boom. roasted

J I M 🔥Y O U R E 🔥6'11 🔥A N D 🔥Y O U 🔥 W E I G H 🔥9 0 🔥P O U N D S 🔥G U M B Y 🔥 H A S 🔥 A 🔥B E T T E R 🔥 B O D Y 🔥 T H A N 🔥Y O U 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 D W I G H T 🔥 Y O U R E🔥 A 🔥 K I S S 🔥A S S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 P A M 🔥Y O U 🔥F A I L E D 🔥A R T 🔥 S C H O O L 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 M E R E D I T H 🔥Y O U V E 🔥 S L E P T 🔥W I T H 🔥 S O 🔥M A N Y 🔥G U Y S 🔥Y O U R E 🔥 S T A R T I N G🔥T O 🔥 L O O K 🔥 L I K E 🔥 O N E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥K E V I N 🔥 I 🔥C A N T 🔥D E C I D E 🔥 B E T W E E N 🔥 A 🔥 F A T 🔥J O K E 🔥A N D 🔥 A 🔥 D U M B 🔥 J O K E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 C R E E D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 T E E T H 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥Y O U R 🔥 B R E A T H 🔥 S T I N K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H E R E S 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H O A 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 I 🔥 D I D N T 🔥 S E E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 B E H I N D 🔥 T H A T 🔥 G R A I N 🔥O F 🔥 R I C E 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 S T A N L E Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 C R U S H 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 W I F E 🔥 D U R I N G 🔥 S E X 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 H E A R T 🔥 S U C K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y 🔥 A N D Y 🔥 C O R N E L L 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥 T H E Y 🔥 T H I N K 🔥 Y O U 🔥 S U C K 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y E R 🔥 T H A N 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 E V E R Y B O D Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 G U Y S 🔥 A R E 🔥T H E 🔥 R E A S O N 🔥 I 🔥 W E N T 🔥 I N T O 🔥 T H E 🔥 P A P E R 🔥 B U S I N U E S S 🔥 S O 🔥 U H 🔥 G O O D N I G H T 🔥G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 A M E R I C A 🔥 A N D 🔥 G E T 🔥 H O M E 🔥 S A F E 🔥

tarot adventures

my cards: something is going to happen!!!!!
me: like what?
my cards: something big!!!!!!
me: ok but like what is it?
my cards: something you can’t go back from!!!!!!!
me: you’re being very vague
my cards: we’re not vague you’re just not listening

Jim, you’re 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you’re a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys you’re starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela, where’s Angela? Well, there you are. I didn’t see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted.

Color Guard Director Things

So we have two color guard directors, one is a married thirty year old short woman. The other is a tall ass gay af college student who’s so sassy it pains me. We’ll call the first one A and the other R.

Here is  the incomplete list of things they have said that really just, stuck.

“Hold your leg up! Your buttcheeks need to be clenched! If you had a grape between those cheeks, it’d better be squished!”-A

“Dam-I mean Dang it Alyssa I’m not going to follow you back on instagram. I’ll follow Brayden though.”-R

“Ya like jazz?” -R

“MY CATS LAID ON MY PANTS DO YOU SEE THIS I HATE MY CAT” -A

*plays britney spears in the middle of rehearsal* -R

*during leg excersises while playing music* “OH WELL IMAGINE AS I’M PACING A ROOM IN A CHURCH CORRIDOR AND I CAN’T HELP BUT TO HEAR NO I CAN’T HELP BUT TO HEAR AN EXcHANGING OF WORDS…WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING SAYS A BRIDESMAID TO A WAITER, BUT WHAT A SHAME THE POOR GROOMSBRIDE IS A-” *switches song* “-LOVELY WOMAN” -R

“LoOK.” *aggresively shoving pictures of his dog to the guard -R

“Sweetie. Please don’t eat your hair. You’re going to look like dancing chewbaca.” -A

*while teaching how to do a hand stand and shirt falls down* “DON’T LOOK AT MY TUMMY ROLLS I HAVEN’T WORKED OUT”-R

“boom. Roasted as the kids say.” *another student telling him he’s only 20* “I am a granpa already. Can you see this gray hair.”-R

“Don’t be a flexed foot felicia. Don’t be a dropping Deborah. Don’t be an Off-Count Octavius.”- R

Who Would Ever Think They Would Fall In Love? Part 2 (Series) (Bucky x Reader)

Characters: Reader, Bucky, and The Avengers

Summary: Steve brings you into the team of Avengers, and you couldn’t be more excited. The only problem is Bucky. He doesn’t seem to get along with you…that is until Steve assigns him as your trainer. Things take an amazing turn when you and Bucky are assigned on a mission.

