The point behind all the posts saying that reverse racism/heterophobia/cisphobia/misandry isn’t real is not to somehow deny the hatefulness of hateful words. They are hateful, but they are justly hateful and you telling people to ‘stop spreading hate, love everyone!’ is a useless waste of breath. Here’s why:
Firstly, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, classism, fatphobia and misandry are systemic. This means there are steps at every point within the Western social system put into place to make it more difficult for people to live. These are layered and both subtle and obvious - a couple of examples are the ideal body type shoved in our faces, the absence of minority representation in the media, the wage gap, lack of equal marriage, etc. The so-called ‘opposites’ of these are not contributing to a system of oppression for a range of reasons, but mostly because the people contributing words of hatred towards the privileged are not in any position to actually socially disempower them - that power lies with the rich cis straight able-bodied white male and his similar pals.
Because of this systemic setup, when you focus your energies on ‘no hate, just love for all! We’re all equal!’, what you are not saying is ‘I care deeply for all people alike’ - although I know you think you are. What you are actually saying is ‘I would rather focus my attention on maintaining the systemically privileged social standing of x, y and z groups than acknowledge the righteous anger of the people who are affected negatively by these privileged groups every day’. If you wish to lead by example and not come for the privileged social groups listed above, then please go ahead and no doubt that will have some positive impact in the world. But please don’t waste time denying the painful experiences of the people negatively affected by their social standing because you think you are spreading ‘love’. You are not.
tl;dr: The people being hateful towards privileged groups have a reason, let them express themselves and spend the time you would have spent chiding them combating racist/misogynist/transphobic/homophobic/etc assholes.