bouncing balloon

On balloons.

There’s a post going around that advocates giving clowns only real helium balloons. I’m not going to link to that post, because I don’t want the OP getting any hate. The balloon misconception is SUCH a common one I don’t think any one of us can say we didn’t fall prey to it at one point or another. But, the fact of the matter is, helium balloons are not good enrichment for clowns.

Firstly, they’re not sustainable. Helium is a rapidly depleting resource. Secondly, clowns like balloons because they mistake them for their eggs. A clown bouncing a balloon around on a string is taking care of its ‘baby.’ Clown eggs are brightly colored spheres that float around at shoulder-height, if healthy, and are transported by the parent by means of a filament. Balloons mimic these incredibly well. That is why clowns find balloons on the ground so distressing - a downed egg contains a sick embryo. The despair they experience when one floats away is that of child loss, and I’m sure you can imagine why they’re so distressed when one pops. That’s why malevolent breeds are predisposed to the act!
All balloons “die”. They cannot hatch. Every experience a clown has with a balloon, however happy at the outset, ends in tragedy. They are not good enrichment items, no matter how busy they keep a clown.

So what are some alternatives? If you have two or more clowns of any social breed, then toys like custard pies, water squirters, and air horns make excellent entertainment. Note: Most common breeds are social. If you are keeping a social breed singularly, you MUST play with it for several hours a day at the bare minimum. While these breeds tend to adore balloons the most, the repeat psychological trauma they suffer because of them is not worth the easy out.
If you keep a breed that prefers a solitary existence, they will get the most out of things like juggling supplies and balance balls. Make sure they have a safe space to play with these in when you aren’t home to supervise.
All breeds need human interaction. A few times a week you need to show your clown you appreciate it - that’s the best enrichment of all. Remember that some methods of training result in ‘unusual’ reactions to the four quadrants - most commonly, +P will become “rewarding” - and some performance breeds innately make that connection, so research the right way to reward your clown.

On a final note, DO NOT GIVE MIMES BALLOONS. Look on any mime forum and you’ll see countless threads with titles like “Help! My mime won’t play with toys!” Yeah, dipshit, THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND TOYS. All members of the mime group are highly specialized working breeds geared towards imagination play. They are very intelligent, deeply driven to perform their unique rituals, and not much else. They need to do their original job to be happy. They need to put on shows. If you cannot provide the stimulation of a fully public performance at least once a week for your mime, and cannot provide regular training sessions, either, do not get a mime. Consider a fool instead. A lot of people brush off fools as beginner breeds, too rambunctious and talkative, but there’s a reason they were preferred by royalty for centuries. They’re actually very versatile and eager to please! They do love tumbling and have a knack for mimicking human speech, but will happily learn the same tricks as a mime. They’re also content to live singularly and enjoy practicing in private quite a lot, making them rather compatible with modern life. Their larger cousins, the jesters, can also learn mime routines, but keep in mind that they are more willful! The sinister jester is a near dupe for the creepy mime, a popular breed, but they’re not a great choice for a total novice. Remember, they contributed heavily to the makeup of the scary clowns. (o:
Both fools and jesters will prefer to have physical props to play with in their off-time even if they’re trained to perform without them.

A Thesaurus of Bellies

A reference for writers. If this enables one more sentence of chubby fic, my job is done.

Suggestions very welcome.

