boyfriends interests

Story of today; I talked to a friend of mine and I was going to show them a picture of something and scrolled through the photos on my phone to find it, I’m often very private when it comes to my phone but they leaned in and looked over my shoulder anyway and just poked on one of the pictures and then they go “is that your dad?”. Well, here’s the picture of my daddy apparently.

Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

  • Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities
  • Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him
  • Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)
  • Picking a guy at random to be attracted to
  • Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing
  • Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them
  • Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way
  • Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with
  • Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate
  • Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them
  • Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them
  • Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

  • Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man
  • Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

  • Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

  • Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

  • Going along with escalation because it seems like the 'appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

  • Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness
  • Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

  • Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic
  • Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually
  • Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends
  • Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals
  • Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless
  • After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with
  • Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

  • Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted
  • OR: preferring to 'be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore
  • Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred
  • Using sex with men as a form of self-harm
  • Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)
  • Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it
  • Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him
  • Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing
  • Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

  • Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women
  • Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else
  • Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)
  • Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend
  • Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic
  • Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent
  • Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate
  • Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”
  • When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”
  • Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people
  • Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)
  • Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

  • Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women
  • Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media
  • Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”
  • Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men
  • Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic
  • Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+
  • Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.
  • Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

  • Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman
  • Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman
  • Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know
  • Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position
  • Really focusing on the women in het porn
  • Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’
  • Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that
  • Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

  • Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian
  • Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian
  • Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
  • Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man
  • Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

  • Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be
  • Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy
  • Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly
  • Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men
  • Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you
  • Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake
  • Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

The average ages of kpop boy groups

This is literally a pointless post but I was BORED

  • Super Junior - 31.9
  • Big Bang - 28.7
  • Shinee - 26.2
  • Exo - 25.3
  • BtoB - 25.1
  • Vixx - 25
  • Winner - 24.9
  • BAP 24.4
  • Boyfriend - 23.9
  • Hotshot - 23.9
  • Day6 - 23.8
  • Monsta X - 23.7
  • BTS - 22.8
  • Got7 - 22.3
  • Nu’est - 22.3
  • Pentagon - 21.9
  • iKon - 21.4
  • SF9 - 21.3
  • NCT 127 - 20.8
  • Seventeen - 20.7
  • Astro 20.2
  • Wanna One - 20.15
  • NCT Dream - 17

(average heights) (Girl groups: height, age)

The 15 Types of Verbal Abuse in a Relationship

Originally posted by raquel-lostgirl

According to Patricia Evan’s book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, there are 15 type of verbal abuse, which can happen within a relationship. The information below is both revealing and eye opening. Did you know that something as forgetting is a sign of abusive behavior? It demonstrates neglect, whether it is intentional or unintentional. We urge everyone to educate themselves on these next 15 harmful acts.

Keep reading

4

\\ It`s time for the theories, my dudes \\


Jesus, this teaser has just set the whole YOI fandom on fire, wow…

I want a gta au h2ovanoss fic where Vanoss and Delirious are hanging out at a bar, and a guy comes up and starts hitting on Delirious, who is slowly getting more uncomfortable and pissed off so Vanoss goes over and tries to stop him calmly and the guy is just like “What, trying to save your little boyfriend?”

and vanoss just goes “NO BITCH, IM SAVING YOU, HE HAS A KNIFE IN HIS FUCKING SLEEVE, DAMN DUDE. YOU GONNA DIE.”

Some ideas for productive breaks and smart multitasking

You shouldn’t feel pressured to work all the time. By all mean take breaks, and do whatever you want during your breaks. Those are just some activities that I enjoy doing when I’m not working on my uni work. I thought that I would share them with you because they have worked wonders for me. Just pick what you like and try it out!


  • Watch TV shows and movies in their original language. It still feels like a break: you can get all curled up in bed and get some snacks, but you’re still practicing a foreign language. It can be anything you want, even Youtube videos or reality shows. For English learners, ororo.tv is the best website ever.


