. That’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin’ young to 8e coming here. They treat you okay?

UU: …

aG: Haha, no, I get it. Same here, sometimes good, sometimes 8ad. 8et you wish you could run for it sometimes, huh?

UU: …

aG: Me too. Like right now, all I want to do is 8low this popsicle stand. Sneak out in the middle of the night, steal 8ack my N8ghthawk if Ricky hasn’t sold it yet, and just hit that freeway. I’d 8e in North Dakota 8efore anyone even knew I was gone. 8ye 8ye, cows, hello slightly fewer cows and more mean-ass rednecks. You know? Just say screw it to this whole place and every8ody in it, the meddling doctors and jerky exes too. They can all 8ite me!

UU: *giggle*

aG: No, I’m serious! I 8et you got it easy ‘cause you’re so little. Me, they push around.

UU: u_u

aG: Well, no. That ain’t true, exactly, more like an exaggeration. Not all the time, they’re not… Look, I’m in a shitty mood, okay? I had a 8ad day. 8ut I 8et you got it worse than me. I can still run my fu– my damn mouth a8out it to 8low off steam! You gotta stop and write it all down or draw pictures.

UU: …

aG: I used to get through the 8ad days 8y going out to smoke and think a8out running away. Just going for it. That’s what would get me through. 8ut you know what they did today, kid? They took my smokes! Look, they give us this shitty gum instead. It tastes like ass. It’s supposed to help you quit. Ha!

UU: u_u

aG: Oho! School propaganda machine got to you already? 8et you drew a really kickin’ rad poster sayin’ SMOKE IS A JOKE and got it put up in the hallway.

UU: …

aG: Hell, I’m not teasing, we did 'em too. Mine had Jesus on it telling people to a8stain, for God’s sake. A8STAIN!!!!!!!! 

UU: ?

aG: It means not to do fun stuff, 8ut it’s, like… a special fancy way to say it to make people feel extra 8ad. I really liked that word when I was your age, for some dum8 reason.

aG: What a crock, though, all it did was trick me into 8laming myself for everything 8ad that happened.

UU: ?

aG: Aw, you know. Like how life isn’t fair to kids sometimes? Like, extra unfair, even, 'cause we’re girls? And you feel like you just can’t catch a 8reak?

UU: u_u

aG: Yeah, I 8et you do. You 8n’t no dummy, are you?

UU: ^u^

aG: Good!!!!!!!! 8ecause you gotta stay sharp. Sharper than every8ody. That’s how you come out on top with the chumps. Don’t fu– don’t mess that up. Don’t 8lame yourself for shit other people do, not ever! You got that?

aG: Smart girl. Gimme five.

aG: Hey, you wanna come with me, Callie? I don’t got a helmet small enough for a midget 8ut we could pro8a8ly find one. Keep that masky thing on, you won’t even get 8ugs in your teeth.

aG: We’ll 8eat up all the sucky 8oys and rednecks and send postcards 8ack here showin’ everyone what a gr8 time we’re having on the road. You and me, the Terrors of the North. You can 8e the Green Snake, I’ll 8e the 8lue Spider. Whaddya say? 

UU: ^u^

aG: Hells yes!!!!!!!!

aG: Whoops, that’s your mama calling. 8etter get 8ack there 8efore she comes lookin’ for you.

aG: Shake hands? Jeez, you’re polite for 8.

UU: nn!

aG: What? 

aG: Something on my shirt? What? What are you pointing at?

aG: OH!!!!!!!!

aG: Vriska. I’m Vriska. I live here. May8e I’ll catch you next time you come by.

UU: ^u^

aG: Okay, yeah, cool. Nice talkin’ with you, Callie. Stay in school! Don’t do drugs! 

UU: ^u^

aG: …

aG: …

aG: Nice kid.

