boy wearing crown

anonymous asked:

No hate just asking, why do u hate high school au tho, like do u hate it for ianthony only or you hate any high school in general

I hate high school alternate universes in general. Don’t get me wrong, there are some out that I really enjoy, but for the most part, they’re all the same. They’re almost all recycled plots and are so predictable that I can pretty much guess what’s going to happen in each chapter. I’m about to spoil almost every high school AU ever for you. You ready?

  1. Flower crown wearing boy/trans boy constantly bullied because of being trans/“too girly” falls in love with the popular bad boy and starts doing bad stuff just to please the bad boy while the bad boy starts to become “soft” all because of the boy who wears flower crowns? Why? Because flower crowns… Seriously, why? But OH NO! He got seen with the flower boy and is bullied and loses all his friends and popularity… whatever shall he do? He yells at flower boy for no reason and doesn’t want to see him anymore, but misses him so he apologizes and gives the middle finger to the haters cause he all of a sudden doesn’t care.

  2. Whimpy, gay boy being bullied because he’s gay falls in love with his bully and SHOCKER the bully was only bullying him because he liked him too and didn’t know how to express it. Same as the previous, he gets caught, loses reputation, loses boy, gets sad, gets the boy back, regains reputation because… happy ending?

  3. Mute music student has a crush on a football player. Football player and music student end up in the nurses’ office together and purposefully fake sick just to see each other. Same middle and ending as above except he gets kicked off the football team and is let back in after coming to terms with his sexuality because PLOT! Oh, and the mute kid finally speaks for no reason. Like?

  4. Shy artist falls in love with extroverted band kid, yadda yadda, same plot, boring characters, blah blah.

Part of the reason why most of the high school AUs are bad is because they’re written by high schoolers.

In high school, losing your reputation, friends, or anything like that is the WORST thing that could ever happen to you. So, they make that the climax of their stories when that’s… not really an issue to older people like me and it just comes off as anti-climatic and immature. Hell, give it two or three more years and none of that stuff will be an issue for our characters either. You see what I’m saying? I don’t like high school AUs because it’s how a young teen sees a love story, not how it would work in real life. In real life, they’d probably never date, talk, or anything because you’re so worried about fitting in during that time of your life that you’re going to pass up a lot of dating opportunities because you’re worried about what Jenny will say to her friends if she saw you with that guy/girl. None of this flower crown, nurse’s office stuff. Plus, the grammar and plot pacing are usually always atrocious which just makes it even harder to read.

To prove this point even more, the only high school AUs I really liked were written by college students, young adults, or even adults in their 30′s. If you think losing your reputation and getting a rumor spread around about you is bad, wait until you have $30,000+ in student debt and surrounded with 8-10 page assignments while also deciding whether to sleep or to have somewhat of a social life. Also, BILLS. Lots and lots of BILLS. You’ll miss Jenny then!

Anyways, that’s why I don’t like High School AUs. They’re immature ideas as to how romance works and it’s just not appealing to me anymore. Plus, I hate recycled plots and bad grammar. That plays a large part in it as well.

Raphael is hella punk, Simon hella pastel and they are both very much in love.

At first I wondered why Vax wasn’t attempting to hold Keyleth back (or at least calm her down) during that conversation with Raishon.

And then I remember that Vax“my girlfriend could kick my ass and i’d proably thank her”ildan secretly thinks Keyleth harnessing the power and rage to topple entire nations is the hottest thing in the world.

Actual conversation I just had with my mother...

Mom: I’m going to the mall, do you need anything?
Me: Nah I’m good. Oh wait, while you’re there, do you mind checking Claire’s and Icing to see if they have any yellow flower crowns?
Mom: Yellow flower crowns?
Me: Yeah, I need three of them for when I meet Dan and Phil in a couple weeks.
Mom: Why do you need them?
Me: Cause that’s what I want them to wear when I take my picture with them.
Mom: You’re going to make two grown men wear flower crowns?
Me: Hell yeah I am.
Mom: Fine, I’ll see what I can find.


