reminder: relapse in recovery doesn’t mean all your progress is destroyed. you’ve taken so many steps forward and a relapse might take you a step back but you are strong enough to get back up again and persevere
Having Borderline Personality Disorder means going from feeling euphoric and great for a while then a small hint of rejection or abandonment comes then you spiral back into chronic emptiness. It also means having an identity crisis and not recognising the reflection you see in the mirror. It’s constantly dyeing your hair different colours to match your new personality. It’s changing jobs, goals, and aspirations because of your unstable identity. It’s fearing abandonment deep down to your core that you leave people before they leave you because you want to avoid that feeling of abandonment at all costs. It’s having zero self control over your thoughts and your extreme mood that constantly swings over the smallest things. It’s being impulsive: it’s having unprotected sex, it’s being promiscuous, it’s binge shopping, it’s binge eating, it’s running around the streets jumping on a stranger’s car. It’s being emotionally dependent on other people. It’s latching onto others and being overly attached to them. It’s obsessing over the smallest things. It’s having inappropriate anger. It’s being an unpredictable roller coaster. Being borderline means a lot of things. It also means being passionate, when you love, you love so much that it burns you up. It’s experiencing every emotion 10x stronger. It’s having gone through so much emotional trauma that you become resilient. To all my borderline warriors out there, you’re all so strong and so brave and I’m so fucking proud of you for being here today. You’ll be okay, stay strong and have faith in yourself.
Remember forcing positivity can be very damaging! Everyone experiences a mixture of positive and negative emotions and repressing all negative emotions isn’t healthy - allow yourself to feel what you feel
how about a shout out to the people who have the “ugly” symptoms like obsessing over others, having fits of rage, idolizing people, debating their validity constantly, crying over the tiniest things, depending on others for validation. shout out to the people who are frustrated with not being able to control their own mind. you guys rock! i understand that feeling and i’m here for you!
a set of simple strategies to detach from emotional pain for example
(cravings, self harm urges, emotional eating behaviour etc.) Grounding can also
be a way of returning your attention to the outside world and away from
yourself. In the case of dissociation.
PRACTICE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES?
When you are
overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain
control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you are
more likely to be able to overcome urges. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to reality.
with PTSD and dissociative disorders struggle with either feeling too much
(overwhelming emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation).
In grounding, you attain balance between the two—conscious of reality and ability
to tolerate it.
§ Grounding can be done any time, anywhere
and no one has to know.
· § Use grounding when you
with a trigger, having a flashback or dissociating.
· § Keep your eyes open, look around the room, and
make sure the light is good to stay in touch with the present.
· § Rate your mood before and after to test
whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of
· § emotional pain, or your
level of dissociation. Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?
· Try not to make judgements or
think negatively. The idea is to distract from the negatives.
· § Stay neutral—no judgments of good or
· § Focus on the present, not the past or future.
· § Grounding
is much more active than relaxation exercises and focuses your attention.
deemed to be a better way of coping with PTSD and dissociative disorders than
relaxation practice. As during relaxation the focus is too much within the
body, which at the worst may bring on flashbacks.
♣ Describe to yourself in detail your
surroundings: For example “The walls are white, there are three pink chairs and
a blue sofa. There is a picture of a brown border collie on the wall with a
gold frame around it.” You can do this out loud if appropriate, or in your head
if you are in public.
♣ Play a game like “Scattergories” in your head
or with a friend or family member. Choose a letter of the alphabet and try and
come up with as many examples of a category you choose as you can. For example
C … Boys names: Christopher, Curtis, Carl, Charles etc.
♣ Do an age progression. IThis can be
particularly useful if you have dissociated or regressed to a younger alter or
state. For example in my experiences I have an alter who is three. So I might
say… Now I am four, I am at home with Mummy and Daddy and I can do (an example
of an age appropriate activity) alone. Work your way up until you are back to
your current age. This may not always work for little alters, but can help.
♣ Describe an everyday activity in great detail.
For example if you like gardening “I open the shed door and pull out the
lawn mower, I connect it to a power supply and climb on. I turn the key and put
it into drive….”
♣ Imagine. For example make up a nice
little story in your head, or out loud. “I am putting some roller skates on,
and I am slowly gliding away from all my emotional suffering down a beautiful
smooth lane, having fun listening to my favourite music LOUD!”
♣ Say a safety statement. ‘My name is
_________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am in
_____________ the date is _____________.
· ♣ Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each
letter backwards so that you focus or the letters and not on the meaning of
· ♣ Use humour: For example have a “Funny Memory Bank” where you store up
your favourite witty moments for those detached, rainy days.
· ♣ Count to 100 or say the alphabet very slowly or very fast.
· ♣ Repeat something meaningful to yourself, such as a prayer or quote. For
example you could use the Serenity Prayer.
û Run cool or warm water over your hands.
û Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you
· û Touch various objects around you: a
pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Pay close attention to colours,
weights, textures etc.
· û Firmly stamp your feet on the floor, literally
grounding yourself. Feel the tension of your feet against the pressure of the
· û Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small
object such as a rock, stone, crystal, bead, piece of string or cloth, or a
stress ball that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.
· û Jump up and down.
· û Stretch reach upwards and pull yourself
tall. Extend your arms, legs, fingers and toes.
· û Walk slowly, noticing each footstep.
· û Eat something yummy. Notice the flavours,
textures and feelings that come up for you.
· ♥ Use Cheerleading statements, as if you were talking to a small
child. For example “You are having a difficult time adjusting to these chanes,
but you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.”
· ♥ Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal,
season, food, time of day, TV show.
· ♥ Picture people you care about. Even get a photobook made of positive
pictures or pictures of people you love! Such a simple nice way to ground, and
you can get A4 photo books at the moment from GroupOn for under £7!! (I in no
way endorse them I just thought it was a good offer!)
· ♥ Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that
you like or feel positively about. Maybe write out the words and decorate it
for your wall.
· ♥ Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very
soothing it could be when you went on holiday to the beach, or walking in the
woods. Or just a time you felt safe and peaceful at home in your living room or
· ♥ Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a trip to a coffee
shop with a friend, making a nice dinner or a bath with some nice toiletries or
candles if you feel safe to use them
· ♥ Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week.
Perhaps schedule your time so you build some structure for chores and
pleasurable activities. It can help to know what you are doing and also not
just sit at home with nothing to do. This can cause difficulties.
WHAT IF GROUNDING DOESN’T WORK?
♠ Practice as often as possible. Even
when you don’t feel overwhelmed or dissociative. This way it will come more
naturally to you when you are struggling.
♠ Practice faster. Speeding up the pace
gets you focused on the outside world quickly.
♠ Try grounding for
a Ioooong time 20 mins at least, and then repeat !!
♠ Try to notice
whether you do better with physical or mental or soothing grounding.
♠ Create your own methods of grounding. Any
method you make up may be worth much more than those you read here because it
♠ Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle.
Start when you begin to feel the early warning signs of dissociation or when
you have just started having a flashback.
i really hope everyone on here heals and moves on from all this and lives happy fulfilling lives because everyone deserves that especially with all the pain a lot of you have been through so i’m just popping by to wish you the best of luck in the future