jin stans: older than 20. mature. beautiful. think theyre funny. theyre not. everyone likes you, you think they dont but they do dont worry. take a lot of food pics.

yoongi stans: lgbt. love cats. are sad and soft inside but tsundere af. stop being so sarcastic please. fights with the teacher for fun. are adorable but only with ppl they know.

hoseok stans: soft. pretty. amazing. too pure for this world. i love you. youre perfect. you smell good. hoseok stans for president 2020. there is literally nothing bad about you.

namjoon stans: sexy and perfect if youre a girl, straight and lowkey annoying if youre a boy. protect them, theyre soft and get hurt easily even if they seem tough. beautiful like a galaxy. trips a lot.

jimin stans: too extra chill pls there is no need. supportive. sensitive but will cut a bitch if it’s necessary. theyre effortlessly hot teach me. have a temper™

taehyung stans: go away with your hipster shit. art hoe, music hoe, fashion hoe, also just a hoe. have like a thousand facebook friends and they actually talk to them all consistently, like how? confident.

jungkook stans: cute. seem bitchy but theyre really not so dont hate them for it. would take a bullet for their friends. generous. cry easily. smart af. 

Weird Human Things

Breastfeeding

Jaal: Human females seem more… Curvy than their male counterparts..

Ryder: Are you asking why we have breasts?

Jaal: …Perhaps.

Ryder: *Laughs* They’re for feeding babies.

Jaal: What?

Ryder: Our mammary glands produce milk for babies!

Jaal:

Baby teeth

Jaal: Humans have multiple sets of teeth?

Ryder: Well, kind of. We’re born with no teeth, we grow a set of ‘baby’ teeth. Then in childhood all those teeth fall out and our permanent set grow in. It can be painful and bloody.

Jaal: That sounds terrifying. 

Static hair

Jaal: Ryder your hair is floating

Ryder: Oh, yeah that happens sometimes.

Jaal: *confused cat face*…What!?!

Blushing

Jaal: Ryder! Your colors are changing!

Ryder: It’s just hot Jaal. Humans turn red sometimes.

Jaal: So, this is normal?

Ryder: Kind of. Blushing can signify distress, but It’s usually no big deal.

Jaal: Distress? Are you not well? 

Ryder: I’m fine Jaal, it’s just hot here 

 *Sometime later after certain saucy scenes* 

Jaal: Ryder, Are you in distress?! Your colors! 

Ryder: *Laughs* No Jaal, I’m fine. 

Freckles

Jaal: Why do some humans have spots while others do not?

Ryder: Spots?…Oh, you mean Freckles.

Jaal: Freckles?

Ryder: Yeah, just genetics. Some human’s just have…spots. *Ryder smiles*

Talk and Walk

Jaal: Why is Liam pacing the ship?

Ryder: He’s on a call Jaal.

Jaal: ??????

Ryder: Oh, human’s like to lap their homes while on calls.

Talking to animals

Pyjak: *squeak*

Ryder: *Squeak!*

Jaal: What are you-

Ryder: Shhh! I’m talking to my child.

Jaal: ?!?!?!

Microwave

*Liam sprints desperately to the kitchen*

Jaal: What’s going on?

Ryder: *dead serious* He has to stop the microwave before it hits zero or it explodes.

Jaal: WHY WOULD HUMANS DESIGN SUCH A FAULTY DEVICE?!?!

Ryder: *Laughing*

Jaal: an…Idiom?