Word Count: 1, 351

Warnings: None

Part 1     

Waking up, you realized that you weren’t in your room. You were in The Avengers Tower. It put a smile on your face knowing that you were safe. You got up and stretched…then it hit you. You completely forgot about your little interaction with Bucky last night. You groaned and fell back on your bed. No way were you walking outside that door. It was embarrassing enough to see Bucky half naked, but it was another thing that you stared. Why did you stare?

There was a knock on the door. You sat up in bed and smoothed out your hair. “Come in.” It was Steve. He smiled and walked over to your bed. “Hey sleepyhead. How was your first night here?” You grinned widely. “It was great. I can definitely get use to this.” He chuckled, “Well I came in here to let you know breakfast is ready and everyone wants to meet you.” You groaned and grabbed a pillow to hide your embarrassment.

Steve looked at you. “Y/N? Are you okay?” You crept out from under the pillow and asked, “Is Bucky out there?’” He gave you a confused look. “Yea. Everyone is.” You sighed loudly. “Steve. There is no way in hell that I am going out there.” Steve laughed at you. “Y/N, look he is not that rude. I promise he just needed a good night’s rest.” You rubbed the back of your neck. “That’s not the problem. I-I, uh, well…I might’ve, sorta, seen Bucky naked last night.”

Steve belly laughed. He put a hand on your shoulder. “Geesh, you were really trying to make things better weren’t you?” You smacked him in the ribs. “No Steve. Just no. All I wanted to do was brush my teeth. I opened the door without thinking and there he was. Naked and going to the bathroom.” Steve was still laughing. “It’s ok. You’re new, and accidents happen.” You gave him a sour look. “But why me? I am just making things worse with him.” Steve gave up on trying to talk to you so instead he picked you up and hauled you over to the closet. “Get dressed and be downstairs in 10 min. Suck it up buttercup. You’ll be seeing a lot more of him with the way you two are.” He laughed and walked out of your bedroom. “Jerk” you said to yourself.

Steve was a great friend. But if he was trying to hook you and Bucky up, you are going to make his life a living nightmare. Then again what’s the worst that could happen?

_________________________________________________________

Taking the elevator down to the common room, you walked into the kitchen where The Avengers were having breakfast. It was very different seeing them all in their “lazy” clothes and not in their typical gear. Steve rushed over to you and grabbed your hand. “Everyone! I’d like you to meet y/n. She is my new agent and will be working with The Avengers.” Tony walked over to you and grabbed your hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you y/n. I see you and Capsicle are starting to hit it off.” You looked down and realized that you and Steve were still holding hands. You both dropped your hands quickly. “No. We are just friends.” You assured Tony.  

Bucky was over in the corner and snickered after you said that. Why was he like this? It made you mad.

Clint walked over next and grabbed you in a big bear hug. “Hey pipsqueak! How are ya? Nice to be one of us now right?” Clint was your only friend at S.H.I.E.L.D. You and him would always have little training exercises and would hang out around the compound. “I’m good. Yea it’s so cool. I want to thank you, Tony, for making my room so nice.” Tony smiled back. “Actually that was Nat’s idea. I just got you the furniture.”

Nat walked over to the other side of Clint. “Hey y/n. I’m Nat. I thought it would be nice to have a female decorate your room considering these boys don’t know jack squat about making rooms look nice.” Bruce piped up. “Hey! Way to be sexist Nat!” Nat and Bruce were a couple ever since Sokovia. Nat was Bruce’s weakness which was beneficial when he needed to calm down after being The Hulk.

Nat winked at him and looked back at you. “So, y/n, I heard you were a pretty good fighter. I’d like to test you on that.” You were honored considering she was THE Black Widow. “Yea that would be awesome. I’m really good with hand-to-hand and also at shooting my target thanks to taking lessons with this doofus.” You punched Clint in his side causing him to wince. “Gee thanks y/n.” Clint chuckled and walked back to his seat.

