bougers

I’M LAZY in French

Avoir la flemme (de faire qch) - can’t be bothered (doing something)

Avoir un poil dans la main - to never do any work/be bone lazy

Être cossard - to be lazy (familiar)

Être fainéant(e) - to be bone lazy/idle

Être flemmard - to be idle/lazy

Être paresseux/paresseuse - to be lazy

S’acagnarder - to laze about

Se bouger le cul - to get off your ass (when you’ve been lazy)

Se remuer - to get off your ass (when you’ve been lazy)

Un bon/une bonne à rien - a lazy/good for nothing person

Un cossard/une cossarde - a lazy person

Un fainéant (f: fainéante)/paresseux (f: paresseuse) - a lazy person

Une fainéasse - a slacker (rude)

Un flemmard - a lazybones 

Un jean-foutre - a layabout/wastrel

expressions #2

expressions #1 


lovely, lovely France :

- “nice like a prison’s door” (: nasty) : aimable comme une porte de prison

- “combed like an underarm” (: crazy hair) : coiffé-e comme un dessous-de-bras (normally it’s aisselle : improper french, don’t say that otherwise!)

- “having an oyster’s IQ” : avoir un QI d’huître

- “curling the ridiculous” (: being nearly stupid) : friser le ridicule (no Juliet you’re not stabbing yourself bc of some guy you met yesterday, ça frise le ridicule!)

- “not having invented warm water / the butterwire” (: be dumb) : ne pas avoir inventé l’eau chaude / le fil à couper le beurre

- “not having light at every floor” (: ie be mentally slow) : ne pas avoir la lumière à tous les étages

- “going on the throne” (: at the loo) : aller sur le trône

- “better having them in picture than at the table” (: when someone eats too much) : il vaut mieux l’/les avoir en photo qu’à table

- “it’s smelling like fir trees” (: cf coffin wood, cf age/death) : ça sent le sapin

- “make-uped like a stolen car” (: wearing too much make up) : maquillé-e comme une voiture volée

- cut the bullshit : arrête tes conneries

- “not being worth drips” : ne pas valoir tripette

- “having an awry fart” (: in a bad mood/sick) : avoir un pet de travers

- “have I asked you for the time?” : (est-ce que) je t’ai demandé l’heure?

- “getting called Arthur” (: getting yelled at) : tu vas te faire appeler Arthur si tu continues à faire du bruit alors que j’essaie de travailler!

- “do you want my picture ?” (when someone is starring) : tu veux ma photo?

- “the rubber band is flexed (: slapping awaits) : l’élastique est tendu (+ you put your hand next to your head)

- “it moves one without touching the other” : (I couldn’t care less) : ça m’en touche une sans faire bouger l’autre (those one and other being balls)


food related :

- supple like a bretzel (: not being supple) : souple comme un bretzel

- “discussing the fat’s bit” (: having a chat) : tailler le bout de gras

- “putting the cutlery back” (: going for round 2) : remettre le couvert

- leek (: penis) : poireau (fam, rather gross)

- “yogurt-singing” (: in a language you don’t know) : chanter en yaourt

- “it’s starting to run on my bean” (kinda) (: I’m getting pissed) : ça commence à me courir sur le haricot

- “the mustard is getting higher” (: I’m getting pissed, bc it burns your nose yk) : la moutarde est en train de monter

- “having the peach” (: being in a good mood) : avoir la pêche

- “being soaked as a soup” : être trempé-e comme une soupe

- “taking a peach” (: a punch) : se prendre une pêche

- “bring your strawberry” (: get here) : ramène ta fraise

- “hairy as an egg” (: not) : poilu-e comme un oeuf

- a turnip (: bad movie) : un navet

- “bag of wine” (: drunk) : sac à vin (way to call someone)

- “having the ass trimmed with noddles” (: being very lucky) : avoir le cul bordé de nouilles

- “having the banana” (: being smiley) : avoir la banane

- “turning out a cake” (: having a poo) : démouler un cake

- “mind your onions” : occupe-toi de tes oignons

- “getting toasted” (: taken in the act) : se faire griller

- “having eaten a cemetary” (: bad breath) : avoir bouffé (fam) un cimetière


body related :

- “lying as a tooth puller” : mentir comme un arracheur de dents

- the world’s butthole (: small village) : le trou du cul du monde 

- “having cauliflower ears” (: like rugbymen) : avoir les oreilles en chou-fleur

- “having a Punchinello in the drawer” (: being pregnant) : avoir un Polichinelle dans le tiroir (old)

- “throwing an eye” (: taking a look at) : jeter un oeil

- “the hand in the bag!” (: getting caught) : la main dans le sac

- the English have landed” (: period metaphor) : les Anglais ont débarqué

- “that doesn’t break 3 paws to a duck” (: it’s not amazing/innovating) : ça ne casse pas trois pattes à un canard

- “seeing red” (: v v pissed) : voir rouge

- “that’s walking” (: works for me) : ça marche

- “it’s going to shit square-shaped bubbles” (: there’s going to be a big argument) : ça va chier des bulles carrées

- “best peeing in a violin to stop it for rustying” (: doing stg that’s not going to help) : autant pisser dans un violon pour l’empêcher de rouiller

- “round as a shovel’s tail” (: v drunk) : rond comme une queue de pelle

- “having bathing back’s teeth” (: being drunk) : avoir les dents du fond qui baignent

- “not being out of the brambles/sand/inn” (: being stuck in a situation) : ne pas être sorti-e des ronces (f)/du sable/de l’auberge (f)

- “hurrying one’s ass” : se magner (fam) le cul (fam)

- “having shit in one’s eyes” (: not seeing stg) : avoir de la merde dans les yeux

- “singing like a pan” : chanter comme une casserole

- “flat as a lemon sole / a breadplank” (: no tits no butt) : plate comme une limande / planche à pain

- pussy : chatte (yup, v popular)

- “mind your ass” : occupe-toi de ton cul

- “throwing oneself on sthg like misery on the poors” (: rushing to do sthg) : se jeter sur (quelque chose) comme la misère sur le pauvre monde

- “having horns” (: being cheated on) : avoir des cornes


animal related :

- “you’re done like a rat” (: surrounded, about to get arrested) : tu es fait-e comme un rat (in gangster movies basically)

- “dirty dog” (: nasty, dishonest person) : sale chien-ne

- “yelling as a polecat” : gueuler (fam) comme un putois

- a chicken (: a cop) : un poulet

- “having sea urchins in the pockets/wallet” (: being miserly) : avoir des oursins dans les poches/le portefeuille

- “being a cow’s skin” (: a nasty/annoying person) : être une peau de vache

- gay as a seal : pédé (: fag, not good) comme un phoque

- “being taken for a pigeon” (: being used) : être pris-e pour un-e pigeon-ne

- “having the flea at the ear” (: guessing) : avoir la puce à l’oreille

- “when hens will have teeth” (: never) : quand les poules auront des dents

- “having worms” (: stamping, wriggling) : avoir des vers

- “having fleas” (: when scratching oneself intensely) : avoir des puces

- “going from the rooster to the donkey” (: going from one topic to a completely different one without any reason) : aller du coq à l’âne

- “being a donkey” (: stubborn) : être un âne / une bourrique

- “made like a horse” (: penis metaphor) : monté comme un cheval/étalon

- shark week (: period metaphor) : //

- “being the joke’s turkey” (: being fooled) : être le dindon de la farce


daily life :

- “lightning up someone’s lamp“ (: explain stg) : éclairer la lanterne de quelqu’un

- being a sissy : être une chochotte (ep)

- under the eyes (: in front of) : sous les yeux, ex : j’ai le papier sous les yeux

- under the shower (: in the shower) : sous la douche, ex : va répondre à la porte stp, je suis sous la douche

- “having a white night” (: insomnia) : passer une nuit blanche

- “in the car, Simone” (let’s go) : en voiture, Simone!

