boxed drinks

good things about the adventure zone

-when griffin scream laughs
-when they’re like “do i need to do a check” and griffin is like “no you’re goo-” and they’re like “i got an 18” and griffin is like “OH SHIT YOU JUST DO IT SO GOOD. ONE HAND NO LEGS.”
-when clint makes a dick joke and they boys are like “EW NO GOD NO” and he’s like “they did it!!!” and the boys are like “YOURE MY DAD”
-when travis tears up about magnus’s backstory and/or love of dogs
-“and then you all died oh nooo well that’s the end see ya everybody- no i’m kidding”
-“you and the box both drink the poison and you’re dead and the box is dead and you’re both dead. bye.”
-“ango”
-garfield
-fuck what’s his name. the coin guy. i love him.

  • *trying to open the locked box*
  • Justin: Can he use a dexterity check?
  • Griffin: *bewildered and incredulous* To get- Okay. Yes. Use a dexterity check.
  • Travis: I rolled a...6
  • Griffin: Okay, with your dexterity check you throw the box into the air and try to dodge it as it falls. And with a six you FAIL.
  • Travis: Okay, let me try a strength check.
  • Griffin: Okay.
  • Travis: that's a...15.
  • Griffin: Okay, you lift that box up and you lift it really high and you lifted it really fast with your super super big muscles.
  • Travis: Okay let me try constitution.
  • Griffin: Okay!
  • Travis: ...18
  • Griffin: Okay, you and the box both drink POISON! And you survive but the box has died.
Drive Safely (Jeff Atkins x Reader)

Originally posted by wkom

A/N. JEFF DESERVES BETTER! And because of this, and because I am trash, I rewrote the ending of episode 9 - Clay doesn’t leave, Hannah and Sheri don’t knock over the stop sign, and everyone is safe. I hope you guys like it, and I am more than willing to take requests. Feel free to message me guys. Let’s cry together.

WORD COUNT: 3,420

Alright, enjoy!


The music was blasting, the beer was flowing, and Jessica and Justin were on the verge of procreating on the couch. (Y/n) rolled her eyes at the two sophomores and squeezed through the crowd, balancing the two drinks in her hands as she weaved around the drunk teenagers. She finally made it outside, sucking in a breath of the cooling autumn air and sighing. She was pretty sure Monty had brushed up against her ass. Horny asshole.

She looked around the far less populated, but still crowded, front yard, picking out her boyfriend from the way his poofy hair stood out above everyone else. He was talking to Clay, and as she approached she saw him roll his eyes violently, his whole body swaying with the force of it.

Damn Jensen, she thought with a laugh, you’re gonna break my boyfriend of you and Hannah don’t bang soon.

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2016 was Unfortunate: A Dialogue
  • 2016: *David Bowie dies*
  • Everyone: 😱
  • 2016: *Harper Lee, Muhammad Ali, and Prince die*
  • Everyone: 😱 😱 😱
  • 2016: *election from hell*
  • Everyone: 😱
  • 2016: *election results from hell*
  • Everyone: 😱
  • Everyone: Almost done, what else could go wrong
  • 2016: *George Michael dies*
  • Everyone: 😱
  • Everyone: Well, surely nothing else bad can happen
  • 2016: Hold my drink
  • 2016: *Carrie Fisher dies*
“Flat out” -h.s. Part 2

Part 1

—–

—–

Waking up the morning of your birthday, you tried to keep your nerves in check. You expected pancakes and coffee in the least, but nothing too fancy. Instead, you found a quiet flat thanks to a very still asleep Harry. You didn’t blame him for that though, considering you had a pretty early class anyway. Who would want to get up at 6:30am willingly? 

So you made your own coffee and dressed for school. You wouldn’t be on campus much today anyway, but more in the courthouse. Your professor was working a case, a very high profile case, and you had been asked to be his consulting student. You were very excited about it, but due to the nature of the case and the amount of thugs you were sure you’d encounter, you’d yet to tell Harry about it. He could get protective of this kind of thing, and you didn’t want to have to worry about his feelings and the case at the same time. 

Harry was still asleep when you left, smoothing out your dress as you heels clicked down the hall on the way to the elevator. You’d get a ‘Happy Birthday’ text, you were sure. That at the very least. 

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Unexpected

Word Count: 1600 ish

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: The reader finds out that she’s pregnant and has to find a way to tell Sam.

Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy. Brief mention of depression (like, literally one sentence). Angst. I think that’s all, but forgive me if it’s not.

A/N: Yes, I know that this is quite a common trope, but I just couldn’t help myself :) Enjoy my rendition of Sam finding out that you’re pregnant!

***

It was hard to put into words how you had felt for the past few weeks. Extreme fatigue and nausea had been keeping you sidelined from hunting for too long now. You felt off, almost as if there was something that was completely changed within you.

Of course Sam and Dean picked up on your behavior change. After being their roommates and hunting partners for almost three years now, they were used to your normal and abnormal mannerisms. Dean never vocalized it to you, but he thought you were experiencing side effects of depression. You never ruled that out - after all of the horrors you had seen, you were sure that it was a possibility.

Sam on the other hand, was very vocal about his thoughts that you were physically sick. He had seen you at your rock-bottom worst, and he thought that this time it was different.

The relationship you had with Dean was brotherly. You teased one another, fought one another, but ultimately, loved each other unconditionally. He was family to you.

In contrast to Dean, Sam was not so brotherly. You felt a spark when you were around Sam - you had never felt so loved when Sam was around. The way he would pull you in for an embrace kiss the top of your head was more emotionally charged than just a friend would do.

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Crazy Ivanka Trump Lady

So, for a bit of backstory, I’m a ladies department associate/ cashier at a store that sells discounted high-end products. For example, if Michael Kors released a shirt last season, we can sell it this season for half the price. Because of this, we get a lot of people who come in thinking that they’re affluent when, in reality, they aren’t, which leads to a bit of a superiority complex/ attitude problem with most customers. Our store sells (well, right now struggles to sell) Ivanka Trump’s clothing line. Due to recent political events, her line is not selling very well at all. Due to the lack of sales, new shipments of her clothes are very few and far between and what we do have is mostly on clearance, diminishing the size of her section quite drastically. The other day the store was quite busy and I was working the register when a middle aged lady with botox (she looked like she wanted to be part of a yacht club so bad) came to my register. CL will be crazy lady and I will be Me (obviously)

Me: Hi there! how are you doing today Ma'am? Are you signed up with our rewards ca-

Before I could even finish my sentence the lady slammed down a whole box of drinking glasses, making a loud crash.

CL: So. I heard a rumor.

Me: Um, what about?

At this point CL is slamming things down onto my counter between each word

CL: That *smash* your *smash* store *smash* is *smash* getting rid of Ivanka Trump *extra smash* And i do not APPRECIATE MY STORES MAKING MY POLITICAL DECISIONS FOR ME. IS THIS TRUE? IS THIS TRUE?

Me: (a little afraid and taken aback at this point) No ma'am, there has been no official decision to drop her line and her clothes are still on the sales floor.

CL: Are you SURE? Because i heard on the NEWS that YOU dropped her line! YOU PEOPLE THINKING YOU CAN RUN EVERYTHING WITH YOU BACKWARDS POLITICAL VIEWS

At this point she was getting in my face and pointing her finger at me. Other customers were backing away, obviously uncomfortable. Also, it should be noted that I had said nothing political at all.

Me: Yes, I am absolutely sure. I work in the ladies department and I see her clothing there everyday.

CL: I don’t care.Go get a manager to tell me for sure.

The only available manager, a hispanic woman with an accent, was at a nearby register helping out another cashier with an override.

Me: notions to manager When she’s finished up over there, I’ll have her come over to speak with you.

CL: takes one look at manager No. I don’t want to speak to her, get someone else.

Me: I’m sorry, she’s the only manager here at the moment.

CL: Starts getting loud again about how unhelpful I am and “damn backwards politics”

Finally, I’m getting fed up so I cut her off mid-tirade

Me: Excuse me! I know FOR SURE that, as of now, we are not dropping that clothing line. Neither I, or any managers here, can tell you what future decisions corporate will make. I am just a cashier. Also, are you, by any chance, thinking of (insert store that is well-known for dropping Ivanka trump here)?

CL: looking sheepish Oh… uh, well I’m not shopping with them anymore! So uh.. can you ring this stuff up for me?

Me: fake smile Of course, ma'am, I’d love to.

She was cold and rude to me the entire transaction, even commenting on how I should have just “actually helped her” sooner and a few more jabs about “you people.” After that, she was on her way, hopefully to never be seen again. This is just one story of many, but it was the only customer to date that physically scared other customers away. I need a raise so bad.