i was gonna go to bed but then i got to thinking about how howl probably made the worst puns after he made the contract with calcifer

“Howl, why on earth are you reading that book again?”
“I need to rekindle my love for it, Calcifer! Re-kindle!”

“Calcifer, I bought this suit because it reminded me of you.”
“Another suit?”
“Do you know why?”
“You know I cant wear suits, Howl.”
“Because its flame-boyant, Calcifer.”

“Hey Calcifer, do you know why I love you so much?”
“Is this another of your awful puns?”
“Because you stole my heart.”
“We made a contract, Howl. You gave it to me.”


Full Walk Through!:

A - “Wow it’s dark in here. You better find a light source to illuminate the situation quickly. After all SPEED IS KEY.”

B - “Ah. That’s much better! Anyway, introductions are essential! Your name which you of course know is SEAN MCLOUGHLIN but you more commonly go by JACKSEPTICEYE or just JACK-A-BOY. You’re really into COFFEE not that you necessarily need the extra energy and you’re a gaming YOUTUBER. You’ve got a penchant for WHACKY HAIR COLOURS as well as COLLECTING MEMORABILIA and LOVING YOUR FANS. What would you like to do. Now that you can see three feet in front of you. Not literally. You can only see two feet. You get me.”

C -

1) “It’s a mattress. You know. The soft part of a bed. The boyant bedding for the boudoir. You’re not entirely sure why you put it right next to a doorway instead of you know on an ACTUAL BED. Each to their own I suppose.”

2) “This is the door you ENTERED through. It’s a lovely door isn’t it? Well as lovely as a door can be. However as TANTILISING as that door looks you have important business to do INSIDE this room. ”

3) “It’s just a HUMBLE BOX. Where did it come from? Who knows? All YOU know is that this little fellow made it’s way to you! Lucky box!”

4) “Just the smallest of REMINDERS to keep on smiling. Come on you’ve got this. From here on out you’re going ALL THE WAY to fucking VICTORY TOWN. But for the purposes of this situation you’re staying within this room. VICTORY TOWN can wait for today.”

5) “The CLOSET of MYSTERY. It’s unknown what TREASURES lie beyond this varnished vault but CRAFTY WOODWORK be damned you will find out! I mean it IS your closet. It’s probably just FULL OF MERCHANDISE.”

6) “SEPTIC SAM makes his debut! Look at all the SEPTIC EYES you have. Alright two might not seem too impressive but your COLLECTION extends to almost a whole ROOM’s WORTH of SEPTIC SAM memorabilia! Come to think of it it does sound a little grotesque having countless infected OPTICS of the face dotted around your room. Someone get SAM some gosh darn EYEDROPS or something.”

7) “Wubba lubba dub dub it’s some RICK AND MORTY MERCH! Look at it! These plushies are adorable and you can’t help but fawn over them with THE GREATEST ADMIRATION. Alas no time for appreciating your felt-clad FRIENDS you have tasks waiting to be done! Make like a Me-Seeks and hop to it!”

8) “It’s your NAME! Or one of them at least. Each letter represents a WORD that when correctly guessed allows you access to the portal behind the towering bookcase. PSYCH. It’s just a bunch of FANCY LETTERS. Or are they?”

9) “Both of these FRAMED PIECES are so very lovely to look at. You just hope to SEVERAL DEITIES that no one ever realises that you have no real clue how to even go about APPRECIATING art. But you give it your best and that’s what truly counts. I mean it’s open to interperitation here.”

10) “YOU go search around the room some more. He’ll STAY and guard the shelf. For some reason just looking at this GENTLE GIANT brings a TOTALLY MACHO manly tear to your eye. Now go search while he sits on the shelf he’s doing NO FOLLOWING anytime soon.”

11) “Three whole FUNKOPOPS of yourself. Wow. It’d be easy to make a joke revolving around little JACK-A-BOYS breeding like rabbits but the LOVE and DETAIL put into these by your fans is so darn HEART-WARMING it seems like a terrible shame to poke fun at it. Let’s just BASK in the soulless gaze of these TINY EFFIGIES for a moment. ……. Moment over it’s time to keep going. You’re NEARLY DONE.”

12) “A GOLDEN AWARD in praise of your ever growing mass of FANS. Every time you pass this BUTTON you can’t help but look and see yourself and realise just how ADORED and BELOVED you are. You earned this SHINING SYMBOL of the highest praise by being LOVABLE and RELIABLE and the inspiration for MILLIONS of SEPTIC EYES around the world.”

13) “These drawers appear to be locked shut. Perhaps you need a KEY? Jiggling the handle a little more however seems to actually suggest they’re just for DECORATION. It’s the fake JEAN POCKET trauma all over again. Quickly. Find ANYTHING ELSE to tinker with for now.”

