brain puke

I’m okay !! I stayed at the hospital until 3 am and was puking my brains out and they took me Gotdamn blood but I’m good now !!!

Also They almost gave me an iv thing because I was low on potassium and I was like “pleas I will eat 1000 bananas if it means I won’t have to get that iv” and then they agreed and just gave me an oral tablet instead. But overall I’m okay !!! What a way to top of my graduation celebration lmao

I loved how his eyes followed his lips when he grinned sideways in lament; a thousand-seeming salted kisses upon our pretzel twisted bodies, the taste of him delicious, warm and spicy like tasting all the richness of a royal purple, all the sweetness of a plum in season, and his demeanor as if the climate had shaped it somewhat for how little I knew of the desert, its heat and chilly nights, the air and the dust, the shallow sun past November cold collected in corners and cobwebs and tiny cracks where lizards travel far underneath the skin of the earth

Are we changing, or are things getting more the same Am I hanging doubts to dry out of a window when it rains
Archie Andrews Imagine

‘Extraordinary Measures’

Cheerleader/Football Archie Imagine #1

Summary:  Y/n is a cheerleader on the River Vixens and has a date with her quarterback boyfriend, Archie. The only problem is Cheryl won’t end practice.

Word Count: 1603

request:  Hi~ can you please do a cute archie x cheerleader reader? 🖤

a/n: I know actually nothing about cheer (even though I have so much respect for the sport) so I did a tiny bit of research for this. Sorry if I got any cheer lingo wrong or messed something up. Let me know and I’d be happy to adjust it! // Also I wasn’t sure if the request wanted a Friday night football game kind of story so I kind of just did what I thought would be cool, but now I definitely want to write more cheerleader/football!archie stuff so be on the lookout. (Requests are open!)

 —

“Don’t mess, don’t mess,

don’t mess with the best ‘cause the best don’t mess!

Don’t fool, don’t fool,

don’t fool with the cool ‘cause the cool don’t fool!

From the east to the west

the Bulldogs are the best!

B-E-A-T beat ‘em! B-U-S-T bust ‘em!

Beat ‘em, bust ‘em, that’s our custom! Come on Bulldogs readjust ‘em!

Gooo Bulldogs!”

You along with the rest of the River Vixens were breathing heavily after running another cheer, it could practically be called panting. You were the flyer, with three equally exhausted bases under you including Betty and Veronica, finished in a liberty position with your hands in a high v. You’d been practicing for close to four hours – with no water break. Cheryl was always aggressive but this was a new high even for her.

“That was great ladies,” Cheryl yelled standing up from her spot on the bleachers. You looked down to Veronica and Betty and smiled in relief; it’d been a long day of getting yelled at by Cheryl and this seemed like progress. “Except that it wasn’t. It was actually terrible,” she walked down the bleachers toward the squad, putting an extra emphasis on ‘actually’. “My grandmother could cheer that better than you sacks-of-potatoes-with-skirts-and-ponytails that call yourselves ‘cheerleaders’. And she’s been dead since Obama’s first term.” Your face fell. You should have known. This was Cheryl Blossom we’re talking about.

The bases helped you down and you all gave each other long, knowing stares with heavy eyes. “I swear to god, I’m gonna go New York on her,” Veronica threatened. All the Vixens were thoroughly done with Cheryl for the day. Unfortunately, though, it didn’t seem that she was done with you.

She pulled out her megaphone for added drama. It’s not like she needed it. Even if her voice wasn’t extremely loud and high pitched enough to make dogs bark from a mile away, she was only standing like fifteen feet in front of you. “Why don’t we run ‘Be Aggressive’. Is that simple enough for you guys? Can your tiny little pigeon-brains handle that? And if it’s as bad as the rest of practice has been, it better be because all of you are puking your brains out or morbidly injured!”

Everyone was parched and needed a break. You decided it was worth a try. “Cheryl?” All eyes turned to you with shock and desperation. She cocked her head, egging you on and crossed her arms, waiting for you to continue.

Normally you would just deal with Cheryl and imagine something really embarrassing happening to her to make yourself feel better, but today she had put you in an especially bad mood. You we’re supposed to be going out with your boyfriend, Archie, soon but it didn’t look like she had any intention of ending practice in the near future. He was the school’s quarterback so he would be finishing up football practice any minute and you guys were supposed to be finished with rehearsal half an hour ago.