OCD, Real Deal OCD

Not that fakey fake OCD. Fucking poseur. So OCD. It is a thing I have. As well as many, many other individuals. OCD has also entered the general population’s speech. It’s even become a very common thing to joke about being called such names as Obsessive Cleanliness Disorder. Interestingly enough the pop culture ideas on what OCD is and how it works are about as accurate as its ideas on Bipolar Disorder. Which is to say it’s hideously simplified and wrong in a large variety of ways. I can mention that I have OCD to someone and I’m likely to get some comment about me cleaning all the time.

Which is our first point. OCD isn’t a disorder marked by obsessive cleanliness. OCPD, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, matches that description much better but it’s still simplified to the point of being useless in describing the actual disorder and experiences with it. So if OCD isn’t some guy being obsessed with cleaning their hands 13 times exactly every hour on the hour then what the hell is it?

First off let’s look into that example I just gave, the washing hands 13 times exactly every hour on the hour. That’s actually something an OCD person can suffer from in particular. However it is not the fact that the person is cleaning their hands that marks it as OCD. It’s two things that mark this as an actual part of OCD; one, the obsession with the idea of cleaning their hands 13 times every hour on the hour. This comes with thoughts about doing so. Inappropriately and stubbornly. Those are called intrusive thoughts. Two, the compulsion phase. This person compulsively repeats this act. Even if they do not want to they do it. Hence obsessive compulsive disorder. The person has an obsession and compulsions that may be linked to the particular obsession.

So I could for example have a purely obsessional problem in one area. Let’s say my mind is bombarded by thoughts of sex constantly and unceasingly, but I have no compulsions related to it. I don’t have a compulsion to, say, hump my tv stand. I’m just tormented by thoughts of sex. That’s a purely obsession manifestation of OCD. But let’s say I have another obsession. An obsession related to…we’ll just say my own death. So I have frequent and recurring thoughts about my death, but to go along with these intrusive and unwanted thoughts I also have a series of compulsions. We’ll just say cutting for now. The cutting compulsion is linked to the death obsession and stems from it, but the death obsession could exist without the compulsions to do anything.

Now the compulsions typically serve a purpose for a sufferer of OCD. I have obsessions with perfection and order for example. I want everything neatly organized on my desk at all times. At least how my brain is defining neatly organized. It may actually look like a train wreck. This is frustrating to say the least since I am basically looking at my desk going “This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. THIS IS WRONG,” over and over. So in order to deal with that pain I decide to compulsively clean my desk. This becomes a sort of daily ritual. I’m sitting there moving a piece of paper to the other side of my desk and then sticking a scrap of fabric on it just like so. My compulsion has been born.

Unfortunately this doesn’t really solve the problem. I still obsess about my desk. I just happen to have an outlet for my obsession. One that isn’t alleviating the actual problem. Especially since even with all my “organizing” I still think the desk is unorganized. So what do I do? I keep organizing it. First it’s just something I do for ten minutes. Then maybe thirty. Then I am spending about three hours on this one task because my mind won’t shut up and nothing I am doing is helping it. But it feels like the only way to help and to get it to stop. I’m being caught in the cycle of obsession and compulsion and it’s just getting worse and taking up my life.

That’s what having OCD is like a lot of the time. You’re frustrated or scared of a particular set of thoughts that keep running through your mind and you can’t get them to stop. So to try and relieve them you take up these compulsive habits, but now you’re sort of spiraling out of control. You might even notice that. You might realize just how irrational your thoughts are. Cleaning your desk isn’t something you actually need to do to live, but it feels that way. Even though you know it’s not. So you get stressed and upset with yourself. But maybe you’re scared instead. Because of what this all means; you don’t have control over your life and are the slave to thoughts that won’t go away. That’s incredibly disheartening and something many people with OCD suffer from. The undying and horrible fear that they are not in control of themselves or that they could become so again.

OCD can result in many problems. Maybe you just decide to give up on living entirely and stick to sleeping all day. If you’re asleep you can’t be miserable after all! Or maybe you just give into the obsessions and then spend entire days working on your little projects. Like moving your bookcase around. For hours on end. Or maybe your intrusive thoughts are so distressing to you that you have panic attacks. Over a stitch that isn’t perfectly straight.

