brain coughing

every time I see the word “norwegian” it takes me a moment to remember what country it refers to, and my brain invariably coughs up “norwegia” before it gets to “norway”

Why am I like this
  • Me * falling asleep in class *: damn brain you gotta keep me awake here
  • Brain : I can try
  • Brain : *cough* TOPOFTHEMORNIN'TAYALADDIESMYNAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE
  • me : * fall of my chair like a maniac *
  • Friend : ... Why are you like this .....

why do ya’ll detest Willa so much she was literally brainwashed and abused (AS A CHILD) by 1. her father, 2. Bobo, and 3. Mr cult dude like jfc ya’ll she never stood a goddamn chance can ya’ll direct this vitriol at her abusers please??????

I’m not saying this excuses her actions but … she never really had a choice???? Brainwashing? Stockholm Syndrome? Conditioning?  Ya’ll ever heard of those?????  She needs hospitalization and a shit ton of therapy okay, she deserved better

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6 | Pt.7

Lookee what my brain coughed up~~


Peter stays the night again. The man cooks for the two of them, Stiles finishes his homework, Peter uses his shower and poaches more of Stiles’ clothes, and they end up in the fort again, knees and arms knocking together, blankets piled on top of them.

“Should we be expecting your father tonight?”  Peter enquires idly, not sounding like he cares much either way.

“Mm, no, he’s working on a case out of town.”  It’s instinct to check his phone, but there’s no text message waiting for him, and that’s to be expected too.  He sends one off to Scott though, just to check in, just to ask how he’s doing after everything that went down.  He doesn’t get a reply this time either, which doesn’t surprise him one bit.

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anonymous asked:

Come on, sasuke tried to kill sakura multiple times without hesitation and you mean to tell me he loves her?Someone he actually thought/cared about was naruto, he displayed more emotion around naruto than her. Naruto was such a big influence on him while sakura was just 'there'.He consistently turned her feeling down and he never really showed her feelings. Wtf how can you be pro sasuke and ship him with someone he doesn't even like-_- sasuke and naruto and sasuke even kissed! FUCKIN BRAIN DEAD

I genuinely want to know. Did you come here to get dragged? because these kinds of ignorant statements aren’t really helping your CLEAR ASS BIAS FOR SASUNARU. Alright then without further ado …lets get in this bitch.

“Come on, sasuke tried to kill sakura multiple times without hesitation and you mean to tell me he loves her?”

Your absolutely right he did try to kill her! He was also was out of FuCkINg MiND HUN. Do you even remember all the shit he went through? He single-handled (no pun intended) held the burden of the Uchiha on his shoulders. He was literally willing to go to any lengths necessary to achieve his ultimate goal. Even kill someone he thought of as family. Remember, he thought of team 7 as family because it reminded him of his lost past. I really can’t believe I have to explain this to you.

If your gonna bring up how he tried to kill sakura I thought you might like to see this..

They didn’t loose they damn arm from pickin daises lemme tell you. And for the record, Sasuke tried to kill Naruto many times lol. Or did you think he was trying to invite him in his pants or something? The world may never know!

“Someone he actually thought/cared about was naruto, he displayed more emotion around naruto than her.”

You are not wrong again! Sasuke did think/care about him! But the way you’re talking about….I’m just gonna assume you mean romantically. Naruto was so persistent in getting his best friend back and making sure he stopped Sasuke’s path of hatred and loneliness. And when it came down to it, Sasuke really acknowledged, and appreciated his efforts IN THE END. This led him to accept his efforts of stopping him on his cursed path and giving in. He accepted him as a friend, a.k.a brother-from-another-mother. GOD I LOVE THESE TWO. Anyway, the main story’s bond was always about Sasuke and Naruto, so of coarse you will see more interaction with them. Does it surprise you that Sasuke showed lots of emotion towards someone who he can LITERALLY sympathize with? 

Anyway for a man that is the embodiment of ‘actions speak louder than words’  Please explain to me that these pieces of art don’t show that he feels any type of emotion towards her…even just a little?. Come on I’d love to hear it.

This one being my personal favorite, because he only did this to his loved ones and it’s meant to show his affection towards the other. 

“Naruto was such a big influence on him while sakura was just ‘there’.”