“Uh, I was wondering if maybe we could get some water?” You asked with an especially pathetic expression and your best puppy dog eyes without being obvious. She gave you a blank expression and stared at you for an uncomfortably long amount of time. Like 15 Mississippi seconds.

“You know what?” she probed, still using the unnecessary megaphone, “Yes, you girls can get water. But only because if I have to listen to you imbeciles butcher another simple cheer, I’m going to Van Gogh both my ears off, and I mean that. Be back in two minutes.”

A couple of girls ran up to you graciously but most just ran to their water to make the most of the time that was given. Two minutes in Cheryl-time was pretty different from two minutes in real-time. Just then, the football team parted ways signaling the end of practice. Some guys went to their cars but a lot stayed behind to watch the cheerleaders practice. It was kind of creepy but football normally got out after cheer so it wasn’t usually a problem.

Archie, jogged over to you with his gear still on and his helmet in his hand. He smiled at you with crinkly eyes and ran his fingers through his disheveled copper hair. “How’s my favorite River Vixen?”

You forwent an actual greeting and instead just yelled “WATER,” at him, grabbing the green bottle in his bag with the Gatorade logo on it and gulped it. It came out a little more desperate and forceful than intended but you figured he got the general ‘welcome’ message. When you finally came up for air he looked at you in awe and gave a chuckle, “Well hello to you too.”

“Sorry, it’s just Cheryl’s been crazy all practice. This is literally the first water break we’ve gotten.”

“Cheryl? Crazy? How new and different for her.” He leaned in to kiss you but you dipped out of the way.

“I promise you don’t want to kiss me Arch, I’m really sweaty.” You handed him the bottle back.

“Yeah, but I’m really sweaty too so it cancels out,” he leaned in and kissed you softly.

You smiled up at him, “Ah yes, simple algebra. How could I forget?”

The nice moment you were sharing was interrupted by the sound of nails on a chalkboard, also known as Cheryl Blossom’s voice through a megaphone, “ONE MINUTE”.

Your head whipped around back to your boyfriend. You HAD to get out of this practice, and you had an idea of how. “Archie.”

“Yeah?”

“I need you to stomp on my foot right now.”

He shook his head in confusion, “What? Why? You’re kidding, right?”

“Archie please. I don’t have time for questions. Cheryl is gonna kill me, at least if I don’t get to her first. Now just please stomp on my foot. With the cleat, she’ll check for damage.”

“You’re not kidding. Y/n! no! I’m not just going to crush your foot. Are you crazy?”

“Come on!” you pleaded with him. You looked over at Cheryl. You could tell even from this far away that she was getting increasingly impatient which meant that you were running out of time. “You don’t even have to stomp that hard! Just like, leave a mark or something, I’ll act out the rest!”

“Y/n, I’m not going to stomp on your foot.”

“Archie,” you widened your eyes at him and talked slowly and deliberately. “I swear to the lord above if you do not stomp on my foot, with cleat, right now, then I will not talk to you for a solid week. I swear.”

He opened his mouth to say something, contemplating what to do. He really didn’t want to hurt your foot but he knew that, strangely, you would be really mad at him if he didn’t.

Cheryl’s voice rang from the megaphone, “LET’S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP VIXENS!”

Archie went against his better judgment, lifting his foot about two feet off the ground and slammed it down onto your soft sneaker.

“SHIT!” You buckled over and grabbed your foot in pain, balancing yourself by holding onto Archie with your other hand.

“I’m so sorry. Are you okay? I really didn’t want to –”

“It’s fine, Arch. That was perfect. But I will need you to carry me over to Cheryl. She’ll want to see this.”

He put the rest of his equipment in his bag and lifted you up bridal style and headed towards the cheer squad. “Cheryl’s going to kill me right?” “Probably.”

She had her back turned to you as she was yelling at a freshman about how her hair looked unprofessional. “Cheryl?” You called out to her. She whipped around and her jaw dropped.

“What did you do to my flyer Andrews?!”