Thor was next. “LADY Y/N! IT IS SUCH A PLEASURE MEETING YOU!” He picked you up and spun you around. You couldn’t help but giggle. Bucky watched in jealously. “Dude, really? Sorry y/n, Thor is a sucker for hugs.” Tony rolled his eyes. Thor put you down. “I thought I was doing a favor in giving her an Asgardian welcome.” You thought about Thor’s brother Loki. He was captured while you were training at S.H.I.E.L.D. He was really cute to you, and you fell for him. You always fall for the bad guys. 

“Oh geez. Sorry y/n. I forgot that Vision and Wanda went out for breakfast. You’ll get to meet them later.” Steve assured you. Sam came up from the gym and saw you next to Steve. “You must be y/n. Steve told me so much about you. It’s nice for you to finally be here.” You smiled, “Yea it is.”

Steve looked around the room. “I think you met everyone.” Tony looked over at Bucky. “What about Terminator? Did she meet him yet?” Tony liked to call Bucky “Terminator” because of his metal arm. Bucky rolled his eyes at the nickname. “Oh, we met alright.” He glared at you. You groaned and covered your face with your hands. Tony looked from you to Bucky confused. “Ok, well y/n, I will get you all set with F.R.I.D.A.Y so she will recognize you. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” You waved to him, “Thanks Tony.”

________________________________________________________

Bucky could not take his eyes off of you, making you feel extremely uncomfortable. As everyone left to train or whatever, you and Bucky were the only ones left in the kitchen. You couldn’t stand the awkward tension anymore. “Look, I’m sorry for barging in on you in the bathroom. Now for the love of god stop staring at me!” You huffed and glared at him.

Bucky smirked sarcastically. “Oh I apologize. I thought that’s what you do best.” You knew what he was referring to and your cheeks turned hot. “Bucky, grow up already. There’s an invention called a lock. You should try it sometime.” He got up to clean his dishes. “Hey y/n. You have a hand; try using it to knock sometime.” You growled at him and pushed out of the chair. As you walked over to the sink, Bucky bumped into you causing you to lose balance. You fell right on your butt and spilled milk all over your shirt. He laughed at the sight of you, “Serves you right.” He started to walk away when he heard you sniffling.

You were still on the ground but this time you had your knees up to face with your head bowed. “Y/N? I was just messing with you. Are you ok?” He held his hand out to help you up. You looked up at him, and before he knew you pulled him down to the ground, causing him now to fall flat on his butt. You smiled and laughed, “That’s what you get for being a grouch in the morning. Have a nice day Buckaroo.”With a hair flip, you walked out of the kitchen swaying your hips.

Bucky looked at you in shock. He couldn’t help himself but smile. Maybe he was developing a crush. This meant war.

_______________________________________________________

Here it is…Part 2! 

TAG LIST (Open):

@superwholockian5ever

@a-common-name
  • Pidge: And I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people.
  • Hunk: What?
  • Pidge: Well, I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget.
  • [clears throat]
  • Pidge: Hunk, you're 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Kaltenecker has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Coran, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Matt, you failed at life. Boom. Roasted. Nyma, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Shiro, I can't decide between a dad joke and a 6 year old joke. Boom. Roasted. Allura, your hair called, saying that it is fake. Boom. Roasted. Platt, where's Platt? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Haggar, you crush your husband during sex and your magic sucks. Boom. Roasted.
  • Pidge: Lance, you are...
  • [starts giggling]
  • Pidge: Lance, you're gay.
  • Lance: Wow.
  • Pidge: Keith, Zarkon called, they think you suck and you're gayer than Lance. Boom. Roasted.
dating nct yuta!!121!! (again, on the right blog this time.)