Which in the end is why OCD is actually a disorder and not just some silly bullshit problem to be made fun of. Because OCD actually hurts and can actually impede greatly on the sufferer’s life if they aren’t careful.

Take me for example. I have obsessions related to throwing myself off things and feel a compulsion to do so. Now I’ve had this for years. Since I was about 14. It’s persistent and annoying. It can be triggered by being on the second floor of something or while in an elevator. And it absolutely terrifies me. Because that can result in a dead me. It’s not just that though. No I’m also afraid of myself. Because what if one day I don’t have the strength to ignore the compulsion and I give in. What if I can’t keep myself under control? I’ve since gotten this under control over the years through therapy, but prior to getting to where I am now it resulted in panic attacks. Which tended to leave me a crying and trembling mess on the floor. Until I learned the ability to keep walking while I’m having a panic attack.

That didn’t always stop the vomit though!

Even now heights scare the fuck out of me because of my obsession with throwing myself off them. I’m not panicking and throwing up all over myself while my grandma drags me along swearing at me because I’m embarrassing her in public. Still my heart rate rises and I start to feel sick. I’m nearing the verge of a panic attack still, but capable of calming myself down enough to not finally spill over into absolute shit flippage.

And that’s just one way in which OCD can prove a life hindering problem. Just one. There’s many.

It can be treated though. There’s a number of therapy techniques designed to help sufferer’s live through this shit and take control of their lives again. In all stages of severity of the disorder. So even if you do completely lose control of your life there exists institutions built to help get you back on your feet.

Which leads to my final words. If you have these problems do remember that they are real problems. It’s not “bullshit” and it’s not you pretending and trying to get attention. If you honestly feel like you have a problem with this don’t be afraid to accept that and seek help. Don’t be like me and refuse to mention it and beat yourself up for it. You’re not stupid. You just need help with a problem that someone else doesn’t have. No biggie.

I actually lied on my final words. My true final words are those of thanks to luka and the rest of the crew behind the Homestuck AU Brainbent. You guys helped me accept that and the work itself has proved to have a rather therapeutic effect.

This isn't St. Lobaf's.

What I want more than anything is to have the Fucking Ugly Stuffed Bee for company when the thought of the electroconvulsive therapy they’ve been recommending haunts me at night. I’d give anything to be surrounded by the colorful kids of the Brainbent cast rather than these old, world-weary people who I couldn’t connect with if I tried. I’d love to be writing this Tumblr post from a proper computer room, instead of an iPod I had to sneak in under my bra. This place’s quiet room is nothing like St. Lobaf’s comfort room – it has no blankets or music or beanbag chair. And I haven’t been here on a Monday yet, but I’d be willing to bet that there are no pancakes, and that nobody gets a Crazycake on their birthday.
I wouldn’t have expected my stay in a psychiatric ward to be as nice as the folks at St. Lobaf’s get, but I still can’t help but wish I were there instead of here.

2

So I’ve been reading the AMAZING Homestuck AU Brainbent, and got inspired to do a group shot of all the St. Lobaf’s residents and another pic of Gamzee baking cookies. :) For those of you who haven’t read this particular AU I totally recommend it– it opens an amazing dialogue about dealing with mental illness and treatment in a beautifully mature way, and also the characters are so well done and fantastic. I’m only 1/2way through the whole archive but it’s already so great! :) 

A while back, I made my own comfort bag for conventions, since I loved Nepeta’s idea! Recently, though, I’ve been getting panicky even in the safety of my own bedroom…and so, while cleaning, I decided to make a comfort corner. Just a little “safe space” in my room for when I need to calm down!

Contents: A really fuzzy blanket (for petting), a stress ball (for squeezing), some nice scented sprays (for sniffing), some cards (for shuffling—it calms me down!), some video games (for playing and distracting myself), and a picture of me and my best friend (for reminding myself that I’m never alone).

Also, I’ll add my iPod docking station to this little spot once my room’s clean. Music’s really helpful for me.

I just thought this was kind of a neat idea, and I wanted to share it with you lovely people. :33