- “let’s go Alonzo” : allons-y Alonzo

- “giving a hand’s blow” (: helping, giving a hand) : donner un coup de main

- “wearing the knickers” (: being the one who makes decisions in a couple) : porter la culotte 

- “excuse the few” (: sarcasm, when someone has a lot and still complains) : excuse(z)-moi du peu (oh yes indeed you have three houses and two cars but you do NOT have a boat excusez-moi du peu)

- “I take” (I’d take it, count me in) : je prends, ex : si quelqu’un sait où je peux trouver une carte mémoire de PlayStation 1 pas trop chère, je prends

- “wanting the butter and the cost of the butter” (: wanting everything) : vouloir le beurre et l’argent du beurre (sometimes we also add “et le cul de la crémière” aka and the dairywoman’s ass)

- “taking a jacket/a rake” (: getting rejected) : prendre une veste/un râteau 

- “in fourth speed” (: v v quick) : en quatrième vitesse

- “turning over one’s jacket” (: switching opinion/camp) : retourner sa veste

- “getting in the subject’s brisk” (: adressing the elephant in the room) : entrer dans le vif (normally an adj) du sujet / “not passing by four paths” : ne pas passer par quatre chemins 

- “every road leads to Roma” (: who cares if we get lost) : tous les chemins mènent à Rome

- “going fishing for infos” (: trying to discover what people are gossiping about) : aller à la pêche aux infos

- “at the laddle” (: about, around) : à la louche (also : à peu près / en gros), ex : à la louche je dirais qu’il fait à peu près 1m85 (I’d say he is about 6 feet tall)

- “don’t look for midday at 2pm” (: don’t make things complicated) ne cherche(z) pas midi à quatorze heures

- “there’s no fire” (: no need to hurry) : il n’y a pas le feu 

- “passing a soap” / “getting X’s braces (the clothes) up again” (: tell someone off) : passer un savon / remonter les bretelles à/de

- “at Saint-Glinglin’s day” (: never) : à la Saint Glinglin

- “the four thursday’s week” (: never) : la semaine des quatre jeudi

- “we’re not at nan’s” (: you’re getting too comfy) : on n’est pas chez mémé

Je ne veux pas être une adulte mais je veux pas non plus être une enfant. Je veux être financièrement autonome mais je ne veux pas travailler. Je veux apprendre mais je ne sais pas quoi. Je veux voyager mais j'ai peur. Je veux sortir de ma zone de confort mais j'ai la flemme. Je veux faire bouger les choses mais je ne veux pas me battre.

Excessive (Hamilsquad x Reader)

AN: This took a week to get out and it’s not even good lolololol

Tag Crew: @iluvnialljameshoran @hamgurlphangirl @stillcooli0 @coozls @huffleheyguys @artisticgamer @theoverlordofeverything @hmltntrsh51 @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit2 @hamilton4starwars @megabooklover18

Request: Anonymous- Could I request a hamilsquad x reader where the reader accidentally burns or injures themselves in some way and the boys freak out like they’re dying? Idk why I thought of this but I just love your writing and would love to see a story like this! ❤❤❤ Thank you!!!

Warnings: Injury and swearing, though I feel swearing goes without saying at this point lmao

Word Count: 1,218

Masterlist

It had been a fairly unproductive day, but the boys had insisted on relaxing with you on the rare days that they all had off. Relaxing meant watching HGTV or some other home improvement channel, half asleep.

Keep reading

Art of Seduction Pt.3 (Hamilsquad x Reader)

A/N: Now that this part’s over I have to work on the epilogue. Warning: Swearing, Clumsiness, mentions of NSFW themes

Laf ground his hips against your mound. His cock wanted inside your pussy, but being held back by your lacy black undies and his pants.

You were kissing him just as deeply, rubbing your small hands over his much larger chest, across his face, then to his backside. His frustration with the black thong was evident so you decided to do something about it. You summoned up your courage and pushed him down, taking your favorite frenchman by surprise.

“You are always taking care of me and the others. This time I’m going to take care of you, mon beau.” you purred in his ear. His stiff, shining cock pressed against your covered mound. “You are going to lay on the bed and not do anything. I will handle everything. I’m giving and you receive.”

Your hand went to Laf’s pants, feeling his aroused member, gently patting the restrictive denim bulge. “Understand?”

You emphasized more by taking off your panties. Not breaking eye contact with Laf, you rose slightly and peeled down your skimpy black panties. You decided to keep the thigh highs and garter belt with the little apron on, and straddling his hips.

“Oui.” Lafayette spoke with a shuddering gasp as you slid the zipper down and freed him from the tight confines of his jeans.

You hummed in delight when she realized he had no underwear on. “No boxers, how helpful, Gilbert~”

You straddled him eagerly, fitting his wet cock between your legs and rubbing the hard tip against your swollen clit that was dripping with your arousal. You traced your fingers up and down his shaft, gripping it at the base and sliding upward to the knob. You slipped your other hand under Lafayette’s balls and cupped them while your other one increased it speed.

“Be prepared, Gilbert, because I’m going to ride you like the US cavalry.” You heard John and Alexander’s grunts, obviously getting turned on by you.

You meet his lips, swallowing a small moan in the embrace. You raise yourself up, smiling down at him, not breaking eye contact with the frenchman for a single second before unhurriedly lowering yourself onto his member, a soft moan exiting your mouth. Your pussy was weeping from your romp with Hercules, making Laf’s shaft slide in easily.

Lifting up and down, using your knees as fulcrum and driving down hard against him. The slapping noise of skin against skin drove you crazy as you rode Laf hard, galloping towards orgasm. You watch as his hands clutch the sheets. His head falling back as he emits a rumbled groan.

“Mon Dieu!” You heard Lafayette gasp, his hips thrusting up to meet yours, wanting more.

“Not so fast.” You pressed one hand against his muscular chest and spanked his inner thighs with the other. “I said I will handle everything so you just lay there relax.”

“Bien sûr, maîtresse.” He said between gritted teeth, obviously fighting the urge to thrust into you. Instead he absorbed your beauty. He loved the way your chest rose and fell with each heavy pant as you trembled at his length that was pleasurably stretching your sex.

