That's my jam

I love games of 40k and AoS and can see no reason I won’t love playing 30k once I get the chance BUT I looooooooove it when a game has a sense or persistence. My attachment to characters and the game sky rockets on an equal curve to my stress and dread that something bad will happen to said character.

I wish I was able to play those games more often but as it is I rarely get to play at all and normally it’s just a vanilla game. I’d love to be able to play more BloodBowl or Mordheim or any ruleset that adds in a “this game will have an impact on the next game” mechanic. Shadows of Armageddon looks like it will scratch that itch and I already own the models to field a couple different factions in that. The reality is though that the ideal gaming space in my house is right under my daughters room so if I try and have an evening game odds are she’s going to wake up at some point. If I have a daytime game then because she’s so amazing and inquisitive and keen to spend time with her dad (all amazing not complaining) those games tend to become stressful as I’m apologising for her to my opponent even if I know they get it and I know it’s not bothering them. Of course the alternative is to go out to play games. But in a classic case of wanting to have my cake and eat it I miss spending time with my family and feel so guilty about essentially ditching them so I can play games…

Long story short there are so many games I want to be playing right now but for now at least I’ll be sticking to painting while my daughter is asleep and my wife is at work.

To this day I do not know if my dad picked up on the desperation with which I asked him about the dentist in the film version of Little Shop of Horrors, but I hope and pray to God that he took my fervent inquiries as to whether the movie version “was like THAT” as we left the stage play as some kind of obsession with adaptational purity and not me having an excruciating moment of sexual awakening

Dear Universe,

I tell myself that some day all the good energy I’ve sent out into you will come back to me. 

If I have any say in the matter, I hope it comes either as a magic pay-off of my student loan debt or in the form of a boyfriend. I will happily accept either, no questions asked.

In the meantime life goes on, broke and single.



I’m watching frozen with some friends at the moment and I spend half of the time complaining that willemijn is not the German speaking voice (she just dubs the songs but not the dialogue). The other half I am fangirling about her voice. I need someone who understands my problems…

Я терпеть не могу писать сочинения, особенно, когда на это дается немного времени, вот сегодня на ЕГЭ по английскому у меня была тема “It’s easier to make friends than to keep them”, я минут пять просто сидела и не могла придумать, что я могу на это сказать, что можно написать об этом в нескольких абзацах, с тремя аргументами “за” и двумя “против”. Я очень надеялась, что мне попадется какая-нибудь нейтральная и не слишком общая тема. А на такие идиотские утверждения мне хочется ответить, что “it depends”, и что я не знаю, и все. Я долго ломала голову и написала что-то очень глупое в итоге.
А по литературе я писала про черты романтического героя в Печорине. А по русскому мне попался отрывок из Людмилы Улицкой, про то, что люди не понимают друг друга, и, кстати, два года назад на ГИА мне тоже попался отрывок из ее “Зеленого шатра”, мне это было приятно, потому что я люблю Улицкую, а этот роман прочитала всего за пару месяцев до того.
Мне осталось два экзамена, самых для меня сложных, и я пока предпочитаю не думать о своей жизни. Мой брат (ему 10) начал играть в Скайрим, мне тоже стало интересно, и теперь я играю в Скайрим больше него. За прекрасную и отважную нордическую деву. Целыми днями я только и делаю, что играю, читаю книжки, глажу кошек и листаю картинки в интернете, и мне спокойно, но рано или поздно это должно кончиться, и мне очень-очень страшно задумываться о том, что будет потом, и принимать решения, и поддерживать отношения с людьми - сейчас я совсем не понимаю, что мне от кого-то нужно, и что им нужно от меня… Кажется, я все испорчу…

Everyone post pictures of your eyes. When I look at people I like to look at their eyes and their hands.

Virik decided to message me at 5 AM this morning asking a random question about the color of my eyes (our friendship is just like that). I showed him some pictures. Strange, but unless you’re very close to them, they look black.

(I took this picture ^ by mistake and don’t remember what I was trying to accomplish just then.)

But when they catch the light they look different:

Sometimes there’s too much light and this happens.

I queued this because I figure anyone hanging around Tumblr at 4 AM is desperate for new content and won’t mind stupid pictures of my eyes.

Caryl AU NaNoWriMo 2016

So, I’ve been lying low for two days because my nose has been super stuffed, but I’m beyond sick of being sick, which is why I’m just pretending now that everything’s okay.

And I need to share this because I’m so excited about it. :-)

I have no idea if anyone else has made a post about it already (??? @alatarielgildaen , @geektaire , @na-bruma-leve , @saedhriel ???), but the five of us are teaming up for mutual support and are participating in NaNoWriMo. Each one of us has decided on her personal word goal and on what to write, and I cannot wait for November.

Since I have several WIPs weighing me down, I have decided to spend November writing (and, if possible, finishing the first drafts for) the following stories:

Fireball Chronicles - 6 chapters published, 11 written so far - Warrior Carol and Mage Daryl in a D&D inspired fantasy world, conceived for the Fic War during the winter 2015/16 TWD hiatus, plot is at 19 right now :-(, this was supposed to be short?!?

Sand in your fingers - 5 chapters published, 6 written so far - my Western entry for the NL AU challenge in July 2015 *hides in shame* in which Daryl is a bounty hunter tracking down Philip Blake’s band of villains and passing through Bitter Creek along the way which is where Carol lives.

Endurance - 9 chapters published, 11 written so far - my response to a NL prompt in which Carol and Daryl - and assorted other characters - leave Earth on a space ship to colonize a new planet; I’ve just found a suitable planet for them in the habitable planets database, so I hope I will make some progress with this again now.

I will start with Fireball Chronicles and, if possible, finish writing the first draft for this one. Once I’ve finished the draft for FC (*pained grin*) I will continue writing Sand, and if there is any November left after that (*humorless laught*) I will continue with Endurance. Please note that my writing partners are also my beta readers, so there will be no posting for any of these in November since they will obviously also be busy writing.

Right now, I am in the process of wrapping up the rough plot for Fireball Chronicles, and once I am done with that and have added some more details so the plotting work is done by the time I start writing, I will move on to fine tuning the plot for Sand and then finishing the plot for Endurance until the end of October.

November is for writing only, so editing and beta reading will start in December for all of us, and once the first chapters have been through that, I can resume posting these stories, and I hope to finish them soon for they are great fun to write, but I just keep getting distracted by new ideas - they’re like mushrooms in fall. 

I have another unpublished AU sitting in my Google Docs, but in view of the above I don’t really believe that I will find any time for that - and that’s okay since it’s unpublished, so I won’t lose any sleep over that one. :-)

Maybe I should unfollow all the prompts and sci fi art blogs that I am following … they keep inspiring me which is not a good thing for my WIPs.