brain programming

Fun fact- traumatic experiences often cause the hippocampus to shrink, which also leads to memory issues and explains “repressed” memories. people with ptsd have to process their trauma in order for the hippocampus to regain its size, so anyway don’t let ppl brush off your reactions to trauma bc it’s not only psychological but also physiologically significant as well and affects your brain function

The importance of failure

Dealing with failure is a skill set. Like all skill sets, it requires practice to get good at it. If you never really fuck something up, you don’t get the practice.

I’m in medical school. This is one of the most high-pressure environments out there. It is specifically designed to repeatedly make you feel like you’ve fucked everything up. If I hadn’t had experience with specifically academic failure starting in college, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it now.

I was the kind of student who made it through high school without really having to study. Then in college I walked right into the brick wall of Honors Chemistry. My test scores went like this: 45%, 33%, and I calculated my potential score on the final while I was taking it based on getting every single question I had written down an answer for right, and I couldn’t have gotten better than a 35%. I started planning my English major during that test. I left, got high, and spent the night throwing up. (I got high mixing Bad Drugs to mix.)

That was one of the worst days of my life. But I got through it (badly!) and I learned, and I failed at many more things in many ways, and I ended up in medical school anyway.

The term for when your brain convinces you that THIS particular fuck-up is the End Of All Things is catastrophization. It’s a cognitive distortion. Very few things in life are actual catastrophes, but our brains are programmed by billions of years of evolution to look for catastrophes and worry about them. So we trip the trigger way early on it.

Recognizing that our brains aren’t always RIGHT was helpful for me. I don’t know if it’s helpful for you, but as someone who spent many years studying people, behavior, and brains, let me assure you: if you imagine your brain as a belligerent drunk weirdo driving a really expensive car, you’re not far off.

So practice failure. When your brain tells you you’re an idiot, gently remind it that your brain thinks eating an entire bag of marshmallows at once is a good idea and maybe it doesn’t get to be the judge of you.

Then eat the bag of marshmallows anyway because if you’re going to feel like shit might as well earn it.

A sharp memory doesn’t make you smart. Our brains are actively trying to forget things.

  • It might be good to forget some things.
  • A recent study from Canada shows that our brains are typically trying to forget. It suggests that the “goal” of our memory is to dump extraneous details and hold onto the important ones — meaning that we don’t want to remember everything.
  • “If you’re trying to navigate the world and your brain is constantly bringing up multiple conflicting memories, that makes it harder for you to make an informed decision,” Blake Richards, an associate fellow with the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research’s Learning in Machines and Brains Program, said in a release. Read more (6/21/17)

follow @the-future-now

for real there’s nothing worse than seeing actual teenagers trot out the “your brain isn’t fully developed until you’re 25!” bullshit. that is a view of brain development that falls somewhere in the spectrum between “way oversimplified” and “just plain wrong”. it gets pushed and repeated because it helps prop up social norms that include robbing young people of autonomy and consent, regulating them out of the public sphere, and silencing their voices on important issues. and my heart just breaks to see teens internalizing this narrative of “you’re inherently stupid and untrustworthy because your brain is programmed to be shitty for another 10 years”. it’s like some kind of mass stockholm syndrome. young people please love yourselves and realize you do not have to wait until your mid-20s to be a whole and real person with the right to be taken seriously.

  • me: I'm aware that my robot/human otp is nothing more than a crack ship. I accept this new woman character with open arms. I am willing to consider polyamory between my otp + this new English lady.
Most criticisms of television have to do with the television program content. People say if there is less violence on television or less sexism on television, or less this or less that, television would be better. If there were more programs about this or more programs about that, then we’d have “good television”.
My own feeling is that that is true – that it’s very important to improve the program content – but that television has effects, very important effects, aside from the content, and they may be more important. They organize society in a certain way. They give power to a very small number of people to speak into the brains of everyone else in the system night after night after night with images that make people turn out in a certain kind of way. It affects the psychology of people who watch. It increases the passivity of people who watch. It changes family relationships. It changes understandings of nature. It flattens perception so that information, which you need a fair amount of complexity to understand it as you would get from reading, this information is flattened down to a very reduced form on television. And the medium has inherent qualities which cause it to be that way.
—  Book summary of Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television

Mirror Mantra

I stood in front of the mirror thinking, last time I wanted him to think I was pretty. Tonight, I want him to know I’m easy.