You held very still, clenching and unclenching the muscles of your wet pussy around his deliciously large cock, feeling Lafayette’s shivers of delight. You rose on your knees until he was nearly outside of you, then you forcefully slammed down and buried him in your core, making you both scream loudly in pleasure.

“Alors…serré …ne peut pas… bouger…” Lafayette’s eyes were wide, about to explode any second. Unlike his usual way of making love, you were now the giver of pleasure instead of him, and it turned him on immensely.

You ground yourself against him, bouncing up and down. The friction building more as you went faster and faster. Moaning as your body strained for release, increasing your pace, rocking in circles, getting off on Laf’s moans.

You wanted more…so much more…needed more…

You must have said that out loud because you were quickly swarmed by John and Alexander.

As John buried his tongue in your mouth, while Alex worked on taking your bra off, trailing hickeys down your neck.

Then Alex decided to be a wise guy and roughly grabbed your breasts without warning. You tensed up in surprise, which sent you and Lafayette over the edge.

You lowered your head to look him, this sweet foreign Adonis whose climax you held in your grip. His brown eyes were hazy with lust and reflected the darkest desires of his mind. Then his eyelids hid them, his body going stiff and giving in to his unstoppable release.

Your muscles tightened around his shaft with enough tightness that it felt like you were going to crush him.
Laf’s back arched and eyes wide as he exploded inside you. Your movements stopped as you detected the twitches of his ejaculation inside your walls. You gave a shuddering smile in satisfaction as you milked Laf’s cock.

As you and Laf quieted, Laf pulled you against his chest that was still heaving intensely from the action.

“Darn…it…I…wanted…to…last…longer…” You said between your panting, your whole body felt like it turned to jelly, but still craving more. “I…want…”

“More?” Alex and John said seductively from your sides, already stripped down to their naked forms.

You lazily nodded. John pulled you off Lafayette while Alex helped raise Laf to his feet. He mumbled something about helping Hercules with dinner as he stumbled out. He must have still been in a post sex daze because he forgot to zip up his pants. Looks like Hercules will be in for really pleasant surprise.

John pressed you against him, mouthing hungrily at your jaw, your neck and, most delightfully, your breasts. “Now what does our little sweetness want us to do to her?”

“Ummmm…” You stared at them, not being able to think of anything.

“Don’t leave that pretty mouth open for too long, I might decide to make use of it.” commented Alex, licking your ear for emphasis.

“For shame, Alex, you know we can’t do anything to her unless she tell us to.” said John, as he teased your folds that were dripping with yours and Laf’s cum.

“We can’t make you wither in pleasure as we fill your heart, body, and mind with an insatiable lust that can only be extinguished by the sensation of epic orgasmic delight.” Alexander tells you hotly. Your mouth opens in anticipation, as his finger travels in a steady pattern with John’s; over your wet lips, still sensitive from your last orgasm.

You pouted at them for teasing you. Normally each one was so gentle, but together they would always mess with you. Them being together always brought out their sadistic sides, which they liked to take out on you.

“We can give you what you want…”

“…All you have to do is say the words.”

“Hard or sweet?”

“Slow and winding?”

“Or fast and intense?”

You smiled sheepishly, as your hand meets the the top of their trousers. You cheekily hook a finger inside, and their eyes widen at your boldness, something seeming to spark inside you. John leans down to her ear.

“Are you teasing us, (Y/N)?” His voice was surprisingly guttural and lower than usual, and the underlying tone of restraint gave you chills, as you looked up into his eyes.

“Maybe.” You leaned upwards, and kissed him in a way that made him respond tenfold. He pulls back, leaving you breathless and dazed. “Or maybe I just like touching you guys too much.”

Suddenly an idea springs to mind, and you turn to offer Alex your most innocent smile. You delicately remove his hands from your womanhood, and rest them on your hips. You then take his writing hand, and carefully grasp it. A knowing smile creeps onto Alex’s enchanting face, probably imagining a long fingering session. However, you have something else entirely different in store for both him and John.

You move his slick hand away from your lady parts, your eyes never leaving his, making sure his fingers are soaked with Laf’s and your wetness.

Slowly, you raise his hand to your mouth.

Alexander’s cocky smile fades and changes to one of complete surprise.

At a deliberately slow pace, you open your mouth and inserted Alex’s finger, that was coated in your own juices, before gradually closing your mouth and sucking his finger. The fact that such a move has warranted a look of ecstatic wonder on Alex’s face was priceless. John looked completely entranced. The sour, yet not entirely atrocious, taste of Alex’s finger, Laf’s cum, and your wetness fills your mouth. You look at him and John with beckoning eyes, as you slide his finger from your mouth, teasing the tip with your tongue.

“Fuck!” Alex blurts out.

You move onto his middle finger, sliding into your mouth and granting it the same attention, before dragging your tongue along it’s length-groaning quietly as you do so.

“Woah…” John pants out, his jaw dropped in disbelief. To counter-act the sour tang of Alex’s flesh, you lovingly take John’s soft hand into your own, raise it to your mouth and diminiutively suck and nibble the tip of his index finger, the flavor cleansing your palette. You spend the next few minutes alternating between them, sometimes gliding their fingertips over your lips, sometimes lapping thirstily at the digit with your tongue.

Alex appears to have taken a high class trip to heaven, his face lit up in glee. John looks extremely eager to ravish both you and Alex. You remove Alex’s finger from your mouth, taking both of his hands into your own and easing them down, so they’re resting over your breasts.

Guiding his hands in steady circles over them, you provide yourself with a stimulation that rushes to the aching heat between your thighs. Your body begging for them to do something already!

“I want both of you to…to…” Your voice came out small, barely even a whisper, as you tried not to sound too embarrassed.

“Yes?” John and Alex said, looks of raw passion and desire.

“…I want you to touch me all over and fill me.”

“C'mere, babe. I’ll take care of you while John gets everything ready.” Alex beckons gently, and you respond compliantly-taking his hands from your chest and placing them on his own stomach, leaning down to plant a chaste kiss on the back of his hand. You shuffle forward, laying your own hands on his chest and lean forward-yet again-to kiss him on his perfect, petal-soft lips. His arms wrap around your upper body, bringing you closer-until you’re effectively lying on top of him, breasts cushioned against his chest, your knees spread on either side of his pelvis, leaving you in straddling position. It may not be the most comfortable, but if maintaining this position with Alex for a little longer meant sacrificing the rest of the strength in your back muscles, you’ll gladly accept it. The heat of Alex’s body pleasantly making up for it.

The nudge of Alex’s erect cock against your hip as he teasingly shifted between your legs. His breath tickling your nose. Now you didn’t really like to play favorites, but Alex had one talented mouth!

You melted into the familiar pressure of his lips. His masterful mouth moving over yours, coaxing your mouth to open for him. His tongue swiping across the seam of your mouth, exactly like how his fingers moved along the seam of your folds. He always understood the importance of touch.

