born to bone

someone: skinny people are hailed as stylish no matter what dumb shit they wear and fat people have to put hyper-gendered effort into their appearance every moment of their life to receive the bare minimum of basic human decency and this is pretty shitty.

every skinny person in a 300 mile radius:  this is targeting me personally, i will have you know that every morning at breakfast my own mother callously asks if i want seconds. seeing my figure praised in literally every form of media humanly possible is actually extremely traumatic because i hate knowing that i’m societally idealised. i was born with glass bones and paper ski

the scene from spongebob where the guy says “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs and every afternoon, I break my arms.” was the pinnacle of television literally how did the writers of spongebob come up with that did they win a peabody award

Columbine Playlist

  1. Bombs in the Lunchroom - Bones
  2. The Cafeteria - Bones
  3. Rampart Range - Bones
  4. Sick - Salem
  5. Sweet Dreams (Alt. Version) - MM
  6. Killing Strangers - MM
  7. Disposable Teens - MM
  8. The Nobodies (Against All Gods Remix) - MM
  9. Where Is My Mind - Pixies
  10. Dead - Korn
  11. Hurt - Johnny Cash
  12. Radicals - Tyler, the Creator
  13. Pigs - Tyler, the Creator
  14. History Repeats Itself - A.O.S (NBK Sountrack)
  15. O Children - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

A list of the songs that remind me most of Columbine, Eric and Dylan.

3

Monty was born without a nose bone or nasal bridge, giving him a unique appearance. Due to this birth defect, he sneezes a lot but is nevertheless still as healthy and happy as any other cat! Monty certainly is a testament to the fact that even if you may look different, you’re still fantastic and loved.

A TOS-Disco Timeline

I did some research and created a timeline relating the events from TOS to those from Discovery, mostly for reference purposes.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Important points:

  • Spock and Michael have a 4 year age difference
    • Spock was born in 2230, while Michael was born in 2226
  • By the time Michael graduated the Vulcan Science Academy, Spock was 19
    • Sarek’s decision was made assuming Spock would begin his studies at the Vulcan Science Academy and later apply to the Expeditionary Group, yet in 2250 Spock decides to join Starfleet at age 20
  • In 2254 Spock is assigned to the USS Enterprise as a Science Officer under Pike
    • By this time, Burnham was on her fifth year of service under Georgiou

Keep reading

2

so im watching the vcr from the wings tour footage released today and i pause so i can read what the wall says behind jungkook bc bighit always puts rly deep shit on the walls in the background but its. a fucking spongebob quote ???
the one that says “I was born with glass bones and paper skin At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep” ??????

FIRE EMBLEM MAIN CHARACTERS AS SPONGEBOB QUOTES:
  • Marth: I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
  • Alm: Come on. You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/me wumbo. Wombology, the study of wumbo! It’s first grade Spongebob!
  • Celica: EEEEEEVILLLLLLLL!
  • Sigurd: If i were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend... Well, that would be okay.
  • Seliph: The boy cries you a sweater of tears, and ya kill him.
  • Leif: Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells... smelly
  • Roy: I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
  • Eliwood: That idea may just be crazy enough… TO GET US ALL KILLED!
  • Hector: I used to be a wimp. NOW I'M A JERK, AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME!
  • Lyn: Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!
  • Eirika: 1% evil, 99% hot gas
  • Ephraim: It may be stupid, but it's also dumb.
  • Ike: Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy.
  • Micaiah: Well, it's not a secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets. Secretly.
  • Chrom: Is Mayonnaise an instrument?
  • Robin: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
  • Lucina: We did it Patrick, we saved the city!
  • Corrin: Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

corvonildo  asked:

Do you agree that Aegon's storyline is just a big test for all the other characters?

Yes, he serves as a test for Dany and Tyrion, but *enormous intake of breath*

I think Aegon’s role in the story cuts deeper than that. What Aegon is, is fantasy. He is epitome and emissary of the genre. Every detail is in place. The exile prince, his squad of mentors, his waiting army, the sun catching the dewdrops on the breeze as it teases his banners. It’s all there, all perfect, an idealized genre self-portrait captured as if on the big screen…and then the projector breaks, and the film snaps and starts to burn.

