I don't normally post things like this, but I'm mad and this needs to be said.
Does anyone else find it really fucked up that women cannot do anything without someone finding a way to sexualise it or attach it to sex?
Let me explain.
Everything for a woman is sexualised, everything we say, do, wear or enjoy is sexualised.
The clothes we wear aren’t just clothes, but they represent sex.
Young girls are being told to cover bra straps, when young boys are still allowed to show their boxers. Young girls are told not to wear skirts or swimsuits around uncles or grown men because its ‘not right’ when those men shouldn’t be seeing anything sexual in a child, yet young boys aren’t told not to go topless.
Your skirt length isn’t personal preference anymore, oh no. Its a measure of your sexuality or how sexy you are. So is the type of blouse you wear or how tight or well fitting your trousers are or how high your heels. Because as a women, we don’t get to say which of our clothes we consider sexy and which we consider clothes we can just wear, its already predetermined and taught to us what is and what isn’t.
Your underwear is sexualised even when it shouldn’t be. If a woman buys a thong or something made of lace or anything considered ‘sexy’, theres no way its because she likes it or because its comfortable, but its because she wants to look sexy, or because she’s a slut or its for her boyfriend/husband. If the lace of a pair of knickers shows above her jeans its ‘cheeky’ or ‘teasing’, but no one batts and eyelid if a guy wants to buy himself nice fitting good quality underwear, if the waist band is seen its not ‘teasing’. All womens underwear is some how marketed buy saying it makes you look sexier, not that its just comfortable or good quality, its sexy.
When it comes to compliments you have to deal with them all related back to how attractive you are.
“I love intelligent women, its sexy” - is what is behind most compliments that women hear about their intelligence. If you’re complimenting a woman on her intellect, based on the fact its sexy or attractive rather than you actually think she’s intelligent and admire the intelligence for what it is, you’re not complimenting her intellect, you’re sexualising her.
When it comes to hobbies or interests they get sexualised too.
I ride a motorbike, I have to deal with people saying that they think its cool that I ride because women on bikes are sexy, because they have the image of me in skin tight leather and my ass sticking out and my boobs resting on the tank while I’m in heels with the wind blowing my hair.
They think its cool because they think its sexy, not because motorbikes are cool and its nice to see women making a hobby that predominately male more diverse.
If you like to dance, people immediately think about your body, they compliment what you can do based on the fact that its sexy, when you think of women dancing you think of either tight fitting outfits in a club, dancing dirty on the dance floor, or a posh elegant woman who looks sexy in her evening gown.
If you enjoy being a housewife, or cooking lots, or cleaning even that can be sexualised as being the perfect housewife who serves her husband, because its sexy for a woman to ‘know her place’.
Makeup is purely marketed by sex. Makeup is never advertised for women to buy it because they enjoy using it, we’re told makeup makes us SEXY. makeup is what we’re told we put on so the world thinks we look sexy when in truth, most of us wear it because we like how it looks or makes us feel, not for the thoughts or opinions of other people.
I can’t leave the house without being sexualised for being a woman. regardless of how I’m dressed or how I look or how I act, I have random blokes in the street shouting out at me or harassing me by telling me that I’m sexy, or that I have the perfect lips to give them a blow job, or yelling something else sexually explicit at me. I am sexualised just for being a woman.
I don’t get to choose when to be sexy, because thats decided for me wether I like it or not.
Theres nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexy, or look sexy, or do stuff because it is sexy. but the fact is, as women, we don’t often get to choose what we want to be sexy, because we as a gender as automatically sexualised, we don’t get to choose if the skirt we are wearing is sexy or not to us, we’re just told it is or made to feel like it is, regardless of our feelings on it.
we don’t get to enjoy things just the way they are, as hobbies or activities or clothes or doing something, because theres always someone who will turn it into something sexual when its not.
women have a right to feel sexy when they want to, to sexualise themselves if thats their choosing. but its THEIR choice. NOT the choice of others around her who decide when something she’s doing is sexy or not.
I don’t normally post things like this, but I’m so tired of people assuming that things I wear or do are purely sexual. Its like because I’m a woman they can’t see why else I would do it if it wasn’t sexy, or hot or appealing to the genders that Im attracted to. I feel like women don’t get to control their sexuality anymore because whats sexual is already decided for us, we’re taught from an early age that normal things are sexual, our entire lives we’re marketed things to make us ‘sexy’ and its wrong.
Sexuality is something individual to every person, regardless of gender and we live in a world where thats more and more understood each day, but still, despite this, women still have to battle constant sexualisation of normal things.
(Im not saying men don’t suffer from being sexualised, Im well aware that they are and they don’t deserve it either, but I’m not a man. So I’m writing this talking about women, for women. If you’re going to leave comments about “but men…” please just write your own post about what they face, because its equally important and deserves a post of its own, rather than being some foot note at the bottom of this)