Allowing him within your mouth, moaning around him as his tongue unhurriedly explored the moist cavern. He licked at your inner cheek, along the line of your teeth then flicked at your tongue in flirtatious manner, probing you to follow his lead. You did, exploring his mouth in return. He tasted like coffee with a hint of the imported beer. Moaning, you fed on his mouth, reveling at his personal flavor.

Hands dug into your hips, quickly flipping you over and angling for a brutal thrust. Lost in his kiss, you hadn’t mentally prepared, but your pussy had never been wetter and more willing, for him to plunge past your folds. As he urgently filled your pussy, your inner muscles convulsed at the sudden intrusion. He slid deep, though not totally and you still felt everything!

Now Alex was not exactly a Laf or Herc when it came to size, he was a small man, though she never had complaints. Because what Alex lacked in size he made up for it in pure passion.

His cock’s length curved to the side and as he withdrew his shaft, quickly drove back inside with force. You felt the pressure of his cock’s tip as it burned a line of friction sideways, bulging your stretched inner walls. It was a unique sensation that you had you in moaning in pleasure.

Gyrating his hips, Alex pierced you over and over, his cock making the squirm with each penetration into your sobbing folds. He wrapped his arms around you, hauling you closer into his chest. Your chest ached with the heaviness of a building orgasm. Your stomach fluttered against his with each pant. Your hands stroked down between your entwined bodies, rubbing his lower abdomen and the slim stomach that awaited you. He was so slender.

Suddenly you felt the entire world tip. The coldness of the air-conditioned air struck your sweaty back, making you buck in slight irritation. You found yourself back in the same position you were with Laf on the bed.

You lifted almost all the way off Alex’s cock, you savored his groan at your short-lived dominance. That’s when you felt it.

Hands, not Alex’s because they were too long and slender, dropped to your shoulders from behind you. Softly massaging your shoulders, moving slowly down to cover your breasts, kneading the sensitive flesh. Lips found their way to the nape of your neck where they nibbled and licked a path across your sweaty skin. You melted into the touch, leaning to feel the new partner’s chest pressed to your back.

He was slim but bigger than Alex, and his chest was bare, leaving only flesh on flesh contact. Shivering, you knew exactly who this was.

“John…” you panted.

Moving in closer to you, his large, warm hand touches your back and follows the curve of your spine, before pinning you against Alex. Making you release a tiny squeak of surprise and causing you to break away from the peaceful embrace with Alex. John and him amused from your, quite frankly, adorable outburst. Blood rushes to your face, and you feel a familiar, hot glow radiating from your cheeks.

“It’s not funny.” You said, pouting your lips at them. “Don’t get cocky.”

“Was that supposed to be a pun?” John snorted.

“Because that was really really really terrible.” commented Alex.

“Shut up.” You said, trying to hide the smile playing on your lips.

“Fine, fine. Let’s get back to business.” John said, his voice clear as a bell. “Jesus, your completely soaked.”

“Tight, too. Though I think we still need some extra preparation before we can finish you.” Alex said, punctuating his statement by lifting his hips and slamming his shaft back inside your pussy.

As Alex did that, John’s fingertips joined his breach, adding more pressure to the borders of your seam as he moved his tips along the line of yours and Alex’s nearly fused flesh. You could feel Alex grumble, beginning low in his chest, right under where your hands rested for balance.

“Fucking hell! Let me know before you do something, babe! I don’t want to come to soon!”

“Remember when I tried to talk you into doing tantric yoga with me, but you said there was no point?” John teased his boyfriend. “That was one of the benefits.”

“You and your fucking fitness fads…whatever.”

“I love you, too.”

You contained your giggle at frustrated look on Alex’s face. Beads of sweat and all. Still, you understood what he was feeling at the moment. Between John’s fingers edging your hole, Alex’s cock teasing your wet folds, and his hands now tweaking and pulling at your nipples, you were about to explode in a rattling orgasmic tsunami.

“John…lube…ready?” You only were able to half hear the plea in Alex’s voice, his cock stroking your plump and swollen clit. You were too far gone, floating on a cloud of pent up sexual tension. The friction was painful, your nerves still sensitive from your earlier orgasm, which added to the thrill of what you knew was coming next. Thinking about how John and Alex were about to stretch you so wide that it’d probably take a week for you to recover. You wanted something new and were definitely about to get it.

“All good, babe. You ready, sweetie?” John’s voice was a rough roar, rumbling in your ear. His hand sliding down the side of your body, brushing past the gentle yet tightly grip of Alex’s fingers at your hips. Stroking low, he rested a palm on her mound, tickling the thin skin surrounding the bundle of nerves. The new sensation making you buck and thrash up, almost knocking John from his position.

Reacting to your movements, John’s fingers danced up the bumps of your spine, tangling your hair in his hand, tightening his gentle grip, and pulling your head back. His other hand pressed firmly between your shoulder blades. You were now immobilized, at the mercy of Alex’s cock that was pummeling your pussy and John’s across your backside.

Alex pushed into you again, slipping through easily. Biting your bottom lip, tasting the metallic tang of blood, preparing yourself for the worst.

“Be prepared. We’re going to split you wide, babydoll.” Alex grunted.

Now that is what you were talking about. You had never done anal before. Though you had to admit to doing a bit of curious research after reading to many fanfics and all the research stressed the importance of using lube. Which you realized was completely true when ever you saw your boyfriends have sex. (It’s the only way Laf and Herc can fit.)

John started small, knowing that it was your first time. Circling over and over again before he finally pressed forward and entered you. At first, you didn’t really feel anything…then the pressure hit.

You thought the websites had exaggerated the feelings of anal sex, but you were wrong. John added more lube to his finger, forcing his thumb and knuckle inside you.

“Fuck!” You yelled, trying to pull away. Whether prepared or not, the pain was immense as your body tried to adjust. The sharp edge of a tear flared in your eyes, Alexander quickly noticed. His writing roughened palm cupped your chin, his thumbs delicately caressing your cheeks.

“Shhh. I know it hurts right now, but try and bear with it. I’m going to kiss you, honey. Try to breathe normally.” Alex warned, quieting you with a kiss as John stretched your ass with finger after finger. You were thankful for Alex’s kindness, but it did little to ease the pain.

Finally, three fingers deep into your ass, John kissed you for your perseverance. Soon you were trembling from pain, pleasure, need, and hope. This was it.

“Tell us if you want us to stop and we will.” John soothed.

“We want to make sure your okay with this. So I’m asking again. Do you really want this?” Alex asked, gazing into your eyes.

“Yes, yes, yes.” You nodded furiously, the anticipation and frustration from lack of orgasm driving you crazy. “I want it! I want it SO bad! Please give it–”

John was extremely eager to obey, wrapping an arm under your hips and plunging his long, slender cock up your ass. Surprise tore a scream from your throat.

Alex grunted under you, as he pushed into you. His cock stroking your G-spot as moved through you. You whined as he continued in and out, pounding your G-spot, and grinding against your womb.

Deep within your lower body, you felt the slide of your boyfriends’ cocks as they bumped and touched across the thin membrane of your vaginal walls and anal passage.