14) “BOBA FETT’S HELMET. An icon of a true badass with a DASHING choice of HEADGEAR. It would be an interesting ITEM to EQUIP should you desire however we’re getting near our GOAL and we don’t have time to DILLY DALLY!”

15) “Who even is this DOUCHE BAG? No really who is he? You’ve seen him TWICE in this room and yet you have NO IDEA who in the hey this FISHY INTRUDER is. Could it be linked to your ZODIAC sign? Could this be the INVASION of the FISHY FIENDS? Or is this just a SMALL SCALE INVASION? Either way he seems to be staring at you with his BIG OL’ EYES. Neither of which are SEPTIC. Rude.”

16) “And finally. A PILLOW. Yes your quest has come to an END. Confused? Don’t be! After a long hard day of LETS PLAYING and VIDEO EDITING it’s imperitive that you REST yourself in order to wake up tomorrow as BRIGHT and PERKY as always! Well that does it for the end of this ACT. We’re gonna leave it here. Thank you guys SO MUCH for following this. If you LIKED this then PUNCH the LIKE and REBLOG buttons in the face LIKE A BOSS!! And HIGH FIVES all around! THANK YOU guys and I will see ALL YOU DUDES in the next ACT!”

@therealjacksepticeye ‘s HiveSwap Let’s Play made me SO HAPPY I might cry, I just had to put all my last few hours of consciousness into this! <3

Tangled (Peter Parker x reader)

Prompt : hi! I was wondering if you could do one where Peter and the reader go to Disneyland (only for 1 or 2 days, because obvs Spiderman responsibilities and such) and reader is the hugest Disney nerd ever and Peter is secretly kind of a Disney nerd too? and like he thinks the reader is super cute when she’s fangirling over Disneyland and they just bond:) just like super fluffy? thanks! sorry I’m being so specific Peter and I can’t wait. Well, he’s acting like he doesn’t care but I can tell he’s excited. We arrive with the Avengers at ten in the morning to start the day. “Okay… how do we do this?” asks Steve. “Let’s get into groups so we can hit what we want because I do NOT want to walk around with Tony the whole day,” says Natasha; Clint nods in agreement, “True dat.” Peter links arms with me quickly and starts tugging me down Main St. “We will see you later! Text me if you need us!” he yells before running towards the castle. When I look back, my arm still linked with Peter’s, I see Tony and Steve yelling at each other. Giggling, I turn back around to follow Peter. We slow down once under the castle and he grins at me. “What?” I ask. “Nothing. It’s just…well… we are in Disneyland, (Y/N)! I’ve never been here before! It’s so… so….” he stumbles for the right words, “Magical?” you ask him with a giggle. “Yeah,” he says in awe, watching Snow White interact with a little kid. He is too cute to handle. “So, who’s your favourite character?” you ask him after walking around for a while. “Probably Mushu from Mulan. He’s so flamboyant and sassy. Or shall I say Flame-boyant,” he says, starting to crack up after telling the pun. You groan with amusement before spotting Rapunzel across the walkway. He sees her after a while and asks if you want to go to see her. You nod with a cheeky grin before trying to casually run over to her… which fails. You trip when you’re really close to her and feel yourself falling and brace yourself for impact, but nothing came. You look up to see Peter holding you up, grinning. “I guess you just fell for me, huh?” he jokes, chuckling. “Cute, Pete.” “I know I am,” he says, his smile widening even more. You shake your head gently before kissing his cheek and whispering in his ear, “thank you, Flynn Rider.” “Flynn Rider? Don’t you mean Prince Charming because I swept you off your feet?” “Nope”, you say with a smile like the cheshire cat, “Flynn Rider because you stole my heart.”

Originally posted by vannialeblohic

vampirezelda  asked:

Never have I ever set the kitchen or kitchen appliances on fire. 😏

Papyrus, Blueberry, Edge, Blackberry, and Crooks drink.  


“that was back when your cooking was flame-boyant.”  

Sans-2  Paps-2
Red-4  Edge-2
Blueberry-2  Stretch-2
Blackberry-2 Mutt-3
Axe-3 Crooks-1   

Bios ❤!

amiga parceira só se for solteira.

taca o piru no meu cu.

nem aí p você.

##### cerca pro seu cu doce ######

rebolando a raba na cara dos boy

antes solteira do q iludida

na ponta ela fica.

piranha também ama

para de cagar pela boca, krida.

aqui no baile bota elas p sentar.

foca mas n sufoca.

nunca disse q prestava, bjaum.

ninguém ta segurando essa novinha.

na faculdade de piranha já tenho diploma.

veneno de cobra é drink p nois.