yakisoba prince :“)
• takoyaki prince :”)
• YUTA is literally SO PRETTY YOU CANT HELP YOURSELF JUST, STARING AT HIM.
• yuta LOVES TO TELL YOU HOW PRETTY YOU ARE.
• YUTA IS SO SWEET
• YUTA SEES FLOWERS DURING HIS OVERSEA TRIPS AND TAKES PICTURES OF THEM AND SENDS THEM TO YOU BC THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL, BUT NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU.
• HE BUYS YOU LOTS OF MEANINGFUL AND SOME, REALLY UNMEANINGFUL THINGS. HE LOVES BUYING STUFF FOR YOU, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO SPOIL YOU. BC YUTA ISN’T ABOUT THAT LIFE.
• hansol is the best friend
• HANSOL LITERALLY ALWAYS MAKES FUN OF YOU AND YUTA. MAINLY YUTA. IT’S SO FUNNY
• “hansol, stop making fun of my boyfriend”
• “HE THOUGHT DRAGONITE WAS THE EVOLVED FORM OF CHARAMANDER. HE’S SO- YUTA FIGHT ME.”
• “IT’S ORANGE. THEY’RE BOTH ORANGE.” -yuta
• YUTA is super SWEET AND NICE AND GREAT
• but sassy
• let’s talk about his sass
• on a sass scale from 1-10, yuta is a jisung.
• “yuta, what are you wearing in this mv wth”
• “at least i can work it more than you can :”)“
• “this jacket brings out my shit personality”
• “baby, you don’t need a jacket for that :”)“
• "yuta, that drawing looks so weird, you should start over”
• “whoever drew your face should start over :”)“
• you hear johnny and hansol and jaehyun and mark yelling "BOOM. ROASTED.” in the background, every, time.
• yuta doesn’t know what it means. but he likes it.
• girl group dances with yuta is a thing
• dances with yuta is a thing
• dances with the bassbot members is a thing
• of course along with that, them laughing at you is also a thing
• sharing ear buds w yuta :“)
• GOING INTO CUTE KOREAN STATIONARY SHOPS W YUTA
• going sightseeing w together is one of you guys’ favorite things
• pictures pictures pictures
• yall are so photogenic like wth :’) im attacked
• ok but you know that moment when you feel all empty, hopeless and angry all of the sudden? yuta is the person you call or text and he comforts you and it makes you feel so much better
• that was random but it popped up and it’s such a yuta thing
• serious when he needs to be, happy and funny when he needs to be
• such boyfriend material
• YOU KNOW HOW MOST GUYS ARE LIKE "EW TAMPONS/PADS???? I CAN’T DO THAT THAT’S EMBARRASSING BABE”?
• YUTA LEGIT DOES NOT CARE, YOU NEED IT? HE’LL GET IT.
• but he’s not the type of boyfriend that things outside of the boy and gets you chocolate and sweets and ice cream.
• you ask for tampons/pads? that’s all the boy will get you :“)
• of course that doesn’t mean that he won’t get you all those things if you ask, he definitely will whine a bit but get it for you
• cuddles with yuta are almost nonexistent, meaning-
• you guys don’t cuddle but it’s technically a cuddle, like, he hugs you while you guys are laying down but it’s not a cuddle, YOU KNOW
• kisses w yuta are mainly on the forehead or nose.
• random english and japanese speaking
• yuta doesn’t like you fangirling over other groups or other idols in general
• he pretends to hate it when you fangirl or overly compliment an nct member, but he doesn’t really mind, as long as it’s not taeyong, bc if you fangirl over taeyong, it’s legit
• YOU GUYS RAISE A PUPPY TOGETHER
• IT’S YOUR NON OFFICIAL BABY
• YOU GUYS NAMED IT "mochi”
• you guys are like a newly wed couple
• YOU GUYS CO-SEND OUT HOLIDAY CARDS
• YOU GUYS HAVE A CALENDAR TOGETHER
• YOU GUYS SPEND SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER IT’S WEIRD TO SEE YOU GUYS NOT TOGETHER EXCEPT WHEN THE BOYS HAVE A CONCERT OVERSEAS
• MOVIE NIGHTS W YUTA ARE GREAT
• but it’s like baby sitting bc-
• “jaemin, why are you here”
• “….jeno.”
• “……what the heck jisung.”
• “this is our date night-”
• “who am i kidding, we can’t have a normal date night ever as long as im an nct member”