I exist to please. I exist to serve. I love to please. I love to serve.

I’d forgotten I owned this skirt. I was pretty sure when I bent over, men could tell what color my underwear was. And until a couple months ago, I thought I didn’t want that. So I’d tucked it away.

But tonight, here it is, stretched around the curve of my bottom and barely reaching mid thigh. And sure enough, when I lifted the hem - my burgundy silk. My favorites, the ones I wanted Him to see. To peel off me.

I exist to please. I exist to serve. I love to please. I love to serve.

Along with the highest heels I owned, that made me stand awkwardly tall and a little unbalanced… So I concentrated all my thoughts on walking and standing and very little on, like, talking about smart stuff… Which men don’t want to hear anyway…

I deserved a break. A break from thinking so much, from knowing so much. It was exhausting being the smartest woman at the office. But He… He could fix that…

I exist to please. I exist to serve. I love to please. I love to serve.

My hair was fluffed, and - I couldn’t help thinking of it - pullable. And the makeup - oh, the makeup! I’d never worn so much. The eyes, the cheeks, the lips so ruby red, the dusting of sparkles, everything said “I’m dumb” and “I’m easy” and “take me”… At least I hoped it did… I was a painted hussy…

I exist to please. I exist to serve. I love to please. I love to serve.

Finally ready, I lay down on the bed, propped up on pillows. I hiked up my short skirt and opened my laptop. I dove into the spiral Master had sent me, chanting. I gazed into the heart of the spiral and lost myself again, my mouth moving, my ears hearing the words as if from a faraway place, my brain taking in my programming as words directly from Master’s lips… which they were.

I exist to please. I exist to serve. I love to please. I love to serve.

After 15 minutes, I would allow myself to push my panties aside and stroke my dripping slit, to deepen my programming. After 30 minutes, I knew the spiral would be embedded in my vision, and I knew I could totter on my heels back to the mirror and watch myself. To see the spiral and my blank eyes at the same time. To edge, and moan my mantra, and watch myself melt my brain and my will. To mold myself for Him.

I exist to please. I exist to serve. I love to please. I love to serve.

Maybe tonight would be the night Master would come to collect me. Maybe not. It didn’t matter. The readiness was all.


I wrote this a while ago when I was blogging under a different name. Thought I’d bring it back and share it with y'all here. Enjoy!

anonymous asked:

To Rylan, could you pleass explain how gender dysphoria works? Why does it happen?

This short question is a mighty complicated one! Gender dysphoria is a very broad term, meaning distress related to gender. People use this same term to refer to very different experiences. Someone might have distress around their physical appearance, which we might call body dysphoria, while another person might be totally satisfied with their body but experience distress related to how people perceive their gender, relate to them, or what expectations others hold of them based on their perceived gender. We might call the later social dysphoria. These are just two examples of ways in which someone might experience distress related to their gender, and I’m sure you can imagine that there would be different ways of explaining each experience.

Because today we’re talking mainly about body positivity, let me focus on body dysphoria for a moment. I believe there are two reasons that some (but certainly not all) trans people experience body dysphoria. First, there is some interesting research suggesting that during our very early development, our brains and the rest of our bodies may be placed on different tracks with regards to gender. Both our brains and the rest of our bodies develop a certain amount of masculinization and feminization based on the hormones they are exposed to (not just what chromosomes we have). Since the brain and the rest of the body start this process of sexual differentiation at different times, and since the brain has some barriers that mean in some ways it is exposed to a different environment from the rest of the body, it is possible for the brain and the rest of the body to not develop the same degree of masculinization or feminization. My understanding (this is not proven science, just my best educated guess) is that for people whose brains and bodies end up on very different points on those masculinization and feminization spectrums, their brains may be set up to expect their bodies to have parts and develop in a way that the body does not. This disconnect could then create the distress we call body dysphoria.