Pairing: Phan, duh

Warnings: Really none, cursing I guess, Fluff, like, Jesus

Word Count: 2,222

Summary: (Punk!Phil and Pastel!Dan)

Dan and Phil were enemies, everyone knew that. 

Everyone also knew that Phil Lester was wildly in love with Dan Howell. 


Phil loved him. And the entire school knew it. He could’ve screamed it from the rooftops, and the entire city wouldn’t have been surprised. In fact, most were okay with it.

Except for Phil.

Phil, the boy with dark hair and piercings, liking the boy wearing flower crowns in a mess of fluffy brown hair.

No. Phil couldn’t have a crush on a guy, nonetheless one that wore pastel jumpers and lavender jeans.

So, when the two were paired up in Biology together, the tenseness in the air held like fog.

“Dan and Phil,” Mrs Sentenn called from the front of the class. Phil’s best friend, PJ, turned his head slightly, smirking, looking back at Phil from the desk in front of his. Phil thumped the back of his head, scowling. A couple others did the same, looking at either Dan or Phil. She continued calling out couples.

“Dean, and Suzy. PJ, and Sophie-“ PJ grinned, and glanced at Sophie, who smiled back- “Ivy, and Michael, and Luke, with Gabriel. Okay.” She said, clapping her hands. “Get to work. Start forming ideas. Get those gears cranking.” She made a twisting motion with her hand next to her head, twisting as if her brain were a Jack in the Box. “Go.”

Seats screeched on the floor as students rushed to partners, and Phil made sure to stand up slowly, dragging his feet in protest. He didn’t want to do this, he didn’t want to see warm brown eyes with thick lashes and rosy cheeks against golden skin. He didn’t want to see light pink jumpers and white converses, and mint flower crowns.

Phil looked up, glancing at the boy in front of him. He was smirking. Phil clenched his jaw.

And the worst thing was, Dan knew it. Dan knew that he loved the way that he talks, his smile, the way his eyes seem to sparkle when he laughs.

Phil slammed his books down at the desk beside him, since the desks were lined up in pairs, and sat down. He looked up at Dan challengingly, anger in his eyes. He was done with this little boy with flowers in his hair controlling his emotions.

“What’s the damn project on?” Phil scowled, knowing that Dan paid attention in class. The teacher’s pet.

“Wow, angry much?” Dan mumbled, opening his binder to grab a sheet of paper to take notes on.

“Just answer the question.”

“We have to go to a place where there’s a lot of flowers, take some photos, pick them so we can label them, and put them in a presentation. Okay?”

Phil didn’t answer. He just glared at his binder, annoyed. He could already feel his stomach exploding into butterflies at the way that Dan’s hair was slightly wavy since he had just gotten back from Gym, and the way that he was staring right at Phil’s face, analyzing it with a smirk.

“Where should we meet?” Phil asked. He just wanted this to get over with, even if they had two weeks to do it. The butterflies were already unbearable.

“There’s a Botanical Garden a bit from my house. We could meet at mine on Saturday, as long as you bring the camera.”


Another reason why the whole crush situation was horrible- they lived a couple houses away. Different neighborhood, but the suburbs in their area were tight and had very little room. Dan thought it was cozy. Phil thought it was claustrophobic.


A couple days later, Phil found himself stood at Dan’s door, his mother’s camera clutched tightly in his hands. But he couldn’t bring himself to knock, even if he concentrated. The idea of seeing dewy cheeks and eyes that shimmered like stars made him feel sick. He could barely handle the idea of Dan, what was he going to do face to face? At school, it was different. There were people there, they were forced to go. But alone? It just seems intimate, and far too intense for Phil.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and nervously twisted his earring. They were tiny black roses today, and he couldn’t get the one black flower crown Dan would wear on a blue moon off his mind. Cursing internally, he knocked.