Updated here on a dedicated page with way more words (and organization)


 ample  apple/pear  beefy  big  big boned  big frame  bigger  blimpy  blubbery  bulky  carrying extra pounds  chubby  chunky  corpulent  cuddly  dimpled  doughy  fattie  filled out  flabby  fleshy  floppy  fluffy  heavily built  heavy  heavyset  hippo  husky  large  meaty  obese  on the bigger side  out of shape  overweight  paunchy  plump  porker  porky  portly  pudgy  puffy  roly-poly  rubenesque  stocky  stout  thick  tubby  tubs  unfit  voluptuous well-nourished


 abundant   bloated         blob of    chunky  chubby  doughnut  flesh  full  heft   lush          mass  massive  mountainous       padded    plump     plush      rotund  round, rounded, rounded out  softened   swollen, swelled up  thick  wide 


 abdomen  beach ball  beer belly  blubber  girth  gut  middle  midsection    padding       paunch  pillow  pot belly  spare tire  stomach  tum  tummy  waist  waistline


biggest/fattest/fullest/roundest part  love handles       mound    muffin top  overhang  rolls, fat rolls, side rolls  shelf   stretch marks   swells of fat    underbelly


 balloon out  bounce    bow out    bulge out  bump  droop  fill out  folds hang  jiggle  overflow  poke out  pooch out  protrude  push  quiver  settle  shake  shelf  sink       soften   stick out  suck in  swell out  tremble  wiggle  wobble


 brush  drift over  explore  ghosting fingertips over  glide over  grab  hands sink in  knead  massage  pat  pinch  poke  push into  rest hand on  rub  rub circles /draw circles  squeeze  squish


 comfy  cuddly  cushiony   dimpled   doughy  firm  lumpy  mushy  pliable  smooth  soft  squishy  warm  yielding


 barely fasten  cling to  gape  outgrow  pop off  pull at  ride up   round out shirt  strain  stretch  struggle  tight  too small  wrinkle

Lapis & Peridot’s Relationship and Respective Mental States, Post-Barn

Now that the DeMayo Family Barn is currently on its way out of the Milky Way Galaxy with Lapis in tow, and that Peridot has returned to living in Steven’s house, I think we can officially declare the “Barn Era” of their characters over. (“And there was much rejoicing”)

I was originally going to do a post solely on Lapis’s mental health, but after seeing Raising the Barn I found it intriguing to look back at Lapis & Peridot’s relationship as we knew it at the time and as we know it now.

At the time, there were criticisms that Lapis & Peridot’s friendship was just glossed over in between Hit the Diamond and Beta, as if there was some emotional bonding episode we never got to see that could only be realized by fan artists and fic writers.

At the same time, there was criticism that Peridot’s character was flanderized into Wacky Funtime Dorito instead of the slightly-jerky science nerd we came to love.

And for a time, I came to agree partially with those criticisms. I said that they should have made a Lapis & Peridot episode in between Hit the Diamond and Beta, and all the naysayers about Lapis’ stagnated development would have gone away for the most part.

But I see now that not showing us Peri & Lapis’ relationship grow from mild tolerance with an overcurrent of animosity to just watching CPH and making meep morps together was actually a clever way to hide the fact that their relationship, and Lapis’ initial decision to stay on Earth, was on rocky footing from the start.

Lapis never truly moved on from how she felt at the start of Same Old World. We know from Room For Ruby that she was still uncomfortable being on Earth, despite months going by in show-time. We didn’t get much Lapis development in that time because in-universe circumstances just got in the way.

Just like how Steven falling ass-backwards into his happy ending in Wanted resulted in him having a blasé attitude about arguably the biggest and most life-threatening event in his life, Lapis just being handed the opportunity to have a consequence-free stay on Earth literally hours after ending the traumatic conga-line that’s been her life for the past 5,000 years did not do anything to help her mental health, and arguably made it worse.

The barn enabled Lapis to ignore her problems wholesale. During her stay there, it seems she pretty much rejected dealing with her problems, and, as we now know for sure from Raising the Barn, Peridot helped her ignore those problems out of a desire not to upset her. And so they just simmered.

They occasionally made themselves known- In Gem Harvest with her “What if you locked the corn up in a mirror for thousands of years” remark, in The New Crystal Gems with her caricatures of the real CGs (showing that she doesn’t think all that highly of them), her outburst in Room For Ruby -but mostly she just buried them under a happy face and an overall “eh” attitude that hid the fire burning deep inside. (JUST LIKE STEVEN!)