He cautiously answered her, “I’m really sorry, I just accidentally stepped on her foot with my cleat…”

“Which foot?!” Her eyes were wide with rage. You lifted your leg to indicate. She walked swiftly over to you and roughly pulled off your sneaker, making you wince a bit in pain. Sure enough, Archie’s cleats had left their mark. Your foot was red and it was obvious you couldn’t do anymore flying today. She threw the shoe into your hand that wasn’t wrapped around Archie’s neck. “Next time keep your big clown feet to yourself Boo Boo the fool.” She turned and walked towards her place in the bleachers. “Get out of my sight Y/n and put some ice on the foot. It better be healed by next practice,” she warned over her shoulder.

You looked at Archie, “I think… we’re free to go.” You looked back at the squad and saw Betty and Veronica getting into formation to run something. Betty reached her arm out dramatically towards the two of you and you could see Veronica mouth the words ‘Take us with you’. You reached back mirroring Betty’s motion as Archie turned away and walked towards his car.

“At least now we can make our dinner reservation. I got us a table at this great place called Pop’s. You probably haven’t heard of it, it’s pretty underground.” Archie quipped.

“Oh yeah? Sounds cute. I really will need some ice when we get there though. You know you actually stepped on me pretty bad,” you said to him, knowing how it would make him react.

“Are you kidding me? You forced me to do it! You threatened me!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding relax. I will need some ice though.”

“What are you? Some kind of masochist?”

“Mr. Grey will see you now.”

lysis

There was a man who held a power too great to tame or control.

He shunned the world. The world shunned him.

(Who knows who turned away first.)

Another man who held the same power forced his way. He was strong, assured, experienced. He became a beacon of hope and light, and offered his guiding hand. An alternative.

(A haven.)

He was safe. The world was safe, from him.

He was “normal.” He was no longer dangerous, and could even be proud of his ability, as long as he did what the president said. As long as he had his charm.

People stayed away. He kept them away. He kept his distance as a near physical separation slotted between.

(A physical shield. A bubble, an enclosed space. He never left. It never left his grip. A tiny world where everything was fine and good.)

It wasn’t lonely.

(He was safe. Everyone was safe.)

A boy came along. Small, quiet, plain - nothing like the president. He was more like him, he thought, and felt pity for the boy.

The boy tore the umbrella from his grasp.

Briefly, the world shattered. It shattered and everything was wrong and dangerous and unstable, he couldn’t find a balance and everything he felt sharpened too much, too fast -

He got his safety back. It wasn’t nice to do that, he told the boy, because he had to be understanding. The boy was only a child.

(He was not afraid.)

The boy stared, his eyes holding the immeasurable depth of black holes, empty but all-encompassing. He lifted his hand, and the man tightened his grip on his charm.

The boy did not reach for it. Instead, he splayed his hands palm up, eyes directed upwards -

There is no rain.

-

The umbrella was left in the wreckage, torn and broken by the hands that gifted it.

-

The conflict ended with Kageyama Shigeo the victor. A close call, but a victory nonetheless, as Claw had dispersed with their leader having given himself up to the police.

I never saw you as anything beyond a useful tool,” Suzuki said as he was taken away. “You don’t need to feel guilty.

-

Katsuya looks down at his suit, from the smoothed fabric of his jacket to the ironed white button-up beneath. He can hear the lilting quality of Reigen’s voice accompanied by the quiet monotone of Kageyama’s, and mingled tones of others he just barely recognizes.

He takes a breath, and reaches for the door.

There wasn’t enough room for everyone under that umbrella, anyway.

Capable (Chapter 3)

                                   Chapter 1               Chapter 2

Originally posted by natpekis

Bucky Barnes x mutant!Reader

Summary: You were kidnapped by Hydra 10 years ago but now you’re free. You find yourself at the Avengers Tower while you recover and readjust to real life.

Warnings: language (moderate), angst, PTSD

A/N: If you can or have time, feedback is always wonderful. If you don’t want to be tagged in future fics please just let me know, promise I won’t be offended. Or if you do want be tagged and you’re not you can tell me that too! Hope everyone enjoys the new chapter! ALSO, I have officially opened requests!




“What. The. Fuck. Steve.” Bucky said in time with his fists as they expertly hit the punching bag in front of him. 