  • Find an online class (mooc) about a subject that interests you. It can be anything, whether it’s school related or not. It will come so handy. For instance, if you’re passionate about photography, complete an online course about it. First of all, it should be a lot of fun. But also, one day, during an interview, someone is going to ask you what your personal interests are. “I like photography like thousands of people out there” is a bit less im-pressive than “I like photography. I even completed an online class from a foreign university this year during my free time. Indeed, I love to set myself challenges”. Coursera is my personal favourite.


  • Sit with your friends, grab coffee, and talk about subjects that you are passionate about. Ask your friends to tell you more about that subject that they love and know a lot about, ask them questions, examples and so on. Truth is, we tend to feel annoying when talking for hours about something that we love, but we’re not. I guarantee that you’re going to discover so much about your friends’ interests and that you’ll love it. And you’re actually learning a lot at the same time. My boyfriend is really interested in new technologies, and I always ask him to tell me the latest news about it. Well last time it allowed me to take part in a conversation at work about something that he told me about, and people were actually surprised that I knew so much about it.

  • Download podcasts and audio books for your trips. I know I can never be bothered to read a book in the subway and I always end up on my phone so I might as well listen to something interesting.


  • Do more things that don’t involve a screen : go out for a walk and discover a new neighbourhood, draw and improve your skills, cook and learn a new recipe, grab a newspaper and check on what’s happening in the world, remember that learning can be fun and that it’s not only going to school.

on the walk from the subway station to magnus’s loft, the air felt thick with summer. it felt like it was threatening lightning and it was pressing in on alec’s skin with every step he took up the well lit street, the sound of traffic and the river loud around him. it was one of those nights where it wasn’t exactly warm but you could feel the temperature rising, pulling itself up for the next day which would be sticky no doubt. there was something strange about it, and yet something beautiful and alec was lost in his thoughts as he got to magnus’s building and pushed through the doors.

the minute he was inside in the lobby, the processed air hit him and he realized as he breathed just how thick everything had felt outside. it made it even clearer as he stood there waiting for the elevator that tonight would be a rainstorm, possibly a violent one. but his mind didn’t stay on it long as he listened to the chime of the elevator and stepped in. it was quiet and cool inside and he leaned against the railing, running his fingers over the string of his bow. he had come from an unsuccessful stakeout and there hadn’t been a point heading back to the institute before he went to magnus’s. he’d told raj he’d send him his report and he’d see him tomorrow, then they parted with two equally tired smiles after a long day of work.