So when Steven got back from space and told his whole adventure, she immediately panics. Lapis has been to Homeworld, had seen the destruction they can cause back during the war, and was forced to be an informant for the mission to Earth. She’s understandably freaked out by the very idea that Steven went up against the *Diamonds.*

The Rubies were just cannon fodder. Nothing for her to be concerned about. Peridot calling Yellow Diamond a clod wasn’t anything for her to be concerned about; One rogue Peridot is practically nothing to Homeworld.

But Steven? Like Lapis said, Steven is important. If they ever find out he’s alive and on Earth, it’s game over man.

Lapis’ response is to get out of Dodge. Leave. Go to the farthest corner of the Universe and sit-pretty there.

And you could argue she has a point: It’s only a matter of time until the Diamonds return to Earth (YD’s patience with the Cluster can only last so long), and when they do the Gems there are as good as dead as far as Lapis is concerned.

You could also argue that this attitude is partially Peridot’s fault: By fostering a living situation where Lapis could just stay happy forever and never address those humongous problems she had down inside her. It wasn’t going to last.

Jasper? Never mention the dreaded J-word ever.

The Crystal Gems? Make sure Lapis doesn’t have to interact with them unless indirectly through association with Steven.

The mirror? That meep-morp made of mirrors is totally not a subconscious manifestation of Lapis’ repressed trauma whatyoutalkinboutwillis.

Lapis was like a balloon bouncing around a room of pins and needles, with Peridot being the one desperately running around trying to stop it from hitting the floor. It was only a matter of time until she popped.

At the end of Raising the Barn, Lapis literally raises the barn and takes it with her into space, off to live in some uneventful corner of the galaxy that no Gem would POSSIBLY get near (which turn out to be incorrect if my theory for the next arc is true).

Some have asked, “Why would Lapis take the barn if the only reason she thought of taking it in the first place was because of Peridot?”

I think that’s because the Barn is a symbol of stagnated mental development. Initially, Lapis just wanted to take Peridot with her, because Peridot was the one true thing keeping her away from the unpleasantness. But when she can’t take Peri with her, Lapis takes the only other thing she’s known to keep her happy, the Barn.

Lapis wants to stay in Dandy Funtimes CPH Meep Morp Land for the rest of eternity. And there’s truth to that desire.

Addressing your own mental health problems is NOT fun. Everyone wants to just skip over the hard parts and get right to the part where everything’s fine (JUST LIKE STEVEN!!!)

So it’s no wonder Lapis latched onto the first happy place she could find, dug her feet into the dirt, and when the going got rough, she ran off and took the dirt with her.

But enough about Lapis’ issues. Let’s talk P-dot.

In fact, let’s compare the times since Barn Mates that we saw Peridot away from Lapis with the times we saw her with Lapis.

When she’s with Lapis (see: Beta, Gem Harvest, Room For Ruby), she’s LOL I’M WACKY HAPPY DOT NEVER A NON-HAPPY MOMENT IN THIS BARN NO-SIR-EE-BOB!

When she’s away from Lapis though? (see: Too Short to Ride, Earthlings, Kindergarten Kid) She shows her flaws. Her insecurity about her size. Her insensitivity and frustration with the corrupted gem. The second Peridot gets upset about leaving in Raising the Barn, Lapis angrily tells her to stop getting so emotional (possibly projecting her own repression onto Peri).

And while not a flaw of hers, I’m willing to bet Peridot refrained from any mention of her Crystal Gem-status while around Lapis, or at least didn’t make an effort to tout it around (explaining why she doesn’t have her star yet, coughcough)

Lapis and Peridot, regardless of your shipping preferences, was NOT a healthy relationship. It may have seemed like “oh you old married couple” at the time (heck, Zuke apparently even wrote them that way intentionally to give off that vibe), but now we can clearly see that their happiness together was just a facade.