“She’s not ready, Steve. I want her to stay and be a part of this too but she’s just not fucking ready. I don’t understand why Tony doesn’t see that.” He had stopped hitting the punching bag and sat down on the bench in the gym. He was rubbing his face in exasperation hoping his friend would feel the same way he did about the situation. He had felt a connection from you since the beginning and he knew you felt it too but he also knew that you didn’t know why there was a connection. He wanted to tell you about his experiences with Hydra. He wanted to talk to you about it more than anything because finally he had met someone who would truly understand his situation that no one else could. He worried about doing so though because you seemed to be adjusting so well to every day life, he wasn’t sure if it was because you didn’t remember what happened or if you just weren’t being honest with yourself but he didn’t want upset you either way.

Steve sat down next to him and patted him on the back. “Maybe she’s more ready thank you think Buck. Maybe this is what she needs to get back on her feet.” He understood Bucky’s hesitation about you jumping head first into training and the Avengers. I mean after all, they still didn’t know exactly what you had been through while Hydra had you in their custody, you had been rather tight lipped on the matter, which Steve couldn’t be too upset about since he still didn’t know exactly everything Bucky had done either. Somethings were just better left not talked about but he felt they should really get at least an idea of what Hydra had made you do but he was hoping that he would get to know what you were capable of once you started your training.

The last few weeks of your recovery had gone by in the blink of an eye. You were so excited to finally be moved into a real room with a real bed and bathroom, to see the common rooms and most of all to get back into the gym. Natasha was going to take you shopping at some point so you could get some more clothes. Tony had asked her and Pepper to go purchase you some clothes to get you started but they were mostly basics like underwear, workout clothes, jeans and t-shirts. Right now you were getting ready to go start your first day of training with Natasha. Natasha was going to work with you on combat training and eventually you would work with Wanda on training and enhancing your powers. Once you had finally picked out a pair of shorts and a sports bra you headed over to the gym.

“Hey hot stuff,” Natasha sauntered over towards you from the locker rooms of the gym with a cocky grin plastered on her face.

“Shut up Nat, I know you’re the one who bought these fucking shorts. Seriously, do they not make clothes for adults anymore or something, these things are so tiny.” You tugged at the hem of the shorts trying to somehow magically make them longer. She laughed and dragged you by the arm over the treadmill. 

The two of you jogged for about 30 minutes then did weights and other basic workouts, just to get warmed up. The real test of your training was about to start as you stepped on to the sparring mat. Steve and Bucky had entered the gym not long after you and Nat. They noticed you guys getting ready to spar and slowed down their work out in order to direct some of their attention to the two of you as you got into your stances to start sparring. You and Nat started fighting, throwing punches and kicks in time with each other but what happened next, even you weren’t expecting.

In one swift move, Natasha’s legs were around your neck as she pulled you to the ground and pinned you. You gasped as your vision went black and suddenly you weren’t in the gym anymore. You were on a hot roof and the fighting was very real and the punches hurt. You were fighting a man who you had been following for sometime now at the order of Hydra. You had been ordered to kill him and you had just been waiting for the right opportunity but you had been made by the target. You had gotten distracted by some nearby warfare and your powers glitched making you visible and he spotted you then chased you onto the roof where you were now fighting for your life.

Bucky had heard you gasp and saw you collapse despite Nat’s loose grip on your neck and ran over to rip Natasha off you. He picked you up by your shoulders and was gently shaking you trying to get you back to reality as your body went limp and your eyes rolled half way into the back of your skull. You started to scream and grab at the air in front of you, just trying to get ahold of anything so you could feel more grounded, you ended up with handfuls of Bucky’s shirt as you started to cling to him, desperate to end this horrible nightmare that seemed to keep you chained inside your mind.

After a few more moments of horror, you finally came to. Tears streaming down your face, you looked around Nat looked terrified, probably worried that she had hurt you, Steve had run to get you water for when you came to and Bucky had really concerned look on his face. You wanted to tell them you were okay but when you went to open your mouth you started to gag, you shot up and ran to the trash can in the corner of the room as you proceed to throw up what felt like everything you had eaten in the past week. Bucky walked over to you and started to rub your back in an effort to console you. 