• saying “i love you” doesn’t really surface in your conversations too much, but it does from time to time, mainly over text or call. or when he’s been away for a long time and you first see him after him being away, or when he’s leaving for a concert or a company trip.
• he calls you “baby” a lot
• bc you’re his baby ;“)
• lots of dates in the park or just walking around town
• you call him "prince”
• bc he’s your prince ;“)
• or yuta. bc. his name’s yuta. and vise versa. pet names are pretty common too tho.
• not much, but you guys often go stargazing too
• omgggg story time, FIRST SNOW W YUTA
• ok so in korea, there’s this saying about love and the first snow fall of the year and seeing it with them. idk how it exactly goes but you get the gist of it
• ok so, you two were out on a coffee date, cute, small, little meeting. it was fun and kind of meaningless bc it hasn’t been too long since you guys first started going out.
• yuta liked you since you two first met, but not in a love way, like a friend, and vise versa but those feelings grew little by little as you two began seeing more of each other.
• so here you guys were, in a coffee shop, on the third coldest day of the year so far, reaching almost negative 10 degrees. drinking coffee.
• it was fun, there wasn’t very much talking but it was comforting and warm.
• you guys finished your coffee and started to head outside when suddenly there was a loud cheer on the other side of the street. someone yelled "SNOW! SNOW!” and you two looked up and there it was. snow.
• yuta smiled at you, but you were too busy admiring the snow and touching each little snowflake that your hands could reach.
• yuta them realized that his heart was beating and he didn’t feel cold at all in negative 10 degree weather when he was with you.
• you smiled at yuta and waddled back towards him like a little girl who was seeing snow for the first time in her life.
• you snuggled back up towards yuta and smiled “it got cold”
• yuta hugged you and wrapped his arms around you like a large drape.
• :“) that day was the day that yuta fell in love with you :”)
• OK IF Y'ALL MAKE FUN OF THE BOY’S CHIN ONE MORE TIME, YOU WILL CATCH THESE FISTS.
• he’s so friggin insecure bc people made such a big freaking deal out of it omg
• he always is looking in the mirror if he’s not looking at the crazy comments online and it just makes you so sad bc it’s still yuta. the guy in front of you is still yuta, so what’s the problem?
• he comes to you but yuta’s the type of boyfriend who doesn’t like voicing out his problems (like serious ones where he seriously is hurt) he just laughs and plays with you and that’s stress relief for him
• ofc you don’t shove the problem in the poor boy’s face if he doesn’t want to talk about it and is struggling alone. but you do hint at it and you don’t do it to make him feel uncomfortable, you DO IT BC YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY AND STOP COVERING UP HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE WITH A MASK.
• ok, yuta teaches you weird phrases in japanese, and tells you the wrong meaning for them.
• LIKE IT’S SO FUNNY, HE TEACHES YOU THE WORD FOR LIKE, “THE CORN CHURNS THY BUTTER”, AND LIES TO YOU AND TELLS YOU THAT IT MEANS “the soft glistening of the river water that reflects itself on the high sky”
• YUTA IS LITERALLY SUCH A WEIRDO.
• HE’S SO STUBBORN IN A GOOD YET LAID BACK WAY AND HE’S ALSO THE BOYFRIEND THAT’S LIKE SUPER SASSY BUT IS REALLY LAID BACK LIKE
• “let’s go outside.”
• “no, you stupid girl, it’s hot. im not about to sweat the hair dye out of my hair.”
•"please”
• “ok”
• YOU GUYS READ FANFICTION TOGETHER AND THERE IS LITERALLY NO SHAME
• “i wouldn’t do that” AND YOU LOOK AT HIM AND YOU’RE LIKE “yes you would, tf, you did this two days ago”
• YOU GUYS READ IT JUST TO MAKE FUN OF IT/HIM
• so many cute selfiessss
• you guys buy drinks together, selfie, you guys are out for coffee, selfie, you’re at his concert, selfie, you’re in a cafe together, selfie.