Once again you are correct naruto was a big influence to him, but so was Sakura. Kishi stated that she filled his lonely existence with love, are you really going to argue that? If you are trying to say Sakura did absolutely nothing to try and stop Sasuke on his path of hatred, Imma gonna stop you right there and tell you to read the damn manga again. Why the fuck you think she went after him so many times? Sasuke always knew her intentions, he knew she deeply loved and cared about him. HE ACCEPTED THAT. But due to the curse of hatred and thirst for revenge, he was far to gone to acutely change at the drop a confession. You have to remember that the protagonist, Naruto, is the miracle worker who is utterly relentless when it comes to stopping ‘bad guys’ and changing their ways. But that doesn’t mean Sakura wasn’t as well, she tried with all her power to stop him. But of coarse the protagonist was the one to knock him out of his funky ass stage in life. It was to be expected after all. 

Please acknowledge that she did everything she could, and that she was strong enough to even dare to stop a criminal who was seen as a lost cause by pretty much everyone.

“He consistently turned her feeling down and he never really showed her feelings”

Like I stated before, he has always acknowledged her true intentions/confessions but he was in his ‘’funky ass stage in life” to acutely stop his extremest ideas of taking down the hierarchy in revenge for his family. Sasuke knew she was trying to stop him because she loved him and wanted the best for him, but that’s exactly what he didn’t want. Too busy tryin to take out konaha remember? He didn’t want to accept love into his life because hey, everyone he every loved in the past died at the cost of the hierarchy! Why let people into your life when you could just loose them and feel the same pain yet again, right? Have you ever lost someone you loved? Well let me tell you, it fucking sucks. Dealing with the constant thought of not being able to see them again, and knowing there was nothing you could have done. FUCK I’m just glad I didn’t have my whole blood line killed. I’m sure it was really hard to accept anyone’s feelings, after losing the very people who he cared most about. Whether it be platonic or romantic, at that time in his life accepting people feelings wasn’t an option. Why the hell do you think it took so long to get him back? He was all bout that revenge.

“Wtf how can you be pro sasuke and ship him with someone he doesn’t even like-_-”

I AM A PROUD MAMA AND HE IS MY FUCKING SON AND I SUPPORTED HIM AND HIS BAD DECISIONS BECAUSE KNOWING THE PLOT TO THE STORY (”Those who endure”-Sasuke fuckin Uchiha’s words right there for ya) I KNEW HE WOULD CHANGE FOR THE BETTER AND HE HAS CHANGED, HE REACHED HIS FULL POTENTIAL, YOU KNIT WIT. HE HAS LEARNED FROM HIS MISTAKES AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES HIM MY ALL TIME FAVORITE CHARACTER IN ANYTHING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I’M A HOE FOR THE UCHIHA, AND IT’S ALL THANKS TO HIM. HE IS WHAT WE CALL “WISE”, SO……

“sasuke and naruto and sasuke even kissed!”

lol, I like how you added sasuke’s name twice to reassure yourself that they did in fact kiss.

Could this be what you’re talking about?

WHAAAAAT THEY KISSED? Or it could be the fact that Naruto literally got smashed into his face. So much passion I’m swooning! Ever heard of comic relief? I recommend you look it up. It’s meant for those with a sense of humor.

It’s funny how you try and promote your little ‘’kiss’’ when this beautiful girl exists. SARADA FUCKIN UCHIHA 

And y’all know it takes a little more than a kiss to make a child if you know what I’m saying.*coughs*

“FUCKIN BRAIN DEAD”

I hope to God you don’t go around leaving this kind of garbage in people’s ask boxes. You might ruin their day you little shit! I really don’t see what’s the big deal? I enjoy my ship in peace, while people like you still make posts about how much you hate the ending and shit. I really didn’t come here for y’all salty ass negativity. YOU PEOPLE THRIVE OFF NEGATIVITY, UHHH???? MAYBE DON’T FOLLOW ANYMORE CONTENT ON NARUTO IF IT REALLY BOTHERS YOU TO THE POINT OF PUTTING THIS MESS IN MY ASK BOX. It’s really not healthy. But hey, for someone who is brain dead, that’s none of my business.

Sincerely,

-The bitch you pissed off

Super super late night rough sketch of an idea I got while watching Memoirs of a Geisha for the umpteenth time and looking through all of my reference photos of samurai and kimonos I have on my phone that I forgot I even had. Basically another AU I thought of where InuYasha is a rogue samurai who wanders into the district Kagome works as a geisha. They meet, sparks fly, the usual, but geisha are not allowed the freedom to love and live outside of their profession, and Inu has some sort of fucked past he’s running away from in the meantime and now I’m just rambling away someone stop me please—
This has probably already been done and I know there’s gotta be some historical inaccuracies but i really wanted to draw them like this.
So…. Enjoy ._.

A (W)hole New World

Reid x Reader

“I’m sorry you want to do what?” You looked at your boyfriend, surprised at the words that had left his mouth.