I don’t doubt that they were genuinely happy, but happiness without emotional openness and lingering issues does not a long-lasting living arrangement make.

As we saw in Back to the Kindergarten, not having the Barn might not be pleasant for Peridot, but it’s very necessary for her to move forward.

And if I may speculate for a moment, Lapis being away from Earth won’t be as pleasant as she thinks. If I’m right about the planet she runs away to being the planet we see the ship crashing on at the end of the SDCC promo, then I think we’ll see that she’s ultimately not happy with taking her life and just moving it somewhere else.

She’ll probably still be trying to maintain the Nothing Is Wrong vibe (JUUUUST LIIIIKE STEEEVEEEEN) but without Peridot with her to keep it up, that’s gonna fall apart *fast.*

If she does end up being Steven and Connie’s only way off that planet, then I think that’s gonna be the thing that forces her back into the Homeworld conflict she’s been avoiding all this time.

If Lapis doesn’t want to confront her problems, then the Universe is going to make her.

It’s only a matter of time.

Mat Romance Secrets

This is for @un-petit-papillon who asked for Mat Romance Tips!

*drink your coffee black and keep your references obscure.
*on mini game 1, the trick is to just keep moving forward. Running into people didn’t set me back as much as trying to carefully pick a route did. Just try and get those hearts as you keep barreling forward.
*now for mini game 2…I’m not SURE if this is right, but it seemed to make the difference between an A and B grade. I played piano on beat to the bouncing dialogue balloon; it was still bad, but the character dialogue after suggests it’s supposed to be anyway.
*DON’T push him to play music until he’s ready, especially at the open mic.
*join the mosh pit. Just fuckin’ do it.

i went into the corner store by my place to get a snack, but i started floating while feeling all dizzy and airy. i got wrapped up in a hanging string of gum packs and floated further off the ground. there were other people in the store and i kept bumping into them. every time i touched the ground, i’d bounce like a balloon. i tried “walking” home while still floating.

Mat Sella Romance Walkthrough

Hey, guys! I know some people mentioned they were having a hard time getting a good ending for Mat. Someone said there wasn’t a walkthrough for him, so I went down and jotted everything I did to get his good end. Hope this helps!

This is all just hastily scribbled shorthand and I’m rocking a fever, so excuse the format <3

Keep reading

But I'm Not Bitter.

We had a huge party for my little brother last summer, on his sixth birthday–moon bounce, water balloon fights, a cookout, and of course, a gigantic cake.

My party will be much, much smaller–just a cake, really–and even for that, Mom didn’t have any flour to make the batter.

But I’m not bitter. I jog briskly down the road to the Parkers’– “Just run down quickly, and see if they have any sugar, then hurry right back”, Mom says. “And wear your raincoat, and gloves, Laura…”

I glance up at the sullen grey clouds that seem to have covered the sky forever, and doubt that a raincoat and gloves will offer much protection.

I knock on the Parkers’ front door when I arrive, feeling silly. Mrs. Parker will likely be just where she was when I came here last, sprawled on the kitchen floor, covered in weeping, seeping sores, with a few rats gnawing at her face….

And that’s where she is still, though since it has been over a week since I was here, she is now mostly bone, with some clinging gristly bits, and she doesn’t care a bit as I grab the whole canister of flour, and the bag of sugar she had in the pantry. The bombs, with their poisonous vapors and plague-clouds, caught most of us unaware, but Mrs. Parker believed in always having a well-stocked pantry.

I leave quickly, not wanting to see if Mr. Parker is still alive. Last time, he was crying and begging me to take him with me, but I couldn’t get his wheelchair down the stairs, and lost control of it–he tumbled to the bottom, but I heard him groaning as I ran out the door, so I know he was alive then.

The rats probably have gotten him by now. I don’t even check, just run out the door again, and home with the flour and sugar.

