I’m not saying there was a point to it, but I might have spent a little too much time making a transparent Bucky Barnes as he runs into battle… and you know… I’d already made it… Sooo waste not want not? I guess.
I am lighter on the autism scale.. but I do have aspergers. it fucking sucks, because I seem “normal” until I do something “weird” or “why did you do that?” then I get asked “can’t you try harder to control that?”. but when people have never seen me do something “out of the ordinary” I’m “faking it” “making that up” “imagining it” or “everyone feels that way”.
Its almost impossible to control, even with medication.. because it can happen in a split second, and it can be overwhelming. By the time I get my senses back to put the breaks on things, I’ve already done the action.
Its embarrassing, but it comes out in other ways too. I don’t remember names, I remember actions and stories, my memory is massive. since my brain runs on picture format, its hard to hold numbers, faces, or punctuation. If you have seen it a literal million times, my brain can’t tell the difference.
If you tell me a story about your life though, I will see it forever in my mind, and whenever I talk to you, I will remember you for it. Sometimes, when I need to remember a new set of instructions I will close my eyes in the middle of a conversation and move my lips a bit. I’m not ignoring you. I’m imaging the new instructions as pictures real quick so I don’t forget them. Last week at work i was asked “from now on i want you to bring in 6 extra eggs for breakfast. ok?” I closed my eyes really quickly and saw six eggs and mouthed the word eggs. the boss looked at me funny “you want me to write that down?” “nah I got it” later that night while I was getting out the eggs my brain blinked with a picture of six eggs. I took out six extras. now it is part of the new routine. every time I get eggs, there will be six new ones added.
Gender as a whole doesn’t really matter to me. Its just a concept represented by old ideas. I literally could care less, Because old ideology based gender constructs don’t fit the complexity of the human condition.
kinda want a piece of media that follows a cheerleader who progressively gets more radicalized as the narrative goes on, and ends up creating really rad protest chants that the resistance can organize under
For every story where you kiss her; there is a story where you don’t. There is a story where you tell her everything, there is a story where you tell her nothing, there is a story where you stand in front of her with blood on your hands and all you can tell her is that you’re sorry.
The best stories are the oldest ones, the ones stitched into the fabric of the universe, told again and again across worlds and throughout galaxies, with every ‘once upon a time’ piercing it anew. You fall in and out of love with her across the long stretches of time and space, your paths interweaving and intertwining, crafted by the alignment of the stars, by the cold hands of fate, by distant, faceless authors with the power to transform you from ruin into rapture and back again.
Not every ‘once upon a time’ is paired with a ‘happily ever after’. The beginnings change, the endings alter, and only the gods know what may happen in between. You are no god, but you do know this:
there is not a single story in which you do not love her.
In this one, she falls from the sky; in that one, she looks up at the stars. In this one, she is standing beside you; in that one, she is a thousand miles away. In this one, you tell her you love her. In that one, you don’t.
In this story, you leave her. In the next one, you stay.
how do you work on college apps with such terrible adhd because i literally cannot even sit down to start, and when i do it takes 8 hours because i keep wandering even though i dont want to ?
FOCUSING ON COMMON APP / COLLEGE ESSAYS
Note: People have requested that I supplement these kinds of posts with a podcast/audio form for those that can’t focus on large bodies of text. Please tell me your thoughts in my inbox!
I recommend you look at my ADHD masterposts if you haven’t already (part 1 and 2.)
I’m in the same boat as you, honestly ;; The app is hard for anyone, let alone people who can’t regulate their attention well enough to even be introspective in the first place. Hopefully, my guidelines can help you like they’ve helped me!
I refrained from talking about how to write the common app, and focused (ha) more on how to plan and write the essay itself, especially when you have regulation issues!
1. Stop treating it as a necessity.
This is less a school essay, and more an opportunity to talk about literally anything that you find really exemplifies certain parts of you. You can format the Common App in whatever way you find proper and applicable, meaning that you have full creative freedom with this!
I’m personally diverging from the traditional essay format, and I strongly encourage that you try it out to see what you prefer. Keep in mind that you also want your essay to tell a story that drills into the very core of who you are, a particular trait of yours, and/or a small event that ties into a larger idea. Be introspective, and if that means coming to unconventional conclusions/formats, so be it!
Make sure to read examples of successful common app essay, just to get an idea of what creativity can mean.
2. Don’t force creativity
ADHD is usually associated with boosts in creativity, but this doesn’t mean that creativity flows on demand-not to mention that your common app essay doesn’t necessarily HAVE to be incredibly creative in the first place. You still want to be authentic to who you are, and if you’re not a creative person, don’t try to be. Also, don’t avoid sitting down and working on your essay just because you’re stuck on something like a creative intro (which brings me to my next point.)
3. Don’t force it in general
Inspiration comes in small, scattered bursts. You may be at a bus station, or eating lunch when suddenly, something hits you and you think you have a solid (prospective) idea for your essay. Write it down! Don’t forget it, even if, as the day goes by, you realize it’s not as strong of a topic as you thought. Work whenever inspiration hits, and when it does, don’t stop writing until you’ve come to a satisfactory stopping point. This doesn’t mean that you should put the essay off until you have inspiration, but just make sure to take advantage of the opportunities when you do.
Note: Often times, you need to just start working on it, regardless of quality. Even if you produce nothing relevant in the first couple of drafts, that process is crucial in order for you to eventually open doors to better ideas. If you work now, you’ll have more time to improve the quality of your ideas.
4. Work informally
Nobody is reading your brainstorming draft. Make typos, write continuously for five minutes regardless of what you’re typing, use abbreviations and internet slang–that’s what your natural thought process looks like. You don’t need to MLA format your brain 24/7; the more fluid your thought process, the easier it will be to select standout ideas to then format into a more organized outline, and eventually, an incredible essay. We’re naturally creatures of chaos, so it would put less pressure on us to be comfortable during the first stages of writing.
5. Go to a public area
Like most of us, I feel like being at home only makes it harder for me to focus. Go to a coffee shop, or public area and see if it helps! These are places I like to say have ambient activity-there’s a constant stream of tolerable, and even enjoyable sounds and people coming and going, and that subtle touch of energy is just enough to prevent the environment from being disengaging or boring.
If you can’t go to a coffee shop or a public area, try the site below! It simulates the same feeling I mentioned above.
This shouldn’t be hard, because we probably do it more often than we’d like to, but take notice of the seemingly unimportant things in your life from time to time. A person may like the way the light reflects on the windowpane, but an artist will draw inspiration from that to create a piece. Be the artist! Extract information and inspiration from normalcy, and experiment with where that takes you. Be careful not to become too distracted with that kind of simulation, though!
7. Set a timer
If you’re worried with how “sitting down and writing until you can’t write anymore” is going to fare with you (that may result in you neglecting other work) then set a timer. Tell yourself that you’re going to work on the essay for, say, 25 minutes (pomodoro technique) and then take a break, or to work on it for no more than 2 hours a day. After the allotted time has passed, jot down any final ideas you have and slowly come to a halt in your brainstorming/writing process. If you have any more ideas later on, you can always jot them down and develop them another time or day.
I have some general techniques in my masterposts that may help as well, such as working with other people, or using technology to aide you in focusing! Best of luck!!