Spencer shifted uncomfortably on the bed where you were laying together after your latest ‘session.’

“You’re the one that suggested trying something different!”

You had. It wasn’t like your sex life was boring or anything, it was just… Occasionally the team would tease you and Spencer about what you did behind closed doors. It was expected as the only couple in the office and normally you didn’t mind. The teasing was mainly for Spencer’s benefit anyway, they loved seeing him blush. However for your birthday a few weeks ago one of the gifts they’d got you was a copy of the Kama Sutra. You knew it was from Derek because of the note pinned to the front of it and you knew it was a joke. But Spencer had taken offence to it and it had made you wonder.

So this evening after an hour of enthusiastic love making, you bought it up with him. Which had led to a conversation about different things you could try.

Which had led to him suggesting anal sex.

“I meant like… tying each other up and maybe some light spanking and stuff. Not sticking your dick up my poop shute.”

“Oh…..”

You eyed his face, detecting something in his voice.

“Oh my god! You’re actually disappointed aren’t you?”

“Erm…. No?”

“Yes you are. Jeez Spencer, if you wanted to fuck my shit hole so badly you should have said.”

“Please stop…. ”

You did stop, feeling mean for teasing him. It was a typical guy thing after all, wasn’t it? You’d experimented with that… area in college once but hadn’t found it pleasurable at all, more painful than anything, so you’d stayed away from it since then. It’s not like girls had any magic spots up there, not like guys did.

Which made you wonder again. And then sent your brain in a very strange direction which suddently you felt very sure you wanted to go down.

“Spence… ”

“Hmmmm?”

“No joking this time. If that’s something you really want to try, then we can. We’ll have to buy some things, but we can try it. If that’s what you want?”

He was quiet for a moment or two and you could almost hear the cogs in his brain whirling around. He coughed, the way he did when he was nervous.

“It IS something I kinda would like to try. But only if you’re okay with it. I mean… Obviously it’s a lot tighter and…. ”

“Are you trying to tell me I have a baggy vagina?”

“NO!!! God no. And please never use those two words together again. Ever. I just…. I’ve never done it before and it IS meant to be good.”

“Until you get shit on your dick…. ”

He rolled his eyes at you. “One: You’d obviously clean up first and make sure that…. you’d been to the toilet beforehand. Two: I’d wear a condom…..”

“…. Yeah cos you’re just gonna be able to slip your cock in without stretching it out first.”

“Fine, point taken. I’ll… figure it out. Three: We’ve been together for two years, I’m relatively well acquainted with your bodily functions by now. If anything like that did happen, which yes there’s a distinct possibility, it’s not gonna put me off you or make me run to the toilet and start gagging. Sex is messy.”

“Especially when you add faeces into the matter.”

“Y/N!!”

You giggled, “Sorry, I’ll stop. Anyway, if ramming your dick into my back door is what you so desire then I’m game.”

“I love how lady like you are….”

“Shhh. You love my crudeness. I thought you normally liked it when I talk dirty?”

He rolled his eyes at you for a second time that evening.

“Back to the topic of discussion here. If you wanna fuck me in the ass then I’m down with that shit. Literally. I’ll give it a go. On one condition.”

Now Spencer looked equal amounts curious and terrified.

“Go on?”

“I get to do the same to you!”

He spluttered, almost choking and you slapped his back and handed him some water from the bedside table, waiting for him to calm down.

“You want to…. What?”

“I. Want. To. Fuck. You. In. The. Ass. With. A. Strap. On.”

Spencer’s mouth opened and closed a few times as you justified your request.

“Men have a g spot thing up there right? So surely it’s more pleasurable for you than it is me. Plus… I kinda wanna feel what it’s like to have a penis and to do the thrusting.”

His voice was strangled when he spoke, “You want to have a penis and do the thrusting?”

You shrugged. “Yup. Why not. If we’re all about trying new things, let’s go the whole hog.”

You watched him internally reasoning with himself before receiving the complete opposite response to what you’d expected.

“Fine. But I get to go first.”

am i the only one who got the feeling like mark was talking TO felix in his video? like, the whole “respect everyone” talk, wasn’t just telling us to respect felix, but kinda like… telling felix to respect others/people he unknowingly hurt/offended?

like. it’s pretty obvious he isn’t just blatantly defending felix in his video. with him saying things like “[…] whether or not that’s a fault of his own actions or the society we live in […]” and such, he’s not stating “felix did nothing wrong!”. his only concrete statement about felix was that he isn’t an anti-semite - which i think anyone with half a brain could see *cough cough*

i dunno, i might be just talkin’ out of my ass here, but it did seem to me like he wasn’t only addressing us/people who are against felix, but perhaps felix himself, like sorta subtly calling him out while still being a good friend and an understanding human being.

maybe ‘s just me  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Apparently I’m on a roll, but I got a couple requests for Klaroline and the magic school premise, so I have a preview from the one I’m currently working on…

Hope shrugged, tilting her head to the side. “Can I ask you a question?”

