dysphoria will trick you into believing that there is a large bump but there isn’t
your chest is flat
one binder is enough, never use more than one binder to bind your chest
if you really do believe that there is a bump and it is causing you distress, you may need to buy a new binder because washing/drying incorrectly and prolonged use can cause the binder to lose it’s purpose
100% of the time your binder is fine though and it is just your mind telling you different
if you see the slightest bump, you will think it is 10x larger and worse than it actually is, but it isn’t
dysphoria skews your image by heightening your sex characteristics
no one will notice what you are dysphoric about because often there is nothing to notice, dysphoria is just making you self conscious and distressed over parts that people would not take notice of
dysphoria is not your fault. you are not an inconvenience, crazy or being annoying for having dysphoria. it is a condition and you deserve help.
you may think your legs are super feminine, but they actually appear masculine in those straight jeans. no one notices.
you may have a high pitched voice, but so do many guys. there are cis men who actually sound like women and i know it causes distress, but you can deepen it.
you may have a baby face, but so do other cis men. they’ll just think you look young for your age.
- You wake up. You lay in bed with that special beautiful person by your side, and you hold them against you, skin tight. You are shirtless, flat and comfortable with your body. You couldn’t be a happier person than you are right now.
- You wake up and put a shirt on, only a shirt. You haven’t owned a binder for many years now. You no longer have to layer yourself. You feel free.
- You can now wear those clothes you really liked in the shop. You bought them; they fit and suit you perfectly. No more baggy, ugly clothes.
- You look in the mirror and see your sharp jaw line, facial hair and adam’s apple. Your eyebrows are thick and your hairline is masculine. You smile, because you finally love and feel comfortable with the way you look. You feel attractive.
- You are walking down the street and the warm breeze hits your chest from underneath your shirt. You can feel the wind, it gives you shivers.
- You can stand up straight, run, swim and hike. You are no longer in pain. You enjoy being able to use your body and exercise to its potential.
- You can sleep over at another person’s house, hug, dance and cuddle without worrying about your binder.
- You speak in front of your family, friends and peers; your voice is deep and mellow, you feel confident. You are no longer afraid to speak, nowadays people can’t shut you up!
- Your family sends you birthday cards: “Son!” / “Brother!” / “Uncle!” / “Father!” - They accept you for who you are.
- You look down and touch your chest. You no longer find your body unnatural or misplaced. It is now what it was always meant to be.
- You use the men’s toilets and locker room. You no longer feel scared or paranoid, it’s just a toilet/locker room. It’s natural.
- You look at your birth certificate, ID and passport, it has “M” next to sex.
- The elderly neighbour asks, “How are you, son?”
- The shop keeper asks, “Would you like a bag with that, sir?”
- Your peers all refer to you as “He” and “Him”
Keep holding on. Transition is a slow and painful process, but you will see these things happen to you. Maybe not now, but they will come, and that is why you need to stay strong and keep pushing forward. You deserve happiness and to love your body, and you will as long as you keep going. Soon, I promise.
so me and my best pal were discussing how hard it is to find m/m fic by mlm so we thought that we could create a tag for it on ao3. we thought that if mlm writing m/m fic start tagging it as “mlm author” it would make it easier to find and search for.
Shout out to my fellow petite trans brothers out here
To the trans guys who are so thin their binder will NEVER work to sculpt “pecs” for them.
To the trans guys who go to try on XS clothing sizes and still end up never having clothes that fit snugly enough.
To trans guys who have to custom order men’s jeans because they rarely carry a size small enough for them, or to trans guys who just wear “women’s” jeans since it’s easier.
To trans guys who can eat all the “right” foods and do all of the specific exercises and still just… don’t ever beef up in the right ways because it’s not what their body is willing to do.
To trans guys who are so small that even other afab people laugh when comparing the size of their hands or their shoe size to yours.
To trans guys that have height dysphoria worse than anything else sometimes.
To trans guys who know they’ll still be small/short even after starting T, and just have to learn how to cope with it.
To trans guys with a metabolism too high to be anything other than skinny.
To trans guys who don’t want to have the image of a soft, skinny, “smol” trans boy but always end up lumped in that category anyways.
To trans guys who get called ‘adorable’ in anything short of a leather jacket with bloodied knuckles.
To trans guys who do fit a softer stereotypical image and don’t mind that! Who embrace flower crowns and pastel sweaters and feel like they’re trans the “wrong” way!
To trans guys who can wear all the passing-guidebook clothing, change their gait, and deepen their voices and still get misgendered.
You’re all awesome and even other trans guys sleep on y’all but you’re just as much of a man as the 6′0″ well muscled guys you always see people praising. You’re going to find a way to feel comfortable with your presentation some day, I promise. Whether that means starting HRT, getting surgeries, learning to self love, or a mix of any of these! You’re going to be happy with yourself some day, even if it takes a little bit of work. Hang in there.