luke: darth vader this is luke skywalker calling. im calling to let you know- Message Erased

luke: fuck.

luke: darth vader this is luke skywalker. im calling to let you know how disappointed i am in your story……how horrible you-

yoda: YOU LIED

luke: STOP 



luke, now crying: dar th vader thsi is l uke skwyalker calign……,,,im calling to let you know there were many thin gs i read in here that were FALSE. like yo u said i wo re six inch custom mad e bothan fur padded heels to bespin…,,, with my “pantone 448 colored poncho” when i wore a poly cotton twill fabric fall 2017 jacket se t….




Rose and Finn’s adventure takes them to, among other places, another Johnson innovation: a glittering casino city called Canto Bight, “a Star Wars Monte Carlo–type environment, a little James Bond–ish, a little To Catch a Thief,” the director said. “It was an interesting challenge, portraying luxury and wealth in this universe.” So much of the Star Wars aesthetic is rooted in sandy desolation and scrapyard blight; it appealed to Johnson to carve out a corner of the galaxy that is the complete opposite. “I was thinking, O.K., let’s go ultra-glamour. Let’s create a playground, basically, for rich assholes,” he said.

Canto Bight is also where viewers will get their multi-species fix of gnarled aliens and other grotesque creatures, a comic-relief staple of Star Wars movies since Luke Skywalker first met Han Solo amid the cankerous and snouty inhabitants of the Mos Eisley cantina. The Last Jedi is dark enough as it is, so Johnson has made a point of infusing the movie with levity. “I didn’t want this to be a dirge, a heavy-osity movie,” he said. “So one thing I’ve tried really hard to do is keep the humor in there, to maintain the feeling, amid all the heavy operatic moments, that you’re on a fun ride.” [x]

The Last Jedi Trailer Breakdown

* Please note that the following breakdown contains some potential spoilers for the movie - they’re mostly based on inferences and rumours, but you probably want to skip this post entirely if you’re spoiler-averse. *

I’m exhausted (I woke up way too early to watch that trailer!), but I knew I couldn’t rest until I had done this. There is so much to unpack here, so you’ll have to excuse me for omitting some things (mainly space battles) and skimming over others. 

I’m sure I’m wrong with a good chunk of this, but this is all meant in good fun.

I hope you enjoy my first stab at breaking this baby down - if you think it can be improved or spot anything that needs to be corrected, please let me know.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Alex Goddamn Paknadel instructed us all to seek out your take on Rogue One and I have no idea where to look. Help.

It was in my newsletter ( last year, and it’s not one that’s in the archive. Do sign up if you like this kind of thing.


I started Sunday Morning with the 11am showing of Rogue One at South London cultural institution that is the Peckham Plex. It was the last showing. It was one of the last showings in London. It’s the first time I’ve seen a film twice in the cinema since Fury Road.

I like it a lot. My one-line tweet review ROGUE 10/10 captures my basic feelings, but second time through, things are always going to change. You can’t cross that river twice. You change. The world changes. In the last month, more than most.

But I found it as effecting as first time, on average. Some bits more, some bits less, over-all similarly wet eyed. But it’s lingered in a different way. First time, I came out in a giggly fanboy rush. Second time, I’m pretty much crushed.

Being a working writer, I’m unpacking and trying to reversely analyse choices, and doing my own rewrites to make what I think the effect it’s looking for more efficiently. It’s just something I do, and have done for the vast majority of my life. It’s certainly true towards the end the tangle of game-logic makes it top heavy, and (as always happens when you explain so much) leads to even more questions . You can question the integration of all those fighter pilots into the final act, leaning into the “not a star wars film unless there’s a dogfight at the end” (I felt them weakest bits of Force Awakens, but landed better here for reasons I’ll go into…)

But underneath all that, I can’t question it too much, as I see its point and the reasons for doing so. That’s why we talk about choices, as it’s really about what you choose to prioritise. It’s all done to make the movie turn into a relay race, a chain of buckets. If any one individual doesn’t do their small thing, it fails, and the future for a galaxy far, far away is the Empire’s jackboot, forever.

