brain theory

THE OTHER SIDE OF EMPATHY

I have a rich fantasy life where I run a film production company. Recently I’ve been fantasising about pitching a documentary that explores the autistic community’s criticisms of Simon Baron-Cohen in a way that’s accessible for mainstream audiences.

For a host, I want an autistic person who is not famous for their neurology, ideally someone like Anthony Hopkins or Susan Boyle. People like are less likely to reinforce stereotypes, and besides, how cool (or ill-advised) would it be to get the actor who played Hannibal Lector presenting a documentary about empathy?

The host travels around England and America talking to critics and supporters of SBC’s work, specifically his assertions on the Extreme Male Brain and Theory of Mind. In voiceovers, the host will present their adventure as an attempt to learn the true meaning of empathy.

From the top of my head, critics I want to include are

-Rachel Cohen-Cottenberg

-Melanie Yergeau

-Jordynn Jack

-Karla McLaren

-Someone from a culture where eye contact is rude

-Any other autistic person willing to volunteer and are located somewhere convenient

For supporters, I want

-Tony Attwood

-Simon Baron-Cohen

This documentary needs to be something that’d be aired on primetime, or something that a psychology teacher could confidentially show a bunch of teenage students.

Executive Dysfunction

The more I find myself having to explain executive dysfunction to people the more I realise it’s near impossible. There’s a thing. I wanna do that thing, I really do. But no matter how hard I try to tell my brain to do the thing, it won’t do the thing. I can’t tell you the amount of hours I’ve spent scrolling mindlessly through social media wanting more than anything to stop, but I can’t.

This concept is so ridiculously alien to abled/neurotypical people and makes awareness/acceptance for it so hard to achieve. If an abled/nt person wants to, say, have a shower, or get some food, they just up and do it, no second thought. But the amount of mental exhaustion that goes into getting myself to get up and do one of those things can honestly be disabling in itself.

It’s not laziness, or not caring. It’s a total mental block between wanting something and doing something about it. I really wish the concept of this was more widely acknowledged. We are not lazy.

“Darkiplier VS Antisepticeye” is Mark’s Effort to Take Back Control From Dark: A Theory

(Disclaimer: I know nothing about any of Jack’s egos, so this is entirely about Mark’s. Disclaimer 2, Electric Boogaloo: I had my Frosted Mini Wheats like two hours late today, and that threw off my groove, so I’m sorry if I’m less eloquent than usual. Disclaimer III- This Time, It’s Personal: The only reason this isn’t under a read more is because someone told me to do that last time, but they weren’t very nice about it, so now I’m being petty. I’m sorry for being the worst. I still love you guys, though.)

In my last theory, we discussed the possibility that Dark is trying to take back control through more subtle means this time, and that he has a plan that we didn’t get to see during Markiplier TV. He’s been slowly giving hints of his existence in videos, teasing just enough to get people talking. He hasn’t revealed himself outright in any videos since Markiplier TV; he hasn’t denied being in them, either. 

Remember this interaction between @markiplier and @hufflepufftrax?

Mark quickly dispels rumors about Darkiplier when they’re not true. Why, then, would he not clear the air during the chaos of World’s Quietest Let’s Play 4, or any other video that has stirred up the community a great deal more than this photo ever did? The logical train of thought, then, is that these really were Dark appearances and we are supposed to know it. So, if Dark has been going about this so carefully all along, why would he reveal himself by sharing the spotlight in a comedy sketch? The short answer is that he wouldn’t. The reality is… say it with me now… it’s just Mark impersonating Dark!

Yeah, I know, no shock there. You’ve been hearing that since the video dropped. I talked about it when answering an ask, which I’m screenshotting and dropping below for your convenience, because I’m just a nice gal like that.

So now we have to ask, why would Mark do this? If Dark really is starting to take back control, this would be a dangerous time to pull a stunt like this, wouldn’t it? Well, it makes sense when you consider the fact that Mark has all but run out of options. 

Every time Dark is hinted at, the community goes wild. It doesn’t matter how subtle the hint may be- if the lights in the background of a video are red and blue, someone will point it out. Someone will draw him. Someone will get excited. And then, over time, everyone will get excited. 