John grunted, taking you roughly, his dominant side in overdrive. His pounding was fast, intense, and deep, not giving you anytime to adjust. He was always such a passive dom, reveling at how you or the others bowed before him, under him. And you loved the way he made you feel that way.

Alex growled under you, his mouth on you, tasting you. Licking up and down the valley of your breasts, nipping painfully at your suspended nipples as he whispered praises and compliments to you.

“That’s it, honey. You’re doing great…better than great. You look so sexy right now that I just can’t hold back.” Alex grunted.

“Your amazing, (Y/N). Your ass is amazing! I could fuck you all day long!” John panted, the strokes of his cock were slow and steady, building toward his completion.

Achingly full, pulsing from pain and pleasure that radiated from every nerve, sweat pouring from your pours, you rejoiced. You were losing control, your body deeply reacting to Alex and John.

“She’s close, babe.” John’s lips lovingly stroked the muscle of your shoulder as he spoke over your skin.

That’s all Alex needed to hear, because he couldn’t hold back anymore. No matter how long he tried, he couldn’t hold back. His hands sliding to grip your ass and slamming deeply into you. You yelped as his nails harshly gripped your skin, then yelped again as his cock settled deeply into you. Your spine stiffening as John’s climax followed Alex’s.

You tensed up, finally snapping. Despite the intense heat of three bodies crowded together, moving in unison, lost in sensation, your skin flushed. It cut deep, making you shriek their names. Riding the hell out of your second orgasm, as Alex and John’s warm spunk coated your inner walls. Coming apart, like ice melting in a sudden burst of flames as your pussy and anal passage were flooded with warm cum. Climax cresting over you in a giant unstoppable tidal wave, seeing stars burst behind your eyelids.

“That’s it, come for us, Babydoll.” John said, his delicious lips curling into a broad smile. Alex kept up his intense thrusting into your pussy until screaming subsided. Your body collapsing in exhausted satisfaction. Alex and John placing gentle kisses on your forehead and neck as you went limp in exhaustion, falling next to Alex on the bed. John quickly settling next to you.

“So…intense…” You panted. “I…can't…anymore…feel…soar…need…rest…”

Soft applause rippled from the doorway.

“Magnifique!” Laf cheered, leaning in the doorway as Hercules stood by his side, filming on his camcorder. “What a show! So natural and sweet! I could feel the passion from here!”

“Talk about going out with a bang! You three could crush the porn industry!” Herc smiled, but kept his distance from the three of you, allowing you to collect yourselves and cover up with sheets. “This is a memorable moment! Our angel’s first time doing anal!”

John and Alex snickered from sides as they snuggled against your body under the covers. But you were only half listening to what your boyfriends were saying.

Laf was always taking videos of everything, his sense of humor and perverted sensibility made him perfect for shooting porn. And even though he swore that the videos would never ever be seen by anyone other then him, you still couldn’t calm your nerves.

Sitting up, the sheet falling from your naked torso, reaching for Laf’s camera in panic. You didn’t realize how completely weak you were and that your legs were still tangled in the sheets. Before you could realize what was happening, you were falling off the bed.

THUD

“(Y/N)!”

J'ai une putain d'envie d'aller danser toute la nuit, de parler à des inconnus, de gueuler aux gens qui  m'soulent d'aller s'faire enculer, de montrer par a+b que toute notre vie c'est d'la merde et qu'on pourrait faire mieux, j'ai envie de passer ma vie dans mon lit à écrire ce qui me passe par la tête et à lire du Aragon, j'ai envie de sécher les cours et d'partir en excursion à la place, j'ai envie d'me casser mais aussi de plus bouger, j'ai envie de profiter et également de me laisser aller, j'veux leur dire niquez vos races à tous mais j'ai pas la foi ni le courage de prendre ma vie en main réellement, alors j'laisse juste les choses faire et je regarde où ça me mène en espérant tous les jours que demain soit moins pire qu'hier.

Toi t'es différente. T'as un truc qui change, qui chamboule tout, ce truc qui transperce l'âme, tu vois de quoi je parle? Puis t'as ce regard dans la face, qui interpelle les gens, ce regard qui dit que t'as besoin d'aide et que t'es complètement à côté de la plaque. T'es pas normale, mais vraiment pas normale. T'as ce sourire de conne, oui de conne, celui qui a l'air de dire “j'emmerde tout le monde, puis j'emmerde la vie aussi”, t'as cette façon de marcher aussi qui trahit ton sourire. Parce que t'as beau faire la dure, la forte, l'insensible, la sarcastique, l'orgueilleuse, la cynique, l'intouchable, ça se voit au premier coup d'oeil, et à force t'es plus crédible. Ça se voit que tu vas pas bien, qu'à tout moment tu peux t'écrouler. Qu'il suffit qu'on te bouscule un peu fort, pour que tu finisses par tomber. Mais toi, t'es inoubliable. T'es pas le genre de fille qu'on oublie comme ça, du jour au lendemain. Toi t'es un ouragan. Tu laisses des séquelles et des traces de ton passage, et ça, partout où tu vas. Puis toi, t'es comme la pluie aussi. T'es belle à regarder, ça en devient même tout drôle des fois. Tu pues l'humanité, tu pues la nuit. Tu sens l'espoir et tu sens la vie. Et t'es là, tu débarques, tu sèmes tes petits bouts de toi, puis tu t'en vas. Bordel. T'es tellement de choses à la fois. Tu donnes envie à un flemmard de se bouger le cul, à un fumeur d'arrêter de fumer, à un amoureux brisé d'aimer. T'es comme un vieux souvenir, qu'on arrive pas à effacer. T'es ancrée dans le regard des gens, t'es ancrée dans leur réalité.

anonymous asked:

J'entends déjà les "si Hamon s'était retiré Mélenchon aurait gagné" et beh s'il était parti, j'aurais voté Poutou, et si Poutou était parti, j'aurais voté Arthaud. Et je connais pas mal de gens qui auraient voté Macron, donc zut aux hypothèses, Macron est au deuxième tour, la gauche a perdue, faut se bouger pour les législatives et arrêter de calculer des trucs qui ne vont jamais arriver.

Clap clap.

