He took my heart just in time,
saved me from falling for the wrong one
But it all went so fast, too fast
I can’t help it though…
I love the way his eyes dance when he smiles at me,
I love the way my hands fit in his,
how his face lights up when he talks to me
and how he out of the blue started talking to me
I have known him for so many years,
but I only start to get to know him now
I was thinking about how you’re always the first to say I love you; We were laying there on the couch, in a dark room illuminated by the light of the movie screen. I looked up at you. I could see the reflection of the movie in your eyes, the tension in your square jaw, and all the little creases in your curled up, crooked smile. You didn’t notice that I was watching you, but that’s okay. You didn’t have to. Every little thing that you did so effortlessly, I fell in love with over and over again. You turned to me and I hugged you closer, tugging on your shirt as I allowed your arm to rest around me. Before you could say anything, I leaned in to kiss you, but stopped myself just an inch before your face. You flash me that smile, oh so innocent, so sincere. I whisper your name, and find that those are the only words I know how to form. The following silence whispers the words I’ve been trying to say. You reply softly, “I love you too”, and I’ve never kissed someone so passionately as I had in that exact moment.
You remind me of the ocean. Your voice can lull and rock me into a comfort, you seep deep into every fiber of my body. Water falls over me, the lapping of warm ocean water a constant only you can provide. Other times you heave your powerful hand from deep within and suck me into a drowning panic. You can throw harsh sprays and lashes that leave words imprinted like sand grains embedded in the skin.
“ I remember one night in late February you were driving home after we went out somewhere and the sun was setting and it had turned the sky a hundred different colors. I looked over at you from the passenger’s seat and saw the light hitting your face. The last bits of the sun was shining in your eyes, making every bright, piercing blue fleck sparkle individually. You saw that I was staring at you and you asked what I was looking at. I felt myself smile one of those massive, infinite smiles, and I answered you by telling you how you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever set my eyes on. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken truer words to anyone before that night. ”
Sometimes, it felt as if you were still a part of me.
I could feel you, intertwined with my bones. Draped over the
muscles of my heart. Injected into my veins.
Even though you’ve left, physically and whatever emotion we
shared is drifting away. Sometimes, the urge to feel you in my arms was so visceral,
I swear I could conjure you into existence.
But today, I listened to a song that I normally don’t listen
to. It’s about two lovers whose love is just never enough, how their life is a
series of almost’s. And it’s made me cry, so much, that I just stopped
listening to it. I could hear our fights, our tears, our kisses etched into
I heard it today, and what surprised me was the absence of
the tears that I’m used to.
There was a strange sort of resignation that enveloped me, and
the urge to be around you wasn’t so visceral.
I think I’ll always love you (our firsts don’t always leave
us, do they?), but between all the times I cried over us and grieving over you
not being there anymore – I think I learnt to live without you.
I’ve wanted to make a meta about this forever but have never
been able to find the correct words, but where Bellarke dynamic is currently has provided a great amount of inspiration.
The Five Love
Languages is a 1995 novel written by Gary Chapman discussing the various
ways that people show and feel love. The five ‘languages’ discussed in the
novel are words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, quality time, and
physical touch. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it. It can
provide a great amount of insight regarding relationships in your life and what
actions make you feel loved.
With that summary in the way, you’re probably asking, ‘Kels, what in the world does any of this
have to do with Bellarke?’ Well, upon combining my analysis of the novel
with the Bellarke dynamic that is currently present in the show, I discovered
something very interesting. Something that says a lot about why we know Bellamy
and Clarke love each other without either of them having to say it aloud. Yep,
you heard me right! We’re not delusional—it’s basic psychological science—and
Bellamy and Clarke show and feel love in ways that are
directly compatible with one another. For a simple, brief analysis: Clarke feels love through touches, but shows it
through words of affirmation.
Bellamy feels love through words of affirmation, but shows it through touch (with a hint of acts of service dropped here and there).
Obviously, these characters feel and show love in other ways as well, but I
found that these particular love languages are deeply embedded within the
characters and their relationship with one another.
The more in-depth analysis will be broken into two parts.
The first revolves around Clarke and her love languages and is posted below,
and the Bellamy counterpart to this meta will be posted in the near future. So,
if the information above interests you in the slightest and you would like to
(Happy ObiMaul headcanon for @yaoikuza-probably won’t be the last thing i tag you in)
AU where Maul doesn’t die; Obi-Wan never intended to kill
him just temporarily knock him out so he could have some time to think. Through
that act of mercy, not only does Maul heal but he and Obi-Wan become friends
and see they have a lot in common. Most importantly, they share a love for
reading. Obi-Wan has collected tons of books over time, and has multiple copies
of some of the same volumes. So he gives Maul a lot of his volumes, and of
course Maul reads them quickly despite their length. After a while, the two
will just sit there, discussing the books, and the characters, themes, etc…etc..
And though Obi-Wan has read these books repeatedly and knows
them like the back of his hand, having conversations with Maul intrigues him.
There are themes Obi-Wan has never thought of, or certain things in the books
that he’s missed that Maul notices, and it just sets up a lovely discussion.
And with Maul, talking about any book is always more
exciting since Obi-Wan has been alone and he too enjoys delving deeper into the
pages with another mind to discuss with. And through reading, discussing (the
present, and their pasts) and just spending time together, they grow close.
They already have so many similarities so it isn’t hard for a bond, especially
when they no longer have anything to lose.
Obi-Wan has found a friend and companion in the least way he
thought possible and the same goes for Maul. It’s safe to say the both are
This of course goes on for a few more months until Maul is
healed, and announces that he’s going to leave. Obi-Wan knew his time was
coming, but he is saddened by it. Yet, he doesn’t try to stop Maul, because he
knows there’s still a lot Maul needs do for himself. He’s healed but not
completely. Though he no longer hates Obi-Wan there is still a lot of pain and
hatred that only a self journey will fix. So Obi-Wan lets him go, he encourages
And before Maul leaves, Obi-Wan gives him every single one
of the books they’ve read and discussed together. It’s a rather bitter sweet
departure, because something in Obi-Wan’s gesture tells Maul that he will may
never see him again. But they hope for the best for each other and both depart
on good terms.