“I’m so sorry guys, I don’t know what happened.” You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, looking at Nat. The look on her face had gone from scared to relieved once you stopped puking your brains out.

“You don’t have to apologize Y/N, it seems like you had a PTSD flashback. It’s not surprising after everything you’ve been through.” Steve held out a water bottle for you and put a cold towel around your neck.

“I used to get them a lot when I first came back. To be honest with you, they don’t really get easier but eventually you’ll at least you’ll be able to tell when they are going to happen and prepare yourself.” Bucky pulled you into a hug, while still rubbing your back. You had really scared him, but he was glad he and Steve had been there when it happened so that they could help you understand and get through it. After all the sleepless nights and scary out of body experiences he had gone through with the help of Steve, they were basically experts at dealing with it now.

“Came back from where?” You glanced up at him quizzically.

“No where, we’ll talk about it later.” Bucky released you from his embrace. “Right now though we should get you to Bruce so he can make sure you didn’t get hurt when you fell.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the gym towards Bruce’s office in the hospital wing.

“Wait Bucky, please no. I don’t want to go back in there, it’s so depressing and I just got out of there, I can’t go back. Please, I feel fine.” You pulled back and planted your feet firmly in the middle of the hallway.

“Y/N please, I want to make sure you’re not injured” He pleaded with you hoping to change your mind.

“No Bucky, I’m fine. Can we please just go some where and talk about whatever the hell it was that you brought up back in the gym?” You gently pulled on his hand again, giving him a puppy dog look. He sighed and gave up on getting you into the hospital wing.

“Ok fine, we can talk but just know it might not be a conversation you want to have.” He started guiding you back towards the rooms where he brought you into his and sat you down.

“I’m a big girl Bucky, I can handle whatever it is.” You huffed at him, just wanting a straight forward answer for once.

He explained to you that he had been the Winter Soldier. He told you all about his experience with Hydra, how they had kept him frozen for years, tortured him, erased his memories and tried to get him to kill his best friend. By the time he was done, you couldn’t even hear him talking because the sound of your heart trying to beat it’s way out of your chest was overwhelming. Everything he said, everything he had experienced, the electroshock treatments, they memory erasing, the forced killings, all of it was exactly what Hydra had done with you but you never thought in a million years that there could possibly be someone out there who shared your experience. You sat next to him hyperventilating as you let everything he told you sink in. You felt him put his arms around you again and pull you into another embrace, that was all it took to break you. You started sobbing into his chest as you clung to him. 

“Did they do the same things to you Y/N?” Bucky tried to ask gently, hoping that even though you were sobbing you would at least answer yes or no questions. You nodded your head, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Y/N, did you kill people?” He pulled you away and looked you in the eye. You nodded furiously, still sobbing violently. He gave you an empathetic sigh and nod and pulled you back in for another hug. “I’m not going to ask your for details now but I need you to promise me that eventually you’ll tell me everything.” You nodded again as you gave him a small squeeze.

“I promise.” This time you were the one to pull away. You gave him a small smile, trying to be reassuring which he returned. You now had an explanation as to why you had felt close to him from the moment you met and it changed everything. Your time at Hydra was something you never thought you would be able to be fully honest about but now here he was, just as exposed and broken as you and it was such a relief. You’ve never felt so close to anyone in your life.





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I’m late to Attack on Titan; I have a baby and the show was on my back burner forever because it didn’t appeal to me (and morbidly it still doesn’t, I watch out of a mix of spite and outsider intrigue primarily but I am way invested and I hate myself for it lol) so obviously I am utterly devastated I am also late to all the drama. That entire General Dot Pixis thing? It is all so interesting!  

In case you didn’t know AoT creator Hajime Isayama bases his series in a highly militarized world and for the character of Dot Pixis a big-wig general he modeled the bald mustached man after a real life Imperial Japanese general named Yoshifuru Akiyama  - which created an extreme uproar online among fans in Asia. 

North Americans and Europeans are likely to be aware that the Japanese have a history of not owning up to their war crimes by hiding under a blanket of willful ignorance. Japanese text books leave out Japanese war crimes; Japanese war crimes are thus not often acknowledged or even known by a bulk of the Japanese public; the Japanese government does not want other countries to bring up or acknowledge past crimes and gets really pissy when they do; The Japanese government has yet to release a formal apology for crimes committed during any wars the Japanese have partaken in that the people of surrounding countries have accepted; Japan is not the popular kid in Asia. 