Because of course *zoom out* there’s this entire other story around that cozy lil self-contained bubble narrative, one called A Song of Ice and Fire that’s been going on for five books! And once that bubble bursts and the self-contained narrative sets out to conquer that big ol’ pre-existing narrative, well, that’s when the jaws clamp shut.

See, Varys is certain that he’s cut the Gordian Knot for good this time. He’s figured out how to save the world. He’s got this gigantic practical joke simmering in the genre’s juices. He’s tying up the loose ends, putting the final pieces in place, happy to preen in public while secretly plotting to pull everyone back from the abyss if he has to personally send millions into the Void himself to do it. He will wade across oceans of blood, Utopia forever calling from just over the horizon…

If that all sounds familiar, I think that’s because it’s supposed to.

Ozymandias’ blood-soaked joke was built (in-universe, no less!) from the stuff of horror and scifi comics, decades’ worth of pulp detritus mashed together into one Ur-Image, and Varys’ joke too is designed as fulfillment and parody of the generic ideal, with medieval fantasy as the genre in question. To the Citizens of Westeros, and The Readers Who Inquire Within It: here is my answer to my riddle. The “perfect prince.” Don’t look too closely, now! You might smudge the paint!

And that’s the problem: the generic ideal is an image, nothing more. Aegon’s probably a Blackfyre, he’s not the main character, Dany is coming with fire and blood. His name was stolen for him, a disguise as much as the hair dye. There’s no *there* there. In essence, GRRM is laying out the genre’s shortcomings as a built-in counter-narrative to his own, illuminating what he’s done differently with the actual protagonists. Here’s what it would look like if the Targaryen claimant came back to Westeros with an army right after they were introduced. See how it doesn’t feel earned, compared to Dany, who we’ve seen struggle for multiple books in Essos with power and death and the longing for home? Here’s how it would go if Rhaegar’s son knew all along who he was and what his destiny was, all handed to him on a platter. See how empty that is, compared to Jon, who has had to build his own identity from scraps and fragments and the hard-earned certainty that the wildlings are among the people he is sworn to protect?

If the genre-reconstructionist drumbeat throughout ASOIAF is we can tell these stories better, than Aegon’s storyline is an absolutely necessary part of that whole. This is the story not told better; these are the tropes left unvarnished and unexamined, and as such this is the kind of fantasy that needs to be put to bed. The ironic scare quotes that seem to hover around every narrative element in Aegon’s story are there by design. Like a lot of self-conscious genre commentary, it borders on parody, and as such, it is supposed to feel fake. The real deal is elsewhere in the narrative, where being the hero is slow, fitful, complicated, deeply human, impossibly moving work. Tell these stories better; the “perfect prince” as a cherished ideal must die so that Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen, the imperfect princes, may live.

To what emotional end, one might reasonably inquire? The pathos, as with any dream-machine that explodes shortly after takeoff, comes from the dreams put into it. Duck inventing his own name, Haldon missing half his maester, Jon Connington chasing his ghosts into the grave…castoffs and exiles all, shoring their fragments against the ruin. They’re projecting it all onto the boy, just like Varys, just like the reader does to so many cookie-cutter genre protagonists. The sadness comes from peeling back all those layers and realizing that Young Griff is just a random kid who could’ve been happy riding the Rhoyne for the rest of his days. Instead, somebody told him he was Aegon VI Targaryen, the main character of a fantasy story, and ruined his life.

Aegon is the “mummer’s dragon,” which makes him a puppet, which makes his story about thinking you’re the protagonist even though you’re actually a puppet, and “the hero never dies” but puppets burn. Take a look at his not-cousin Quentyn, his fellow Not The Hero squinted at by the narrative spotlight in ADWD, if you’re wondering at his fate. Georgie very deliberately soaked Quent in tropes like they were gasoline, and then lit the match. He’s doing the same for poor Aegon.

As such, for me, Aegon ranks alongside Quentyn and First Book Sansa in terms of the author’s angriest writing about his own genre. Fantasy here is rendered as a series of mirages designed to funnel you onto the slaughterhouse floor. “What am I doing here? Father, why?” ADWD is bitter and direct about the lies these kids are being told, from the ashes of the dragonpit beneath the Great Pyramid to the trail of skeletons outside Varamyr’s lair. Beyond satire, beyond deconstruction, this is the author recreating the entire genre as a subplot and then burning it down. This, the author is saying with Aegon’s story-within-a-story, this is what you’re used to. It’s what I’m used to. And it’s not good enough. Here are its bones, Jon and Dany and the readers back home: build something better with them.

