“Mi è capitato di volerti accanto con una disperazione quasi abissale e potevi riempirla solo tu, con le tue piccole contraddizioni, con la tua finta durezza. Avrei voluto scioglierla, ogni volta, come fosse neve, come un regalo che scarti, poi guardi, sorridi, si dissolve e ti resta fra le mani finalmente quello che vuoi. Io parlo molto, ma quando ti guardavo avevo solo il desiderio di ascoltarti respirare. Mi facevi venire voglia di vivere, di avere più giorni da darti. Mi allungavi la vita, senza saperlo.”
Tu meriti molto di più. Ti meriti qualcuno che ti ami con tutto il
cuore, qualcuno che pensi a te costantemente, qualcuno che passi ogni
minuto di ogni giorno a domandarsi che cosa stai facendo, dove sei, con
chi sei, se stai bene. Hai bisogno di qualcuno che ti possa aiutare a
realizzare i tuoi sogni e che sia in grado di proteggerti dalle tue
paure. Hai bisogno di qualcuno che ti tratti con rispetto, che ami tutto
di te, soprattutto i tuoi difetti. Dovresti avere accanto qualcuno che
ti possa rendere felice, davvero felice, spensieratamente felice. Non
avrei dovuto sprecare tutti questi anni senza di te.
“You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy.”
So I recently went to SPN Vegas Con, and decided to get the Dr Seuss Supernatural book I made signed by J2M2.
I couldn’t decide what page I wanted Misha to sign, so I asked him which he would prefer: Cas in the barn, or beating up Dean.
“Oh! Definitely beating up Jensen, please!”
So that’s the one he signed!
Positive response from everyone who saw it. Jared told me it was great and he was a huge Theodore Geisel fan and it was very his style. My poor starstruck brain didn’t connect that’s Dr Seuss’ real name until he pointed it out!
Amazing feeling having my work seen by the people who inspired it. So going to have others sign it when I get to AHBL in May. Shame I didn’t think to put more characters in it!
When I was in theatre class we discussed what happens when you watch a play. My teacher explained that when we watch or listen to or read something that is conventionally fictional, we suspend our reality. This means that in the moment, wha ever we are watching is, in all intents and purposes, real. So technically, when we watch a TV show or movie or read a book, that is reality. When a person is upset over a fictional character, they are upset over someone their reality suspended as a real person. So don’t ever make fun of someone for being sad when their favorite character dies, because to them, that person was real.
I’m returning to Boston tomorrow but before I go I wanted to write this letter to you. All the thoughts and feelings that have been bubbling up inside me are finally overflowing from this pen and I’m leaving this letter for you so that you don’t feel that I’m putting you under any great pressure. I understand that you will need to take your time trying to decide on what I am about to say.
I no what’s going on, Rosie. You’re my best friend and I can see the sadness in your eyes. I no that Greg isn’t away working for the weekend. You never could lie to me; you were always terrible at it. Your eyes betray you time and time again. Don’t pretend that everything is perfect because I see it isn’t. I see that Greg is a selfish man who has absolutely no idea just how lucky he is and it makes me sick.
He is the luckiest man in the world to have you, Rosie, but he doesn’t deserve you and you deserve far better. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try.
I am not scared any more, Rosie. I am not afraid to try. I no what the feeling was at your wedding - it was jealousy. My heart broke when I saw the woman I love turning away from me to walk down the aisle with another man, a man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. It was like a prison sentence for me - years stretching ahead without me being able to tell you how I feel or hold you how I wanted to.
Twice we’ve stood beside each other at the altar, Rosie. Twice. And twice we got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was too stupid to see that I needed you to be the reason for my wedding day. I should never have let your lips leave mine all those years ago in Boston. I should never have pulled away. I should never have panicked. I should never have wasted all those years without you. Give me a chance to make them up to you. I love you, Rosie, and I want to be with you and Katie and Josh. Always.
Please think about it. Don’t waste your time on Greg. This is our opportunity. Let’s stop being afraid and take the chance. I promise I’ll make you happy.