+ amor o caralho!

me preparando p sentar na tua cara

nunca disse q era santa.

lá vem o politicamente correto.

espetacular sempre fui.

dedo na boca empino a bunda

lá vem a pisca pisca de arvore de natal

da quebrada mesmo

só queria umas pingas.

paz e amor o caralho aqui é putaria

sempre soube q era maravilhosa.

n nasci p ser normal

rola ou enrola

sem estresse.

só de olha p você já tenho nojo

enquanto se tá com azamiga seu namorado ta cmg

se for inteligente pode até enriquecer

ta olhando? nem ligo

vacilou perdeu

morro de ressaca, sim.

volta pro útero, nois só agradece.

 tumultuando a vida das vadia

mil e uma safadezas.

relaxa e goza.

prepara a rainha chegou.

iludindo como sempre.

deixa rolar os cacete, vai ou nada.

a vida é uma calcinha atolada no cu.

amor eu tenho é por batata frita

o bonde é o bicho.

meu amor não sou você que é made in China

Mais feliz que o Datena, transmitindo tiroteio ao vivo!

coração tá open bar!

Fully baked!

Last Friday I met with the Beit Din. That evening during Shabbat service my sponsoring rabbi said it was the hardest Beit Din he had ever seen/been part of/heard of. Like he almost stopped them to tell them to chill out. 

I walked into it not knowing the 2 other rabbis, not even knowing whom the third rabbi would be. I had expected it, being Reform, to be questions like what does Shabbat mean to me and what is my favorite holiday and why? How would someone visiting my home know it was a Jewish home? Maybe a curve ball of what is the Hebrew date today? 

I got questions along the lines of what is my relationship with God - do I believe in God? What makes that belief/relationship Jewish rather than agnostic? What is the parshat this week? Why is it important? Why is Joseph one of two people in the entire Torah called “righteous?”  They even wanted to know about my boyfriend and how he is Jewish. They wanted to know what books I am currently reading, what I plan to read, and what I see as “Jewish 201″ (aka more than intro to Judaism that is the conversion class.) How would someone interacting with me know I was Jewish? How would I be involved with the greater Jewish community, not just my synagogue? How do I know I could handle antisemitism? At the first pesach seder I lead, which Jewish person -living or dead - would I want to invite and why? How did I know - despite the nerves and such from my first Shabbat service that Judaism is right for me?

Luckily I was only stumped on the righteousness question and I felt ok with answering “I don’t know.” The answer, in case you are curious, is because he blindly trusted G-d. 

One of the amusing parts of the Beit Din was how we discussed how I have developed and also ping others “Jew-dar.” 

Frankly, I walked out of the room shaking and nearly hyperventilating. The mikvah attendant was really concerned about me. Even after I showered, and tried to center myself, I still was on edge that she offered to sing a neguna (wordless tune) to help relax me as I did my dip. 

The water IS more boyant than you realize until you try to go under water. Note to those with long hair - as you go under swipe your hair back so that it also is fully under and doesn’t float above making that dip unkosher. Also, even though it is kinda deep, it isn’t deep enough to do a somersault in - I tried and my feet ended up above water so I had to try again. But hey - I somersaulted in the water! It was silly and joyful. :) 

There was a big echo in the small room - wonderful acoustics! It was pretty awesome when I would hear the rabbis say amen after each of my prayers or when they started singing Siman Tov. 

After the final prayer I was told I can take as long as I want - the time was for me. (Similar to what I was told after the Beit Din before going into the pool.) I just floated in the water for a few minutes. It was so glorious, relaxing, and utterly amazing.

When I was ready, I got out of the pool and got myself presentable again. Once I was done, we did the paperwork (making the donation to the mikvah, giving the customary gifts to the two rabbis) then we went to the sanctuary. There I got to hold a Torah scroll and my rabbi gave me a priestly blessing, then one of the other rabbis gave his own blessing to me. 

Afterwards my mom, friend who came to support me (and was in the room during the Beit Din), and I met my boyfriend for a celebratory lunch. My mom had gotten me a lovely bunch of flowers also. 

Rabbi posted a pic on facebook. I was greeted by tons of hugs and congratulations that evening at Shabbat service. I could tell my rabbi was really proud because he mentioned the Beit din 4 times during service. 

The last thing I need to do is a small ceremony and being presented formally to the congregation soon. Which means I need to write a small thing. lol 

For a few days afterwards I felt a great sense of peace. I felt connected, like before there was a connection but it was hazy at one end, but now I feel a strong connection between myself, the earth/ground, and above. (I know, that wanders slightly into paganism imagery and verbiage. ) That sense of peace and connection is fading a bit the more time passes, but if I focus, that small ball of peace/joy/love is still there in my solar plexus.

It’s funny, I don’t feel different. But, as I stressed out about leading up to the Beit Din - I didn’t change much. Who I am hasn’t changed, I’ve just firmed some of my ideas and what is important to me and gained a new label (and family/community.) But now, for the rest of my life, I am Jewish. Just thinking that makes me smile and offers me a sense of peace and happiness. :)

Watch on

IN VIVO ft. Boyant - Moje leto

To srce balkansko i more jadransko , svima ću pričati da moje leto siii ♥