Meet The Nutcracker, the fruity, boozy and illegal drink that’s a New York summer classic.
(source: Circa)

The Bright Side Is:  White people found out about something and didn’t act like it’s brand new or ignore the colored folks who came up with it.  Finally.  They even have the guy who invented the Nutcracker in the video making one of his originals.

The Downside Is:  Now the cops have to bust you because it’s not underground anymore. 

NYPD has known what Nutcrackers are for decades – they just tend to look the other way because they have other things to worry about it.  Some guy walking up and down the beach going “Nutcracker, Nutcracker” isn’t really that big of a deal.  He’s not saying “I got illegal booze for y'all.”  But now, that guy is essentially saying just that because it’s so widespread now that white people made a video about it to tell all the other white people about it. 

I don’t really get annoyed by white folks taking cool brown stuff and participating in it – because we’re fucking cool, OK? – but once you take something Brown & Underground and tell your white friends, it’s no longer Underground, so if it was technically against the law (though not hurting anyone) it’s now so mainstream that the police have to bust you. 

This is just like white kids in Brooklyn selling food out of their homes without a license.  Minority communities have been doing it for a hundred years (partly because we weren’t even allowed in restaurants, and partly as a source of income because we couldn’t find jobs) and the cops always looked the other way.  Now Tia Juanita can’t sell her pasteles on the porch in Bushwick because Mary Louise put up a website to sell artisan sandwiches in her living room and too many people found out.

If you see something Brown & Underground, try to let it stay that way.  Word of mouth is just fine.  There’s no reason to try going viral on the Internet because now you just ruined it not only for the brown folks making a living from it but for yourself as well.  This will be the only time I address this particular issue because I like for our underground things to stay underground and I don’t want to participate in the exposure.  However, since outdoor drinking in NYC has been decriminalized (meaning you probably won’t be arrested, but you might get a ticket) the cops still look away for the most part even if they know you have booze.  Your “Nutcracker, Nutcracker” guy might not announce his presence anymore, but you can still just find the guy dragging a cooler.

(But if I see some white guy selling Nutrackers in glass bottles for $20, it’s on.)

The Joker

Serves 1

3 oz. grape Jolly Rancher-infused vodka (see below)
¼ oz. lime juice
Seltzer

To make the infused vodka: Unwrap 10–12 purple Jolly Ranchers and put them in a sealable jar or bottle. Add 1½ cups of vodka, seal, shake, and let sit overnight or until candy fully dissolves when you shake the bottle. Chill until ready to use.

Add 3 oz. infused vodka and lime juice to a Collins glass with ice, stir, and fill with seltzer. Garnish with lime slice.

4

Drunken Bolsheviks and the Greatest Hangover in History,

On October 25th, 1917 Bolshevik soldiers and sailors stormed the Winter Palace in St. Petersburg, former home of the Russian Czars.  Among the wealth and grandeur of the palace, the revolutionaries stumbled upon perhaps the greatest treasure of the Romanov Dynasty; Nicholas II’s personal wine cellar, which housed the largest collection of fine wines, liquors, and cordials in the world.

Having thousands of heavily armed men and civilians in the proximity of the largest cache of booze on the planet was certainly a big problem for Bolshevik officers and politicians.  Already Bolshevik soldiers were carting out kegs and bottles, beginning a Bolshevik boozing spree that would quickly get out of hand.  At first Bolshevik leaders considered blasting the cellars with high explosives, however it was feared that this would severely damage the palace.  Finally Bolshevik leaders ordered the cellars be barricaded and placed under heavy guard while the booze was disposed of.  At first the booze was hauled out in crates to be dumped, however convoys tasked with this duty were ambushed by drunken soldiers and civilians. Finally it was decided to simply pour the booze down the drain.  This plan failed when people by the thousands gathered around the palace drains with buckets.

Finally, the large drunken Bolshevik mob stormed the Winter Palace a second time, easily overwhelming the guards and overrunning the cellar.  Immediately, St. Petersburg erupted into an orgy of drunken rioting and looting.  Boozed up Bolsheviks began fighting or having sex in streets. Rape and murder was common, so were brawls and shootouts among heavily armed soldiers. Many people were killed by stray bullets as soldiers fired their weapons into the air in celebration.  Martial law was declared and a Bolshevik army was dispatched to gain control over this situation.  However, this did little as many of the oncoming soldiers joined in on the fun. After about a month of alcohol induced chaos, the booze ran out, and order was restored in St. Petersburg.  The resulting hangover must have been terrible.