Mom finishes mixing up my cake, and lights a fire to bake it, while I put Desitin on the worst of the sores on my brother’s face and arms, and then treat my own. They are worse today, and probably being outside didn’t help, even with a raincoat. In a month or so, we’ll probably be dead as the Parkers, who had no cellar to go into when the bombs came.

My cake smells wonderful as it bakes. My brother drew me a sweet picture of us fishing together, and Mom even found candles for my cake. This will most likely be my last birthday party ever.

But I’m not bitter.

anonymous asked:

hi!! could you do hcs for what the boys would do for reader's birthday?

Yesssss! This probably sucks, and I’m posting on mobile so who even knows what kind of typos you’ll find, but anyway. Hope you enjoy!!

- you tell him before your birthday that you don’t wanna do anything huge, which he agrees with…but that doesn’t stop him from coming over with fresh muffins he and his mom baked earlier that morning
- like seriously they were up super early baking
- you wake up to Evan grinning next to your bed with chocolate banana muffins that are still warm
- they’re more like cupcakes because they’re so rich but you guys call them muffins so you can eat them for breakfast/since they don’t have icing
- you guys sit on your bed eating muffins and snuggling (you’re still toasty warm from sleeping and Evan is loving it)
- even though you don’t want to do anything huge, you two make plans while cuddling and eating
- you’re going to go to the orchard cause it’s yours and Ev’s favorite spot to just hang out
- also the weather has been awesome and the apple trees are in bloom and it’s freaking magical
- ev assumed you’d want to go there, so guess what? He packed lunch!
- it’s packed in an adorable lunch basket and when you fangirl about it, Evan gets all blushy and says his mom packed it
- sooo yeah you guys hang at the orchard for a while and evan takes pictures of you sitting in the flowery trees and you eat lunch
- and of course afterward you go to A La Mode
- Evan wants to pick your ice cream, and you let him
- so he orders you this funfetti Sunday thing with a crapton of sprinkles and hot fudge
- it’s dorky but adorable
- the car ride home is kinda long and Evan plays all your fave showtunes, and both of you sing along and IT’S ADORABLE OKAY
- at home you guys chill for a while
- you and Evan decide to bake some more cause why not!!
- you guys try out this sort of elaborate tiered cake with chocolate ganache and it’s sort of lopsided in the end but it looks like it’s gonna taste so good
- after a chill dinner with Evan and your family, you guys invite the gang over
- it’s super relaxed (you convince everyone to come in their pajamas and nearly die laughing when Connor comes over dressed in SpongeBob pajama pants that he swears Jared made him wear on a dare)
- you all eat your amazing cake and watch you’ve got mail together
- everybody gets sleepy and all the cuddles happen
- soft little kisses with Evan
- the precious bby is falling asleep but he just keeps giving you tiny kisses on your nose and telling you he loves you until both of you fall asleep
- Alana gets pictures

- what a nerd
- he’s so bad at going to sleep on time so the dork doesn’t see you until after lunch cause he overslept
- you guys meet up at his house
- apparently he decorated???
- there are streamers haphazardly strung up everywhere and a ton of balloons bouncing around the floor
- he just like shoves this big present at you
- it’s wrapped in star wars wrapping paper, what an adorable nerd
- it’s a bunch of shirts like the ones he wears
- like he got you one that matches his r2d2 shirt and another one that matches his shirt with the flying pigs
- then there’s ones with puns involving star wars, voltron, pacman and basically any old video game, and marvel stuff
- again, they are so dorky but you love them
- Jared sees how happy you are, cause you’re also a huge dork, and he gives you the biggest kiss ever
- you guys go see a movie afterward
- and you spend most of it kissing and making fun of the characters, which is your favorite thing ever because Jared makes the most hilarious comments
- it’s dinner time when the movie ends and you meet up with everyone at like steak n shake or something
- Jared keeps announcing that it’s your birthday to the waiter and somehow you end up with a free mint chocolate chip milkshake
- Alana and Zoe take lots of pics
- the boys keep complaining about not wanting to be in pictures
- Jared flips the bird every time someone tries to take a picture
- but eventually he gives up and just starts kissing you
- Connor and Evan are growing and blushing and the girls are laughing and taking pictures
- it’s great
- and did I mention the kiss itself is greeeeeat
- you like can’t breathe for a second afterward cause holy crap Jared Kleinman gives good kisses
- you guys hang out at the restaurant for a while until you start to get tired
- you and Jared go back to his house and cuddle on his beanbag chair
- he offers to watch something with you, but you’re happy to just snuggle up to him while he plays video games

