borderline neglected

Childhood emotional neglect: Questionnaire

Do you:

Sometimes feel like you don’t belong when with your family or friends?
Pride yourself on not relying upon others?
Have difficulty asking for help?
Have friends or family who complain that you are aloof or distant?
Feel you have not met your potential in life?
Often just want to be left alone?
Secretly feel that you may be a fraud?
Tend to feel uncomfortable in social situations?
Often feel disappointed with, or angry at, yourself?
Judge yourself more harshly than you judge others?
Compare yourself to others and often find yourself sadly lacking?
Find it easier to love animals than people?
Often feel irritable or unhappy for no apparent reason?
Have trouble knowing what you’re feeling?
Have trouble identifying your strengths and weaknesses?
Sometimes feel like you’re on the outside looking in?
Believe you’re one of those people who could easily live as a hermit?
Have trouble calming yourself?
Feel there’s something holding you back from being present in the moment?
At times feel empty inside?
Secretly feel there’s something wrong with you?
Struggle with self-discipline?

If you relate to 6 or more, it indicates your emotional neglect was extensive.

**This is not a standardised psychological test but based on Dr Jonice Webb’s clinical experience**

Having a parent repeatedly tell you “the world doesn’t revolve around you” as a child can be very damaging when you consider that, as a child, your parents ARE the world.

Today’s epiphany. Whilst discussing peoples’ habit of infantilising people with BPD but neglecting to put that to any good use.

When dealing with children suffering trauma, people recognise that they need reassurance, validation, love and nurturing.

When dealing with a so-called childlike Borderline, people label our behaviour as ‘attention-seeking’ and become dismissive, invalidating and cruel.

You can’t tell people that seeking help is the first step to recovery and then dismiss us as attention seekers when we seek attention.