Premiers cours et nutrition

Elle n'a pas mangé. Ça fait deux semaines qu'elle mange très peu, elle ne finit presque plus ses assiettes et ça ne la dérange pas de passer plus de 24 heures sans s'alimenter, elle ne ressent pas la faim. Elle se force pour manger désormais, c'est de la survie, c'est une “obligation”. Mauvaise période sûrement dû au stress et à la fatigue…
Elle a commencé ses cours lundi, ça fait presque 4 ans qu'elle n'avait pas foutu un pied dans une salle de classe. Les élèves qui l'entourent ne l'intéressent pas trop, de toute façon, elle n'a pas envie de parler et elle n'est pas là pour se faire des amis.
Le détail “rigolo” c'est que son premier cours porte sur la nutrition, les carences, et les différentes sortes d'éléments nutritifs… Elle a envie de vomir.
Ça lui fait bizarre de retourner derrière un bureau… Au bout de la première heure elle a déjà envie de bouger, se lever, regarder ailleurs, créer de ses mains… Dessiner des horreurs dans la marge ? Non, c'est la première semaine, ça ne ferait pas sérieux… Faut pas se faire remarquer. Faut suivre… C’est tellement facile et pleins de bons sens qu’elle s’ennuie beaucoup pour le moment…
La prof’ lui demande de lire. La panique dans sa tête, la panique dans son corps, elle se met à trembler, le cœur cogne dans sa poitrine… Elle va encore bégayer, oublier un mot ou se tromper de ligne… L'expression orale c'est pas son fort, même avec un support… Elle n'a pas le choix… Elle se met à lire les 20 lignes qui lui semblent interminables parlant de protéines… Les autres se retournent, ils la regardent, elle a une voix bizarre, qui ne va pas avec sa tête, on lui a déjà dit plusieurs fois de toute façon, elle le sait… Elle lit, sans bégayer, sans buter sur un seul mot, sans rature dans la voix… Elle lit bien. C'est sa petite victoire d'aujourd'hui, elle a lu, devant toute la classe, avec une voix intelligible.

-Aëlnaute

THIS IS A LOT OF INFO, NO ONE EXPECTS YOU TO LEARN IT ALL AT ONCE. There are heaps of other irregular verbs, but this isn’t a bad list. Remember this is a Master Post so don’t get freaked out by the quantity of information. This is more for reference as you are learning.
WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW/TAKE AWAY FROM THIS:

-Learn the regular conjugations of -ER (e, es, e, ons, ez, ent), -IR (is, is, it, issons, issez, issent) and -RE verbs (s, s, nothing, ons, ez, ent)

-Learn these common irregular verbs by heart in the present tense: aller, avoir, dire, être, faire, pouvoir, savoir, vouloir, voir, prendre, mettre, tenir, venir, manger, appeler etc. 

NOTE: I know that not all of these irregular verbs are listed, but I will eventually add them when I have regained the will to live

WHO?

YOU!

WHAT?

You know what.

——————————————————————————————-

WHEN?/WHERE? aka USES of the present tense

- For things that you are currently doing/feeling:

Je marche dans la rue - I walk/am walking down (in) the street

Je suis fatigué(e) - I am tired

- For things that you usually do:

Je vais au parc tous les samedis - I go to the park every Saturday

Words associated with frequency of actions:

souvent (often)/chaque (every)/tous les + day of the week (every…)/toujours (always)/parfois (sometimes)/quelquefois (sometimes)/d’habitude (usually)

- For things that will happen in the immediate future

Il arrive ! - He’s coming

-For absolute/undeniable truths

La terre est ronde - the Earth is round

-To use during an analysis

Dans Le Père Goriot, Balzac peint un amour paternel passionné. (From Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

-For si clauses

Si je peux, je viendrai

-For descriptions

Les fenêtres donnent sur la rive de la Seine (the windows look out to the banks of the Seine)

HOW?

Aka how to conjugate verbs in the present tense:

——————————————————————————————-

-ER Verbs - FUN FACT(S)! 

-They are the largest category of French verbs - over 80% of French verbs end in ER, but many everyday verbs are irregular

-15% of ER verbs have spelling changes

CONJUGATING REGULAR -ER VERBS: model verb- parler (to speak)

Je parle 

Tu parles

Il/Elle/On parle

Nous parlons

Vous parlez

Ils/Elles parlent (BEWARE!!!! The -ent is silent, it is pronounced like parle)

Overview: regular er verb endings - e/es/e/ons/ez/ent

CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -ER VERBS: 

Aller (very irregular but very important *tears* - there’s no rhyme or reason, you just have to learn it)

Je vais

Tu vas

Il/Elle/On va

Nous allons (regular ending <3)

Vous allez (regular ending <3)

Ils/Elles vont


CONJUGATING -GER VERBS: model verb- manger

There is a spelling change in -GER verbs to maintain the sound of the verb

other -GER verbs: bouger, changer, charger, diriger, interroger, loger, mélanger, nager, obliger, partager, protéger, ranger etc. (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

Je mange

Tu manges

Il/Elle/On mange

Nous mangeons - the e is added to keep the ‘zh’ sound that the ‘g’ makes

Vous mangez

Ils/Elles mangent


CONJUGATING -CER VERBS: model verb- commencer 

other -CER verbs: avancer, annoncer, forcer, lancer, placer, renoncer etc. (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

Je commence

Tu commences

Il/Elle/On commence

Nous commençons - the cedilla is added to keep the c soft

Vous commencez

Ils/Elles commencent


CONJUGATING -ELER and -ETER verbs: model verb- appeler and jeter

other -ELER and -ETER verbs: épeler, étinceler, ruisseler, renouveler etc.//feuilleter, cacheter etc. (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

J’appelle

Tu appelles

Il/Elle/On appelle

Nous appelons (regular ending <3)

Vous appelez (regular ending <3)

Ils/Elles appellent 


Je jette

Tu jettes

Il/Elle/On jette

Nous jetons (regular ending <3)

Vous jetez (regular ending <3)

Ils/Elles jettent

SPECIAL CASES FOR PREVIOUS VERBS: model verb- acheter

other verbs like this: geler, haleter, peler etc. (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

The consonant isn’t doubled, rather an accent grave (è) is put on the e

J’achète

Tu achètes 

Il/Elle/On achète

Nous achetons

Vous achetez

Ils/Elles achètent


CONJUGATING -OYER, -UYER AND -AYER VERBS: model verb- envoyer

Other -OYER, -UYER AND -AYER verbs: employer, noyer, tutoyer etc.

appuyer, ennuyer, essuyer etc.

balayer, effrayer, essayer, payer etc. NOTE: -AYER verbs can use both -aie and -aye conjugations e.g. je paie AND je paye

(list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

J’envoie

Tu envoies

Il/Elle/On envoie

Nous envoyons

Vous envoyez

Ils/Elles envoient

——————————————————————————————-

CONJUGATING REGULAR -IR VERBS: model verb- finir

Je finis

Tu finis

Il/Elle/On finit

Nous finissons

Vous finissez

Ils/Elles finissent

OVERVIEW: regular -IR verbs end with: is, is, it, issons, issez, issent

CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -IR VERBS: model verbs: VOULOIR, SAVOIR, MOURIR, FALLOIR, acquérir, apercevoir and s’asseoir

other verbs like vouloir: pouvoir, valoir

Je veux

Tu veux

Il/Elle/On veut

Nous voulons

Vous voulez

Ils/Elles veulent


Je sais

Tu sais

Il/Elle/On sait

Nous savons

Vous

Ils/Elles


Je meurs

Tu meurs

Il/Elle/On meurt

Nous mourons

Vous mourez

Ils/Elles meurent


Il faut - this is an important verb, it means one must/you need to

other verbs like acquérir: conquérir, requérir, s’enquérir (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

J’acquiers 

Tu acquiers

Il/Elle/On acquiert

Nous acquérons 

Vous acquérez 

Ils/Elles acquièrent 


other verbs like apercevoir: concevoir, décevoir, percevoir, recevoir (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)

J’aperçois

Tu aperçois

Il/Elle/On aperçoit

Nous apercevons 

Vous apercevez

Ils/Elles aperçoivent


Je m’assieds/m’assois

Tu t’assieds/t’assois

Il/Elle/On s’assied/s’assoit

Nous nous asseyons/assoyons

Vous vous asseyez/assoyez

Ils/Elles s’asseyent/s’assoient

NOTE: I think you can use whichever form you like. I prefer the second, however to a guest or a student I would say assieds-toi (sit down)/asseyez-vous (sit down [formal]). 

CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -ILLIR VERBS: model verb- cueillir

other -ILLIR verbs: recueilir, accueillir etc.

Je cueille

Tu cueilles

Il/Elle/On cueille

Nous cueillons

Vous cueillez

Ils/Elles cueillent

——————————————————————————————-

CONJUGATING REGULAR -RE VERBS: model verb- attendre (to wait [for])

(Regular -RE verbs are a very small group)

J’attends

Tu attends

Il/Elle/On attend

Nous attendons

Vous attendez

Ils/Elles attendent

OVERVIEW: regular -RE verbs end in: s, s, nothing, ons, ez, ent


CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -RE VERBS: model verbs: FAIRE

Je fais

Tu fais

Il/Elle/On fait

Nous faisons

Vous faîtes

Ils/Elles font


CONJUGATION IRREGULAR VERB ÊTRE (TO BE) ********** vvvvvvvv important

Je suis

Tu es

Il/Elle/On est

Nous sommes

Vous êtes

Ils/Elles sont


CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -PRENDRE VERBS: model verb- prendre

other -PRENDRE verbs: appendre, comprendre, entreprendre, s’éprendre, se méprendre, surprendre etc. (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Teyssier)


Je prends

Tu prends

Il/Elle/On prend

Nous prenons

Vous prenez

Ils/Elles prennent


CONJUGATION IRREGULAR -URE VERBS: model verb- conclure

other -URE verbs: exclure, inclure etc.

Je conclus

Tu conclus

Il/Elle/On conclut

Nous concluons

Vous concluez

Ils/Elles concluent


CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -UIRE VERBS: model verb- conduire

other -UIRE verbs: construire, cuire, déduire, détruire, enduire, induire, instruire, introduire, produire, réduire, séduire, traduire, luire, nuire etc. (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Tessier)

Je conduis

Tu conduis

Il/Elle/On conduit

Nous conduisons

Vous conduisez

Ils/Elles conduisez


CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -AINDRE VERBS: model verb- craindre

Other -AINDRE verbs: plaindre, contraindre

Je crains

Tu crains

Il/Elle/On craint

Nous craignons

Vous craignez

Ils/Elles craignent 


CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -EINDRE VERBS: model verb- peindre

other -EINDRE verbs: atteindre, ceindre, enfreindre, éteindre, étreindre, restreindre, teindre (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Tessier)

Je peins

Tu peins

Il/Elle/On peint

Nous peignons

Vous peignez

Ils/Elles peignent


CONJUGATING IRREGULAR -RIRE VERBS: model verb- écrire

other -RIRE verbs: décrire, inscrire, prescrire, transcrire (list from Nouvelle Grammaire du Français by Y. Delatour, D. Jennepin, M. Léon-Dufour, B. Tessier)

J’écris

Tu écris

Il/Elle/On écrit

Nous écrivons

Vous écrivez

Ils/Elles écrivent

Je ne suis pas douée pour les rencontres. Elles me fatiguent, elles me tombent des mains avant même qu'elles n'aient lieu. Je préfère écouter les conversations des tables voisines, faire semblant de me plonger dans un livre pour mieux entendre, autour de moi, bouger la vie des autres.
—  Nita Rousseau

Bonjour tout le monde !

I had an idea in mind few days ago. I wanted to make one animation using two programs : Flipnote Studio and TVPaint, and this is the result !

It was an amazing experience for me because working on two programs that are totally different made me understand how I can work on each and find solutions between them.

For this animation I drew on my DSi and my Cintiq13 HD, the two screens are totally different and I had to switch each time from the larger one to the smaller and vice versa, it was interesting !

Now you can see how I animate with colors, I do love colors a lot so for this animation I used plenty of it but I have to train on them now x)
I still animate the same way even if I use another program =)

I shall post more colored one on Tumblr or even adding colored vs pixels GIFS in the futur !

Thank you for watching !! By the way, all the animation is a loop, it have no end ^^ !


And thank you for the Huge support !! I can’t describe how amazing this is and I have to thank you for everything you give me !! I will work even harder on all of my next posts !

Il faut bouger ses noix de coco maintenant =)

The title of the song is : Shake your coconut ! By Junior Senior =) !

Elle était adorable tu sais. Elle était discrète, presque transparente, tout le monde parlait, et elle les écoutait, elle semblait rêver. Elle était à l'écoute, elle donnait quelques conseils, toujours des encouragements, pourtant ses conseils étaient banales, évidents, mais dans sa bouche ça semblait pouvoir tout surmonter. Et puis elle avait cette manière de faire des choses banales, des véritables exploits. C'est vrai, quand quelqu'un racontait une action dont il était fier, cette gamine allait en faire des tonnes, le rendre roi, le mettre sur un piédestal comme s'il avait réaliser un exploit. Elle etait émerveillée de tout cette nana. C'était une passionnée. Elle a compris qu'avant de parler il fallait écouter. Qu'il suffisait d'être attentif pour comprendre se que le monde peut nous apporter. Elle paraît joyeuse décrite comme ça n'est ce pas? Mais parfois, d'un coup, d'un seul, ses demons la rejoignaient. C'était imprévisible, il suffisait d'un coup de vent et son monde basculait. Elle devenait froide, insociable, intouchable. Une vraie poupée glacée. Et un jour, ses pensées noires ont tué la passionnée. Elle était morte de l'intérieur. Elle était tourmentée, comme flippée. Elle qui rêvais de faire les 400 coups, elle n'osais plus bouger. Jte dis, elle était complètement éteinte. Elle a essayé d'être heureuse tu sais. Mais c'était comme essayer d'allumer de la neige. Oui voilà, elle essayait de rallumer son coeur, et au lieu de se rallumer, il fondait, et un jour, il ne restait plus rien. Tout le monde l'avait senti , c'était la fin. Et elle est partit, ses tourments ont eu raison d'elle. Elle était adorable tu sais, mais la vie l'a achevée, éteinte, tuée.
"La contradiction est un art dans lequel l'être humain excelle par sa bêtise".

J'avais envie de mettre cette phrase là. Je la trouve plutôt représentative. Si tu la lis et qu'en voyant la photo tu te sens visé, outré, alors prends quand même le temps de lire tout le pavé que je mets derrière. A moins que tu veuilles le prendre de travers et réagir au pifomètre et à côté de la plaque (oui en général c'est le plus facile à faire). Ce pavé me permettra peut-être aussi de faire comprendre, à ceux qui s'y retrouvent plus ou moins, ce que je me dis dans ma tête quand j'entends leurs réactions, ce qui me hérisse le poil, ce qui me paraît illogique. Tu as le droit de ne pas être d'accord ! Tu es libre, je te considère comme mon égal et mon opinion n'a pas plus de valeur qu'une autre, saches-le ! C'est ce qui est bon dans la différence et la liberté d'expression.