- Connor is kind of uncomfortable with birthdays
- like they just feel unnecessary and weird and ugh
- but he still comes over and just like shoves this incredibly sparkly birthday card at you
- also he gives the best gifts - a couple sets of leather bracelets cause he started wearing some a while ago and you think they’re really awesome, and also an old hoodie
- “idk why the hell you wanted this, it’s super old and has a big hole in the left elbow”
- “it smells like you, babe!!”
- Connor looks slightly disturbed and very blushy when you bury your face in the hoodie
- you put it on, even though the weather is too warm
- it swallows you cause Connor is Tall™ and you’re kinda short and you freakin love it
- otherwise you and Connor don’t talk about it being your birthday too much
- you go hang out at Barnes and Noble cause both of you have been trying to find new books
- you keep grabbing all these stupid romance novels and teasing Connor that he looks like the hunky dudes on the covers
- and Connor’s like um yeah no cause he’s an actual string bean
- you tell him he’s cuter than the guys on the covers (it’s true)
- he’s blushy and scowling and ugh you just kiss the boy cause he’s so freakin adorable
- you guys get coffee at the cafe
- and he buys you a cupcake and is like “god this is so dorky, this better be a good cupcake”
- you just kiss him again cause he’s a sweetheart
- later you all go back to his house and hang with Zoe
- you all play a bunch of board games and it’s actually really fun
- Connor apparently gets very competitive??
- you think you’re good at Clue but no, Connor is way better
- he has this whole strategy and you’re just like how????
- he wins every time and Zoe is slightly pissed and drags you off to FaceTime Alana
- Alana is sooo enthusiastic it’s the sweetest
- eventually Connor comes in and drags you and Zoe back out to play games again
- you play Monopoly and Zoe wins
- everyone is slightly irritated cause Monopoly is evil
- Connor just looks so annoyed but then he starts like giggling
- and you’re like WHAT????
- the games end very abruptly cause it’s time to kiss
- Zoe throws some of the fake money at you guys and then just leaves cause you’re gonna keep kissing
- Mrs. Murphy makes you the best dinner with an amazing homemade ice cream cake (which was apparently Connor’s idea!!!) and it’s the best
- you and Zoe and Connor all lay on the couch together and watch some dumb horror movie
- Connor takes every opportunity to cuddle you whenever there’s a scary part
- it’s kind of the best thing
- especially cause you’re wearing his hoodie and he’s hugging you and everything smells like Connor
- “this is the best birthday, Con”
- “shut up, y/l/n,” he whispers and then immediately gives you a soft kiss
- and then kisses you more
- Zoe starts yelling at you guys again but do you care? Nope!


So imagine like in high school Iris decides that Barry is going to be the first person she comes out to, because he’s her best friend and she feels safe telling him and she has to tell someone or the poor baby is going to explode. She’s nervous the whole time, and it’s not helping that Barry’s not saying anything, just listening with his eyes all wide as she explains that she likes boys but also she likes girls. And finally she’s done explaining but he’s still not saying anything, so she asks “Well?”

Barry blushes and apologizes for not saying anything; it’s just that he feels the same way - he likes girls (obviously he likes girls; he’s never more aware of that than when he’s with Iris) but he also has some feelings about guys. They both start laughing, a little hysterical, as they realize that the thing they were so nervous about is actually just another thing they have in common.