However, this is not the whole story. I believe there is another cause for body dysphoria that exists in our cultural environments. In addition to our brains being “programmed,” if you will, from our early development to expect a certain body, our brains also learn powerful lessons throughout the rest of our lives about what bodies they should be walking around in. We are all surrounded by endless images and interactions that lead us to associate different body shapes, sizes, hairiness, etc. with different genders. This can create further body dysphoria, as we often take in these messages about what bodies are valued and acceptable for someone of our identity (consciously or subconsciously). Even if we don’t believe that certain bodies are any better than others, it can be hard to not internalize the messages at some level that if we have a certain gender identity, that means it would be preferable to have a certain body features.

So there is a long answer to your short question. I believe both the biological and cultural factors are important in explaining body dysphoria. Different people may also have different experiences of body dysphoria, as they will have differences in both how their bodies and brains developed and what lessons they learned from their cultural environments.

When you are a child and you feel ignored, your brain has actually been programmed to ignore your feelings.
As you age, it will be the ‘norm’ to feel invisible.
And you will naturally feel invisible to your own Self.

You will struggle to ‘see your feelings’ and 'feel them’ and to ultimately be able to 'identify and claim’ these feelings as your own.
You will seek outward validation, cues, signals and signs as a means to help you clarify and justify what is happening inside of you.

This is a consequence of being raised by self absorbed parents.
To 'feel seen’ in an authentic way, we must be willing to 'see the self’ and learn how to embrace as well as shatter any illusion ever created that had us believing we were not good enough.

F**K that programming dear one!

You were always good enough, and when you understand this at your core–you can make the Self your new best friend.
You can be silly, and free because you know it’s okay to be you.

When you develop this self humility and self acceptance, you are able to attract people who can see the real you as well. When they say they love you, you can believe them because you are showing them who you really are. When you hide yourself, and people say they love you,
you will always doubt whether they do because on some level you will know you have hidden some aspect of you due to fearing what they may think of you.

Just be your true Self…own it–accept it…honor it–and don’t expect anyone to change you–and don’t expect anyone to change for you…just be you!

—  Lisa A. Romano

anonymous asked:

Do you think sadistic the third also has that kind of argument with her brain? I can just picture it now and how funny it would be. I do love your interpretation of red hair mc

*setting The Choi family*

Red: Ok finally a day has end
Brain: Not until you fuck Saeyoung no
Red: tsk… why are you like this?
Brain: Why are you like this?
Red: No
Brain: Fuck him
Red: NO
Brain: His delicious moans, make him beg, ride him raw, suck…
Red: No no no Im calmed Im calmed
Brain: We interrupted this program to give you “Midnight sausage with Mr Saeyoung”

Red hair attacked Saeyoung (not that he complained huehue) best evening workout.

Saeran *hello from the other side* *mumble to himself* IS THIS MATING SEASON I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE GAHHHHHHHHHHH

trifoyle  asked:

This AU is making my brain go weird places help. OK so things I know: 1. you ship Grillster.. or at least one-sided crushing Grillby-ster, and 2. as you said in the Windows 7 joke post a couple days ago, Gaster's positronic brain isn't programmed for sexual attraction. So. *pats Grillby* that's rough buddy. Why the difference though? I'm guessing this will be explained later in detail, but does Grillby have more of his original body? Or, did Gaster not have an organic body in the first place?

Ok *stretches* here we go.

