books dammit!

the hogwarts houses at their worst
  • gryffindor: *in the hospital wing with two broken arms and three teeth missing* worth it
  • slytherin: so my cunning plan got so convoluted that i somehow managed to doublecross myself and ended up with a year's detention
  • ravenclaw: I DON'T NEED SLEEP IT'S ONLY BEEN A DAY SINCE I ATE I NEED TO FINISH THIS BOOK ABOUT DRAGON DUNG DAMMIT
  • hufflepuff: *arms full of kittens* i want them all

you know, call me crazy, call me biased af, but i just think it’s bullshit that we get all these sappy, ridiculous climon scenes and malec can’t even finish a goddamn conversation without someone walking in…and demanding, once again, that magnus fix their problems.

Lame adaptations and sequels are always like, “how can Mina go back to her stifling Victorian marriage after her experience with the dark, seductive Dracula??”

Meanwhile, Mina marries her best friend, who she’s known since they were children, who she share common interests with, they build a home together, work as partners, make immense sacrifices for each other, support each other through their traumas.

Guys, a marriage isn’t stifling and restrictive just because two people… get along, I guess?

when i first read harry potter (which was in my native language), in The Prince’s Tale dumbledore doesn’t ask ‘Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?” but “Have you grown to love the boy, after all?” which had obviously damaged my brain beyond repair, and that’s why i’m here now, years later, still a piece of trash

[7]

No but try to tell me that this doesn’t look exactly like a Magical Girl transformation. 

Which is ironic, because CCS didn’t actually do those, BUT I WANT IT ANYWAY OK. FOR REASONS. 

I’m heavily enjoying the fact that Kurogane is EXTREMELY WORRIED. 

And that FAI NOTICES IMMEDIATELY. 

And also because Fai is doing that thing where he drops every single trace of his happy persona and does the serious conversation voice. It’s such a sharp contrast to almost everything else that he ever does, that it always feels like getting hit in the face with a frying pan. 

“I… studied this in a book once, too.”

7

So in my friend’s house, I found this gem. It looks like a full-color fanmade book that consist of the (two) game’s main dialogues, it’s etymologies (which is the main reason that got me squeed), character introductions, a few background artworks, and overall awesomeness.

There are 230 pages in total, and at the end of the book we could see other compilations from various SMT games. Ever wonder what the rest would look like?

3

when ur side profile looks better than ur actual face.

Star vs. The Forces of Evil Episodes In One Sentence

Star Comes to Earth: Princess Cinnamon Roll that Could Kill you comes to earth and meets Misunderstood safe kid.

Party With a Pony: Spoopy Wardens hunt for the glitter pony while Star gets ice for Marco’s sweaty back.

Matchmaker: In which we learn it was probably a bad idea to give Star the wand in the first place.

School Spirit: Star misunderstands football and Marco tries to get Ferguson to blow his whistle not in that way.

Monster Arm: “Not my bowels! I love my bowels!”

The Other Exchange Student: Star is jealous of the meatball man from Bakersfieldville.

Cheer Up Star: “It’s supposed to be ironic!”

Quest Buy: Very accurate depiction of what it is like to work in retail.

Diaz Family Vacation: Both Marco and Star see new sides of their dads but that’s not necessarily a good thing

Brittney’s Party: Star and Marco party with someone who hates them while Ludo hijacks a bus

Mewberty: Star gets horny and snares boys in her web but not in that way

Pixtopia: Marco messed up and Alfonso marries Ferguson’s rebound

Lobster Claws: “… You can’t eat children.” “Really? Not even the annoying ones?”

Sleep Spell: “Camera Phooone!”

Blood Moon Ball: We’re suppose to ship them now, right?

Fortune Cookies: Love is never the answer kids

Freeze Day: Father Time offers Star and Marco some mud before riding away on his wheel-mobile pulled by giant time-hamsters I am not making this up.

Royal Pain: King Santa Claus destroy mini-golf

St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses: Princess Prison sure is a nightma–OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CLUBS?!

Mewnipendence Day: No wonder monsters hate Mewmans so much.

The Banagic Wand: Star still doesn’t get Earth and like all of us, Marco is always hungry.