Even if Mark tried to warn us, it only fueled the fire. Reaching out for help, trying to tell us that Dark is here– it is exactly what Dark wants. So Mark now has to try a different tactic. The only way that Dark can lose at this point is if he loses his allure to the viewers, and the only way to do that is to use his own method against him: Dark is pretending to be Mark, and now Mark is pretending to be Dark in order to discredit him. More specifically, he’s trying to get Dark out of the way, impersonate him, and make a fool out of him. That sounds… familiar, doesn’t it? Have we heard that somewhere before?

What if I change up the tense a little and word it a bit more like this?

“Pushed aside. Replaced. Mocked.”

Originally posted by rubies-and-oaktrees

That rings a few more bells, doesn’t it?

When we put all of these things together, a picture starts to form: Mark kept Dark at bay for years by making him a joke, but then he made the mistake of letting down his guard. Letting him back in. Now, Mark is fighting back using the only method that he has ever known to work. Why wouldn’t it this time? Making silly edits, taking over Mark’s twitter with edgy, emo poetry… it was enough to dissuade the community last time. So what could make it fail now? How could humor no longer be sufficient to drive Dark away?

The key difference this time is that Dark is not simply a wisp of a presence like he was years ago. He can’t be laughed off anymore. He is here. He is real. He is powerful. He does not like to be mocked, and this action from Mark will most definitely have consequences.

And the blame for that, really, falls on all of us. As Mark said all those years ago, we made Dark real.  Back then, he had to resort to humor to keep Dark at bay, because none of us would listen to him when he warned us. Now, history’s repeating itself,  but the outcome isn’t so sure this time. We learned nothing in the process. Now Dark has become too strong, because we, the viewers, keep letting him back in. Mark tries to tell us that Dark is here and we are thrilled about it.

So, really, the question isn’t, “Why would Mark do this?”

The question is, 

Why didn’t we listen?

considering how hard it is (and sometimes impossible) to trigger a sneeze in your sleep it just fuels the suspicion that this sly motherfucker

isn’t sleeping at all

he was probably posing all along i mean look at him who sleeps like this in front of their crush 

goddammit viktor 

Thoughts on explaining brain fog that doesn’t fit ADHD stereotypes to a psychiatrist [avoid if discussion of stimulant medication, psychiatry, or brain fog causes you distress]

I had an illuminating conversation today with a psychiatrist, trying to explain what I call my “bad brain days.”

It helped me understand where neurotypical professionals can get confused and misunderstand, when trying to help people with ADHD get unstuck.

I have days where I don’t have the energy to do anything mentally taxing, especially writing. Should I attempt to write, I just sit there expending willpower, yet nothing comes out, until I get frustrated and give up.

Now, I forget this sometimes, but getting stuck like this can come with many different internal experiences. Some people with ADHD get stuck because they feel anxious and overwhelmed. Some get stuck because they are constantly interrupted by distracting thoughts or sensory stimuli. Some just can’t get motivated.  The psychiatrist, being a thoughtful and caring person, asked if each of these different ADHD problems was what I experienced. 

I told him, they were not. Well, I have experienced each of these things, but they’re not what I mean by a bad brain day, or brain fog, or fatigue. Moreover, I can deal with them if I’m not having one of these bad brain days.

Rather than constant racing thoughts, or distracting sensations, I experience a complete mental blank. The only thing I experience (other than frustration and anxiety about being in this state) is a feeling of painless pressure inside my head, as if the space that would normally be filled with thoughts were stuffed with cotton balls. I forgot to tell him, but I move slowly, too. It takes a while to reply when people talk to me, and if I try to play a real-time video game, I get killed constantly. 

It’s as if everything–thinking, moving, and most of my emotions and conscious perception–ceased to function for no apparent reason, and I lost access to all the capabilities I normally have. Ironically, I even lose most of my capability to get distracted.

I told him what it was like to sit on the couch and will yourself to stand up and not be able to do so. As if your actions were a horse and your will were a rider and the reins had been cut, as someone on Tumblr memorably put it. To finally get back the ability to move by forcibly, with agonizing effort, moving your little finger or toe the tiniest fraction.