Keep reading

Dating Levi Ackerman headcanons. 💓

Originally posted by tatakaeeren

A/N: Do you guys understand how happy this made me? Send help pls

+ He’s an interesting boyfriend to say the very least.
+ You and him are polar opposites. You’re fun, carefree and bubbly then there’s Levi who’s serious, stoic and feared.
+ Besides your beauty, your personality is what really drew him to you. In a way he admired the fact that you could be so positive through everything.
+ It was definitely really hard to get him to open up to you when you two first started dating. In fact, many people had no idea that you were together for the first three months.
+ You started to believe he wasn’t really interested in you.
+ It was until one night you were in his office and he wasn’t paying any attention to you because he was doing work and you just lost it.
+ “Maybe this whole thing was a mistake..”
+ You got up and headed towards the door but Levi stopped you by grabbing your hand. You turned around to look at him and you soon found his lips crashing onto yours. The first kiss you both shared together and it was spectacular.
+ “Don’t be stupid, brat.”
+ “I- Wha- Okay.”
+ Levi is very protective over you.
+ He’s always pushing you past your limit during training because he wants you to be the strongest you that you can be. Mentally and physically.
+ You’re very territorial over your man.
+ He’s Levi fucking Ackerman. So many girls want to get in his pants and it pisses you off to no end.
+ “What’s your problem, brat?”
+ “She has looked over here at you way too many times in my book and if she keeps staring at you- I don’t know what I’m gonna do but I’m gonna do it!”
+ Levi low key thinks your the most adorable thing when you’re mad because you go off on these ramblings and you get all pouty. You think you’re trying to be intimidating but it’s actually the opposite.
+ PDA isn’t Levi’s thing but it’s definitely yours.
+ You like to randomly walk up to him and peck him on the lips then skip away innocently.
+ He always bitches at you about it but yet he always kisses you back when you do it.
+ You feed him because sometimes he forgets to eat.
+ You’re the only one who can make his tea.
+ His sleeping schedule is so shitty.
+ You literally have to drag him to bed away from his desk.
+ He likes to sleep on top of you listening to your heartbeat while you cradle his head.
+ He hates rainy days. Those are the only times where he doesn’t work. He locks himself in his room.
+ “Levi? Open up… I’m worried..”
+ You understand why but he has yet to open up about their deaths to you. You’re not upset with him though, when he’s ready, you’re ready.
+ Slapping his booty when he walks by.
+ “Did- did you just slap my ass?”
+ “Yes, I did. You could bounce a dime off that thing.”
+ also, BOOTY DRUMS. You always tap on his butt to a random tune because you say its good luck.
+ “Why the hell are you harassing my ass?”
+ “Oh Levi, its for good luck!”
+ Every time the corps goes on an expedition Levi gets anxious for your well being. He has an eye on you the whole time.
+ Everyone ships you two so fucking hard.

Crushes

Here, have a bit of some goofy Keith with a healthy amount of sheith, I know I needed it.



“We all had a crush on Keith,” says Hunk nonchalantly as they’re relaxing in the lounge, Keith being the only one absent.

Sitting beside his friend, Lance gasps.

“I did not!”

“Especially you, dude.”

On the ground, with a disassembled computer splayed out in front of her, Pidge snickers.

“It’s true,” she says without even looking at them.

“You weren’t even there when he was!”

“Maybe, but I was there for the months after, when everyone always made comments about him. Also, we shared sleeping quarters.”

Lance sputters, desperately searching for a rebuttal. His eyes fall on Shiro, on the other side of the room, reading… a book upside down? That guy really has all the talents.

“Shiro!” He exclaims, and they all startle as they turn to him. “Shiro was the one people had a crush on! So there!”

Hunk seems to consider this.

“Yeah, but… they’re different kind of crushes, you know? Both unattainable, but for very different reasons. Also, it doesn’t change anything.”

“Of course it changes things! You said /everyone/. Well, he didn’t.”

“I meant everyone in our year, Lance. As in, the ones who naturally came in contact with Keith?” Hunk rolls his eyes, looking very confident in his point.

“Also,” adds Pidge mischievously, “who’s to say he didn’t?”

Lance gapes, but before he can retort anything, Shiro straightens on the couch and faces them, speaking for the first time.

“I did not have a crush on Keith,” he says, looking extremely offended. Lance doesn’t even have the time to feel smug. “I was in love with him.”

Silence.

“Was? Shiro, are you breaking up with me?”

They turn towards the doorway where Keith is standing, leaning against the wall with a faked hurt look on his face. Shiro almost trips on his own feet in his haste to get up. 

“What? No! I-”

“It’s too late,” Keith shakes his head, the epitome of sadness. “There’s someone else that would treat me right, and now I know I have a chance.”

He walks over to the others, who are still frozen, skillfully evading Shiro’s grasping arms. He ignores his boyfriend’s whining, and kneels in front of the couch.

“Hunk,” he starts solemnly, “are you saying… you also had a crush on me?”

Hunk blinks, still stunned by the turn of events, and then blushes slightly. 

“Well I mean, it was hard not to have a crush on you man, you were so cool. You never talked to us, but we’d all kind of daydream about becoming friends with you, even the ones that were jealous jerks.”