Lets step back so as to get a bigger view of how real and problematic this issue truly is. 

I’m gonna talk about a guy real quick, a Japanese colonel - not Akiyama Yoshifuru, we’ll get back to him later - but a dude from World War II named Tsuji Masanobu.

This guy was a sick, gross, sadistic, misogynistic, dickcheese. If you can think of a WWII Japanese war crime he was probably behind the scenes of it. Massacres in Singapore; The Bataan death march; the Manila massacre; Guadalcanal’s last bloody stand and the suicide fox holes; the kill all prisoners initiative. The icing on the cake is that this motherfucker was documented by his own press corps to have eaten the liver of an allied fighter pilot. Tsuji Masanobu cannibalized and allowed the cannibalization of allied prisoners under his steward. Wow, he was probably executed or died in prison right?

Nope!

By 1952 Tsuji Masanobu was elected by the people of Ishikawa prefecture to serve in the house of representatives AND had two national best selling books. Only seven years after Japanese surrender and a war criminal as heinous as Tsuji Masanobu is directly helping shape the new political landscape of the Asian-Pacific.

Now pretend you’re the rest of Asia, hell pretend you are Singapore. You’re lookin’ over at this new democracy taking shape and - wait! - who is that staring back at you? Tsuji fuckin’ Masanobu. ‘Cause a bunch of people voted for him. And he remained in Japanese politics into the 1960s.  

Super fucked up, right?

That is why foreign relations between Japan and it’s neighbors is massively shitty because pathological brutal pigjizz who organized and executed massacres, encouraged suicide, personally beat prisoners, and ate other human beings get statues in their home towns dedicated to them. 

But don’t get on your high horse America and Europe - oh no. Stay firmly planted on the ground because the milieu of willful forgetting and the rehabilitation of war criminals in the Japanese public consciousness, going from war criminals to openly being regarded as victims, was encouraged by allied forces.  

Why? Well, it is actually really simple as most super horrible things are:

The immense suffering, loss of life, and horrible acts of atrocious inhumane brutality perpetrated against China and Korea during WWII was purposefully swept under the rug because they were “going Communist”. An invisible hand (wink-wink nudge-nudge) directed Allied attention almost exclusively towards the holocaust. The European Theater was intentionally made the focus of victory and bravery and the location of the greatest of all war crimes because treating (potential) communist as people was not, evidently, an option. The proof of the degree of discouragement pushed by ally forces is in how this is possibly the first time you’ve even heard of Tsuji Masanobu - and yet not. You probably do kind of know him in an albeit fucked up way in of itself.

Most European and North American folks are probably aware of that super racist Japanese caricature, you know the one; glasses, bald, buck teeth, big ears? That is Tsuji Masanobu. Wellll, he was one of the basis for the image of anti-Japanese allied propaganda anyway. Sure the officers Tsuji Masanobu had constantly chastised for being not brutal enough, soft, and ineffective were executed for their crimes by the allied trials but Masanobu, literally the face effective in fueling and demonizing an entire people so as to motivate ally soldiers, was pardoned and allowed to run for political office in an ally influenced election. So guess who isn’t that popular with the rest of Asia either?

Right. So, now that the wound is sore lets go back to Yoshifuru Akiyama. 

Yoshifuru Akiyama was a Japanese general during the first Sino-Japanese war, a war fought between China and Japan over who controlled Korea. He is the older brother of general Saneyuki Akiyama who was the massive strategic force behind the battle of Port Arthur and by extension the Port Arthur Massacre during the first Sino-Japanese War. Yoshifuru and his Calvary were instrumental in capturing the port. 

It is not relevant that Yoshifuru Akiyama did not have a direct hand in War Crimes other than being on the side of an invading force; among neighboring countries and Attack on Titian fans the war Yoshifuru served in continues to be a reminder of a difficult and oppressive time period in history. A lot of the anger bubbling up from learning about how a brash, strategic, and honorable character like Dot Pixis is “based on” a real general doesn’t necessarily stem from (just) the actions of Yoshifuru and his role in shared war and history - but rather from the perspective of if Dot Pixis is taken from Yoshifuru then who are the titians? 