I told him, this isn’t distraction, this isn’t anxiety, and it’s not lack of motivation. It happens when I want to do things, they’re important and urgent, and I’m telling myself to do them with every bit of willpower I can muster. What I’m experiencing seems more like the fatigue people with certain chronic illnesses describe, only I have yet to discover any organic cause for my fatigue, and perhaps there isn’t one.

It’s like a car, I said. Suppose you have a really nice sports car and you’re a great driver, but you can’t get the car to start.

Now, suppose your sports car has brakes and steering that act up sometimes. You’re a good driver and you’re used to the car, so you can handle that. But you can’t even get to dealing with that if you can’t start the car in the first place.

And that’s where I get stuck. Yes, I struggle with time estimation, organization, and remembering to remember, but I can deal with those, so they don’t disable me as much. But all my knowledge about ADHD and coping strategies don’t work when I can’t muster the energy to move or think, much less implement those strategies. 

He tried to paraphrase, saying something like, “so it’s trouble getting started?”

Well, yes, but not entirely. It’s trouble getting started. It’s trouble continuing. It’s trouble stopping, and trouble switching. It’s trouble doing anything but playing Sudoku, looking at Pinterest, or browsing Twitter and Tumblr. Or sleeping.

That’s why I take stimulant medications and drink coffee.

He asked what happened when I took stimulants. What sort of effects did I feel like they had?

Without them, on a bad brain day, I’d be at 10-20% of my capabilities. With them, I’m up to maybe 40-50%. Not enough to write, but enough to take care of myself, even clean up around the house a bit. Enough to feel alive.

I doubt he’ll ever fully know what this feels like, but I think I was able to communicate that there’s yet another way to get stuck, besides the ones he knows well. I think he knows what he calls “activation” and I call “lack of energy” causes me more distress than any other ADHD symptom. I’m grateful that he asked, and hope he’ll be better prepared to help others who have energy problems like mine.

I KNOW EVERYONE IS EXCITED FOR THE NEW ROUTE BUT CAN I JUST POINT OUT THIS

There are FOUR empty circles in the contacts. On a messenger only the RFA can use. So it is not regular phone contacts that are empty.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS ACTUALLY MEANS OR I COULD BE OVERREACTING AND HIGH ON CHIPS

@mysplaced-pen Cat mom, do you have any input on this or am I just crazy?

all right, I made a post about the connection of the recent set photos of Pepper, Tony and Bruce with the Infinity War set photos we saw a while ago with Strange, Wong, Tony and Bruce, because of the same outfits Tony and Bruce are wearing in both scenes. Then I got paranoid, I don’t know what to think of the connection, if it’s chronological or if it’s some magic/alternate reality stuff, because I would sue Marvel if they play us like that, so I went back to those set photos and Bruce’s jacket gives me some clues:

Scene with Tony and Pepper, Bruce’s jacket is in perfect condition:

Scene with Strange, Wong and Tony:

Looks fine to begin with

then you get this, look at the sleeves 

and this

it’s torn 

I know Strange has the power to reverse a rotten apple, but logic suggests me that the scene with Strange and Wong happens after Bruce meets Pepper and Tony. 

This order makes sense for Tony’s outfit as well, in the scene with Strange and others, he’s seen holding the jacket at first, and there’s no CGI mark, which matches with how he’s seen when he’s in the scene with Pepper

then later, you see him suiting up

So my explanation is that something has happened before all this that makes Bruce all relieved and glad to find Tony with Pepper, then the two of them meet up with Strange and Wong (probably through portal) to that ruined new york set and then something else happens 

You Know What I Want?

I want to see Nora’s feelings after Pyrrha died. We got to see Jaune’s and Ruby’s but everyone keeps ignoring how Nora felt. Pyrrha was probably the first female friend Nora has ever had and they most likely talked about their feelings and their lives in general since Nora knew how Pyrrha felt about Jaune (when she dragged Ren away to win him another prize when she saw Jaune and Pyrrha alone). I want to see Nora have like a panic attack or a night terror where where she is crying and hyperventilating and either Ren or Jaune have to rush in and comfort her until she falls back asleep or calms down enough to talk.