Ok Im going to start right of the bat by saying this:

Gaster is a full blown machine, a robot. He is an A.I. in it’s purest form. He has never had an organic body because he was never organic. (don’t worry Trifoyle, Im not mad at you

(Also, Grillby has most of his original body, he just has a few minor augmentations)

Now, we’re gonna delve into the inner workings of Gaster’s mind and (my favorite subject) Robot Psychology. ^^

So, In my explanation of Synthoids, I explained that they can survive without their soul core as long as they have an alternative power source. This means that Gaster doesn’t particularly have a “soul”. Or at the very least, he has no connection to the soul that powers him. You could say his ‘spirit’ or ‘sense of self’ comes from his positronic brain.

A positronic brain is a fictional technological device, originally conceived by science fiction writer Isaac Asimov (1920–1992). It functions as a central processing unit (CPU) for androids, and, in some unspecified way, provides them with a form of consciousness recognizable to humans.

Two examples of individuals who have positronic brains are Sonny from ‘I Robot’ and Lieutenant Commander Data from ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’.   

Yourng Gaster behaves how the humans programmed to. Him along with 3 other synthoids where given personalities to accomplish specific tasks. (ex. construction, warfare, espionage, exc.) Gaster’s behavior is not guided by emotion, but by logic. His job was to make calculations and predictions, a tactician. Like most machines created by humans, Gaster fallowed Issac Asimov’s “Three Laws of Robotics” up until a specific incident witch liberated him. 

He can’t feel anything even though he is powered by a soul. So as you can see in the few pictures I’ve made of him, young Gaster has no emotions.

Older Gaster is a little more complex. The personality that most people see didn’t develop until thousands of years later, when Gaster completed his construction of the Cyberground. In the beginning, Cyber was mostly imitating organic behavior in order to make the monsters of the Cyberground feel more comfortable. However, the soul that was once only a power source is slowly beginning to sync up with his positronic brain, giving him the ability to comprehend feelings  

 He can experience positive emotions such as joy and happiness like an organic, but he still has trouble grasping negative emotions. In fact, when Gaster comes close to experiencing anger or hatred, he reverts back to his earlier self.  But Gaster usually snaps out of it when the emotion passes. (This phenomenon could be caused by the remnants of ‘The Three Laws’ burned onto his cortex)    

The robots made by the monsters are ghosts inhabiting metal bodies. In other words, they have a full range of emotions. That being said, Gaster sometimes feels alone in his struggle to understand organics.

But Gaster will eventually learn and experiences the entire emotional spectrum one day.  

*sigh* Thats about it.^^ Im gonna go chill now. -w-    

mesmerr  asked:

(Might have sent an unfinished ask accidentally) My three year old cat seems to really love banana. A while ago I dropped a piece smaller than a pencil eraser that he got to. Now he always get interested in bananas when I eat them, so I'll put small bits never bigger than a dime down for him. Is that too much? If he doesn't want it I take it away immediately but sometimes he gets excited. He doesn't get some every time I eat a banana, but I wanted to know if this was bad?

It’s not toxic for cats, so it’s not a risk to him if you give him a bit when you eat one. Small amounts are definitely good because too much of a new food can cause gastric distress. 

Now, something to think about is how frequently you give him banana with regards to reinforcing the behavior. Giving him some every time reinforces that being interested in the banana will generally result in being rewarded with banana. However, giving it to him only sometimes will actually increase the tenacity of the begging behavior, because variable reinforcement schedules function like a slot machine in terms of how they program the brain to keep trying to see if it works the next time, and the next, and the next. If you want to decrease the begging behavior, I’d actually move to giving him banana every time but using it as a reinforcer for a chosen behavior - so he has to offer something to get banana, instead of doing the begging behavior. 

agent-85  asked:

Hey there, Rani! FitzSimmons + 35) things you said that made me feel real

Hi, Jane!! How’ve you been? Just super intimidated to write something for you, but here ya go haha. Set towards the end of season 2, but no Maveth or “maybe there is.”