Interdemensional Field Trip: Miss Skullnick fears the “Big Change” while Marco sends Jackie cat memes

Marco Grows a Beard: Ludo is out, Toffee is in, and Marco will probbaly be terrified of beards forever

Storm the Castle: “SURPRISE!”

My New Wand!: DIP DOOOWN

Ludo in the Wild: Wait, since when did Ludo become badass?

Mr. Candle Cares: “Star and I have recently become smooch buddies… On the lips.”

Red Belt: Marco searches for a meaning in life and Star searches for hammer.

Star on Wheels: *epic remix of Marco saying Star is in trouble*

Fetch: Marco can’t open juice and Star runs away from her problems and sending thank you cards

Star vs. Echo Creek: Star gets high and destroys a police car

Wand to Wand: Both Ludo and Star are terrible at magic also major ship tease

Starstruck: Star and her idol Sailor Super Saiyan destroy a park and Marco is 100002% done with this shit

Camping Trip: King Butterfly has a mid-life crisis and tries to control an eagle

Starsitting: They’re gonna be great parents some day.

On the Job: Buff Dad is best dad and buff babies are adorable

Goblin Dogs: “You might think this line is long, but listen to my goblin song!~”

By the Book: Ludo and Star still suck at magic and Glossaryck is a bigger troll than Alex Hirsch

Game of Flags: Queen has no patience and legs.

Girls’ Day Out: Janna is back and is still awesome btw

Sleepover: “TRUTH! STAR HAS A CRUSH ON MA–” *cube gets crushed*

Gift of the Card: R.I.P.  Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne… He couldn’ get his fucking chainsaw to work

Friendenemies: Star becomes one with Christmas tree while Tom and Marco go on a date and sing a romantic pop ballad.

Is Mystery: Meatfork is apparently a family name and Ludo is really starting to freak me out tbh

Hungry Larry: “He’s still hungry…”

Spider with a Top Hat: He tries and he is awesome and that’s all that matters

Into the Wand: SPAAAAADESS!!!

Pizza Thing: Marco is OCD about mushroom and Pony Head buys skinny jeans

Page Turner: Glossaryck is awesome and how did Moon miss Lizard-Loki in the orb?!

Naysaya: Tomco friendship confirmed and Marco finally asks out Jackie while Star the supportive noodle armed friend cheers on

Bon Bon the Birthday Clown: Starco fans cry, Jarco fans rejoice, and Ludo now has the book god dammit Nefcy

Raid the Cave: Glossaryck is the true neutral asshole.

Trickstar: Weird Al is a treasure and I’ll mes up anyone who makes Marco cry!

Baby: *glances around nervously* So… Star is similar to Eclipsa, huh? *Nervous laughter* Great…

Running With Scissors: Marco gets a new edition to his shipping harem and she is so cute!!!!!!

Mathmagic: Don’t worry Star, I can’t math either.

The Bounce Lounge: Marco is definitely the mom friend.

Crystal Clear: The Chancellor guy is amazing and Rhombulus just needs a hug and wAS THAT ECLIPSA IN THE BACKGROUND?

The Hard Way: “SURPRISE!” 2.0

Collateral Damage: Marco how do you not know what a possum is?

Just Friends: I’m fine! *blows up sign to prove just how fine I am*

Face the Music: Moon=Badass, Star=Why?, River=Loving Husband, Marco=Shocked, and we got to meet Ludo’s family so pretty cool episode overall.

Star Crushed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH–remember when we though Bon Bon the Birthday Clown was the end of the world?–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Leonard McCoy does not read

Oh, he reads medical journals - he’s up to his eyeballs in those. He’s up to speed on the latest and greatest surgical techniques - hell, he’s published a quite a few of them.

But Bones is not a literary guy.

Jim’s a little tipsy after a mission very-nearly-gone-disastrously-wrong.

He whirls dramatically, bottle in hand. ”Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age.”

Bones rolls his eyes. Spock raises a delicate eyebrow.

Jim raises both hands. The brandy sloshes dangerously. “Does nobody understand?” he asks sardonically.

Bones does not understand.

Spock gives the captain a long-suffering look. “James Joyce,” he says. “The Dead.”

“Thank you, Mr. Spock.” 

Huh, thinks Bones.

He spends the rest of his days believing that The Dead is an Old-Earth western film, starring hot-shot gunslinger James Joyce.