literally every single time I’m faced with an awkward silence lasting for more than 0.7 seconds I will burst into Disney songs, and 90% of the time that song is the shoobeedoo-zoobadoop song from Tarzan where they just fucking break shit and that’s the story of why I don’t have friends.
I have decided that this thanksgiving will not be a game of “how drunk can I get without my family noticing” but rather a game of YOU FUCKERS ARE GOING TO ASK ME ABOUT MY LIFE AND I’M GOING TO GET PLASTERED BECAUSE NOPE FUCK THAT.
When I get overwhelmed I don’t even take a step back and look at how I could have prevented getting into this situation, I take a step back and realize “wow I was not fucking drunk enough for this past chapter, good game”
Today I made a blanket fort and colored a picture of food using crayons with my girlfriend. Now I’m taking shots of whiskey and playing pokemon in said blanket fort while naming all of my party after different words for butt.