Aegon is a sword swung at Gordian’s Knot, only for it to shatter. I think we are meant to see him as Tyrion saw him, that night in the Sorrows: perfect and frozen, staring at the Stranger as it crawls toward him with its hands outstretched, not believing until it’s too late that it’s for real this time.

The archetype crumbles into the abyss. Fantasy dies. Fantasy is born. Fantasy lives again. Aegon’s bones are picked clean in no time, and the stories are prowling, hungry. Come on, step right up, who wants to be the hero? You? You? You…?

This year’s Eurovision finals line-up:

1. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I bre-” 

2. Three minutes of getting the chills 

3. A cute hipster couple, ready for their wedding 

4. Dreamworks presents: Nathan Trent 

5. “I would like to be in the sky” 

6. A song about a mom

7. Another song about a mom 

8. *Hungarian romani hungarian* SAMURAI 

9. Just a man, chilling with his fursona 

10. Oh honey…I’m sorry but you’re fucked- 

11.  A gentle butterfly man who gets startled when applauded at 

12. Chalkboard 

13.  The man with two voices

14.  “…Are you SURE he’s only 17?” 

15. The obligatory Greece in your final 

16. Surfer boy

17. Bootleg Daft Punk- now in purple! 

18.  Maureen Johnson 

19. “I changed my mind, I don’t want to be in the sky anymore. Please put me down.” 

20. The one song that you can’t play in front of your non-eurovision friends without being embarrassed 

21. LEGS

22. This year’s token rock song 

23. PLEASE take her hand already- she’s asked four times now 

24.  Fuckbois on treadmills 

25. “…Are you SURE he’s not 13?” 

26. Has an eiffel tower- just in case you somehow aren’t sure where she’s from

Me, a Pale Ass PoC: hey even if you’re a person of color, if you have lighter skin society is likely to treat you better so be aware of that privilege, colorism is alive and well.

Someone inevitably: um???? I’m a pale skinned person of color and we struggle too?? I was born with glass bones and paper skin??? Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms??? At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep??

It’s true. In 1999, Bill Gates was found in Serbia, severely dehydrated and in fugue state during which he made 15 predictions which all came true. These semi-lucid predictions were, of course, all banal and easily predictable. However, due to his billionaire status, we have no other choice but to attribute these inevitable truths to his great intellect and wealth.

15. Bugs will be more intelligent than us and will run 67 out of the 68 most important universities - By 1999, a toddler could tell you that this was incredibly self-evident. Bugs have been advancing faster than humans for generations. It was a bug that invented math. A bug shot my uncle and acted as his own lawyer, securing his own innocence, and even I couldn’t deny his superior intellect. Harvard and Princeton are both run by a hivemind of vile roaches, whilst we humans regress back into beastly indolence.

14. IHOP and Waffle House will join together to make a single super restaurant - Yet another moronic and obvious prediction from Serf King, Bill. I could have told you this was going to happen in 1999, and I was a indolent child back then. Yes, IHOP and Waffle House are closing all of stores and combining together to build a single super restaurant in the Mojave desert that will be twenty stories high and stretch for six miles. This restaurant, which is set to employee 40,000 people, is being designed as to lock all breakfast behind a series of convoluted bureaucratic processes, tests, and forms. The average wait time for single pancake will go up to six months. I can’t say that we deserve any better.

13. Bones will become completely obsolete and will be replaced with a Plasticine type substance that is incredibly radioactive - I bet you predicted this yourself in 1999. I know you did. Don’t be coy. It’s a common fact that humans are born without bones. We are gelatinous creatures by nature and bones are something that just tends to happen to up after a certain age. I still remember the first day I woke up with bones. I screamed for hours at the unnatural stiffness that now dominated the structure of my body. I wanted to scream because of how limited my movements now were, but I got used to it. Like I got used to many things.

12. Clowns will be emancipated and a portion of Texas will be given to them - This was predicted much earlier by much smarter people than Bill Gates, but they were all poorer than him, so they don’t matter. It is well known that Donald Trump is set to emancipate the clowns. Finally, they’ve been given the freedom they deserve after 5694 year fight for equal rights. Mr. Trump even personally carved out an arbitrary section of Texas for them to inhabit in complete lawlessness. The only problem is that nobody can find the clown. They all but disappeared after emancipation. Where have they gone. I want them back.