She wrinkled her brow in concern and motioned for the little girl to shut the door behind her. “Of course.”

The young girl came in and clambered into the seat in front of Caroline’s desk and clasped her fingers in front of her, giving the woman a contemplative look. The blonde had to bite back a giggle at how familiar that expression looked.

“How do you know my dad?”

Caroline startled, dropping the pen she was holding on her desk. Hope arched a brow in response, quirking the corner of her mouth up into Klaus’ signature smirk.

“I-uh, I knew him from when I was in high school,” she managed to get out, flashing her a pageant smile.

“Were you guys friends?”

“Uh- kind of, yeah,” she shrugged.

Tried to kill each other, flirted, threatened, fucked each other’s brains out, same thing.

Caroline coughed at that reminder, squirming uncomfortably. “Why do you ask?”

The redhead shrugged. “My dad said you were-” Of course he did, Caroline thought with a tiny smile, “-but he doesn’t really have many friends outside the family. Aunt Bekah says it because he can’t play well with others.”

Caroline chuckled warmly. “Yeah, he’s struggles with that.”

“And I found an old sketchbook on Friday and I think he was drawing you when you were friends,” she said mildly.

Caroline heart thudded and she chuckled nervously, trying to remain unaffected. “Really?”

“When I asked him about it, he just took it away and I got in trouble for snooping,” Hope said exhaustively. “I was just looking for paper.”

work thoughts

I have so many little sheets of paper with stuff written on them, here we go

-all my friends/mutuals should know that my text hearts (<3) are No Romo.  I love my friends!  but I’m not flirting with anyone so…pls take them platonically.

-the first step to not having anxiety about a distressing situation seems to be learning to bear it.  at work and in social situations, I’ve been slowly getting better at just being uncomfortable and experiencing it fully and accepting it.  it sucks and it’s real hard but I’m not full-on miserable as often?  so that’s nice.

-the other day I was trying to remember ryan gosling’s name and the first thing my brain coughed up was “Reynold Duckberg”

-I need a haircut so bad, ugh

-I like to picture myself in this one clothing commercial alongside its immaculately-dressed + made-up models.  not in like, a bitter way, I just think it’s funny?  the theme of the commercial is “come as you are” or something and everyone at this sexy party has long, slender arms and perfect hair and smiles that aren’t quite wide enough to be inelegant.  and then also toasty’s there, wearing pajama pants and a waffle weave mens’ shirt

-I don’t think I’m being clever pointing out a lack of realism in a clothing commercial of all things, but I’m amused by the idea that there are people who really spend their alone time in their artsy studio apartments looking photogenic and perfectly dressed.  that said, if they’re out there more credit to them.  I hope you’re having fun at your sexy elegant parties.

-you do not have to lie to compliment someone’s art–I don’t care how young or inexperienced or “””cliche””” they are.  look for their potential, find what pieces you think are cute or appealing or funny, and don’t be backhanded about it.  and unless they want a full critique, you don’t have to tell them what’s bad about it either.  there’s plenty to be said for positive reinforcement!

-I never lie when complimenting someone’s art.

-”If you see her in the street/walking by herself/talking to herself/grumbling at herself/swearing at herself–”

-the keys to easily understanding someone with a heavy accent or speech impediment seem to be 1. exposure and 2. relaxing.  Focusing Real Hard and getting freaked out unfortunately just makes it harder, in my experience.

-I like the fact that when a story mentions that someone was “shyly biting their lip” or whatever, they can specific lower lip but they don’t have to–it’s assumed.  but just for kicks, the next time you see that, you should imagine them biting their upper lip instead. :>[ 100% story improvement + laugh factor.

-the word “consternation” doesn’t seem to have any remaining grammatical forms in English?  no one ever says “I’m consternated” or “that was very consternating”.

[Insert motivational comforting speech here because I can’t word today.]

Have a lovely picture by @destinyapostasy of my OC Passion comforting @feynites‘ Thenvunin (design courtesy of @pyrrhy) at some point during their as yet Unspecified Military Shenanigans.  