It isn’t surprising that the titans are up for grabs for what it is they represent since they’ve yet to be given a solid metaphorical attachment, and it isn’t surprising that some people take offense at what they perceive them to be. 

Feels Like Home

(gif credit to the creator)

Part 6 - New Relationships

Master List

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 849
Warnings: language
A/N: I am so so so so so sorry it’s taken me so long to getting around to this. Hope you guys enjoy it! Anyway, feedback is cool :)

Keep reading

Beer For Breakfast (Dogfish Head)

Brewery : Dogfish Head
Beer : Beer For Breakfast
Style : Milk Stout / Sweet Stout / Stout
Variance : Brewed with Guatemalan Antigua Cold Press Coffee, Maple Syrup Harvested From Western Massachusetts, Rapa Scrapple, Brown Sugar, Molasses, Roasted Chicory, and Milk Sugar

10 / 10

Dogfish Head, just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and completely redeem yourself! By being dumb of course I am referring to you retiring one of my favorite stouts ever made (Chicory Stout) but you really managed to fill that void in my heart with this beer. This beer’s ingredients list is one of the longest I’ve seen with only the IMDB page for Mel Blanc rivaling it but all of those additions join together like the fucking Megazord to fight the evils of bland beer. Now to address the elephant in the room, scrapple. For those of you who are actually civilized and don’t know what scrapple is, be glad. This is mainly a Delaware and Pennsylvania breakfast meat that is basically made up of pig’s assholes, snouts, ears, and every other disgusting shitty pig part and even though I never tried it and never will, it certainly belongs in this brew. This has an amazing cinnamon coffee roast sweetness that is hard to even describe because it’s so good before some smooth chocolate and maple flavors mix in with even more sweetness before ending with a mix of bitterness and sweetness and some slight smoke to close. The worst part of this beer is that it isn’t on Dogfish Head’s 2017 release calendar so I guess we are back to the Dumb & Dumber quote again. Why would you do this to me Dogfish Head?! Just when I thought everything was all better again and I was finally over my first love, you rip my heart out and take a crap on it by not bringing this back for next year. Anyways, this beer is fucking amazing and if you get a chance to taste this you NEED to take it because this is not one to be missed. If you are new to the stout scene you definitely need to taste this because not only does this deliver on flavor, it also is sessionable enough to kick 5 back and then realize it clocks in at 7.4% ABV and then puke your brains out. As far as you bastards, this better be in your fridge because it kicks so much ass so grab this flannel sporting pig as fast as you can and drink it down!

Written by: Steve B.

Blueberry Oatmeal Stout (Buffalo Bill’s)

Brewery : Buffalo Bill’s
Beer : Blueberry Oatmeal Stout
Style : Oatmeal Stout / Sweet Stout / Stout
Variance : Brewed with Blueberries and Natural Flavors

8.5 / 10

Holy chocolate covered blueberries of goodness! This beer is freaking awesome and I really wish I had another bottle because this is the perfect dessert. I love the fact that Buffalo Bill’s instantly reminds me of Buffalo Bill’s casino right outside of Vegas because A) The Desperado is a bad-ass rollercoaster and B) Who doesn’t love a western themed casino? No one, that’s who! I’ve really been in the mood for a super flavorful stout lately due to the abundance of IPAs I had in my fridge and this beer hit the spot perfectly and for that, I thank you Buffalo Bill. This has an amazing authentic blueberry flavor to start with some gooey chocolate joining in quickly after before some slight roast smoke flavors mix in adding more to the flavor before ending with more of that chocolate covered blueberry goodness. If you are looking for a great way to spoil yourself after dinner, pick this beer up and drink it down because it doesn’t get much better than this when it comes to sweet stouts. If you are a first timer or a craft lifer, this is is a must drink so make sure you you snag a bottle and while you’re at it, head over to that casino and puke your brains out on the rides!

Written by: Steve B.

