Humans Are Space Orcs: Braces

I have been reading a lot of these so here it is,

Just imagine an alien when they find out about braces.

“Do you mean to tell me that you strap metal to your young and slowly move their bones, without pain killers, over long periods of time? The bones that they use to eat? Then make them wear more metal in their mouths for the rest of their life, all for a standard of beauty?”

Nah dude, some do it for medical reasons. I knew someone who had three teeth stuck in the roof of their mouth so they put braces on them and fixed that right up”

“I don’t think I understand”

“They had to do it, because they had already pulled out their baby teeth so they would have had gaps or out of order teeth. Or get infected.

“But how did braces on the outside of their teeth affect the teeth that were *stuck*”

They first had to cut through the bone to get to them and then they stuck brackets on them. But after that, they just dragged the teeth into place.”

“Through the bone?”


"And it worked?”


*horrified aliens* “I thought you said you care about your young”

"We do”

*even more Horrified aliens*

*off to the side* “didn’t the human say they cared about us”

imagine if Richie got braces

-one of the worst days of Richie’s life was having to walk into school with braces

-it turned out his teeth were fucked, and now he needed to wear them for the next couple of years

-everyone at school had a field day making fun of him, now that he looked even nerdier than before

-the loser’s club tried to assure him he looked fine; that it was no big deal. But he saw Stan sniggering, and noticed Eddie’s pitying look

-Richie eventually stopped talking, laughing, or doing anything that would risk showing people his braces.

-Eddie started to notice; and knew there was only one solution:

-he got braces too. Convincing his mom was way too easy. “But mom! Not getting braces could pose a serious risk to my mouth in the future! What if I end up with a jaw misalignment?!”

-Richie is over the moon the day Eddie walks in to school and gives him the biggest smile ever; showing him his new rainbow braces

-they actually really suit him; and it weirdly becomes the cool new thing. Nobody makes fun of Richie anymore. In fact, they’re all secretly envious

-….but Eddie and Richie totally don’t end up getting their mouths stuck together after their braces tangle during a make out session….

-definitely not.


Comic: @bunny-yams     (Link to the comic)


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