Their friendship began with him being the only one in her Non-Magical Self-Defense class to successfully dodge her punches.  (Who thought it was a good idea to have her train a bunch of Sylaise and Mythal’s snobby fledgling battlemages anyway?)  It continued through years of saving each others lives and supporting each other in the field.  They survived when so many others they knew did not and they will remember and carry on.

There’s a lot that I love about this picture.  Between their hair and their faces they just look so tired and so done but they have to keep going.  As always, the faces are A+ fantastic - the strong lines, the noses, everything.  The hands are great too.  Just…aaaaaaah!   I really wish my brain would cough up the words for this scene to do it justice.  

Thanks again for bringing them to life.

Edit: I must also add thanks to @pyrrhy for all her wonderful art and designs that helped inspire this. Sleepy me was a doofus and forgot to mention this in my original post. Sorry!

y'all……. i have a play at 7 and i don’t think i’ve ever been this nervous in my life

our corrupted minds [KIM TAEHYUNG] college!au - pt1

Originally posted by hyunasus

[chapter index]

“I didn’t know you suffered from your brain.” Soomi awkwardly coughed, she hated this. Mrs Hong had partnered up the students with people, they had to get to know each other. “We all have secrets Soomi.” He smiled mischievously. 

That smile made her feel vulnerable, she felt he knew something about her. Something she tried to keep hidden for a majority of her life. “Why are you so bloody scary?” She mumbled underneath her breath. “You know I can still hear you Soomi.” He laughed softly and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Kim Taehyung was a completely different person. In university, he had this scary demeanor around him. All girls flocked towards him, but he would push them away. Like toys. 

“You’re weird Taehyung, something smells fishy about you.” Her heart began to beat faster. This is why she hated social interaction. Soomi voiced her thoughts which led to a lot of people getting offended. Ever since she was 16, she closed herself out of reality. Taehyung just laughed. 

He enjoyed her company, even though he just met her a few minutes ago, Soomi was a unique person. He knew all her secrets. Although she didn’t know any of his. “Listen, you creep me the hell out.” Soomi sighed and tried to hide behind her short bob. 

“Soomi I find you so…interesting. You’re life may have started out badly, but the adventures haven’t began.” Taehyung whispered and she felt goosebumps flow through her body. She found Kim Taehyung one of the most weirdest peoplen she’d ever met.

-

The brunette sighed as she placed down her heavy backpack onto the wooden floor of her studio apartment. A place she treasured so much because of the beautiful view of Seoul from the rooftop of this building. It calmed her. To just sit there and watch how people passed by, not noticing someone sitting there.

Soomi was used to being invisible to others. People barely noticed she was there. And she was happy to go by unnoticed. She was used to it anyways. Approaching the kettle and filling it with water, she began to boil water and get her tea bag and mug ready. As she heard the kettle let out noise, Soomi went to grab a thick blanket and pulled out her phone from the backpack. 

As soon as she went back to the kitchen the boiled water was ready and she began to pour down the water into the mug. She listened to the water falling into the cup. Throwing in one cube of sugar and Soomi mixed in the sugar. She walked up to the rooftop she treasured the most and sat down. 

She decorated the place herself, since her studio apartment led to the rooftop. Fairy lights were hung up and she placed an orange worn out couch in the middle of the place. Soomi lay down on the couch and let out a loud sigh. The stars calmed her down. It was like black dots were painted onto a black canvas. 

Your life may have started out badly, but the adventures haven’t begun.

‘Why is he so annoying and creepy?’ Soomi thought to herself and furrowed her eyebrows in annoyance at the thought of Kim Taehyung’s stupid words. 

Her phone vibrated in her hand and she looked at the new notification:

unknown; the first adventure begins tomorrow.

-

[a/n

soomi is played by my queen, IU and the story has just begun ;)]

The Protective Soldier

Request: Can I request a Bucky x reader please? Where Bucky met the Avengers and is atracted to the reader and protective over her, and one time he gets into winter soldier mode and everyone is worried he might hurt the reader but he became extremly overprotective and dont let anyone and anything touch her cause is dangerous (like even killed a fly that is too close to her). Hope its make sense, English is not my native language :c Thanks!

A/N: Fem!Reader. This one kind of ran away from me before I could reign it in, so it’s longer than I planned. I almost made it a two parter, but I liked it more this way. Enjoy!

Warnings: Possible use of language, I can’t remember. Reader is temporarily abducted by the bad guy.

Word Count Total: 1939

Title: The Protective Soldier

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I swear, you can take any random word and add “fic” to it and it will be a really gross weird creepy smut fanfiction