He heard a muffled, “Just a minute!” From behind the wood, shortly followed by the door opening and revealing Dan straightening his sweater, an awkward half-smile on his lips. He was wearing a soft yellow sweater over grey jeans, white converse, and with an internal scream, a sunshine-y flower crown over extremely curly brown hair.

“My straightener broke,” Dan shrugged, and gestured to the thing clutched tightly in Phil’s hands. “Nice camera.”

It was expensive, Phil guessed, but his Mom was a photographer, so he knew how to use it fairly well.

“Thanks,” Phil responded, and started to walk down the porch steps. They were creaky and fading white that was distinctly suburban.

The walk to the gardens was awkward. They were definitely out of place, Dan with his pastels and curls, Phil with his piercings, and, today, a Muse jumper. The conversation was nonexistent. Their shoulders would occasionally bump, leaving Phil with butterflies in his stomach. He was thankful when they finally arrived at the gardens, cursing himself for acting like a schoolgirl.

“Uh,” Dan said, yanking a folded-up sheet out of his back pocket, “The first flower that we need… hydrangeas. Ooh, there’s some over there,”

Phil hated every second of it. He hated the way that they talked was awkward and recited, as if they were in some shitty school play. He hated the way that Dan would give him that damn smirk and his stomach would knot five times over. He hated the way that Dan would occasionally walk into him while trying to get to a certain bush of flowers, leaving Phil flustered and stumbling. He hated the way that he had fallen for Dan Howell.


Unfortunately for Phil, they were unable to finish an eighth of the Flora project. He soon realized that this might even take several days of meeting up. His stomach churned at the thought.

Days passed, and they soon found a rhythm of Phil taking the photos, Dan snipping the flowers into a bag. On their third day on the project, Phil found that Dan seemed a bit more reserved than normal, avoiding eye contact, no smirking, no snide comments. Phil was just snapping a quick photo of some tulips and was about to move onto the daffodils before Dan whispered,

“It doesn’t have to be this way, you know.”

Phil blinked. “What?”

“Nothing,” Dan mumbled, attempting to snip some Honeysuckles off of a branch.

“What?” Phil repeated.

“I said, nothing,”

“No, I heard you. What do you mean, it didn’t have to be like this?”

Dan sighed, giving up on an incredibly strong honeysuckle branch and standing up straight.

“I meant that we didn’t have to act like the world’s going to end if we just talk. You know? Why does it have to be awkward?” He stared at the bush all the way though saying this, not making eye contact. Phil could see out of the corner of his eye that Dan had snagged a lip between his teeth.

“Okay,” Phil started, “then what should we say?”

“How did you get that camera?”

Phil shrugged. “Mum’s a photographer,”

“Will you teach me how to use it?”


Turns out, Dan’s a pretty fair photographer. He got the hang of the camera fairly quick, and he had what Phil’s mum would call an “Artist’s Eye”. He understood shadows and light. He even took a few that surprised Phil; They were even better than Mum’s.

But Phil still had that itching feeling in the back of his brain. He still had that little voice that whispered how soft Dan’s lips would feel on his own, how his hands would fit perfectly in his. Phil ignored it, and just continued to speak to Dan about how lighting should be used.

“So, it’s usually a lot better to have equipment with you, but it’s pretty nice out today. I doubt you’ll want a softbox. People rarely use those outside. No use for flash, either,”

“Okay,” Dan mumbled, biting his lip. Phil realized that he did that often, when he concentrated, when he was nervous. Right now, they were by a little pond that connected to the gardens, shadowed by the thick leaves of enormous trees and surrounded by flowerbeds. The air was sweet there, and smelled of honey and moist dirt and roses. In fact, there were a couple bushes of roses by the bench they were sitting at together, and Phil really did want to pluck one and give it to Dan, just like they did in the movies.