They’re both buoyed through the next week by their shared secret, bouncing like helium balloons. They make a lot of terrible puns on the word straight and laugh too hard. Iris paints her nails pink, blue, and purple and neither of them can stop grinning about it over breakfast. They take great joy in pointing out every gay crush they’ve ever had to each other and finding overlap. (They were both very confused trying to decide if Padme or Anakin was prettier; now they happily agree to call it a tie.)

It’s not a terribly long time before they decide to tell Joe together. (Iris always meant to tell him soon after Barry, but got briefly sidetracked by the happy surprise of her bff turning out to be bi too.) They do it very elaborately, with a plate of cupcakes frosted in the bi pride colors. Joe’s a little surprised for about ten seconds; then he shakes it and asks (through a mouth full of pink frosting) why they waited so long to tell him, and also did they come up with any idea for dinner while they were baking?

He accompanies both of them to Central City Pride, when they’re young and nervous but desperately curious about going. He helps Barry come out again to Henry, and asks nice questions about the cute boy in Barry’s AP chemistry class. He lets Iris talk his ear off about joining a queer student group her freshman year of college and the studies she reads about sexual identity. They come home for Christmas one year to find that he’s bought himself a custom mug that says ‘I Love My Bisexual Kids’. 

Years later, Wally shows up to dinner one night with a boy in tow, who he vaguely announces he’s “sort of dating”. Barry and Iris immediately move to high five Joe and congratulate  him on going three for three.

anonymous asked:

1/2 "JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES I swear to God if you throw that balloon so help me" you hollered glaring at your boyfriend across the shared kitchen of the avengers tower. Clint had declared an all out prank war and the last ones standing were you and Bucky. Nat had even been taken out by Tony. Bucky grinned bouncing the balloon full of shaving cream. "What ya gonna do doll?" You caught movement out the corner of your eye and managed to snatch the container of shaving cream out the air

2/2 As it flew past your head. “Damn you Wilson” Bucky hollered. “Well come on baby” you said with a wink squealing as he threw the balloon and you hit the valve on the can. Both of you were a giggling mess when you looked up to see Steve and Tony at the door. “BARTON you started it now clean up the mess” Tony hollered and you heard Clint groan. You cleared Buckys lips and kissed him smooshing the shaving cream as you said “how bout a shower soldier?” He grinned and picked you up in his arms.


Fluffy Friday™

damian and animal videos

damian didnt have a lot of computer time growing up, and certainly not for fun. as a result he hasnt seen any cute animal videos. dick realizes this and immediately recruits the entire family in making sure he sees every single cute animal video ever recorded. 

im talking puppies learning to howl. im talking the one of the kitten in the cage pawing really fast. ‘get a load of that dog’. sneezing panda. the black kitten with the long meow. horses rolling in grass. the pitbulls bouncing the balloon. iguanas on a wood floor going skitaskitaskitaskita. birds saying peekaboo. 

damians opinions of his siblings directly correlate to the quality of the videos they send him. tim showed him one of kittens playing that was several minutes long and that was the closest damian got to loving him.

[…] Gerda felt like a balloon, untied, soaring off its own way. But, she thought, it’s a balloon that’s bouncing against the ceiling and can’t get free.
She understood that this was no way to live, human beings are not built to float. She needed an earthly anchor of meaning and care so she didn’t get lost in confusion.

Tove Jansson, from “Listener,” The Woman Who Borrowed Memories: Selected Stories (New York Book Review Classics, 2014)

Love Lasts, part 3


Part 2



You walked out to the living room to find a surprise waiting for you. A handful of Gabriel’s brothers stood around the room, as well as the Winchesters. A banner hung above the room that proclaimed “Baby Girl!” and purple and pink balloons were bouncing against the ceiling.