“You’re not here,” he whispers to himself and then shuts his eyes, knowing when he opens them she’ll be gone. This has never happened before—he’d never allowed it to happen before. Mostly because it seems disrespectful to her, to force her into a relationship she’s never wanted, even if it all exists within his imagination. But partly because he knew crossing this line would turn her from a supportive crutch into a weighted stone around his neck.

Imagining her eyes shining with affection and longing and…love? Love. Imagining the feel of her in his arms, in his bed. All it will do, in the end, is drag his body back down to the ocean floor where his soul has dwelled for a lifetime.

“What?” she asks, voice tight and small, and his eyes flicker open to find her still here, sheet tucked around her, makeup smeared, hair mussed beyond recognition. He’s never seen her like this before and she’s beautiful.

“I-I uh…nothing,” he says, turning away from her because staring at her too long is like staring into the sun.

So, does this mean he is living in a universe in which Jemma Simmons barged her way into his room, told him “enough, Fitz,” and then kissed the words right out of his mouth?

And if that’s all true, how is it possible that she’s still here, drawing on his body heat? Why didn’t she escape in the middle of the night when she had the chance?

“Fitz,” she says softly and rests a hand on his chest, right over his thudding heart. He should be embarrassed. He is embarrassed, but it’s far enough down on his list of emotions that it barely registers.

“Are you okay?” she asks, when he doesn’t respond. Tears catch at the corners of his eyes and now he’s properly mortified. He can’t answer her. What could he possibly say? He’s not brain damaged enough to believe this is anything but physical comfort for Jemma, still reeling from betrayals and deaths and her own trauma.

And it’s not that he minds, truly. He’d given her his last, most important breath—what is one night of making her body thrum with pleasure? But why couldn’t she have just left? Why did she have to stay and program his brain to think waking up next to her was normal?

She loves him, in a way, but this, the hands and the mouths and the aching of a want finally sated, this is not real. She’s not real. Maybe, after everything, he’s not either.

“Oh, Fitz, I’m so sorry,” she sighs, and her breath warms the side of his neck in a way that makes his whole world shatter.

“It’s okay,” he says, and he thinks these might be the first words he ever spoke, as if his sole reason for existing is to reassure her. “It’s okay, I underst-I uh, I get it.”

“No,” she says sadly, “I don’t think you do.”

She leans her head against his shoulder, burrowing into his side. He can feel her cool skin against his and his entire body tenses. So that part, at least, hadn’t been a desperate fiction. There’s no way his brain could conjure up precisely how she feels fitted against him with no barriers remaining.

“I’m sorry for…springing this all on you. I’m just so tired of wasting time. And I’m not…so great with expressing myself either, you know. I thought I could just show you.”

Her echo of his own words causes something to catch in his lungs and he struggles to remember that this time he has all the oxygen he needs.

Jemma slides her hand down from his heart until she can grasp his hand, and she holds on tight. “Talk to me. Please.”

“I can’t do this,” he says, finally turning to look at her. This act might be the most courageous he’s ever been. “I can’t pretend that…I mean, I’m happy to make you feel better. I’m happy that we’re friends again. But I can’t pretend that this is just…” He tries to pull his hand away, but she’s strong and won’t let him.

“Just what, Fitz?” and she’s looking at him like she truly doesn’t know and he can’t understand it.

“I’m in love with you,” he finally chokes, the words falling from his mouth like bullets and he hates that because his love for Jemma is not a warzone. Despite the hurt that clawed at his limbs when she returned, despite the lies between them, his love for her has only ever been a carefully tended, wildly overgrown garden. He loves all of it—the wildflowers sprouting up where no one has planted them, the crisp apples and inexplicable tropical fruits, sweet mango juice trailing down his chin, the weeds that refuse to be killed, the roses he yearns to touch without cutting himself to pieces.

He wishes he could show her.

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