In his head, Phil had a whole world set up, where the two were married and had an apartment together, maybe in London, but he really didn’t care; just as long as he had Dan. In fact, he didn’t care if they were married, maybe they were happy with just dating. He felt like that should bother him, the fact that he had expanded this universe of his, with just him and Dan. But it didn’t. And that was the worst part.

Dan really was perfect. He had those soft brown eyes that didn’t have gold in them, because they just didn’t need it. They were already perfect as it is, where they look orange during sunsets and almost black under the stars; but when the moon shines on them, they are a kaleidoscope of amber and onyx and chestnut.

Dan’s cheeks were always rosy and just soft, and his lips were always chapped but they somehow seemed soft too. If Phil could describe Dan in one word, it would be “Soft”. His sweaters were soft, his face was soft, his hair was soft, his eyes were soft, he was soft.

For the past couple days, the two had been getting along pretty well, even acting as friends. Which was different for Phil, and he would sometimes catch himself sending Dan a glare out of habit.

Phil sighed, standing up from the bench, stretching his legs. He grabbed the pair of scissors that they had brought to cut the flowers’ stems with and started to a large bush of red roses. They were his favorite, and he remembered his mother always having a bouquet of them on the kitchen table when he was little. He would pick them from a small garden that they used to have; Maybe he’d pick her some, for old times’ sake. He had just started to snip a couple from the bush before he heard a loud click behind him.

Phil started, nearly dropping the scissors, turning around to face a smiling Dan pulling the camera down from his eye to glance at the screen.

“Did you just take a photo of me?”

“You looked cute,” Dan replied, with no amount of shame in his voice.


“Yeah, dumbass. You looked cute,”

Phil blushed, sighing, and turned back around to continue to cut some flowers. “You do look cute, to be honest,”

“What the Hell, Howell?”

“Shut up, Lester. I’m trying to talk.”

Phil gestured for him to continue, while he cut some more roses.

“So, uh. Jesus. How do I even say this? Damn it, I like you,” Dan said it so quickly, almost as if he were scared someone would stop him halfway through.

“Yeah, sure. I’m not in the mood to mess around,”

“Phil, I’m serious,” Dan moved to stand between Phil and the rose bush. “I like you, like, a lot. Jesus. Just, I’ve liked you for forever. Since, what, third year?”

“Shut up, Howell. This isn’t funny.”

“It’s true, you fucking idiot! I like you! I like the way you smile! I like the way that your eyes can’t make up their mind! I like the way that you stare at me in class, when you think I can’t notice-”

“Shut up,” Phil mumbled, staring at his feet. “Shut the fuck up. Why the hell didn’t you tell me earlier, you already knew…”

There was a pause. Phil could feel Dan’s breath, right on his forehead. It smelled like sugar.

“I wasn’t sure myself,”


Another pause. Phil glanced up at Dan, and he saw that he had his eyes closed.

“Can I just kiss you now?” Dan whispered. Phil could still feel his breath.

“Shut up,” Phil mumbled, closing the space between them.


A couple years later, in a small dorm, Dan and Phil were asleep in each others’ arms, the soft thumping of their neighbor’s music the only noise in the silence. Their arms wrapped tightly around the other, legs intertwined. A posh-looking camera sat on the small nightstand beside them. Dan’s eyes fluttered open, before a lazy smile spread across his lips, and he laid a soft kiss across his boyfriend’s temple and reaching up to grab the camera, careful not to wake up the other boy. Bringing it down, he pressed it to his eye, and a loud click surrounded the two, right as a flash brightened the small room.

“Did you just take a photo of me?” Phil mumbled, burrowing deeper into Dan’s chest.

“You looked cute.”

A smile spread across Phil’s face.

I wanna be like one of those super masculine guys who’s like super muscular and works out and has tattoos and shit and is the type of guy that people are surprised to find out likes dudes but I also wanna be a really cute and soft feminine boy who wears flower crowns and big fluffy sweaters and likes to do makeup occasionally and wear floral prints and be pretty