En parcourant un peu le net, je tombe souvent sur des articles assez variés concernant des violences de tous types. J'ai remarqué que lorsqu'il s'agit de violence dans un couple ou envers les animaux, les commentaires font preuve d'empathie, de révolte, de colère et j'en passe.

Plus récemment j'ai lu des commentaires sur des articles concernant les VEO. Oui les VEO, tu sais bien, les “violences éducatives ordinaires”. Une discipline très en vogue en France mais qui est déjà devenue obsolète dans plusieurs pays qui nous entourent (et où les enfants restent polis, courtois, bien élevés, etc…).
La majorité des français qui réagissaient à ces articles trouvent cela normal de frapper de temps en temps les gamins…. “pour qu'ils sachent qu'ils ont fait une bêtise, qu'il comprennent que c'est pas bien, qu'il faut pas recommencer, bla bla blaaaaaa…..”. Alors, à moins qu'on ne m'ai pas prévenu, je pense pas que le cerveau se situe dans le cul des enfants !!!! Bon en général, ce sont les même qui pensent que l'enfant fait des “caprices” dès qu'il sait bouger un cheveux ou gazouiller…. tu vois le genre… Ceux qui tiennent pas compte de l'avancée des études qui existent depuis une bonne vingtaine d'années au moins.

Je vais pas me faire porte parole de la bienveillance et la parentalité positive. Premièrement parce que c'est un sujet vaste que beaucoup survolent sans vraiment comprendre - ces derniers pensent qu'il s'agit d'un schéma à respecter à la lettre pour ne pas être vu comme de “mauvais parents”  alors que la méthode est simplement de prendre en compte l'enfant comme un être vivant, avec des émotions, des peurs, etc… Et deuxièmement parce qu'il s'agit de trouver des solutions différentes et sans violence pour se faire comprendre, guider son enfant, lui montrer l'exemple et l'aider à se construire. Chaque enfant étant différent, il s'agit pas d'adapter SA méthode coute que coute mais de comprendre, tenter, essayer….
Mais quand même, va falloir m'expliquer pourquoi frapper un enfant c'est normal alors que quand il s'agit d'autres types de personnes ou d'êtres vivants c'est horrible.
Et je ne jette la pierre à personne. Moi aussi j'ai donné des fessées, moi aussi j'élève la voix, moi aussi, moi aussi….. Mais je fais tout pour ne pas en arriver là et quand c'est le cas, je ne considère pas que c'est un défaut de mon enfant, c'est de MA FAUTE. Parce que la fatigue, parce que les nerfs, parce que la peur…. Mais ça ne change en rien que c'est un acte violent.

[Idem pour les vegans qui ne comprennent pas pourquoi on parle de violence quand il s'agit d'animaux dits “domestiques” et pas quand il s'agit du reste (vache, cochon, poule, poisson). Et ils ont tout à fait raison ! Je ne suis pas vegan mais j'ai conscience que ce que je mange est un bout de cadavre. Alors je ne fais que quelques efforts sur mon alimentation, mais j'en fais beaucoup ailleurs (habits, chaussures, matières que j'achète).]

Ce qui m'importe c'est surtout que, même si chacun est “libre”, il faudrait peut-être qu'un jour on prenne conscience que la violence c'est de la violence.
Au même titre qu'un viol n'est pas un problème sexuel, au même titre qu'une agression n'est pas un problème de jalousie, au même titre qu'un meurtre n'est pas un problème de vengeance….. Tout cela c'est de la violence.

Alors tu va peut-être me dire : “Ouais enfin sur les fesses c'est pas non plus douloureux, c'est pas comme une gifle”. Ah…. donc un mec qui fout son pénis dans la bouche d'une victime c'est moins grave que s'il la pénètre ? La nana qui insulte sa collègue tous les jours c'est moins grave que si elle lui foutait un coup de temps en temps ? - astuce pour trouver la réponse à cette dernière question : même si c'est pas physique c'est du harcèlement, de la violence… -

Je vais pas te dire que tu es un mauvais parent, ou que tu l'as été. Parce que dans le fond on fait tous ce qu'on peut. Et c'est pas forcément naturel ou facile d'élever un enfant, un autre, un être vivant, un in-di-vi-duuuuuu.
Mais s'il-te-plaît. Arrêtes de parler de normalité quand on parle de coups. Qu'il s'agisse du plat de la main, comme du poing. Qu'il s'agisse de crier, de dénigrer, de rabaisser…. Parce que tu es la BASE sur laquelle ton enfant va se reposer et se construire.

Apprends à dire je t'aime, à féliciter, à encourager, à retenir ta main, ta colère. Et s'il faut que ça pète, trouves un autre moyen de le faire ! Il y a toujours quelque chose à faire.

c’pas pour être brutale mais ça fait un peu pitié nos législatives, … plus de 50% d’abstention pour élire les représentants du peuple? ???? ?? Il me semble que peu importe ton bord politique tu puisses avoir envie de voir tes intérêts défendus dans l’hémicycle. Mais non, les gens en ont juste plus rien à foutre. 

Ou alors, En Marche ça leur allait bien et, comme ils étaient convaincus du résultats il ont pas voulu bouger leur cul de chez eux pour aller voter. C’est vrai qu’il faisait bien chaud hier.

Ils peuvent dire que tu es naïve, inconsciente, peut être même foutue, tu t'en fou. Parce qu'ils n'ont pas pas ton vécu, ils n'ont pas ton passé, ils ne savent pas se que tu as traversé. Embrasse qui tu veux, c'est toi qu'il regarde, pas ta pote, arrête de douter, ai confiance en toi, t'es belle, même au naturelle, agis, c'est ta vie, ton futur, c'est toi qu'à le stylo dans les mains pour écrire la suite, c'est toi le maitre de ton destin, c'est à toi de bouger, d'oser. T'es trop jeune pour te casser la tête, invite quelques potes à une soirée, restes pas seule. Sors, fais ce que tu ne te serais jamais cru capable de faire, brise les règles, surprends toi, surprends les autres, fais toi une place dans ce monde, qui sont ils pour te rejeter, pour t'exclure, t'isoler? Ils n'ont pas leur mot à dire, tu as autant de droit que les autres, alors vis bordel. Dis toi que la vie est un parcours plein de problèmes mais qu'il y aura toujours une solution, que rien n'est jamais totalement noir, relève toi et fonce.
Ça craint, je suis qu'une gamine en manque d'amour qui se plaint de sa ptite vie. Je devrais me bouger, arrêter de faire ça parce qu'avec le temps, j'ai bien compris que ça ne menait à rien. Mais nan, je reste là, planquée dans ma chambre à avoir peur du temps qui passe.
—  Royalumos