The sincere answer knocks the fake seriousness out of Keith, and the red paladin is left wide-eyed and a little pink, left hand reaching towards his embarrassed friend. 

“Hunk, I…” he stops, and smiles a little. “Congratulations, you’re friends with me now.”

Hunk looks back at him, surprised, and then grins widely, taking a hold of Keith’s hand.

“Man, they’d all be jealous of me, now!”

“Nah,” Keith says, shaking his head. “They’d be jealous of me.”

“Aw, Keith…”

They stay like this for a moment, holding hands and smiling at each other, before they’re interrupted.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Shiro says, abruptly walking over and literally throwing Keith over his shoulder, who shouts in surprise. The black paladin immediately turns around and walks towards the door, then pauses and looks over his shoulder at Hunk. 

“See you in the training room later, paladin,” he says, eyes narrowed, and Hunk gulps.

“Shiro, stop it!” Keith says from his spot on Shiro’s back. “Hunk, it’s alright, I’m the one who trains with him. See you guys later!”

And with that, they’re gone.

After a few seconds, Lance scoots over closer to Hunk and jealously takes hold of his best friend’s arm. He’s still in shock, but at least capable of speech now.

“What the hell was that?”

Pidge, still holding pieces of tech on the ground, slowly shakes her head.
“I have no idea.”

They’re in bed, later, Shiro curled around Keith as close as he can get, clothes on the ground and blankets pooled at their waists. It’s warm, and peaceful, but he hasn’t been able to get it out of his head.

“Do I really not treat you right? Because I can change that, you know. Anything.”

Keith had almost been asleep, the warm and solid body at his back a comfortable presence, but he stirs at the feeling of Shiro’s lips moving against his neck. Silently, he brings up his hand, entwined with Shiro’s, and gently kisses each of his lover’s fingers, reveling in the hitched breath he hears behind him.

“Idiot,” he says softly, his eyes closed.

He can feel Shiro smile, humming happily, and it lulls him to sleep.

...
  • Them: Aren't you sometimes worried in the fact you haven't had a boyfriend or any love interest before?
  • me: oh, I get this a lot and i know not all people know about this but...*blushes* I'm OTPsexual.
  • Them: what kind of spectrum is that?
  • me: it means that I could only feel love when my otp goes all gay infront of me. but of course this shouldn't be confused with being in loved with one of the person in the otp, OTPsexual is about loving the OTP.
  • Them: ...
  • me: ...yeah i think I'm forever single.
Whenever my mother asks me why I don’t have a boyfriend yet, I whisper the words ‘not interested’ to her. And she thinks that I am not interested in getting myself a boyfriend and she gives me a look full of pride thinking that her daughter of almost 21 is more interested in making something good out of herself rather than have a boyfriend.
What she fails to understand is that I want a boyfriend just as much as any girl I know, someone who would love me and talk to me and care for me and allow me to do the same but when I say 'not interested’ I mean no one is interested in me, no one likes me.
—  Not Interested // JustScribbledWords
How to be the perfect boyfriend

Be attentive like Shimon:

So damn cute!

*watches with stars in the eyes*

Don’t you love it when your boyfriend takes notice of your feelings? *happy sigh*


Art by Yoshiaki Sukeno, “Sousei no Onmyouji”

  • <p> <b>INFP:</b> Thunder or lightning?<p/><b>INTP:</b> I like lightning because of the voltage output.<p/><b>INFP:</b> I like lightning because it's preeeeetttttyyyy, chaotic, powerful and destructive, but it's just a natural phenomenon. It doesn't mean to cause harm. It's like a t-rex that can't hug because it's got short arms<p/></p>

I’m laughing because my sister’s father-in-law just bet me that within 5 years some guy would come and sweep me off my feet and I’d have kids of my own and I just look over at my mom - who knows I’m gay and have a girlfriend - and look back at him like “You’re on.” We shook on it. Bitch is going down.