This rebellion isn’t about one kid getting a lucky shot . This rebellion is about all those individual choices and moments of heroism enabling the kid to get to a place to take that shot. It is many Bothans, writ large. None of the people who died knew that what they did made a difference. Some knew if they hadn’t done it, it’d have failed… but none knew for sure. They went to their graves ignorant. It could have all been for nothing.

To that end, the ballooning of viewpoint characters becomes the point, those pilots as real as anyone else, the actors commitment to those fragments of time meaningful. And as we pull away from our cast, we come to the final scenes, with those nameless Rebellion troops being cut down by Vader, one by one. Look at the details as Vader looms out the dark. The half-lowering of the guns as each consider just not doing this.. and then raising as they decide they have no choice.

Any of them didn’t slow down Vader for a half second, the Death Star survives. Any of them.

Which leaves me aware that’s all we can do when facing fascism in the dark. We have no idea if what we do make a difference. But it may. You have to believe it may.

Imagine Sisyphus watches the boulder tumble back, time and time over. Imagine the centuries, millennia of frustration. Imagine taking a breath, stepping up to its familiar form, and rolling that boulder again.

You wonder why he does so.

He knows that, against all his history, one day maybe the boulder won’t tumble back.

Hope is all we have, but hope - whether new or old – can be cruel.

A compilation of Bothan-Spy Posts from Reddit



(you’ve been warned)

DISCLAIMER: Do not share these on social media (FB or Twitter) or tweet LF employees about these. You could get someone in trouble.

This isn’t new to those who follow spoilers but…

For all curious, these are the links to Bothan-Spy’s posts that reveal EXTREMELY accurate leaks, predicted MANY months in advance of the confirmation of these details.

I want to provide this as a resource, because I have had a lot of people ask me to link them to these posts in my discussions/metas or in private messages.

Feel free to peruse - there are details left yet in these leaks that haven’t been “confirmed.” But SO MUCH of these were accurate that we can trust it, I believe. The user even confirmed that the release of most of the info would take a year… and it did, with the trailer and promo!

Finn’s jacket design - pictures released have confirmed this as accurate. Providing this link to show how reliable this source is. Also, info about new STrooper guns.

Some info on Luke/Ahch-To - Looks like this post was removed - but the comments are interesting at least.

Reylo conversation + Luke explodes (literally) in anger - The conversation itself hasn’t been confirmed anywhere else as far as I know, but the accuracy of the huts and the reliability of this poster’s other posts lead me to believe this is a scene to be expected in the film - though what they’re talking about, why, and HOW they get to this point is still a mystery. Very promising for a Kylo redemption and for Rey and Kylo to potentially become allies though.

SOMEONE(s?) LOSES A LIMB!! - And Finn does the dirty work. Phasma loses an arm - but ALSO:

Also, let me specify before it gets said below, while I know THIS particular character loses a limb, that does not mean she is the ONLY character who loses a limb.

**Me: ((worries about Kylo and that poor Skywalker tradition…))**

Crait Info before anyone knew about Crait - This is the one that convinced most people this poster was worth trusting. The teaser trailer confirmed the accuracy of their posts so well it’s pretty undeniable that this person had real sources. I also find this sentence in particular interesting regarding Phasma’s amputation:

This injury is not inflicted upon her by Rey or Luke or even Kylo, but by Finn.

This is interesting because it could imply we should expect Rey, Luke, and Kylo to be around when Finn does this. Obviously that’s just speculation on my part, but this person has noted they have a lot of information they can’t share because it compromises their source… so… it’s possible they had a bit of a slip there, associating other characters who might be present at that time in the plot.

Also this:

[…] Apparently it is specifically an act of revenge [by Finn].

This makes me think he is exacting revenge on behalf of Rose or her sister.

Anyway, just some links and some of my own thoughts on these leaks. Feel free to add your own thoughts, or if you have found any more posts (this is all I’ve ever found) let me know! If you know of any more (reliable) sources, also let us know!

Note that as of now, the best sources for leaks that we know of are Bothan-Spy and Making Star Wars. They are the most reliable and consistently accurate.

Anything else I’d look at with GREAT skepticism - especially if it’s a fanbro from Youtube… (Mike Zeroh, for example)