Alcohol just does not sit well with me anymore. I get the spins after just one shot and two light beers, and then feel like I’m going to puke my brains out in the morning. Not a fun feeling. No more drinking for me for a loooong time.

jonathankents-deactivated201609  asked:

Oo I love trish so much tbh! Do u have some sorta backstory for her, or a drawing that u made but didn't post ? I just love her design and her personality

ahh so happy you like her! Trish actually belongs to my friend @goblinqueenbluebie​ she uses her more to RP then drawing her, but I draw her all the time people always think shes mine. I always have fun drawing her vintage styled hair * O  *  Here’s a new drawing of her no one understands why she likes this trashy idiot lol?? he gross
 some where in the universe Ruca is puking her brains out

I swear, you can take any random word and add “fic” to it and it will be a really gross weird creepy smut fanfiction

Little Catholic Sayings™: you haven’t repented for your sins until you’ve spent a night puking your brains out after downing three bottles of wine

True story

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about how ignorant men are to the symptoms of periods and I just thought I’d share this story.
Sophomore year, a few weeks before finals, I was experiencing some pretty awful period symptoms (mainly bachaches that feel like someone is crushing your spine, but also a merciless headache and constant nausea) and of course I was carrying ibuprofen with me. Every girl does. Literally all girls who are in their period probably have a bottle of ibuprofen or pamprin or something.
Well, at the end of the day I really couldn’t take the pain any longer and decided to take another dose. That did not fly well with the teacher. Now I feel like I was on pretty good terms with this teacher, but she could get kind of crazy with the rules and decided that I was “in possession of drugs”. I was, that’s true, but I guarantee a quarter of the girls in that class were.
So I get sent to the office. Of course. And it’s apparently a very serious matter. They call my dad (who does some dangerous work and does not like being called, but the administrators weren’t going to listen to me telling them that). I shit you not, the administrator tells my dad I was dealing drugs. I can hear my dad laugh, and the phone is given to me. “Were you dealing drugs?” He asked. I told him I was on my period and going through excruciating pain.
PAUSE: At this point I had not yet taken another dose, so I was physically shaking. I was also pale. Anyone should have been able to see that something was wrong. Alright let’s continue.
My dad, being a guy who never experienced the wonders of menstruation, said, “can’t you just wait until you get home?” Now, for you male readers, imagine someone kicking your balls and telling you that you can’t take a pain killer until you get home. That’s what this was. “No dad, I really can’t wait.”
Well, my dad had it clarified for the idiots that run the school that no, I was not dealing drugs, and yes, I needed to take the medicine. That did not fly with the administrators. They took the bottle from me, “inspected it” to make sure it was actually ibuprofen, and began to write me up.
“I don’t understand why I’m bring written up. It’s an over-the-counter drug, anyone can buy it, and I wasn’t doing anything wrong.” Their justification was that I was probably giving it to others, and what if someone were alergic? “Two days ago I had a packet of trail mix and shared it with my friends. People are alergic to nuts. I didn’t get in trouble for that. What’s the issue here?” I know they were still drugs but again, EVERY GIRL ON HER PERIOD WILL BE IN POSSESSION OF A PAIN KILLER.
Anyways, while they were finishing the write up, one of the noodle brains finally asked why I had it. I told them my back and head really hurt. They responded, shouldn’t I have gone home then? I told them that it was not necessary to miss school every month.
I could see their gears turning as they finally understood. They told me (I’m not kidding) that if it was a “lady problem”, then it first of all isn’t bad enough to need medicine and second of all I should have visited the school nurse. “The nurse that’s only here between 10 and noon? On wednesdays?” (Why the hell did we even have a nurse if she was only there two hours a week?) They asked if that was a problem. I was insanely mad. Yes, it’s obviously a problem. You think I can control what time the symptoms occur? No. But I do have a LEGAL method of stopping the pain, but you want to take it away from me on invalid grounds because you think I’m the only one dealing with it like this? Seriously? You’d rather have me miss class than just let me take a god damn pill?
While they were finishing up, I asked to go to the restroom. “Why?” They asked. I literally responded to them, “To vomit. Which I wouldn’t have needed to do if you would let me take my medicine instead of forcing me to sit in here for an hour.” I left, puked my brains out, and returned to be handed a photo copy of an official report of possession of drugs on school campus.
May I top this off by saying I was first in the class, and the admins didn’t even know my name?