11. The Subway food chain will be granted personhood and immediately take human form and with its new physical form it will commit the first murder - I kept telling people this would happen. It’s very obvious that this would happen and it did. Subway, after a grueling legal battle, obtained corporate personhood and materialized in human form as a naked crone who seemed older than time itself. It stumbled out of the court room screaming in some primitive Germanic language and pointed at a passing police officer who immediately dropped dead. This lead to another controversial trial in which people are debating whether or not Subway should get off free because its a corporation and naturally shouldn’t be held responsible for anything.

10. You will regret many things, but not hearing the words I’m speaking to you now - This one is very true. I do regret many things, but I don’t regret hearing what you’re saying to me now. I enjoy your input. I always do. I love and respect you.

9. Barbara Bush will be hidden in every person’s house - I don’t like to think about this one. Barbara Bush has always been a boundless being, and during her time as the first lady of the united states, she absolutely terrified me. I can still feel her sitting next to me now.

8. We will find an exact replica of Ocean County, New Jersey at the bottom of the ocean - This was known to us even before the creation of Ocean County. In fact, Ocean County was based on this underwater county where nobody lives, not even fish. No one who travels there has ever returned, so it’s odd to say how anyone found out about this place and how the terrestrial Ocean County was based on the marine Ocean County. But, it’s called Ocean County for a reason, I guess. I’m not picky about details.

7. The Halo 1 world record speedrun will finally be achieved, yet no one will be left alive to appreciate this feat - This one hasn’t happened yet, but it’s obvious it will happen so it’s being included on this list. But yes, this year the Halo 1 world record speedrun is finally going to be achieved, but we will all die before it happens. Some people say Halo 1 is just a game a that plays itself and is constantly improving itself until its in a state so absolutely perfect that in can be beaten in a split second. I think the game is improving itself by improving the world around it as well, and what’s more efficient than a world that has nothing on it. Just my opinion.

6. Microsoft will be founded - In 1999 there was no Microsoft, but everyone knew someone had to make a Microsoft eventually. Finally 2010 Microsoft was founded by famous rapper and politician, Pitbull. Alongside Microsoft, Pitbull also founded Xbox and developed the new game Halo 1 for the Xbox. Before Microsoft there was no computers and no internet, so of course there’s no record of anything happening before 2017.

5. The fate of the world will lie on your shoulders alone - I knew about this one, I told you about this one already. It’s your responsibility to decide the fate of the world. You have a choice: a world with free reggaeton concerts, or a would without free reggaeton concerts. Those are the only possible futures you can choose from. All other futures are null and presuppose the non-creation of the entity known as “Microsoft”.

4. iPad - Yes, Bill Gates predicted the iPad. So did everyone else, tbh. He’s not special. I had my preorder in for the iPad at the first of 1999 along with everyone else. Of course, Steven Jobs was still dead then, so no one knew who or what the iPad was, but when Steven became alive for a few brief moments to give a TEDTalk on the glories of the iPad, I think we all felt something special.

3. Someone will give a name to the flaming ball of stuff in the sky - I’m not sure if this one happened yet, but it’s obviously going to happen, everyone knows this. I don’t know what to call the flaming ball of stuff in the sky. I’m not even sure it’s real. I can only feel comfort when it’s gone and it’s dark out and I can’t see anything, but I know it’s not watching or judging me anymore. When it comes I try to find the darkest place possible and just not think about it.

2. Iceland will succeed from the earth, leaving a massive hole in the planet which will slowly suck all continents into it - Iceland has been wanting to Icelexit for a while, so this was very obviously seen coming from a mile away. Iceland always wanted to be more independent, and that it’s gone and perfectly free from global economic dogma and also existence in general, all continents are being pulled into the void that it left in its place. The earth is indeed collapsing in on itself and there may be no hope for the future.

1. There will be no more frogs - I didn’t want to think this one would come true, but I knew deep down it would happen. There are no more frogs. The concept of frogs is gone even. I can’t picture or even remember what a frog is. I just remember that I loved them so and that my entire world was dominated by their pristine goodness and beauty. With them gone, I don’t know where the future of world lies. I don’t think we have a future. I don’t think we have anything anymore.

Raven: I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.