Peach Vodka Lemonade Punch

Ingredients & Measurements:

  • 1 cup Lemon Juice
  • ¼ cup Simple Syrup
  • 2 cups Water
  • 1 cup Peach Vodka
  • Sliced Peaches

Instructions:

In a pitcher, mix together lemon juice, simple syrup, and water. Adjust taste as necessary (more simple syrup, more lemon juice, etc). Stir in the peach vodka. Pour the drink over crushed ice and garnish with sliced peaches.

A toast to the inevitability of the universe

PERCY: We’re having a toast to the inevitability of the cosmos.
VEX: A toast? We’re toasting? At a time like this?
PERCY: We are.
KEYLETH: Look, there’s never not a good time to toast.
KASH: Better time to toast than when the world is gonna end?
KEYLETH: Exactly.
PERCY: The world is not going to end yet.
ZAHRA: We might as well celebrate what we’ve got.
KEYLETH: I toast to celebrating the end of the world with the best friends we could possibly have.
PERCY: No no, here, I have something to say to this. I have something to say.
KEYLETH: Alright, come on Percy.
PERCY: When one is born into gentry, one is born with an innate sense of destiny…
KEYLETH/KASH: *groan*
PERCY: …an innate sense that the world is moving in a direction–
SCANLAN: FUCK THE DRAGONS!
PERCY: We have been given a direction to move to actually defeat our foes, we have been given a sign, we have been given something to move for. There is an inevitability to the goodness of the universe.
GROG: Inevetability.
PERCY: Cheers to that.
KEYLETH: There is something to fight for, dammit!
SCANLAN: FUCK THE DRAGONS!
PERCY: Fuck the dragons!
KEYLETH: Fuck the dragons!
ZAHRA: Here’s to fighting for something more than just money.
GROG: Inevetevility.
VAX: I would rather be with you all than the finest people in the world.
PERCY: Cheers.
KEYLETH: Cheers to that.
GROG: Inevebevel.
ZAHRA: And if you find them, let us know.
KASH: I agree with you, the inevitability of the universe. The problem is the inevitability is that it’s always shit.
KEYLETH: Kashaw! That is such a terrible way to look at things!
PERCY: There’s stones that are thrown upon the river, but the river always moves.
KASH: It’s true, but you’re not talking about the fish that’s killed by the stones in the river.
PERCY: No, that rots into dust.
KASH: We’re the fish.

Critical Role Episode 43: Return to Vasselheim

Because of the alcohol-snubbing Mormon church, Utah has a fairly adversarial relationship with booze. We say adversarial because the state hates the sale of alcohol, yet has a monopoly on the wholesaling/retailing of many kinds of alcohol. Their control of the supply also allows them to control how people are allowed to drink, which is why you can’t get alcohol anywhere after 1 a.m. And while you can get alcohol served to you in restaurants, you are not allowed to mix drinks in an area where you can be seen by anyone, which has led to the creation of the hilariously named “Zion Curtain.”

Essentially, any restaurant that serves alcohol has to make the drinks in a “separate space” from where the patrons are seated, because innocent Utah souls should be protected from witnessing the devilish rituals that make vodka bearable to drink. Thus, many places have a sort of separate area in the bar, surrounded by curtains or frosted glass or well-trained guard elephants, where bartenders mix their drinks. We’re not sure why the booze needs a privacy screen, but maybe slushing two drinks together is a bit too close to alcoholic premarital sex for Mormon tastes.

After what we assume was lots of campaigning and laughter from the citizens of Utah, the state finally passed a law this March to “remove” the Zion Curtain requirement, though what it really did was make the curtain one of three equally stupid options.

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