• HE HAS SO MANY PICTURES OF YOU THAT YOU’RE UNAWARE OF. HE TAKES SO MANY OFF GUARD PICTURES BUT HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH BC HE LOVES YOU AND HIS LOVE FOR YOU IS PURE.
• yuta is super open on his opinions unless they’re mean opinions, but still, and he is not afraid to tell you that he thinks you’re completely wrong and list the 12 reasons why he thinks so.
• “why are you even an idol, just be a lawyer”
• YUTA TEXTS YOU A BIT. YOU GUYS PREFER MEETING IN PERSON BUT YOU GUYS TEXT MORE THAN CALLING.
• “did u eat”, “no”, “why”, “because my friend took me to a yakisoba place and every time i look at it, it feels like im in a restaurant that cooks and serves your hair”, “bye”
• THERE IS A DEFINITE HEART NEXT TO YOUR NAME ON HIS PHONE, LIKE A TINY ONE, OR A STAR. DEPENDS MORE ON WHAT YOU LIKE.
• yuta is a dog person he is not a cat person he is an outgoing doggie person
• HE WANTED TO RAISE A PUPPY WITH YOU BUT YOU GUYS DIDN’T EVEN CONSIDER IT FOR A LONG TIME BC “OH GOD THE RESPONSIBILITY” -yuta
• but as it says so above like 40495967 bullets ago, you guys did get a lil pup and her name is mochi.
• why is teasing mark w yuta so much fun :“)
• doyoung is always on the verge of fighting yuta to the death bc he thinks that he can be sassier than yuta
• he could be, but yuta is naturally sassy, frankly there’s nothing doyoung can do at this point, he must give up
• yuta doesn’t read much but he loves it when you read stuff out loud to him it’s just, soothing
• you guys eat chicken together a lot it’s great
• YOU GUYS SHARE ONE DRINK ALMOST EVERY TIME
• you guys take lots of selfies of you guys in traditional clothing
• YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE BC SOMETIMES YOU GUYS PRETEND THAT YOU’RE IN A CHICKEN OR SODA CF AND YOU GUYS DO THE CHEESY COMMERCIAL LINES LIKE “so fresh, you won’t know what hit you”
• HE ALWAYS SAYS THAT YOUR EYES SEEM LIKE THEY’RE SPARKLING ALL THE TIME
• yuta tries to cook but most of the time he’s just like “order delivery”
• GROCERY SHOPPING W YUTA IS RARE BUT GOOD
• “WE NEED THIS”
• “NO. WE DO NOT NEED A BOILED EGG DISPENSER. STOP.”
• YUTA UNKNOWINGLY TOUCHES YOUR HAND A LOT AND HOLDS IT
• WHEN YUTA SAYS “I LOVE YOU” IT’S USUALLY MIXED IN W SOMETHING STUPID OR SOMETHING WEIRD BUT IT’S ALWAYS PURE AND GOOD
• BAKING W YUTA. YOU WISH THAT WAS A THING. WELL IT KINDA IS BUT THERE’S ALWAYS ANOTHER MEMBER OR TWO THERE BC PEOPLE DON’T TRUST YOU TWO TO DO STUFF ALONE, ESP THINGS THAT INVOLVE THE STOVE AND FIRE.
• NAKAMOTO YUTA NEEDS TO SMILE AND HE IS SMILING BC OF YOU AND YOU GIVE HIM HAPPINESS AND EVERYONE APPRECIATES YOU BC HE APPRECIATES YOU AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. MAKE HIM HAPPY. MARRY HIM.
• i forgot. weird adlibs, puns, and pick up lines. oddly, it brings yuta a lot of joy even though he’s like “ew stop that’s so gross”

OK ACTUALLY. IT DIDN’T DELETE EVERYTHING; MY PHONE’S JUST TRASH. I HOPE THIS IS OK. I THINK IT’S A LOT SHORTER THAN NORMAL AND PROBABLY NOT THE BEST THAT I’VE WRITTEN BUT I’LL HOPEFULLY DO SOMETHING MORE GRAND AND EXCITING FOR MY NEXT POST!!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REQUESTED YUTA AND FOR THE PEOPLE WHO REQUESTED OTHER MEMBERS, THEY’RE ON THE WAY! ♡♡♡
EVERYONE ENJOY YOUR BREAKS AND DON’T STRESS TOO MUCH BC OF FINALS!!!
- jenny

Regulus, you’re 5'11 and weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than yours. Boom, roasted. Lucius, you’re a kiss ass. Boom, roasted. Avery, you failed art school. Boom, roasted. Bellatrix, you’ve slept with so many guys, you’re starting to look like one. Boom, roasted. Mulciber, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom, roasted. Fenrir, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom, roasted. Narcissa, where are you? Oh, there you are. I didn’t see you behind that grain of rice. Boom, roasted.
—  Lord Voldemort [during a Death Eaters Meeting]