“Gabriel,” you said with a slight laugh. “What’s this?”

“Your baby shower!” Gabriel stepped over and draped a ‘mother-to-be’ sash over you (as if your giant stomach wasn’t proof enough). “I know these are usually reserved for the ladies, but I did the best I could.”

“This is… wonderful, Gabriel. Really.”

Gabriel led you over to the group, everyone wishing you well and congratulating you. Your husband disappeared for a moment, returning with a plate laden with snacks for you (including the healthy options you were trying to limit yourself to nowadays).

Once everyone had pretty much had their fill, Gabriel pulled your puffy chair out to the middle of the floor. “All right, my lady. Have a seat.”

“Gabriel, what are you doing?”

All of the guests brought their presents over to your chair, surrounding you with boxes and bags. You didn’t really like the spotlight on you, all those angelic eyes staring at you, but the gifts they’d brought were magnificent. You were incredibly touched that Gabriel’s brothers were so thoughtful. (And the Winchesters had gotten you a full line of plaid and flannel baby clothes.)

After the gifts were placed to the side, Gabriel pulled out a few shower games for the guests to play. Surprisingly, Castiel was right on the money with how much ribbon it would take to wrap around your stomach. Sam correctly guessed the most of the answers to the questionnaire about your pregnancy and relationship with Gabriel. And Dean correctly guessed the baby food in unlabeled jars (and nearly threw up when he tasted the mushed peas).

“Thank you, all,” you said. “Really. This little one is already so loved, I can’t imagine what it will be like when she finally arrives.”

“She’ll be spoiled rotten,” Gabriel agreed. “Just the way we always hoped.”


“Are you sure Y/N’s ready for visitors?” Sam asked. “We don’t want to intrude.”

“She’s been home for a few weeks. She’s getting stir-crazy. You’ll be a welcome change.” Gabriel carefully opened the door, peering in. “Good, she’s awake.”

The Winchesters followed the angel into the living room, finding you sitting on the couch, bottle in one hand, baby in the other.

“Hi, boys!” you said, smiling up at them. “It’s so good to see you!”

“You, too,” the boys said. They carefully flanked you, not wanting to jostle the little bundle in your arms.

“Here,” you said, passing your baby and the bottle off to Sam. “Feed her and you’ll be bonded for life.”

“My kind of gal,” Dean said, laughing slightly at his brother.

Sam peered down at the little baby, her honey-colored eyes matching her father’s. “Hey, little one,” he said, carefully holding the bottle to her curved, pink lips. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“How are you doing?” Dean asked. “This is certainly a big adjustment.”

You smiled. “It is. But it hasn’t been as hard as the horror stories would make you think. She eats, she sleeps, she poops.”

“Sounds like Gabriel.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Deano. You’re just jealous.”

“Jealous of a tiny, screaming ball of flesh? No th–”

You signaled to Sam who leaned over and plopped the baby into Dean’s arms. The elder hunter looked incredibly freaked out, but his arms stiffened, holding the baby close to him. “Whoa. Easy there, baby,” he said as she began to squirm slightly. She soon settled, peering up at Dean with a curious expression.

“She likes you,” Gabriel said, smiling down at his daughter.

“Yeah, well… what’s not to like?”

Bouncing Bozo
Balloon - Special
Mirth: 8 Makeup: 10
The bounciest clown you’ll ever see
Special: Whenever this card changes fields, you may have clowns you control gain one Mirth

This uncommon card has a unique ability, while only useful if you or your opponent can have clowns switch fields it’s Makeup is still more worthy for an uncommon card

adellaenchanted  asked:

thoughts on ... hentai :/

wow. amazing. The way them balloons bressesess bounce? A1. You’ve only survived through hentai. I was born in it. came out from the eyes of an unknown generic hentai man fucking his big thiddied wife. I started the anime hentai revolution. Her eyes down to her nose? that was me.